SNAP
A new short! Post-Hogwarts. 12 Grimmauld Place has become a place of chaos as four unlikely flat mates continue their fight against Voldemort's fallen supporters. Hermione/Draco
M. x
Angry footsteps and muffled voices, filled with chaos echoed from above, causing the chandelier to precariously teeter over his head.
"They're home…" Drawled Severus as he drank deeply from the finest of goblin wrought silver. It must be well past midnight…He would have checked but that clock. He was sure it was a coffin…with one preserved Black relative stuffed into it; the thing was too despicable to look at. He shuffled the notes from Kingsley he was currently trying to concentrate on and chanced a glance at the ceiling before sighing deeply. A chuckle erupted from the man sitting across from him. He was staring into the flames of a roaring fire, his legs strewn out carelessly as he swung a near empty bottle of Ogden's finest from his delicate fingers.
"Ah…to be in love!" Sirius' face split into a lecherous grin as he met Snape's eyes. Severus was not to be taken with such frivolity, he merely narrowed his glare, his lips pulling back into a sneer.
"Yes…love. However, I will enlighten you that this is the fifth glass of wine I have consumed and I am no nearer to blocking out their bloody rackets of disastrous proportions than I am to admitting that your incorrigible Godson is a Saint."
"Oh Severus, lighten up a bit. They just need a bit of a shag, that's all."
"I assume you are referring with one another?" Severus smirked widely. Even Sirius fought a giggle.
"Hardly."
"Yes, I believe the greater concern is Miss….Granger." Severus raised an eyebrow as Black scoffed.
"Please. Let's be serious. Hermione is perfectly capable of taking care of herself-"
"Yes, I am quite aware. However, the things she is making those madmen do…it's beyond me."
"Yes women, beautiful, intelligent women have that affect on even the most…sensitive of men." Before Snape could retort with what was sure to be a snarky, sharp comment, a loud bang was heard from above that resembled someone being tossed across a hard surface before smacking into the wall. Once. Twice. Three times.
"Mark my words." Snape spat, rising swiftly to his feet. "Tonight will be the third time one of them takes down the library wall." He drained his drink and Sirius smirked on in amusement. The man was really wound much too tight. "And I will…not…be the one to fix it." He strode quickly to the door, then sniffed loudly. Sirius groaned with obvious annoyance as he languidly rose to his feet swaying from the mass intake of fire whiskey. He looked to his macabre "great" grandfather Black clock.
"My God Severus, you might have warned me. It's almost three-"
"FUCK YOU!" A muffled voice screamed through the ceiling. BANG!
Sirius' eyes snapped to Snape's with a look of incredulity. "No. Absolutely not! Are they insane? If they wake up the two wenches we will really be in for it. Come on we have to stop them- " Snape yanked open the door, Sirius was a foot out before the sound of the she bitch from hell, the devil's spawn herself, was smashing through the library her ungodly voice echoing off the walls like a thousand banshees.
"YOU FUCKING TWATS! YOU INCONSIDERATE CUNTS! WHAT THE FUCK!" BANG. BANG. Two bodies hitting the bookcases.
"Oh God, my mother and her minions are going to be unbearable." Sure enough within seconds, what sounded like a small volcano was going off. The portraits from every dark corner of Grimmauld place went nuts. The She-Witch was screaming again but it all blended together, making both men grab their heads in an effort to hold the blood back.
"Come on!" Screamed Snape over the chaos. They rushed for the library, hoping to all things magical that Granger would have had the intelligence to silence her sleeping quarters…but if that Parkinson shrew went to Granger first. Sirius' legs burned his head drunkenly spinning as he tore up the stairs, Snape hot on his heels.
"Oh God," muttered Sirius. Not wishing to know the magnitude of an explosion the four of them together could cumulate. However, there were two things that Sirius Black was absolutely sure of: One. His beloved Godson had definitely been pranking him when he brought him back to life (before he destroyed the Hallows) only in order to stick him here in his family's blasted safe home and babysit the most mismatched, temperamental, set of Aurors that had ever been. Two. Draco Malfoy was going to be the one to make Hermione Granger snap.
The sight that greeted them as they stepped into the library was a familiar one. Pansy was standing in a small negligee, her breasts heaving with rage and agitation, a fuzzy eye mask that read DIVA on it was pushed up on her hair, giving her the appearance of a deranged cockatoo. Clearly she had just gotten to sleep after three long days in the Potions lab. Ron Weasley was on his hands and knees, covered in scratches and two black eyes, staring at Pansy as if he was torn before crying and thanking Merlin; Draco Malfoy was slouched up against the wall, sporting a bloody lip and a broken nose, he was smirking of course.
The wand Pansy had pointed at them was sparking with white-hot light. She looked on the verge a small breakdown.
Snape took charge, slamming the door as hard as he could instantly blocking out the screeching portraits, he disarmed Pansy without a sound. She turned suddenly, then realized who it was. A satisfied smirk slapped across her mouth as she rearranged her slender arms over one another, pushing up her breasts even more. Sirius realized in that moment just how sexy… how sinister she could really be. Her eyes snapped to Sirius as a dark look entered her eyes.
"You're in trouble now boys." Her gleeful laughter was barely contained. "Our mentors are here to put a stop to your ridiculous antics." She sneered at Draco and Ron before addressing Snape without the slightest trace of shame .
"These two dickheads," She began.
"Pansy, you wound me." Malfoy clutched his heart with mock distress. Ron growled.
"Shut it, Ferret face."
"God Weasely, a four year old could give better. You think sticking your dick in Granger every night, she would transfer some wit over. Or is she not putting out anymore now that she's realized what a complete loser you are? " Ron lunged at Draco with a roar hitting his broken nose once again. Sirius lazily twirled his wand separating the two with ease. He grinned at Pansy's approval before offering her some of his whiskey, he had forgotten he was holding. Pansy's eyes lit with wicked intent.
"See boys? This is how a gentleman acts." She purred as she threw back the whiskey. She turned to Snape slapping the bottle down. "These two just got back from scouting out Dolores Umbridge's hiding spot in Bournemouth. Apparently there was a disagreement, Professor."
Snape cringed as he tried to avoid looking at the scantily clad witch, unlike Sirius, the drooling dog. "Miss. Parkinson, how many times must I tell you to call me Severus?"
"At least once more…Professor." She taunted. Malfoy made a gagging sound as Ron covered his eyes in exasperation. Snape cleared his throat. "Miss Parkinson, I suggest you go back to bed."
"And miss all the fun?" She looked aghast at the idea. " Alright boys, let's hear it."
Ron immediately launched into a defense. "We found her. We had her. About three minutes away from a take down when fucking Malfoy sneezed. He fucking sneezed."
"What?" Snarled Snape. Both Pansy and Sirius were looking at Ron as if he had lost his mind.
"Malfoy sneezed, so loud that she fucking heard it. Her wards went off from his fucking stupid pureblood nose. And she disapperated."
"There were fucking cats everywhere. I'm fucking allergic what did you want me to do, hold it in before I wheezed to death?! And my nose is aristocratic, just for the record."
"You did it on purpose! You're still one of them you fucking Death Eater Scum. Just like dear old Dad-" Draco reacted so fast there was no chance Ron could see it coming. He smashed his fist into the ginger's face as hard as he could. He felt his fingers crushing under the pressure of Weasely's thick, stupid skull. FUCK. Snape threw them apart this time, violently.
Sirius laughed at the two wizards who tried struggling to their feet. He took a few steps back and stumbled.
"If that's the show for this evening, I have to say, mates, it was pretty unimpressive. I'm off to bed." He looked around expectantly at Snape who was giving Sirius the ultimate look of death. "The walls look fine to me, Severus, just a little sneeze. I'll leave you to clean it up." He turned his charming looks on Pansy before bowing slightly and offering her his hand. "May I? I'll make sure the lady gets back to her bedchambers unscathed?" Draco and Ron both snorted as Snape whipped around to give him a furious glare, but they exited laughing before he was able to comment. Snape turned his dark face to the two men who had lifted themselves off the floor and were now glaring at each other with such hate that Severus almost smiled, a bit. He recognized the look at once, it was the one he shared with James Potter as often as possible. He steeled his face and stepped forward.
"You two…" He began with menace. "Are pathetic. You call yourself wizards let alone Aurors? We are here for a bigger cause than the two of you idiots put together. You are telling me that you could NOT complete your mission over a sneeze? Are you so out for blood, out to sabotage one another that you will compromise your own careers for WHAT?" He glared at them with fury. "I demand you tell me at once. FOR WHAT" He roared. Ron flinched, Draco stared unwillingly into his Godfather's eyes.
"I despise Weasely. He is unintelligent, unrefined, he doesn't listen and his smell makes me think of pigs-"
"Malfoy is a disgusting excuse for a human being, he has no morals, no conscience and is pure evil-"
"ENOUGH!" Screamed Snape. "These are childish, immature excuses. You will do better. You will not let your differences define these missions. Am I making myself clear?" Severus was near to bursting a vein, if he had to curse both of them, at this point, he would. They both remained stubbornly silent.
"Have you gone deaf?" He whispered with malevolent violence. Draco folded his arms and looked past Snape, who was vaguely aware of the door creaking open. Draco's eyes softened for a moment.
"With all due respect, Sir, I rather not work with Weasely. Can't you give me someone with brains? Guts? How about…"
Severus was suddenly aware that another presence had entered the room.
"Hermione-" Ron breathed. Snape turned around slowly, there she was in her oversized pajama bottoms and knitted sweater. Wand in one hand, Crookshanks in the other, she ignored both Draco and Ron as she dropped her massively furry beast to the floor and smiled tiredly at Snape.
"Good Morning, Severus."
"Miss Granger." Snape suddenly felt awkward for yelling.
"Is everything alright?"
"Yes…I apologize for waking you, I thought Sirius had shut the door on his way out." Hermione waved her hand inconsequentially.
"No harm done, I was feeling like a…" She glanced at the clock. "Quarter past three am stroll."
Crookshanks had made his way over to Draco, purring and rubbing himself against Draco's legs. Ron hissed at the cat, shooing him away. Hermione turned her dark circled eyes from the mess that was Ron and Draco.
"Severus, the Polyjuice potion is finished, I believe Pansy has made enough for a small army. And I've had a few thoughts concerning one Dolores Umbridge-"
"Hermione! We almost had her, we would have had her!" Ron shouted, stumbling towards her. "If only Malfoy-"
Hermione turned her cold gaze to him. "Hadn't sneezed, yes Ron, I heard."
"See Weasely? If Granger thinks it was stupid, it was definitely stupid-"
"Sort of like you screaming about me and Ron's sex life? Right Draco? I would definitely count that as stupid." He shut his mouth with a quick snap. It was Ron's turn to throw Draco a taunting leer and Hermione rolled her eyes at the immaturity of it all before turning back to Snape.
"I could do some scouting tomorrow. I'd like the opportunity to get out of the Potions lab, not that I don't love it." She added quickly at Snape's frown. "It's just been awhile, and I need to keep my strength up. Plus...I think I might have a hunch." Her eyes lightened at the thought of a challenge.
"No." Ron hissed. Hermione turned her insulted gaze to him. Draco smirked and shook his head.
"Excuse me?" She was nearly spitting fire.
"Bad move, Weasel." Draco quipped. Snape threw him a vicious snarl before composing himself and turning back to Hermione.
"Yes, Miss Granger, we will speak in….a few hours. It would be a miracle if I manage to get… any… sleep tonight." He looked longingly towards the door. Hermione smiled softly at him.
"Of course, Severus. Please do rest up, I will finish cleaning up this mess." Snape glared at the two young wizards once more in warning before he nodded to Hermione and swept from the room with a soft click of the door.
A sudden silence fell. Hermione turned towards her boyfriend and her recently acquired, sort-of, friend. Frustration leaked out of her pores at the sight of them. It had been two and a half years since Draco has joined their cause, right after his inability to murder Dumbledore. Harry Potter had won the war and defeated Voldemort a year later. Harry and Ginny had gotten engaged immediately and moved into a small fortress out in the country. Harry still commuted everyday and would sometimes spend the weekend with Ron and herself in London.
Six weeks after the Great Battle, Draco and Pansy had moved into Grimmauld Place, disowned by their families, lost, but lit by a fire to regain their names and their honor. Pansy and Hermione had been tense to say the least, but as time passed the two found a fiery, loyal friendship that some only dreamed about. Ron had been forced into residence by Hermione's strong opinion that she was not ready to get engaged or even think about buying a home. She wanted to focus herself on cleaning up the rest of the bad guys and helping all of those affected by the war. For months Malfoy avoided them but strived harder than the three of them put together to prove himself. Auror training had been an intense six months, but here they were, all just trying to cope through their regrets and nightmares. One fucked up bunch of misfits.
And the most laughable part was that Sirius Black and Severus Snape had formed some sort of alliance in order to watch over them and maintain peace. Hermione had snorted in disbelief at Harry's reasoning, but surprisingly the only fights that seemed to break out were between Draco and Ron. That brought her back to the present. She had never expected in a million years for her to be calling Draco Malfoy her friend, but that's what he was. They would argue for hours, drive each other insane, scream and rail, but it was so passionate. They had so much to discover about one another and Hermione had spent no time breaking down Draco's defenses and finding the man that lay beneath. Yes he was damaged, broken, snarky, obnoxious, crude and sometimes violent, but he made her laugh, he challenged her and they were excellent research partners. All of these were cause for Ron to increase the levels of hatred he possessed when it came to Draco. He found their friendship to be sheer lunacy. And sometimes, Hermione thought he probably had a point. Maybe she was too brave and trusting for her own good, but she refused to give up on a Draco, he was the example she was striving so hard to set; that prejudices could be overcome, that people could learn, grow and change. She was happy to report that she had been witnessing this first hand for the last several months. Malfoy had changed, he had become…human. She gazed at him thoughtfully, blushing quickly under his intense stare. He always looked at her as if he was undressing her while simultaneously seeing into her soul. Hermione was so caught up in his gaze that she almost forgot about Ron. Her eyes snapped to his and he looked at her with something close to accusation. Hermione hesitated a second before snapping her wand at Draco's face.
"Episkey." His nose snapped back into place as he swore loudly. She turned back to Ron and held out her hand. He looked at it for several moments, before stalking over to the whiskey bottle Sirius had left behind. He grabbed it, swallowed deeply before turning his gaze back to Draco.
"You might have her fooled, but trust me, it's only a matter of time before you shed your next skin." He threw a disgusted look at Hermione before stalking out of the library and slamming the door with all his might. Hermione pushed her sulfur smelling fingers into her eyes as hard as she could, hoping the pressure would alleviate. She didn't know how much more of Ron's temper tantrums and ultimatums she could take. When she lifted her gaze Draco was looking at her with tenderness in his cold, grey eyes.
"Leave him Granger. He's a fucking-" She held up her hand to silence him.
"Are you okay?" The concern in her eyes almost brought him to his knees, he hid it quickly.
"What this?" He laughed hollowly. "Please Granger, it's nothing compared to the Dark Mark."
She shook her head with dark mirth. "Don't kid like that."
"Why not? Weasely spends most of our missions reminding me that I'm nothing but that. A dark smear on your life."
She scoffed at this ridiculous insinuation and moved towards him; Crookshanks purred loudly as she approached and she gave him a bemused stare. Draco's lips curled into a perfect smirk.
"Though, your pussy seems to enjoy my company over his-" She brought her hand up to cover his mouth but laughed despite herself.
"You. Are. Awful. Draco Malfoy." He licked her palm. She wretched her hand back as burned.
"Please Granger, no more reiteration. You forget I work with that broken record of a ginger fuck-"
"Draco, please-" He captured her wrists swiftly.
"Alright. I'll play nice."
"No you won't." He smiled truly, it was so rare it took her breath away.
"No…I won't." He stared down at her with so much intensity she was sure she was going to burst from the pressure. He was looking for something, Hermione wasn't quite sure what, but was still unable to tear herself from his smoldering gaze. Several moments passed before he let go of her and moved towards the door. Her breath was coming in shallow gasps, how was he able to have such an affect on her, yet remain calm, poised and cool as ever, even when he was covered in dirt and blood? She heard him creak the door open.
"Get some rest, you look like shit." She could hear his smirk.
"Right back at you, Barbie."
"Who?" He sounded affronted. Hermione picked up Crookshanks.
"Muggle reference." She slipped out the door past him, accidently rubbing herself up against him. He moaned slightly before following her out. She could feel his hard hot stare on her as she climbed the staircase. Getting to bed wouldn't be for another couple hours after the tantrum she was sure Ron would throw when she got to her room.
"Granger." His whisper, soft like a caress, it stopped her, as she turned back to give him a questioning gaze.
"I'm petitioning for a new partner tomorrow." She furrowed her brow in confusion as she watched the roguish grin spread across his face. Before she could comment further he spun on his expensive leather boots and disappeared into the gloomy corridor. Hermione sighed before continuing her assent.
Another night in the House of Black. More like House of Whack. She thought savagely.