Kagome has struggled with severe social anxiety as a child. Now she's older and moves back to her hometown in hopes of making friends and having a normal teenage life. She's finding it more difficult to cope with her anxiety as one of her new friends takes a liking to her. Rated M for language.
I don't own Inuyasha.
"Are you sure you have everything you need?" Karori asked softly. Her daughter didn't answer her at first, adjusting her navy hood over her head and keeping her gaze downcast. She glanced up at her mother when she repeated her question and chose not to answer; she instead nodded before turning her gaze down again.
"Are you sure you want to go through with this? This is your last chance to say no." Karori nudged her daughter so she could look into her eyes. Her daughter shifted and turned her head slightly in the direction of her mother but still kept her eyes down and nodded again.
"They'll be calling us to board the plane any minute now," she responded almost inaudibly. She gazed longingly out the window. This would be her last time seeing the New York City skyline for some time to come.
Kagome was born in Japan but her mother, Karori, who was a social worker, moved to Manhattan when Kagome was 7 years of age. She was diagnosed with selective mutism as a small child at the age of 4, and her mother decided to relocate to America so that Kagome could see specialists to aid in her condition as she developed. Also Karori could easily find work in the large city. After over a decade of multiple sessions with therapists and other appropriate specialists, Kagome was "treated," or at least, she liked to believe she was.
She insisted to her mother that she wanted to move back to Japan and try to attend a public high school and try having a normal teenage life. She had just turned 17 earlier in the summer and had a learner's permit for driving, but not a license.
Given Kagome's delicate condition, her mother was reluctant to let Kagome do almost anything that involved her leaving the house if not to one of her sessions. She had even been home schooled since she was 7 because she couldn't bear speaking in a class full of children, let alone to her teacher. It'd taken her a while to warm up to her teacher at home, especially when her mother was away at work.
Kagome grew tired of the restricting life of a hermit and was excited and nervous to be going back to her home country, even though she was sad to leave New York. In all honesty she knew Tokyo would be a welcome slice of New York seeing as it also had the same fast-paced and hectic business flow of New York. That, and she was excited to not have to speak English anymore.
She was also excited to see her brother and grandfather again. Her brother was only an infant when Kagome was diagnosed and moved to America with her mother. It was tough on her parents to separate and leave Souta with only his father and grandfather. That, and the death of Kagome's father a couple years after the move made things more stressful for Karori. But Kagome's grandfather was in delicate condition and couldn't afford to locate Souta to America with his mother and sister, and Karori's income heavily went toward her daughter's special treatment, so he was raised by his grandfather most of his life. Kagome and Karori would visit for a month every summer then return to America.
To help Kagome maintain contact with everyone she knew in Tokyo, she was heavily encouraged to write and call to her old acquaintances whether they be her grandfather, cousins, or her childhood friend, Sango.
Kagome smiled, remembering how she and Sango literally used to share a crib. Kagome's and Sango's mothers were very close and had their daughters around the same time. Every summer Kagome would visit her family, Sango would stay over almost every night. She was the only non-blood person Kagome was completely at ease with other than her teacher and therapists.
"Aren't you happy to be leaving this place?" Kagome asked her mother quietly. Karori smiled.
"Not so much happy to be leaving as I am to be back in Japan." She placed her hand lightly over her daughter's, stroking the back of her hand with her thumb and leaning her head on top of Kagome's.
"I didn't know you liked it here so much."
"It's a good place for work. Anyway, aren't you happy you don't have to speak English anymore? I certainly am." Karori chuckled. Kagome shook slightly as she also chuckled slightly.
"S'not so bad. I learned at a young age at least."
"Now boarding flight 127 to Los Angeles."
Kagome grabbed her backpack and she and her mother stood up. "That's us," she said as she slung her pack over her shoulder. She and Karori would make a stop in California, then to Japan from there. They found their seats on the plane and listened to the flight announcements before powering down their electronics and taking off. Kagome pressed her hand lightly against the glass of the window as the City that Never Sleeps disappeared out of her view. She plugged in her headphones and started up her iPod and leaned on her mother's shoulder, trying to nap most of the 6 hour flight away...
Kagome and Karori hailed a cab from the airport to their old family shrine. Their flight landed just shy of 5 in the afternoon, and Kagome wanted nothing more than to go to her old bedroom and sleep for 14 hours straight. Her mother had set up a meeting with a high school principal 3 days before the school year was set to start. Kagome never bothered to ask, but she could guess the meeting was to inform her teachers and principal of her condition as a precaution in the event that she becomes unresponsive or has a breakdown.
Kagome rolled her eyes. As practice for interacting in a public high school, (and for her mother's mental health) Kagome had taken a self defense class for 2 months. In a way it was easy for her, seeing as she was very rarely put in the spotlight for having to speak to a group of people, only to introduce herself. She hadn't exactly made friends but she got along rather well with most of her classmates, especially seeing as most of them were out of her age group, being either smaller children or adults. And the gathering usually consisted of less than 20 people.
She was starting to recognize the area she was in and felt a twinge of excite unfurl in her gut, despite her fatigue. She was really, truly home in the heart of Tokyo. She almost squealed in delight when they pulled up to the familiar staircase that led up to the shrine. She saw her grandfather and brother at the top of the steps and they rushed down the stairs upon seeing the cab pull up.
"It's so good to see you!" Karori exclaimed and Souta practically ripped her out of the cab and into a bear hug. He was relatively tall for a 13 year old. Tall, but lanky, with unkempt short black hair and warm brown eyes. He towered right over his mother as he pulled her in for a hug. Kagome smiled and shook her head as she handed the cab driver his tip.
"Would you like some help with your bags, Miss?" he asked Kagome. She took a deep breath and whispered a "no thank you" before stepping out of the car to get the bags out of the trunk.
"Look at how much you've grown!" Karori was still holding onto her son and Kagome struggled with the luggage.
"Share her, boy!" Kagome's grandfather chimed in as he pulled in his daughter for a much gentler hug. Souta bounded to the back of the cab to assist Kagome.
He beamed down at her. "Wow, Kagome, look at you. You haven't grown and inch since you turned 12." he teased and Kagome blushed as he pulled her into a quick hug. Kagome knew he was just teasing, but it was the truth. She'd been 154 centimeters (about 5 feet) for as long as she could remember. She was petite and slim, with long raven hair and blue-gray eyes. She hugged her brother and shrugged him off, grinning back at him.
"We can't all grow up to be a string bean." she laughed as he rolled her eyes at her.
"Let me help you with those," her grandfather said and Kagome gave him a quick hug.
"I've missed you, Gramps," she grinned as he kissed her cheek.
They brought their luggage upstairs and started to talk and get settled in. Kagome's grandfather had already prepared dinner with the help of Souta and they ate and enjoyed each other's company for a while before Kagome retreated to her old bedroom to unpack.
As she was hanging her clothes in her closet, Souta appeared behind her.
"Sango wants you to call her as soon as you get settled in." he said. Kagome gave him a soft "okay" before going back to her clothes. Once she finished putting all of her stuff away, she decided to strip and take a nice long bath. She sat on closed toilet seat as she waited for the tub to fill, dumping in her essential bathing oils. She tied her hair up onto a bun before she hopped in. She didn't feel like washing it and wadding through her things for her hair dryer just yet. So she only unpacked her clothes and decided to do the rest tomorrow morning.
Usually her baths lasted about a half hour as she often treated herself to tea and music during. Donning the cordless from her brother's room real quick, she got situated in the hot bath as she dialed Sango's number.
She picked up before the first ring and squealed loudly, causing Kagome to hold to phone out away from her ear as she laughed.
"OH MY GOD!" she heard Sango exclaim. "How ARE you? Are you all settled? Did you unpack everything? Are you nervous about school yet?"
"Sango-holy crap... can I answer one question at a time please?" Kagome giggled.
"I've missed you so much!"
"I missed you too. And no, I haven't unpacked everything. I mean if you wanna come over tomorrow and help me..." she trailed off as Sango exhaled.
"Of course. I kinda figured you'd get severe jet lag. New York is how many hours behind Japan?"
"Fourteen?" Kagome picked at her nails as she set the phone down in the soap dish with the hands-free on. "Sango I'm so happy to be back. I can't tell you how much of a pain it is to have to speak English to everyone but Mama."
"Well soon you'll be surrounded by Japanese-speaking youth. Are you really ready for public school?"
"Yeah. At least I feel ready. I've been doing really well in therapy and my medication definitely helped. I just hope you and I have at least one class together."
Sango snorted. "Tell your mom when she goes to that meeting tomorrow to match your schedule with mine. Since you've known me forever."
"'Since we were the twinkle in the eyes of our fathers,'" Kagome laughed, quoting Sango's reference to their pre-birth friendship.
"Oh my God yes! And remember, no more waking up and sitting with instructors in your pajamas. Instead there's a dress code."
"Yeah, Mama told me there's a uniform. She's going to pick it up tomorrow at the meeting. What's the point of uniforms anyway?"
Sango snorted. "So you don't look like a prostitute, or dress like you're affiliated with a gang. I honestly think the uniforms are cute. Girls wear black plaid skirts with a tucked in white blouse and optional bow or tie. Boys wear black pants with a blazer or vest over a dress shirt."
"Oh, that's not so bad then. I wore something similar to that before."
"Exactly."
"So what am I to expect at a public high school?" Kagome raised a brow. "Any bullies or cult organizations I should be aware of?"
"God, I hope not," Sango giggled. At Kagome's pause, she continued. "Look, it's not as bad as you see in movies. No one is gonna punch you in the face or try to shove you into a trash can on your first day."
"But everyone smokes weed and pops pills and has sex in an old pick up truck in the back of their step dad's house?"
Sango burst into laughter. Kagome frowned. In a way she was being serious. She hadn't attended a public school since she was a child. She only had references to high school based on what she saw on TV.
"Well I can't say no to that question but not everyone is into that kinda stuff." Sango affirmed.
Kagome snorted. "Right. So about this new boyfriend of yours..."
Sango dropped something in the background and cursed as she dove for it. Kagome bit back a laugh.
"Yeah about that. He's a sweetheart. If you want, I can bring him over tomorrow so you can meet him before school starts. Maybe it'll be easier seeing as it won't be such a big crowd."
"Tell me about him." Kagome said distractedly.
"Well his name is Miroku Houshi-"
"Cute." Kagome grinned as Sango howled. She could picture her friend turning bright pink as she swooned over her newfound lover.
"Shut up! His name is Miroku and he's tall and uses big words when he talks and he's into banking and stuff."
"So he's cute and he's a pick pocket," Kagome teased.
"No! I'm gonna punch you!" Sango laughed. "He's a really sweet guy. I told him a lot about you too. I think you guys will get along fine. I even showed him that picture of you that I took last summer and he still thinks you're adorable."
Kagome's eyes widened. "Sango you didn't!" Sango could be heard laughing and snorting on the other end of the phone as Kagome turned red in embarrassment. Last summer during Kagome's stay there, Sango and Kagome had a sleepover the night of Kagome's 16th birthday and Karori was taking pictures of the event.
When it came down to singing happy birthday, Kagome was given a giant chocolate tiered cake with a 1 and 6 candle on the top. Right at the moment they finished singing and Kagome was to make her wish and blow out the candles, she inhaled to blow and instead ended up sneezing. Karori caught the glorious moment of Kagome at the climax of her sneeze with spittle coming out of her mouth as she sneezed her candles out. It was the single funniest memory that Sango had of Kagome and begged Karori to email her the picture so that she could bask in the moment forever.
And Sango was still laughing as Kagome recalled the most embarrassing birthday she'd ever had.
"No, I'm kidding, but come on, Kagome. Anyone who sees that picture and still wants to be a part of your life must really love you." Sango spazzed out laughing again as Kagome fumed.
"Yeah yeah..." Kagome muttered. "So have you and Miroku...?" she trailed off sluggishly.
"No, though honestly he's a little perv. He can't be discreet about anything sexual. And he often turns non-sexual things into a sexual thing. Drives me nuts."
"Let me guess. 'That's what she said' jokes?"
"Not just that."
"Fine you can bring him over. Maybe if I don't have a class with you I'll have one with him? I have to know somebody."
Sango paused. "Kagome, are you honestly gonna try to make friends?"
"Of course. My therapist says it'd be good for me. And he thinks I'll be fine. I mean I'm not striving to be the most popular girl in school or anything, but I wanna at least have my little clique of friends." she explained.
"Well in that case, I'll introduce you to my group of friends. We can all be a group thang. And everyone has the same lunch period so just sit at my table and I'll introduce you to everyone and you're in the club." Sango smiled. She liked the idea of her modern friends becoming close with her overly anxious long term best friend.
"Yeah... how many people are we talking about?" Kagome asked nervously.
Sango thought for a moment. "Maybe 6 people?"
"Okay, that doesn't sound too bad." Kagome smiled. She like the idea of having a small group of close friends. Maybe high school really wouldn't be so bad.
"Look, if you want, I can tell them all about your situation so that they're more understanding in case you uh... shut down..."
"No, Sango, I want the full experience of going to a new school and making friends and forgetting about what a freak I am." Kagome insisted.
"Okay, but do you at least wanna walk to school together? I can meet you at your shrine with Miroku."
"Yeah sure, that sounds great."
"And don't forget to ask your mom to request you having all classes with me."
"I will." Kagome sighed. "Look, Sango I'm gonna head to bed. I'm exhausted. Come over tomorrow whenever you want, okay? My mom doesn't mind."
"You think she'd let me stay over on the night before school so we can go together?" Sango asked hopefully. Kagome shrugged.
"You have to ask? Sango you could literally walk into my house at 3 am and my mom would just give you a blanket and a pillow." she giggled.
"Then it's settled! I'll bring Miroku over tomorrow and school is in a couple days. We have to go shopping for your supplies." Kagome smiled and rolled her eyes.
"Sango it's after 8. I'm gonna hit the hay."
"Okay. Night, Kagome. See ya in the morning."
"Goodnight." Kagome hung up and stretched. She rinsed off the suds and pulled the plug from the drain. She toweled off quickly and pulled on a camisole and a pair of underwear. She usually slept in her undergarments, even if Sango stayed over.
Staring at herself in the mirror, she pondered whether or not she should wear make up to school. She wasn't one for dolling up to go out, but if she was gonna be around people her age, she wanted to make a good impression.
Not that she wasn't attractive. Kagome wasn't one to go all out and say she really really ugly or really beautiful. She viewed herself as moderately attractive. She was realistic about her image. That, and a lot of her therapy session were devoted to boosting her self esteem.
Deciding not to deal with her hair until morning, Kagome left it in a messy bun and climbed into bed.
Tomorrow, she would be a teenager. She would meet Sango's boyfriend and interact with him and go out shopping and socializing. It was a start to her new, productive social life.
She desperately didn't want to screw it up.
I have returned, with a new story, yet my others are still on hiatus. I really wanted to get this up because it's devoted to a friend of mine who struggled with selective mutism. But he's come a long way now. I will try to finish my other stories on the side... Can't guarantee it'll be soon.
I did make end up making a major change to the story starting with this chapter... It didn't dawn on me to include a uniform policy and seeing as this is Japan, it simply couldn't be overlooked. I was kinda aiming at a Ling Xiaoyu school uniform, but in all black rather than blue and green, and with the skirt pulled up a bit higher on the body, kinda like a dress...
To those of you who don't know, selective mutism is a severe social anxiety disorder that tends occur in children who have family members with a long history of anxiety. It often results in the child having inability to speak around certain people, in large groups such as classrooms, or in certain situations, and they tend to freeze up or speak very quietly or whisper when spoken to. One of the best treatments for selective mutism is for the child to make friends and boost their self esteem so this is the start of Kagome's attempt at a normal social life.
Please let me know what you think!