The Pain in My Heart

The war was over. Snoke is gone. He chose the Light. Rey sighed as she wondered what made Ben change his mind. Leia? No, Han couldn't get him back and look where that got him. Finn? She snorted, he hates that traitor even now. Me? That's nonsense.

Rey walked toward the infirmary. This was giving her a headache. I have to stop overthinking this. It was all she could think about and it consumed her. Soon, she could barely eat or sleep and Ben was starting to notice.

"Rey, what's going on?" He questioned when they were alone in the woods, his hand slightly carcassed her face and Ben looked deep in her dark chocolate brown orbs. Was that concern etched on his face? No, Rey reminded herself that she was no one.

She looked up at him and pushed his gentle touch off of her harshly as she had ripped his hands away. "Nothing's going on."

"You're not eating, your body needs nutrients or you'll lose muscle." His hand was going to caress her cheek once again.

She longed for his touch, but stubborn as she was, she ducked away from his outreaching hand and angrily pointed out, "You have no right to talk about my body, which is exactly that! Mine! I am an adult, I've been on my own for twelve years and I was just fine! Besides, it's not like I haven't gone a few days on Jakku without eating, I can handle anything!"

"You petulant girl, I'm just trying to help!" Ben snapped and Rey's eyes immediately shone with confliction of an apology. He waited for something, but nothing ever came. "Fine! I'll leave you be, it's clear my opinion is unwanted."

Rey wanted to say that it mattered the most, but kept her mouth shut in a tight line before she said something she'd regret again.

Ben threw his hands up out of frustration, "Jesus, Rey! Can you stop being stubborn for one moment to see what's happening?" He started walking away from her, back to his own home. He turned so he was walking backwards to face her. "I'm not the only one who noticed. Everyone has noticed, but Luke is the one who brought it up to me. He would like to know what's going on and you know what? So would I!"

Rey watched as he left. She angrily kicked a nearby rock out of frustration. Hot tears snaked their way down her face, messily soaking the vest she wore. She sat on the nearby rock that she had kicked a few moments ago, just thinking it over. Maybe she should go and apologise. Maybe she should tell him the truth? What is the truth? Rey thought about it for a second, I'm in love with him. I can't eat, I can't sleep, he's the first thing on my mind during the day and the last thing I think when the day is over. I love Ben. I'm in love with Ben.

She made the decision to tell him, after all, this involves him and he has a right to know. She made her way through camp, greeting people with a slight wave along the way. She was beginning to lose hope that she'd even find him. Rey had checked his home, the Jedi training spot, and with Leia, the only place left was the mess hall. She crossed her fingers.

Rey's breath hitched and she turned to stumble away. Aditya was all over him and everyone knows she loves seducing the men on camp, married or not. She was all over him and he was laughing at something she said! Clearly eating it up like a prepubescent boy.

Rey had to get out of here. She sprinted until stopping was priority for breathing. Her cheeks were bright from the wind slapping her face and chest rising and falling heavily. Her lungs filled with air as fresh tears tumbled down her heated rosy cheeks.

Suddenly, Luke's metallic hand rested on her shoulder. The cool metal comforted her in a way, but not enough to keep the sobs in check. Hiccups racked her body as she cried harder than she's ever cried in her entire life. She gripped to where her heart was located and clawed the spot in her chest, wanting this pain to disappear.

Luke only spoke once the sobs had slowed to just tears rolling down. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I'm here for you if you do want to talk."

Rey smiled through the tears and embraced her master. "Thank you for always being her for me."

Luke waited patiently until she was ready to tell the story herself.

"I saw Aditya with Ben," she said simply as if it were obvious.

Luke smiled at her sympathetically, he knew all about her feelings for his nephew. They were very strong. "Well when you're in love with someone, the thought of someone else making him happy tears you apart. However, maybe if he wasn't such a dense boy, he'd know your feelings? He's not that smart as you know. He came up to me, you know, and told me he could feel your feelings for someone and he wanted to know for whom."

"He deserves better than me."

She looked down at hands, her fingers wrestling for dominance against one another. When that wasn't satisfying enough, she glided her hand through the green grass like she would with sand back on Jakku. Jakku…

"Luke, I would like to go back to Jakku. Just for a month or so to lessen these feelings." Luke's face must have shown a doubtful look because she added, "Please anything is better than being here and cutting open this fresh wound. I need to find a way to lessen the pain. Please?"

Luke nodded. "Go on, young padawan. I'll still be here when you return."

In Rey's mind, she thought, I don't know if I'll ever be able to come back. I don't know if I can rid my heart of this love. It has infected every vein, every muscle within my heart. It spreads misery throughout the rest of my body with each pump. Every time my eyes close, I can feel the connection we share and I would do anything, anything, to get rid of it.

Soon enough, Rey had packed a quick bag and was heading off in the millennium falcon. She considered taking Chewie, for a short minute, before deciding that this was a trip she has to make herself. She buckled herself in and lifted the ramp, prepping the ship for take off.

"Where are you going?"

She jumped at the sound of Ben's voice. She had been so absorbed in taking off, she hadn't noticed him standing there. She sighed. "What are you doing here, Ben?"

"I ask again, where are you going?" He took a menacing step forward. Despite renouncing the First Order, he hadn't entirely lost that chilling intimidation he could project so easily.

"Back to Jakku, where I belong." She opened the ramp and pointed with her thumb. "Now get off."

"How long are you leaving for?"

"Indefinitely." She turned away from him, continuing to prep for her journey. She didn't want to see his face when he smiled.

He forcibly turn her pilot's chair to face him. "Why are you leaving? Did Luke approve?"

"I'm nobody! Can't you see? I'm just scavenger scum!" Fresh tears danced in her eyes.

Ben wiped a stray tear away with one of his fingers. He brushed over Rey's cheek with such a gentleness. Her eyes closed.

"What's the real reason you're leaving?" Why are you leaving me? Despite Ben not saying it out loud, she knew what he wanted to say. She could hear it through their connection, he shared it with his unintentionally.

"Why do you even care?"

"I care about you."

She wanted to cry all over again. "Yeah, well I love you, but I can't take this anymore. This pain in my heart, I need to be rid of it. You're the reason I'm leaving." Oops, she hadn't meant to tell him that aloud; however, her temper always seemed to get the best of her.

"You love me? Rey, answer me."

Rey said nothing in return. That was answer enough for him. Ben stepped forward, two fingers pulled her chin so she had to meet his gaze. He leaned in, ghosting his lips on hers. This was not enough. Rey wrapped her arms around him and brought him the rest of the way to her lips. Her fingers tangled in his ebony curls and she wiggled, trying to bring herself closer to him.

He snaked his arms around to touch the small of her back, pulling her closer too. They were trying to become one because that's how the kiss felt. As if they were of one heart, one mind. It wasn't him and her, it was them as one.

He pulled away for a second to allow them to catch their breath. "I've been afraid to tell you that you're the reason I left the First Order. I knew I would never be able to fight you in a battle, I would rather die than harm you."

"I was going to tell you my feelings, but I saw you with Aditya."

He shook his head. "I would never do anything with her when the girl I love is right in front of me now."

She rested her forehead against his.

"So those feelings I sensed in you, those weren't for Finn or Poe?" Ben looked at her.

"It was all for you… besides, Poe and Finn are together."

The shock was soon replaced with a shiteating grin. "Oh. Oh! That's great news!"

"You're only saying that because it means neither are interested in me."

"Well, yes. I don't want to fight for your love against them… against anyone."

She breathed deeply. "You don't have to fight for my love… it's yours already."

Rey grabbed his free hand and brought it just above her left breast, he could feel her heartbeat through her clothing. It was rhythmic. It was passionate.

Their lips once again meet in a collision of sparks, as if they were duking it out in training with their lightsabers. She would push forward and he would push back, one move countered with another. It was electrifying, it was just right, it was them.

Their love was consuming, anyone could tell and soon enough, they had to consummate their love. It took him awhile, but he finally got up the nerve to propose.

Rey hadn't expected it, she thought it was just another day of piloting the Falcon to retrieve a fallen soldier. When she came back and talked about her day to Ben, he made the decision to spontaneously propose. Already having the ring, he carried that thing around for weeks just waiting for the perfect moment, he realised that the perfect moment was anytime he was with her. She had her back to him, stirring the vegetables and thinking he was scrambling the eggs, but when she turned around to face him, there he was. He was down on one knee, holding a little black box and asking her if she'd want to spend the rest of her life making him the happiest man alive.

Of course she said, "Yes!"

He gladly slipped the intricate stone that looked like forever encased ice. The band was a silver that sparkled when she wore it on the fourth proximal digit of her left hand. She radiated with euphoria.

The minute it was slid on her finger, Rey ran off to show it off to his mother, Leia, who very eagerly started the plans immediately. When she told Finn and Poe, Finn was hugging Poe's waist closely, but released his boyfriend to hug one of his best friends. Poe hugged her next and wished her many happy years. Luke congratulated his nephew and the girl who was the closest he had to a daughter, he could feel the strength of their love.

A few years after they had been married, Rey found out she was eating for two. They devoted all of their love from each other and poured it into the baby boy or girl they knew they would love more than life.

When she learned she was carrying twins, Ben shrugged nonchalantly, "It runs in my family. My grandparents had twins. My parents would have had twins, but my brother or sister died before my mother was even five months along in her pregnancy."

When the time for the birth came, Anakin and Hanna Solo were welcomed to the entire New Republic. Rey and Ben didn't think it was possible, but their love grew and expanded, embracing their two children in it.

Their love was consuming, but it wasn't all bad. In fact, it was probably even stronger than the Force within them.

THE END.

A/N: Short story time: Aditya tried hooking up with Poe next, but so obviously rejected her because Finn is his one true love. Aditya found love with an ex-storm trooper (not Finn, because he and Poe are made for each other, obvi) and everyone lived happily ever Star Wars. The End.

I'm in love with how this turned out!

P.S. I've made a few videos of the two of them if you want to check them out! I worked really hard on them (not really lol video editing is hard stuff *sarcasm* [but in all serious, it is sort of difficult]) and had a lot of fun putting them together. I've put the links down below for YouTube.com. I don't know why FF doesn't let me write "YouTube . com," but you put in YouTube and a slash ( / ) and the watch?v=... whatever lol. Gosh this sucks, like why does it let me put YouTube with the .com only SOME of the time! (FF, why you no fix that? *says with cartoon meme face*)

Kylo Ren and Rey - Monster: watch?v=s1MJru65gvI

Kylo Ren and Rey - Only Human: watch?v=ptB8Y8D072Y

Kylo Ren and Rey - I Found: watch?v=DiwOxxgdprs&feature=

Kylo Ren and Rey - Victorious: watch?v=zbotW-2ZvX0&feature=