Rejoice my fellow Mary sues haters. We're going to bang 'em all today! Pick your juices and make a toast, coz' it's gonna be hot. (Enjoy the pun coz' I'm a badass!)

Disclaimer: Prince of tennis is not mine. The same goes with the fics. I'm not responsible for editing some of it and changing the ending without permission, since I'm a badass. The original fic will be preserved as best as I can (including the typos and grammatical mistakes). However, for safety purposes and a lil' bit of artistic touch, the original character's name will be changed and the titles and suethors will not be named. These informations are highly confidential.

Warning: This fic contains violence that might offend some people. There're also Mary Sues bashing ahead. Suethors read at your own risks. The badass community would not provide any tissue papers or handkerchiefs for you guys to wipe your tears and not even a shoulder to cry on. You're on your own!

"(This is editor's comment... and believes me it's full of it)"

Chapter 1: In Which the Coach is an Alien and the Red Indian Dances.

Kiyoko walked away from the principal's office and walk around the campus. She walks all the way to the boys' tennis courts. There she saw Horio. Kiyoko bow to Horio. ("all the way to the boy's tennis courts". Intentionally is it? Hmmm... suspicioussss…)

Kiyoko told Horio, "Thank you for helping me getting to the principal's office."

Horio said with his hand on the back of his head, "Hehehe, of course, I've been here for a long time, I know where everything is."

Kiyoko laughs, "Hai, I'll know who to find, if I ever need help again."

Horio blushed and put his hand behind his back and laughed. Kiyoko looked behind Horio and noticed the regulars playing tennis. Inui and Kaidoh were playing against Eiji and Oishi. Kaidoh was hitting a Boomerang Snake and score a point. Eiji did acrobatic plays and Oishi did a Moon Volley. (Editor wonders if it was done simultaneously out of purpose or just for their amusement since Kaidoh already scored a point). Momoshiro and Ryoma were against Takashi and Fuji. Ryoma serve with Twist Serve, Kawamura returned it with Two-Handed Hadoukyuu, Momoshiro did a Jack Knife, Fuji did a lob and Momoshiro returned it with Dunk Smash, and Fuji counters it with Higuma Otoshi. (…and everybody gapes).

Kiyoko commented on the regulars, "My, my, the tennis players here have some talent." (How she knows, I have no idea. She doesn't even play tennis!)

Horio said, "Of course, our goal is to go to Nationals."

Then Arai noticed Horio talking to Kiyoko, so he came.

Arai yelled, "Hey freshman, go pick up the balls." Arai looks at Kiyoko and said, "And you, no outsiders are allowed."

Kiyoko answered back, "Sorry, I'm new here so I don't know the rules. You shouldn't blame that person, I was just commenting about the talented tennis player you have. If I did anything wrong, please forgive me." Then Kiyoko smiled. (bleh…)

Arai blushed "Uh, of course." Arai thought, "Why am I blushing for a little four eyes girl like her?" (Editor ponders too).

Kiyoko thought, "The boys over there look like they were having fun. I wonder if tennis is also fun for me."

Kiyoko went to the opening door of the court and walked up to Ryuzaki-sensei.

Kiyoko said to Ryuzaki-sensei, "Sorry if I'm rude, but may I play tennis too, even though I'm not in the club." (Aww… she wants to know if tennis is fun for her, and she asked the coach to let her play. What mary sue wants mary sue gets eh? Besides, if she knows it's rude, why bother asking?)

Ryuzaki-sensei look at Kiyoko surprised "We don't usually let students that are not in the club play, but if you want to, you may. Who do you want to play?" (Editor suspects another alien had invaded earth and poses as the coach. The normal Ryuzaki sensei would bark "if you want to play, join the girl's team. This is not a playground!").

Kiyoko smiled "I don't really care who I play with, just as long as I can figure out the rules of tennis." (Hello, ever heard an invention called 'books'? There's internet too. Well, editor guessed that this mary sue is not that bright.)

Ryuzaki-sensei looks surprised again and looks around for a person that is not playing, "Arai, since you're not doing anything, why don't you play with this girl." (Such compassion for a nosey nobody… this is sooo not Ryuzaki. And I wonder why she didn't ask her granddaughter or Tomoko instead.)

Arai looks shocked, "I have to play, with her?"

Ryuzaki-sensei sigh, "Hai." Then she thinks "I wonder how well she plays if she doesn't know the rules." (Normal Ryuzaki does not wonder. She knows that this girl would totally fail.)

Then Ryuzaki-sensei looks at Sakuno-chan, "Why don't you let her borrow your tennis racket, Sakuno? You're not playing tennis right?" (Oh well, Sakuno chan is playing hookey and doesn't even practice with her club. Amazingly, Ryuzaki allows it.)

Sakuno gave Kiyoko her tennis racquet. Kiyoko thank her and walks up to the tennis court Arai was on. Ryuzaki-sensei was the referee.

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "Since…What's your name?"

Kiyoko looks at Ryuzaki-sensei and smiled, "My name is Higurashi Kiyoko."

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "Since Kiyoko is a guest she will serve first." (Such an incompetent coach, she doesn't even teach the mary sue how to determine the serves in tennis. Poor Seigaku.)

Kiyoko looks at Ryuzaki-sensei again "Umm, I don't really know the rules that well. Can Arai-senpai serve first?"

Ryuzaki-sensei answered, "Fine, Arai, you serve."

Arai bounced the ball, "Are you ready? Even if you're a girl, I'm not going easy on you. So, here it comes."

The ball came toward Kiyoko's right and with a forehand swing; the ball hit over the net and goes toward the doubles' alley. (Inexperience 'girl' hitting a tennis ball served by an experienced 'guy' in her first try? Aww… come on, gimme a break!)

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "Out! Arai, 15-love."

Kiyoko looks confused, "But I hit the ball inside." (And she even dares to challenge the referee, such guts…)

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "You can only hit doubles' alley if you're playing doubles." (She doesn't even explain where the double alley is. Hello, the girl is a newbie..?)

Kiyoko answered, "I see, all I have to do now is try to avoid the alleys." Kiyoko gripped the racquet tighter, "Please continue." (Come on girl, avoid all the alleys there are, like you know which one you should avoid.)

Arai jumped to make a serve, "Here it goes, freshman." (Don't try so hard, you're so going to lose even before you started, my friend.)

Kiyoko ran to her left and did a backhand return; it hit the net and rolls on it until it falls into Arai's side. (Marui Bunta's trick isn't it? She copied it without knowing anything. And besides if she's a newbie, how did she manage to hit a spinball…)

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "15-all."

Kiyoko clasp her hands and laugh out of enjoyment "I score a point." (Oh gosh, giddy – giddy.)

Arai gets irritated and shouted, "Don't get it in your head. I'll score the next one." (Don't bother. You're destined to lose to a mary sue.)

Kiyoko answered, "We'll see." (Well, she did give her warning…)

Then the regulars came to see the match. Eiji jumped on Ryoma.

Eiji said, "Waaa! It looks like a freshman girl is trying to have a match with Arai, and Ryuzaki sensei even let her. She's the referee too. That is not like our sensei! And doesn't that mary sue look a bit weird with those big glasses. I bet she thinks she's too pretty and wants to hide it."

Oishi scolded, "Eiji!"

Eiji apologized, "But it's true, Oishi. Mary sues are like that you know!"

Arai serves again. Kiyoko hit it back, Arai returned it, Kiyoko returned it and it hit the line.

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "Out! Arai, 30-15."

Kiyoko began to look puzzled, "But it's in by .5 millimeters." (Well, that was like .02 inches or 500 micrometer and it was absolutely "impossible to see from the other side of the court!". It's either the suethor does not learn math or the mary sue is an alien. And by the way, it was technically out. Does .5 mm 'in' really counts? And I wonder where the measuring is suppose to start? The center point of the ball? Or 90 degrees from the locus point of circumference of the ball? )

Ryuzaki-sensei asked, "What do you mean?" (Don't you think she cared too much? I was positively sure that she would say something along the line of "Does it matter? I'm the referee here and you're an unwanted newbie. Be grateful!")

Inui answered the question, "That statement is true if you calculate the angle of the racquet, the speed and spin of the ball." (... hmm, velocity? equation of motions? oh brother, definitely an alien. Editor tries to imagine the equations involved, and the level of precision it needs to obtain a .5 mm answer.)

Kiyoko looks at Inui smiling, "I didn't know another person around my age could calculate that well too." (Inui is an upperclassmen, hello…? he is so not your age.)

Everyone was surprised, "Ehh, what? She can hear Inui from here? She's a mary sue who tries to hide his beauty with big glasses, a genius with supersonic hearing and a show off too? She's not even around Inui's age! We're doomed!"

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "If that's true, then Arai, 15-30." (The coach believes in the newbie? C'est impossible!)

Arai continues to serve until Kiyoko won the first match.

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "Match! Kiyoko 1-0. Kiyoko to serve."

Kiyoko answered, "Hai."

Kiyoko did a perfect twist serve after 2 turns. Everyone was surprised. (Duh…)

Horio, Kachiro, and Katsuo stammered, "That...that's twist serve."

Eiji laughs, "Ochibi, it looks like she copied your move."

Kiyoko serve the next serve normally. Arai returned it to the farther left of Kiyoko. Kiyoko ran and while balancing on her hand, she returned a backhand serve and scored a point. Again everyone was shocked.

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "Kiyoko, 15-love." (? Isn't it supposed to be 40-love?)

Tomo and Sakuno were surprised, "Ehhh, Eiji-senpai's acrobatic moves."

Fuji chuckled, "Looks like she copied your acrobatic moves too, Eiji." (Of course, she's a 'Photocopy' machine.)

Eiji was mad and wave his arms madly, "Acrobatic moves are a lot harder than it looks, nyaa. Even I have some difficulties. That mary sue did it just like that, nyaa."

Kiyoko serve normally again. Arai did a lob. Then she jumps and did a Dunk Smash. (Ughh… the shining moment of the photocopy machine. Pot's characters, be awed by her prowess!)

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "Kiyoko, 30-love." (What's up with Ryuzaki? The count is totally wrong!)

Kaidoh chuckles, "Looks like your move is too easy Momoshiro, that a little girl like her can copy it."

Momoshiro was mad, "Urusai!" Kiyoko serve again, Arai return it, and then she returns it with a Boomerang Snake.

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "Kyoko, 40-love."

Momoshiro snickered, "Who's laughing now?"

Kaidoh was angry, "You want to fight?"

Momoshiro became irritated and grabs Kaidoh's shirt, "You want to fight?" (Aww, don't bother fighting guys. She's a photocopy machine after all.)

Tezuka said, "You guys should stop fighting and observe the mary sue."

Kaidoh and Momoshiro said at the same time, "Buchou!"

Throughout the rest of the game she uses Moon Volley, Two-Handed Hadoukyuu, Jack Knife, and Higuma Otoshi. When she also did Tezuka Zone (even though she never saw Tezuka did it) everyone was shocked. (You see that statement "(Even… Tezuka…)" back there? No I did not write that. The suethor did it. I guess she really does acknowledge her mary sue's prowess…)

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "Game and match! Kiyoko won, 6-3."

Arai, sweating madly, collapsed in defeat and tiredness from the game. (I told you before dear friend, you're destined to lose. Did you ever listen to me?)

Kiyoko bow to Arai, "Thank you for the game, it was a fun match. I hope we play again sometimes." (Of course it was fun. It's because you win without even trying, and managed to show your photocopy machine skillz in front of all the hawt PoT chars…)

Arai looks irritated and look away, "Whatever!"

Kiyoko turn and bow to Ryuzaki-sensei, "Thank you for letting me play a game."

Ryuzaki-sensei said, "It was interesting to see an inexperienced person like you can play tennis very well."

Kiyoko smile and answered, "Thank you for the comment."

Then Kiyoko went to Sakuno, "Thank you for letting me use your racquet."

Sakuno shook her head, "It's no problem at all."

Then Kiyoko went out the gate and goes toward Ryoma and the regulars. Tezuka looked at his fellow teammate and nodded slightly. They all nodded back at him.

Upon her arrival, Kawamura grabbed the mary sue and did the judo flip. Then all the regulars kicked and stomped on her like a piece of trash. The mary sue writhed in agony and tried to call for help.

Ryuzaki came rushing to save the mary sue but Fuji glared at he coach wannabe and expertly fling a baseball bat that magically appear out of nowhere flying over the court fence straight to her temple, thus rendering her unconscious on the court. Then he resumed his stomping frenzy with his fellow regulars like nothing happened.

After the mary sue turned into an unrecognized puddle of gore, Kaidoh poured a bottle of petrol on it and Tezuka flicked a lighter and threw it in. The puddle of filth immediately catches fire and all the regulars threw their soiled tennis shoes in the flames while dancing around it victoriously like the Red Indians. Kawamura even yell "BURNING!" on top of his lung. Once the burned flesh was too stinky for them to bare, all the regulars scampered away in merriment.

Pinching their nose to blocked the hideous smell of burning mary sue, all the other tennis club members gathered their things and stepped away from the tennis court. Tomo chan asked Sakuno chan whether it's okay to leave her granma out cold on the court. Without turning around, Sakuno said to her friend with her soft voice;

"It's okay, She's not my granma anyway…"

The End.

Oh yesss… revenge is like ice cream. It's sweet and best served cold.