Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters from the series. They are the property of JK Rowling and the various publishing houses and movie studios.
I Shagged Bill Weasley Because the Nargles Told Me To or How Tonks Got Out of a Sticky Situation by Zoey Rowan
Not many people put much stock by the ramblings of Xenophilius Lovegood or his daughter, Luna. But Nyphadora Tonk knows the value of defending other people's beliefs; they might just get you out of a lot of trouble. In fact, she had gotten herself out of quite the situation with Bill Weasley because she pretended to follow the eccentric wizard's philosophy.
Everyone knew Molly preferred the metamorphmagus to Bill's snooty French fiancée Fleur, but somehow, Tonks didn't think the matrionly witch would take kindly to knowing Tonks had tied up precious son and covering him in jam before having her wicked way with him. However, Tonks would always maintain that the nargles made her do it. And if that wasn't necessarily true, that would always stay between Tonks and Bill.
And the Nargles, of course.