~*~Chapter One : Saying Goodbye~*~

He stood over an empty wooden cradle he had fashioned with his own two hands. His heart ached as the woman he loved labored in the next room as she give birth to their child. He'd gone for the midwife many hours ago and still the little one hadn't made it into the world. Something was wrong, something serious; he could feel the dread creeping into his bones.

"Papa," he heard a little voice say.

"I'm right here, sweetheart," he said as he approached the crib and drew his little girl into his arms. He kissed her baby-soft cheek as he caressed her curly dark hair.

"Mama?" she whispered.

Daniela, too, could sense that something was amiss. Her little face showed her agitation as she clung to her daddy's shirt. She wasn't his daughter by blood, but he couldn't have loved her more. "It's okay, Dani," Victor soothed the toddler as he placed her back into her crib. "Mama will hold you soon." He covered her with the blanket and left the nursery, the smallest room in the log cabin where they had made their home. So much had happened since they had came to live upon the hill...

Victor Dalby Lord II had been on the wagon train going west with his brother, Todd, his brother's wife, Tea, and his sister Victoria and her family. They never made it to Oregon. Victoria's husband Clint had suffered a heart attack. They stopped in a settlement called Llanview in hopes he would recover. Sadly, Clint had died four days later.

Victoria didn't want to take her children any further. Her boys, Kevin and Joseph had already lost one father. Her twins were just toddlers, and Vicki was tired of the covered wagon. She wanted to settle down, grieve for her husband, and raise her family. Tea, too, had refused to get back on the wagon. Nearly nine months pregnant, she was tired and ready to settle down.

Vicki purchased a boarding house in the heart of Llanview, and Todd and Victor pooled their funds to buy the cabin. No sooner had they moved into the little homestead on the hill when Tea went into labor. Daniela's arrival had been swift and joyous. She came into the world on a cool autumn day. Victor had been so ecstatic in that moment when he saw Daniela lying in Tea's arms.

Todd and Victor were twins, and they'd been competitive almost from the minute of their birth. Whatever one possessed, the other had always wanted. Tea was no exception. Victor had been secretly in love with her since the day Todd had introduced them. He adored Tea - would have done anything for her - but his brother didn't seem to appreciate her. In fact, Dani was only a few hours old when Todd announced he was going on a hunting trip.

Ever since they had settled in Llanview, Todd and Victor had taken up hunting, fishing, and trapping to feed their family. They had many traps set along the river, and Todd was going to check the traps and search for game in the area. "You're leaving now?" Victor asked with a dark frown. "How can you leave? Tea just had your baby."

"Ohhh Tea will be fine. She has you to look after her, right?" Todd pointed out, giving his brother a knowing look.

Victor had tried not to let his emotions show for his brother's wife, but Todd had always known. Victor was devoted to Tea in ways Todd could never be. Todd and Tea just weren't compatible, and they always disagreed. They had even disagreed on their daughter's name... and it had been Victor who had suggested Daniela. Daniela Victoria was what she had been named. Victor was secretly pleased, because he told himself she wasn't just being named after her aunt Vicki, but also him.

"Of course I will look after her," Victor growled. "Since you don't seem to care."

"Problem is, Victor, you care too much," Todd said as he got his musket ready and his provisions to go on his trip.

"I will be back in two weeks," Todd said as he headed out the door.

Months and months passed, and Todd never returned. He was presumed dead, killed by an animal or maybe the Indians. Tea was distraught when her husband never came home and she sent Victor out to look for him. "Bring my husband home," Tea said as she pressed a kiss to Victor's cheek.

"I promise, I will bring him home to you and Dani," Victor swore as he held Tea in his arms.

He lingered in her embrace, not wanting to let her go. He wanted her for himself. Little did he know he was soon to get his wish.

He questioned trappers in the area as far as Llansing, the nearby township, and he was told that his brother, Todd was found wounded awhile back by Sioux Indians. According to the old trapper Victor had questioned, Todd had survived his injuries but was now living with the Sioux.

"He took two arrows through his back," said the trapper. "When he collapsed, he hit his head on the rocks beside the river. He lost his memory."

"And you know this how?" Victor asked.

"An old Indian warrior told me."

Victor didn't know whether to believe the old trapper, because no matter where he searched, no signs of his twin brother were ever found. Sadly he had to return to Tea without Todd.

"Where's Todd?" Tea asked as her dark eyes filled up with tears.

"I'm sorry, Tea. He's dead," Victor said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"No, no. He can't be dead," Tea sobbed.

"There was some kind of accident. He took two arrows to his back... and he didn't make it."

Tea cried in his arms as Victor consoled her. "Daniela will never know her daddy," she said in a whimper.

Gently Victor kissed her tears away. "I love you... and I love Dani, too," he confessed. "And I am going to take care of you."

A couple months later, Victor and Tea had been married. The residents of Llanview had made it clear that it wasn't right for a widow to live in seclusion with an unmarried man. When Victor asked Tea to be his wife, she had been grateful. She knew he would care of her and her child and together, they could make a good life. Daniela loved Victor, and she grew up thinking that he was her daddy. Victor couldn't have been happier, until that day Tea announced that she was expecting...

Daniela had long outgrown the cradle he had made for her and now it would become the sleeping place of their new son or daughter. He was madly in love with Tea and he looked forward to the birth of their child. Tea had been sewing little garments for months and finally that happy day had arrived.

But it sadly it wasn't to be...

"I'm sorry, Mr. Lord," the midwife said as she stepped into the room. "I can't save your wife."

"What? What do you mean you can't save my wife?" Victor choked out. "Is Tea...?"

"She's bleeding heavily... and there's nothing I can do," replied Mrs. Mendalberry, the elderly midwife.

"The baby?" Victor asked with pain in his dark-blue orbs.

"It's a boy. Would you like to see him?"

The pain was so tight in his chest, he felt like he could not breathe. "I have to see Tea," he said with urgency as he rushed into the bedroom.

He knelt over her delicate form, drawing her into his arms. "Tea," he said as he pressed his face against her breast.

"Did you see him, Victor?" she asked him weakly. "Did you see our son?"

He shook his head as his tears wet his lashes. Tea was so pale; he knew she wasn't going to last. She was dying in his arms.

"You'll take care of him for me, won't you?" she begged. "You'll take care of him and Daniela?"

"Tea, I can't lose you."

"Victor, I need you to promise me..." she pleaded.

"I will protect them with my life," he swore. "But I refuse to let you go..."

"I love you," she whispered as she faded in and out of consciousness. She went slack in his arms as she took her last few breaths. His beautiful wife was dead.

"Tea... Tea," he sobbed. "I love you...I love you so much."

He held her until she went cold, then he lay her back against the pillows. She looked so peaceful, as if she was only sleeping. But he knew she wasn't sleeping; she'd never wake up.

With a huge lump in his throat, he searched the room for the baby. He found the tiny infant lying on a makeshift bed near the fireplace. The moment he lifted the child in his arms, his eyes came open.

He stared down into the eyes that were identical to his own. Tears washed down his cheeks because he had lost Tea and he had no idea how he was going to care for a hungry infant and toddler. Life was very unfair and he feared that God was making him suffer for that lie he had told about his brother.

"I am afraid I cannot keep you," he muttered as he bundled up the baby.

He wrapped the baby in swaddling and lay him in down in the cradle. He reached for the shovel as he prepared to bury his wife.

He lay her in a grave underneath the mighty oak behind the cabin. The earth was tender from an earlier rain as he shoveled dirt upon her grave. "Good bye, Tea," he spoke as he remembered his promises to her, to care for Dani and the baby. He would do what he had to do.

He returned to the cabin and was met by Mrs. Mendalberry. "What are you doing?" she asked when she saw him pick up the infant.

Victor tucked the baby in his coat to keep him warm. "I am taking him into town and I am giving him away," Victor stated.

"Why? You could get a cow. You could have milk for him."

"It isn't enough. A baby needs his mother," Victor said with a clenched jaw. "He wouldn't survive. I don't even know how I can care for Daniela."

"You can't give him up."

"I will. He will grow up never knowing I am his father."

As he stepped out of the cabin, he tried to turn off his feelings for the infant cuddled against his chest. He mounted his horse and headed down the hill toward the settlement. He had made a promise to Tea... and he intended to keep it - even if it meant saying good bye to his infant son.