Voices

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[MuffinClan Challenge]

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•PikaBolt101•

I don't know how, or why. But ever since I was born, they were there.

Them. Those voices.

Who are they? I'm not sure. They cut and scrape through my very soul, they jut into my heart like jagged shards of ice, they echo through my mind and body like a possessive demon. And every time I shut my eyes, those burning, slitted red eyes would appear.

Those voices.

It was sneaking out at first. Sneaking out under the moon and stars, sneaking out while the chilling wind blew and sneaking out of the den while dark clouds hid the clear sky.

No harm done… right?

The world was so dark. Almost pitch-black without the reflected, dim light of the moon guiding my paws. But I felt at home.

I soon realized what others called dark, evil, spooky… I called it cozy, comforting, relaxing. I felt changed. I felt like I belonged in the darkness, the first time I'd ever felt like I was really, truly at home.

And there was nothing wrong with that.

With blood on my whiskers and fangs and the dark crimson liquid coating my jaws, I stepped silently out of the gnarled, dead trees. Fire would burn in my eyes. Dark fire, golden fire, it would all burn the same.

Burn in revenge.

I realized that I killed more cats than it was worth. I realized the scarlet substance that covered my once shining claws had already found it's way into my body. I realized the shadowed feeling in my heart took over my bones and the demon in my soul possessed my very being. I felt so comfortable, so… alive, with my fangs ripping the others' throat out, my claws piercing into their flesh and tearing their spirit apart as well as their physical body.

One day I asked myself: what was I doing?

Wait. No. No, not me.

They were guiding me.

So that makes me innocent, doesn't it?

I tried to run away. I bolted through the forest, my bloodstained, torn pelt ripping away slowly as the jutting branches teared me apart, both inside and outside. But I knew what was really tearing myself away inside… was only me.

Rain fell. It was dark, and the cold, frozen ground was hard and made my paws sore. The rain stung my pelt and worked its way into my flesh like shards.

It hurt. But not as much as I'd hurt myself.

Kill them. Kill them all and you alone would have power over everything.

No. I wouldn't listen to you anymore.

You don't have a choice.

I remember your very words. Every word you ever said to me. They weren't just passing, fading echoes anymore. They were carved into my soul and they took over.

Once.

I felt myself vanishing as I continued to run. Dissolving into nothing. Like the nothing I am.

Nothing is perfect, my child.

I couldn't block the voices. So I tried to escape from them. By dying. By suiciding. By killing myself as I felt my bones snap and the rock hit my throat.

Yet they were still there.

One day in my past, I had asked: who are you?

The answer came to me to realize after few lifetimes.

Myself.