A/N: Okay, I'm just going to say that I have no idea where this came from. I just rather wanted to write a one shot, and I was talking about Alice in Wonderland with Karina. This is what popped into my head. Hope you all like it. Cheshire cat will be human in this fic with ears and a tail.

This is a Heart no Kuni No Alice fic... but there's not a section for that here on FF.n, so i'll just put it in Alice in Underland.

Blood: The Hatter

Boris: Cheshire cat

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.

WARNING: Contains pretty much an INSANE lemon. No pun intended... wait, yeah it was. ^_^

Missing Guest

Blood was simply bored with everything at the tea party that he had thrown. Sure, everyone else was having fun, but the absence of Boris just made it dull for him. He had snuck off to have a pleasant walk in the woods, only he didn't know hoe pleasant of a time he was about to have.

In his wonderings, he managed to happen upon the only person (excluding himself) not at his tea party. Hatter watched curiously as Boris spun around in the grass next to a small pond, Horseflies flying all around him. His attire didn't surprise Blood. A short vest that showed off about six inches of his abdomen and a black pelted skirt that covered some tights. He was surprised, however, that Boris wasn't wearing his pink and purple boa that he normally had draped over his shoulders.

"Boris, what are you doing?" Blood asked, walking up to the spinning cat.

"Playing with horseflies, what does it look like?" Boris replied, looking at Blood with a smile.

"Shouldn't you be at the party?" Blood asked, crossing his arms.

"Shouldn't you? Tisk tisk tisk... A host is not supposed to leave his party." Boris said with a playful wink. He pointed a finger out at a horsefly, which landed on his finger and started to rock back and forth. Boris' tail wiggled in time with the horses rocking, causing his skirt to rise slightly.

"It was boring, so I left. I hate to be bored, you know that." Blood said as he walked over to Boris, flicking the horsefly off his finger.

"That wasn't very nice Blood. I think you killed the poor thing." Boris said with a smirk, kneeling down to check on the creature. "Yes, you defiantly killed it." He giggled out as he flicked it into the water.

"That's too bad, but these things happen. What are you doing here anyway?" Blood asked, wondering why Boris was still kneeling on the ground.

"Well, I kind of needed some alone time. There's something that's been bothering me lately." Boris admitted, watching a fish, which seemed much too large for the little pool of water, swallowed the horsefly's body, which was floating on the surface of the water whole.

"Something on your mind? Like what?" Blood asked, flicking another horsefly out of the air and into the pond.

"I can't tell you, or it would be on your mind and not mine." Boris giggled out, flopping backwards onto the ground.

"Then don't say something's on your mind. And please dress like a man, that skirt doesn't suit you." Blood scolded, crossing his arms as he stared down at Boris.

"You know something?" Boris asked, sitting up.

"I know lots of things, but what were you referring to?" Blood asked in mock annoyance.

"I think getting scolded excites me." Boris smiled up at Blood, who literally fell down in shock.

"Wow, you are really talented. Falling down while standing is hard to do." Boris giggled out, patting Blood on the head.

"I fell down because you said getting scolded excited you." Blood grumbled, getting back up.

"But it does! Just look at this." Boris exclaimed, pointing at the fresh tent that had appeared in his skirt. Blood stared for a moment, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe his nose.

"That's nice, Boris. You should do something about that." Blood said as he closed his eyes to try to get the image out of his head.

"If you say so." Boris sung out. Blood wasn't sure what Boris was going to do, but figured he's just jump in the pond. Oh how wrong he was. After a few moments of silence, he heard a soft moaning sound. His eyes shot open to find that Boris had removed the tights, and was not... fondling himself.

"B-Boris, what do you think you're doing?" Blood sputtered out, his pants starting to grow uncomfortable.

"I'm just doing what you told me to do." Boris said, pouting slightly. Blood couldn't believe what was going on. Here was his friend, jacking off in front of him, and it excited him.

"But-I-I didn't mean in front of me!" Blood sputtered out again, trying to hide the fact that he was excited.

"You could always leave." Boris pointed out. That was right, he could leave... or could he? His body wouldn't respond to him leaving... but it did respond to him jumping the cat.

"Or you could jump me. Oh look, you're excited too." Boris giggled out as Blood pinned him to the ground.

"It's your fault. How about we help each other with our problems?" Blood asked, biting down softly on Boris' ear, pulling a moan from him.

"It won't work very well with your pants on, Blood." Boris moaned out. Blood took the hint and quickly undressed himself as Boris removed his vest.

"Shall we...?" Boris asked, leaning up on his elbows. Blood pounced again, brushing their erections together. Blood grunted as Boris moaned out, causing Blood to grow even harder (if that were possible).

Blood started to nip at Boris' neck, pulling more moans from the cat. Boris arched his back as Blood slowly nipped and kissed his way his chest. Blood took one of the perk nipples into his mouth, while gently pinching the other.

"It's not nice to tease..." Boris whimpered out, tossing his head back.

"I think it's better to tease first..." Blood said in a husky voice, sending Boris a twisted smirk.

Something ticked in Boris' head, a wicked grin covering his face. If Blood was allowed to tease him, then he could tease back. The Cheshire slowly lifted his tail so that it brushed against Blood's scrotum, making the Hatter moan out and bite down on Boris' chest. Boris laughed out at his reaction.

"You said it was better to tease first..." Boris said in mock innocence. Blood glared at him before he sat up slightly, and abruptly thrust into Boris. The cat yelled out in shock, his member twitching at the sheer pleasure the pain brought.

"B-Blood..." Boris moaned, gripping onto the man's hair. Blood smirked down at him before he pulled out slowly, then thrusting harshly back in. White flashed across Boris' vision. Everything that Blood was doing hurt... but at the same time, it felt so good.

"Blood... harder... please..." The Cheshire moaned out, curling his toes and digging his fingernails into Blood's arms.

"As you wish..." Blood purred out, pulling Boris up and sitting up, so that he could use the Cheshire's weight to add to his thrusts.

"Woh-" Boris yelled out, feeling Blood brush against something inside of him, sending waves of pain and pleasure through his body. He felt himself close to release... if Blood hit that spot one more time, he was going to...

"Blood!" Boris screamed out as he exploded onto the Hatter's stomach. Blood groaned out, as Boris grew unbearably tight. He came after a few more thrusts, sighing and falling backwards while still inside of the Cheshire. He forgot there was a pond behind them though. The two fell into the water, Boris laughing hysterically.

A/N: Okay, that's enough of that. Hope you liked this crack fic. ^_^

Karina: *Dead*