Stupid Walking Clay
By: Margaret Granado
Genre: Humor
Author's Notes: Uh... I wouldn't read this if you like Kikyo... there is
quite a bit of bashing involved in this.
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, I no own, so you no sue.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ "Inuyasha... do you care more about that... that GIRL than you do me?" Kikyo questioned, wrapping her arms seductively around Inuyasha's neck.
"Well duh! She isn't a walking sack of mud!" Inuyasha pulled away, "Which is more than you can say."
Shippo knocked on her head, hearing the hollow sound, "Cool..."
He began beating on it like a drum, aggravating Kikyo, "Get off me!"
She threw him off her head and he frowned, "Sheesh, someone got up on the wrong side of the dirt pile today..."
"Dumb-ass demon..." Kikyo mumbled.
"Hey, don't make fun of the little kitsune you bongo!" Inuyasha gave her a good whack in the head and heard a cracking noise.
Miroku looked at the dent the hanyou had created, "Eh... oops..."
"What do you mean OOPS????" Kikyo flung around and shot an arrow at Inuyasha, pinning him to a tree, though he quickly got free.
He smirked, "Oh yeah, now I'm scared... oh Kikyo, please don't kill me..."
Kikyo shot another arrow at him, but missed. He laughed, "Looks like you're loosing your touch mud-sack."
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!! I'm REAL!!" Kikyo screamed.
Kagome fell over laughing, "Ha... you real? Yeah right you poor excuse for play-dough! In your dreams!"
Kikyo clenched her teeth, "Inuyasha, why do you treat me so...?"
"Cuz you're mud."
Kikyo moaned and then yelled, "I AM NOT MUD!!!!!"
Sango crossed her arms, "Then what ARE you, huh Kikyo? We all know you're not human..."
"Uh, well... I don't know... but the fact is that I'm not mud!"
"Oh, that's right! How could I have been so mistaken... why, you're not mud," Sango apologized.
"That's better-"
"You're clay!" Inuyasha finished for Sango.
"That's it Inuyasha! Prepare to die!" Kikyo spat with venom in her voice. She raised her bow and arrow and aimed at him.
He held his hands in front of himself and said sarcastically, "Oh no... please don't hurt me Kikyo."
Kagome filed her nails, then tossed the nail file at Kikyo and said emotionlessly, "Yeah, don't hurt him, I won't let you... don't worry. I'll protect you Inuyasha..."
"Are you mocking me?" Kikyo questioned bitterly.
"No, I am you... only I'm - get this - I'm ALIVE! Crazy, am I right?" Kagome smirked.
Kikyo sent one of her demon snatchers after Kagome, but Shippo turned into the pink balloon thing and scared it off. He threw the spinning top at Kikyo and it cracked her arm, "You stupid little fox!"
Miroku chuckled, "Well done little Shippo."
Shippo smiled proudly and then jumped onto Kagome's shoulder. Inuyasha smirked at Kikyo, "So... what do you think? Are you ready to admit that you're clay, er, mud or whatever it is you are?"
Kikyo frowned, "I'm not mud or clay or dirt! Leave me in peace!"
"You're the one who started bothering us," Miroku reminded.
Kikyo approached Miroku, but Sango threw her boomerang at her, cracking her legs off, "Stupid demon exterminator!"
"I wanna play some more!" Shippo said, throwing all his toys at her, chipping her face.
"This isn't fair! There's five of you against ONE of me!" Kikyo yelled.
"Okay, I say we let Kagome fight you then," Inuyasha suggested.
"Why me?" Kagome questioned curiously, "Don't YOU want a piece of the action, Inuyasha?"
He shook his head, "It should be interesting..."
"Okay," Kagome smiled and turned to Kikyo (who was balancing on the cracked legs).
"You'll never win you stupid reincarnatio-"
STOMP!
Kagome dusted off her hands and looked down at the pile of broken clay underneath her feet, "You were saying... come on Kikyo. If you're so strong, come back and fight me."
The clay came together to for a brand new form - a clay pot, "Stupid reincarnation! Look at what I'm reduced to! And it's all because of you!"
"Oh, put a sock in it!" Kagome frowned and kicked the clay pot across the forest bringing a cheer from the group.
"Kagome! You did it!" Shippo cheered, and jumped into her arms.
"Well it wasn't very hard... it was just clay... just some stupid walking clay..."
END
Was it funny? Did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Tell me! Please review! E- mail at YamaClarinet@aol.com
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ "Inuyasha... do you care more about that... that GIRL than you do me?" Kikyo questioned, wrapping her arms seductively around Inuyasha's neck.
"Well duh! She isn't a walking sack of mud!" Inuyasha pulled away, "Which is more than you can say."
Shippo knocked on her head, hearing the hollow sound, "Cool..."
He began beating on it like a drum, aggravating Kikyo, "Get off me!"
She threw him off her head and he frowned, "Sheesh, someone got up on the wrong side of the dirt pile today..."
"Dumb-ass demon..." Kikyo mumbled.
"Hey, don't make fun of the little kitsune you bongo!" Inuyasha gave her a good whack in the head and heard a cracking noise.
Miroku looked at the dent the hanyou had created, "Eh... oops..."
"What do you mean OOPS????" Kikyo flung around and shot an arrow at Inuyasha, pinning him to a tree, though he quickly got free.
He smirked, "Oh yeah, now I'm scared... oh Kikyo, please don't kill me..."
Kikyo shot another arrow at him, but missed. He laughed, "Looks like you're loosing your touch mud-sack."
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!! I'm REAL!!" Kikyo screamed.
Kagome fell over laughing, "Ha... you real? Yeah right you poor excuse for play-dough! In your dreams!"
Kikyo clenched her teeth, "Inuyasha, why do you treat me so...?"
"Cuz you're mud."
Kikyo moaned and then yelled, "I AM NOT MUD!!!!!"
Sango crossed her arms, "Then what ARE you, huh Kikyo? We all know you're not human..."
"Uh, well... I don't know... but the fact is that I'm not mud!"
"Oh, that's right! How could I have been so mistaken... why, you're not mud," Sango apologized.
"That's better-"
"You're clay!" Inuyasha finished for Sango.
"That's it Inuyasha! Prepare to die!" Kikyo spat with venom in her voice. She raised her bow and arrow and aimed at him.
He held his hands in front of himself and said sarcastically, "Oh no... please don't hurt me Kikyo."
Kagome filed her nails, then tossed the nail file at Kikyo and said emotionlessly, "Yeah, don't hurt him, I won't let you... don't worry. I'll protect you Inuyasha..."
"Are you mocking me?" Kikyo questioned bitterly.
"No, I am you... only I'm - get this - I'm ALIVE! Crazy, am I right?" Kagome smirked.
Kikyo sent one of her demon snatchers after Kagome, but Shippo turned into the pink balloon thing and scared it off. He threw the spinning top at Kikyo and it cracked her arm, "You stupid little fox!"
Miroku chuckled, "Well done little Shippo."
Shippo smiled proudly and then jumped onto Kagome's shoulder. Inuyasha smirked at Kikyo, "So... what do you think? Are you ready to admit that you're clay, er, mud or whatever it is you are?"
Kikyo frowned, "I'm not mud or clay or dirt! Leave me in peace!"
"You're the one who started bothering us," Miroku reminded.
Kikyo approached Miroku, but Sango threw her boomerang at her, cracking her legs off, "Stupid demon exterminator!"
"I wanna play some more!" Shippo said, throwing all his toys at her, chipping her face.
"This isn't fair! There's five of you against ONE of me!" Kikyo yelled.
"Okay, I say we let Kagome fight you then," Inuyasha suggested.
"Why me?" Kagome questioned curiously, "Don't YOU want a piece of the action, Inuyasha?"
He shook his head, "It should be interesting..."
"Okay," Kagome smiled and turned to Kikyo (who was balancing on the cracked legs).
"You'll never win you stupid reincarnatio-"
STOMP!
Kagome dusted off her hands and looked down at the pile of broken clay underneath her feet, "You were saying... come on Kikyo. If you're so strong, come back and fight me."
The clay came together to for a brand new form - a clay pot, "Stupid reincarnation! Look at what I'm reduced to! And it's all because of you!"
"Oh, put a sock in it!" Kagome frowned and kicked the clay pot across the forest bringing a cheer from the group.
"Kagome! You did it!" Shippo cheered, and jumped into her arms.
"Well it wasn't very hard... it was just clay... just some stupid walking clay..."
END
Was it funny? Did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Tell me! Please review! E- mail at YamaClarinet@aol.com