It doesn't take much to make me cry these days... so much to do.. so little energy. I should be on cloud nine.
Rick's been telling me to take a break, spend a lazy afternoon somewhere reading a book. I wave my SDF manual at him and ask for a little peace.
He shrugs his shoulders as he leaves, mumbling under his breath that I get more cranky everyday.
I guess he just doesn't understand.
It takes a few minutes, but I realize that there's just no way that I can concentrate today. No sense in trying to do what is just impossible.
Quietly, I gather my papers into neat piles and make my desk a bit more presentable before I slip out the back door.
I walk through the garden and toward the gate, my hands mindlessly pulling on stem and stalk... gathering my sad little bouquet.
It takes little effort to find the way. The path is etched into my heart and my mind. Finding that all too quickly I am standing at the foot of the monument of my salvation, I find that my thoughts are confused and a tempest of unshed tears.
"I'm sorry." The whisper slips past my lips... and wings away on the silvery breeze that moves past me.
"I should have gone with you."
There is no answer save the age-old groan of metal as the moldering hulk sinks ever deeper into its resting place.
"I'm going soon... heading out..." I look up toward the sky, "to the stars... beyond the reaches of our imagination." Staring blindly at what would have been my resting place, I find my voice bottled up inside my throat.
"To another day... toward our future." Ricks voice is soft and tentative behind me.
"How did you know I'd be here?"
"I didn't," he answers. "I just put on my coat and started to walk."
"Coat..." I realize that I've left mine at home and know, before I feel it, that Rick is about to drape his coat over my shoulders.
He drapes his arm around my waist and pulls me close.
"You don't need to be alone." His voice brings more tears to my eyes.
"I'm never alone, here."
Reaching out, he takes the flowers from my hand and bends to smell the delicate fragrance. Leaning closer to the railing he casts the flowers toward the monument and we both watch as they float toward the ground.
I lean against him and kiss the line of his jaw, "I just had to say goodbye... again."
He returns the kiss, brushing his lips against mine, drawing out a sigh from my heart. "You're not alone..."
"I know.."
"I'm always here."
"I know..."
"Then what is it?"
I consider telling him... my doubts about the future... about the mission... but I find that I can' begin to tell him.. not now. "Nothing, really... let's just go home."
He holds me back, turning me so that he can look me straight in the eye. "When you want to talk, I'll be here."
The words fight within my mind, struggling to get out. Instead I simply say, "I love you, Rick."
He smiles and pulls me into his arms as the clouds gather overhead, "I love you too, Lisa."
Above us, ever sentinel, the SDF-1 stands... a memorial.
Rick's been telling me to take a break, spend a lazy afternoon somewhere reading a book. I wave my SDF manual at him and ask for a little peace.
He shrugs his shoulders as he leaves, mumbling under his breath that I get more cranky everyday.
I guess he just doesn't understand.
It takes a few minutes, but I realize that there's just no way that I can concentrate today. No sense in trying to do what is just impossible.
Quietly, I gather my papers into neat piles and make my desk a bit more presentable before I slip out the back door.
I walk through the garden and toward the gate, my hands mindlessly pulling on stem and stalk... gathering my sad little bouquet.
It takes little effort to find the way. The path is etched into my heart and my mind. Finding that all too quickly I am standing at the foot of the monument of my salvation, I find that my thoughts are confused and a tempest of unshed tears.
"I'm sorry." The whisper slips past my lips... and wings away on the silvery breeze that moves past me.
"I should have gone with you."
There is no answer save the age-old groan of metal as the moldering hulk sinks ever deeper into its resting place.
"I'm going soon... heading out..." I look up toward the sky, "to the stars... beyond the reaches of our imagination." Staring blindly at what would have been my resting place, I find my voice bottled up inside my throat.
"To another day... toward our future." Ricks voice is soft and tentative behind me.
"How did you know I'd be here?"
"I didn't," he answers. "I just put on my coat and started to walk."
"Coat..." I realize that I've left mine at home and know, before I feel it, that Rick is about to drape his coat over my shoulders.
He drapes his arm around my waist and pulls me close.
"You don't need to be alone." His voice brings more tears to my eyes.
"I'm never alone, here."
Reaching out, he takes the flowers from my hand and bends to smell the delicate fragrance. Leaning closer to the railing he casts the flowers toward the monument and we both watch as they float toward the ground.
I lean against him and kiss the line of his jaw, "I just had to say goodbye... again."
He returns the kiss, brushing his lips against mine, drawing out a sigh from my heart. "You're not alone..."
"I know.."
"I'm always here."
"I know..."
"Then what is it?"
I consider telling him... my doubts about the future... about the mission... but I find that I can' begin to tell him.. not now. "Nothing, really... let's just go home."
He holds me back, turning me so that he can look me straight in the eye. "When you want to talk, I'll be here."
The words fight within my mind, struggling to get out. Instead I simply say, "I love you, Rick."
He smiles and pulls me into his arms as the clouds gather overhead, "I love you too, Lisa."
Above us, ever sentinel, the SDF-1 stands... a memorial.