My first Chuck fanfiction and the first time I've stepped out of bandom in a long time.
Title is from a song by Avenged Sevenfold (Seize The Day).
Set during 2x13. Chuck Vs. The Best Friend.
*****
Major John Casey had witnessed his fair share of explosions, had caused a fair few in his time. He'd seen innocent people blown apart, lost a lover (or so he thought), been a part of the destruction. But in the twenty-odd years he'd been involved with this, never had the sight of the flames, the thick black smoke and the shrapnel broken his heart.
Ilsa hurt. He won't deny that (not anymore). But this? This is agony.
As the small car drove forward to certain doom, the bomb sat comfortably in the passenger seat, Walker had asked him about the nerd. Casey could barely respond, his voice wavering as the answer left his lips.
The final seconds of the countdown felt like eternity repeating itself. Get out of the car, Chuck, get out of the car…, the only thing running through Casey's mind as the train slid across behind the herder.
As the flames went up, the NSA agent could have sworn his heart stopped. Blue eyes wide with fear, his whole body paralysed as the scene unfolded. The sounds around him became muffled, the world around him darkened, nothing save for himself and the flames felt or appeared remotely real.
He wonders if the nerd is seeing his life flash before his eyes, if he's wishing he'd had more time with everyone. Ellie, Morgan, Sarah. John tries not to wonder if he's in the younger mans thoughts, if their single kiss is playing as heavily on Chuck's mind right now as it is his. He can't help but wonder if the intersect is also wondering what if?
John stares on in horror, no words coming from him, no tears, no outward signs of the inner torment he's feeling right now as the debris falls about the blast. It's almost like one of the games Chuck loved so much. He can just hear the nerd's reaction to the blast in his head.
That was pretty sweet, huh?
It's so real, so loud. John almost worries that he's internalized the younger man for a moment before he hears the voice again.
"What?"
Casey turns, almost afraid of seeing nothing there. If his mind is playing tricks on him, it's playing tricks on Walker as well, she stands staring at the same spot as he does. The kid is there, tie half undone, hair mussed, a look of total confusion on his face, the remote in his hands.
"Did you think that I was…?" He starts, sentences left unfinished, "No, I was just using the…"
John could slap him. He could punch him. He could kiss him and tell him to never do anything so goddamn stupid and idiotic ever again but he knows it'd never sink into the younger mans head. In a matter of days he'll be telling Chuck to stay in the car again, only to be caught saving his ass moments later.
Again.
Instead, he settles for snatching back the remote.