This is my first Eclare fic so please be BRUTAL. I want to know what I did right, wrong, and indifferent. Reviews are IMMENSELY appreciated. Without further ado, here's chapter Uno

Jake touched my hair and made me smile before he kissed me. Softly and quickly, then he pulled back, allowing me to have room to say if I didn't like it. When I said nothing and even went the extra mile to incline my lips closer to his, he complied and kissed me deeper, more hungrily. I liked it. A lot. It was simple and fun. But still, when I closed my eyes, I pictured Eli's mouth on mine. His hands on the small of my back. When Jake pulled back, I grinned and said lightly, "That was nice."

Jake smiled back at me, "So I'll see you around Degrassi?"

"Definitely." I walked up to my door step, glancing over my shoulder a last time to catch him staring at me. I smirked and went inside, not even acknowledging my mom as I ran up to my room. The kiss had been great and it made me feel good. So why did I now feel like shit? I thought about the scene I made at Above the Dot earlier. How could I have humiliated Eli like that? I was angry and upset, but it didn't justify what an absolute ass I had been.

But Eli had said absolutely nothing. And that had hurt beyond belief. I missed him. I didn't know why I couldn't admit that to myself until now. I traced my pointer finger across my bottom lip, still feeling Jake on them. Wishing I could remember how Eli felt on them.

The next day

"He kissed you? Just like that!" Ali fluttered her long, thick lashes as we walked the halls of Degrassi.

"Just like that." I said numbly.

Ali furrowed her eyebrows, "Clare, how are you not radiating at the seams from this?"

I looked down and shrugged, "Somehow I thought I'd be over Eli by now but . . ." Ali stopped me.

"I thought you were over Doctor Doom." Ali sighed, using Bianca's nickname for Eli.

I shook my head, "Obviously not." I looked over and saw Eli struggling with some books, trying to stack them in his locker while teetering on his broken leg. Ali grabbed my arm.

"Don't. Clare, we've been over this."

"I just want to say I'm sorry." I said, walking off towards Eli. He saw me and simply said, "Hi." with no emotion what so ever in his eyes. "Hi." I smiled tentatively. "I'm . . . really sorry about what I did at Above the Dot yesterday. It was childish and I feel really stupid. You don't have feelings for me anymore and I'm sorry I was so self indulged I never considered your feelings."

Eli shrugged, "I don't have any feelings."

I laughed nervously, "What?"

Eli shut his locker and nodded. "Pills. Prescribed by my therapist to stop anxiety and really any other emotion."

I felt tears well up behind my eyes, "That sounds terrible . . . I-I didn't know . . ."

Eli smiled lightly, "Well now you do. See you around, Clare." He wobbled off. I didn't realize I was still standing until the warning bell rang and Ali ran up to get me. I felt drained and empty. I cared about this way more than I should. But that was just because I cared about him way more than I should. Because I still loved Eli.

Please, tell me what you think! Review greatly appreciated, Mwah!