(A/N: well people welcome to my first ever crack fic "Donald Trump Must Die!" Mistress Of Fire had suggested that I try writing something that involves Donald Trump getting killed in SNK, so here if this weirds you out then blame her! X-D lol jk jk! Seriously though Mistress! Thanks for giving me this idea!

Warning:so much OOCness it's not even funny

Disclaimer:I do not own SNK/AOT)

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It was another peaceful day at headquarters and since everyone had the week off from missions, they just sat around outside enjoying each other's company. Eren was repeatedly punching a torn up Titan plushie hanging on a tree, Mikasa was with Jean somewhere and Armin was busy brushing his hair with his manly glittery pink hair brush for the 15th time that day while reading a COVERGIRL magazine

"OMG GUYS GUESS WHAT!? GUESS WHAT!?" Connie yelled running over to Eren and Armin. "What?" Armin asked looking up from his fashion magazine."Donald Trump poisoned Historia and made himself king of the walls!" Connie replied."ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?" Eren retorted. "How'd that ass hole even get into our world!? He's not even an anime character!"

"I shit you not" Connie said."Historia's been at home all day puking her guts out more than an anorexic chick" he said. "Oh my gosh!" Armin said dropping his magazine. "I know! it's terrible!" Connie replied. "Ummmm LIKE,YEAH IT'S TERRIBLE! THAT BITCH IS GETTING TOTES SKINNIER WHILE I'M GETTING FATTER!" the little coconut whined in a valley girl tone.

"Ugh Armin calm your man Tits.." Eren groaned." NO! no I will NOT CALM MY MAN TITS!" Armin shrieked."NOW I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIT MY FAT ASS INTO MY NEW PINK BIKINI WHEN I FINALLY GO TO THE OCEAN!" he cried with mascara dripping down his face."wait..you have a bikini?" Connie asked sweatdropping. "Why?"

"Like, to show off my hot shota-licious body ofcource!" Armin smiled holding up a tiny pink string bikini. "Isn't it adorbs!?" He asked. Eren and Connie both paled at the bikini. "okay you know what? let's just go kill Donald Trump before I puke" Eren said."ayyyeeee we bout to go whoop some ass!" Connie said putting on his 3DMG. "I'm coming too!" Armin agreed getting up and grabbing his swords.

The three boys then made their way over to the horse stables to look for some spare horses to sneak out with."there must be some horses in here somewhere" Eren mumbled looking around. "Hey! I think I hear one over here!" Armin said pointing a pink polished nail over to a large barrel of hay."neighhh!~" They heard the horse say.

"Come here Mister Horsey!" Àrmin smiled scurrying over near the giant bale of hay. He paled and shrieked however, when he was finally close enough to see what was really behind it."EEEEEEEKKKKKKK! MY EYES~! MY FABULOUS BLUE EYES!" he screamed running back over to Connie and Eren."yo man what's your problem?" Connie asked.

"JEAN AND MIKASA ARE OVER THERE FUCKING EACHOTHER THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG!" Armin said throwing a hissy fit. "OMFG MIKASA! JEAN! WHAT THE HELL?" Eren and Jean poked their heads out from behind the barrel of hay blushing."er..hi guys" Mikasa said blushing and covering her lady bits in shame."get the fuck out Jeager! Can't you see I'm trying to bone your hot sister here!?" Jean snapped.

"Fuck up Horse shit!" Eren snapped." The only reason we're in here Is because we needed one of your brethren for a ride!" Mikasa looked up at her adoptive sibling in interest now."you guys need a horse? Why?" She asked."so we can like totally kill go Donald Trump ofcource!" Armin explained. "Donald Trump? You mean that asshole who's running for president in the real world? How the hell did he even get in our anime!?" Jean asked zipping his trousers back up.

"We're not sure" Connie responded."all we know is that he gave Historia major food poisoning and took her place as ruler" he explained. "That's just wrong" Jean said. "Sorry guys but Erwin, Levi and Hanji took the last of them not too long ago" Mikasa explained."well that's just great!" Eren growled in exasperation."now how are we going to get there!?"

A light bulb then appeared over Armin's head as if remembering something. "OMG! OMG! Ohhh emmm Geeeeee!" Armin said squealing in delight like a cheerleader."what the fuck Armin!?" Eren asked. "I know how we can get there!~3" Armin replies dragging the other two boys out of the stables. Once they were outside, Connie and Eren were dragged near a large contraption covered by a giant white tarp underneath some trees.

"Annnnd this is?" Connie asked raising an eyebrow. Armin eagerly ripped the tarp off revealing a shiny hot pink Jeep. "Ta-Da!" Armin smiled sitting on the hood. "Like it?" Eren and Connie's eyes widened in surprise. "Hold up is that Panty and Stocking's car!?" Connie asked taking another good look at it. "Yup!" Armin proudly declared.

"How the heck did you even get it!?" Eren wondered."it's a long story" Armin shrugged. "Please don't tell us you had a threesome with them" Eren stated. Armin's face burned an incriminating shade of red at this."oh my God did you really!?" Connie asked."n-no..." Armin replied turning redder and quickly looking away now."OH MY GOD HE DID!" Eren exclaimed breaking out into a fit of snickers now.

"Oh just shut up and get in the car" Armin retorted. Eren and Connie grabbed their weapons and did as they were told."dayum! and which sexy angel owned these?" Connie blushed picking up and sniffing pair of sexy pink panties in the backseat. "Oops! Uh.. actually those are mine" Armin replied smiling sheepishly.

Eren howled with laughter as Connie paled, dropped the underwear and started throwing up in a nearby bush."Armin! You need Jesus!" Connie groaned popping in a breath mint once he got done vomiting his breakfast. Armin then slipped on some hot pink pleather driving gloves and tied a matching hot pink ascot around his neck. "Ready bitches?" He asked smirking and revving up the engine.

"Yup!" Connie and Eren replied."alrighty then! Off we go!" And with that Armin,Eren and Connie quickly sped off to the direction of Historia's castle.

"Man what a couple of idiots!" Jean said watching them leave."yes, but they're my idiots.." Mikasa sighed sweatdropping.

(A/N: well that was chapter 1! Look out for chapter 2)