Dees Death.

This is my imaging of how Lee would of coped with Dee's suicide.

Despair, was all that was on Lee's mind, he was empty inside. He couldn't think why Dee would do such a thing to herself. Why he pondered, all he knew at the time was things got very tough for them on board the galactica, and he didn't think it would throw someone over the edge in this fashion.

But to Dee, this Earth was supposed to be a paradise, to her people it represented a safe haven and a place of comfort. Everybody felt that way about this planet and it was awful to find such a barren wasteland. It crippled everyones spirits, and in the end nobody felt like thinking about what had happened. Although Dee's death took it's toll on most of his closer friends, especially Sam. They were all family and they had all seen this hell together, without her they felt lost. Lee it affected the most, because all he did was bury himself knee deep in his work. There wasn't much satisfaction in doing that ethier, all the effort he had put into collabrating with the Cylons was in vain infact he sometimes blamed himself because he thought that was what pushed her over the edge. The fact that he also quit the miltary bugged him endlessly because he could not be there for his friends most of the time. Looked away in his office looking at endless paper work and looking at it was rather tedious in such a emotional time for him.

He sighed, and he looked around his office, a few tears in his eyes going down his face. Lee was struggling and for once he couldn't take it. First Starbuck coming back from the dead and Dee shooting herself, it killed him inside, he felt truly alone. He needed to go and confide in somebody. Standing up he grabbed hold of a cup and smashed it with great force onto the floor, he announced to his security that he would need sometime alone to think things out. The guard merely nodded. He left his office and headed too the most famliar place he could think of. The Galactica. So he dragged himself, towards the bar were he felt happy because he spent a lot of time there mostly with dee.

He looked around at all of the people in this bar, drowning in there sorrows. At least he didn't feel alone. He saw Kara sitting at a barstool alone and minding her own and he thought well I have to talk to someone. I have to get this out he thought. He decided to buy himself a bottle of something, gin or whatever and he sat down next to her. Kara looked at him with disdain, as almost as if she knew what he was going through, he looked towards the bottle of gin and stared at it and rubbed his eyes, Lee looked very tired. Who could blame him he had a lot on his mind, he stiffly opened up the bottle and poured himself a hefty glass, he knocked it back.

He looked at Kara, and she looked back at him. As almost if she was searching his soul, his eyes looked tearful and he looked very pale like he hadn't slept most of the night after the announcement. Kara spoke up to him pouring a glass.

Kara- Too old friends *knocking back gin*

Lee- She was more than a friend too me. I miss her okay.

Kara- I know Lee, I know *placing her hand on his shoulder* you must understand telling me about this. I can't change what has happened. I'm really sorry I mean, I can't understand...

Lee- It's not your fault, your not too blame. You tried she knew that it's just that the whole world as gone to shit right now and I don't know if I can take this. *knocking back another glass of gin*

Kara- *still holding his shoulder* You should talk too your dad about this Lee, he can help you more with this. But I can only say that it's true she did think that way, but I can't help but feel some gulit about this.

Lee- Yeah I know *frowning* I should probably see the old man sometime *drinking another glass* But, I don't think I'll talk to him until after the funeral

Kara- Okay Lee if it's what you want

Lee- Yes it's what I want.

Lee got up from his barstool and turned and looked at kara, he hugged her. He can't be mad for what she did. She missed her too, it was evident in her eyes, and Dee was a friend of hers to and a former senior officer. He turned and hugged Starbuck and left without another word, obviously he was rather drunk now and needed to have some downtime alone. He staggered out of the bar, But Kara followed him closely behind, leaving her drink behind. She frowned, it would be a long night but, Lee needed someone to comfort him right now in this time of need.

She thought long and hard about doing that and she didn't think it was honestly a bad idea. She still felt part responsible even if she wasn't a bad influence on Dee. She felt horrible herself too. She partly hated herself for what at happened and no matter what Lee said she wanted to make it known too him for frakking up in the first place. But she made a secret promise to herself, she will find this new planet and she will get her people home.

The only thing that really bugged her even more was the fact that she was angry that she found herself dead. What the hell she thought to herself I'm I a frakking Cylon, am I my own worst enemy. She shook her head of these thoughts and concentrated on following Lee.

Lee was getting worse by the minute, he passed two guards and fell over twice. There were a lot of people staring at him which didn't help him. He got himself up and kept walking too his and Dee's private quarters, what he didn't know is Kara was slowly taking opposite turns from behind and was following him from a distance. Falling over again, this time he passed out. He had drank far too much, Kara ran straight over too him and grabbed a hold of him. She picked him up and took him back to his quarters. She was going to have a hell of a job explaining this to the Admiral. But screw it Lee was her friend and frakk command, she needed to be there for him. He would understand that.

She walked up to his quarters still dragging him along and put him down on the floor, she then opened the door and chucked him on the bed. She sat down on a chair next to his bed and looked at him, she waited for him to wake up. Too her luck there was a bottle of whiskey on the table next too her, should help pass the time she thought.

A few hours passed and Lee woke up, his head hurt like hell. He stirred only to find Starbuck had passed out next too him. He sighed, and not only that he was angry. But first he went out of his way to find his toliet. His head spun, some cheap booze he thought. He left and walked away only to dispose the contents on his floor, he fell over. Crying, he couldn't understand or take it. He thought well today is her funeral. I have to get up I have to get going I can't stay like this, what she think she'd be laughing at me all the way to my own grave if she saw me grovelling like this.

Kara was the next person to wake up, she too felt a little sick. But she was tough she could stomach the stuff that barman could conjure up. She woke up head spinning, popping a couple of asprin. She saw Lee again unconcious on the floor. She sighed, shit what day was it. It was the funeral, she woke him up. Lee looked up at her empty, he slowly got himself too his feet.

Lee- What are you doing here?

Kara- I came here with you. I followed you here you idiot

Lee- *annoyed* I told you to leave me be??

Kara- I couldn't leave you behind, Lee I didn't want you to be alone. Your my friend of course.

Lee- I know. I know, gods... I'm such a fool why?. What did I do too deserve this

Kara- Nothing?

Lee- Your god damn right Kara, you and your frakking planet finding mission some frakkhead you are

Kara- I thought you weren't going to blame me for this!! I can't believe you Lee. Dee loved you, she did this for her beliefs not yours. You'll follow that uniform of yours too your grave.

Lee- Shut the frak up Kara!! Shut up now! Frak you! She's dead damn you dead!!

Kara looked at lee with tears coming down her eyes. She knew he didn't hate her, she walked over to him and hugged him tightly, at first Lee didn't know how to react, but he then cuddled her. Braking down in her arms he cried and cried. He hated himself for it he hated lying to this woman. He did love her, and he frakked it all up.

He decided that enough was enough and he let go of Kara. Kara slowly walked over too the bed and sat down on it, still crying. Lee went into his private bathroom to shower and forget what happened. Whilst Kara got up and left and when she did she left him a note saying the following

Lee I'm so sorry for all of this to happen. If I had known I would have not bothered searching for this stupid planet. You have to believe me on this, I will find us our home and when I do I will be gone for a long time. I will see you at the funeral. I love you Lee Adama and you love me don't forget that, I'll see you soon

Kara Thrace XXXX

Lee walked up to the table in a towel and dried himself down, he read the message Kara left on the table. After sobering up he felt like a moron. How could he have done that. But one thing is for sure, he would go to the funeral. And he would say something that was personal to him and her.

All he could think of was I can put this right. And in the end I will. The funeral was today and for the first time in his life he felt gulit. He was truly scared. But he knew that he and her were meant to be together, he felt like a idiot he didn't blame Kara, only himself.

In the end, the funeral finished. The lights flickered up and down on the galactica, he broke down and cradled kara in his arms. He then realised what a idiot he truly was, when the one he truly loved was in his arms all along.