Author's Note:
Hi everyone!
I recently got back into the Reylo scene and I've had so many ideas sitting around for so long, I thought I should try my hand at actually putting stuff out there.
This is literally the first fanfiction I've ever written and published outside of tumblr drabbles. I don't even read fanfiction. Why am I doing this lmao
ONE – AWAKENING
In the month following the siege of Crait, the First Order sees little sign of the Resistance.
They're laying low, hiding until they can recover from their most recent losses. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and General Hux can't figure out how they've found somewhere to stash themselves away when every corner of the galaxy teems with First Order eyes, but that doesn't keep Hux from sending search parties to every planet, city, or hole in the ground that he thinks might harbor the rebels. He and Kylo bicker more often, their confrontations usually ending in violence. There is no Captain Phasma to break ties or step in when things get out of hand between the two men.
Kylo doesn't care too much about hunting down the Resistance. He has something far more important on his mind.
The silence from Rey is overwhelming.
It is overwhelming, frustrating, and it eats at him day and night.
Their last real interaction had been on Crait when their eyes had locked, and Rey had set her jaw and closed the door of the Millenium Falcon in his face. The Force had connected them a handful of times since then, though their meetings were always brief and wordless before one of them managed to sever the bond, the air between them heavy with tension and unspoken words. Kylo saw her at night when sleep fleetingly came to him - sometimes he and Rey fought back to back, her lightsaber flashing alongside his, and other times she plunged the vibrant blue of his grandfather's weapon straight through him. Those were the nights he awoke in a cold sweat, tangled in his sheets, and he would sleeplessly pace the halls of the Finalizer until the ship began to stir around him. He tries not to think about whether or not Rey dreams of him or if her sleep is plagued by the monster he truly is.
Kylo is conflicted when it comes to Rey. On one hand, the title of Supreme Leader is not easy to uphold, and running the First Order is quickly wearing him thin. He knew he should regard her as he once did - as nothing more than a rebel nuisance - but Kylo can't seem to shake the idea of having Rey beside him instead of the redhead that tries to treat him as if he's nothing more than a spoiled, petulant child. He and Rey have never seen entirely eye-to-eye, but Kylo had been prepared to make that sacrifice the moment he offered her his hand. Even if they came from opposite ends of the galaxy and ended up on opposite sides of the same war, Rey was the only one who ever understood him.
All is silent in the corridors surrounding his chambers and the hallways of the Finalizer are devoid of life at this time of night, save for the odd pair of patrolling Stormtroopers or the lone Officer making his way to bed. Kylo has just finished listening to Hux rant and rave about their continuously failed attempts to hunt down the Resistance, and he can feel the beginnings of a headache forming - the toll of a long day spent bickering with the General and numerous attempts to chase the thought of the scavenger girl from his mind. It is well into the night but Kylo knows not to expect the reprieve of sleep to come to him.
Kylo doesn't bother to turn on the lights when he enters his quarters, finding the starlight to be adequate enough as he deposits his lightsaber on the low, dark table that juts out from one of the walls. Afterward, Kylo paces to the windows, staring out at the vastness of space for a long moment, his gloved fingers curling into tight fists.
Everything is quiet, and he is all alone.
It doesn't take long for that fact to change, and Kylo notices the other presence in the room as soon as she appears. Kylo doesn't greet her and she doesn't greet him, and they both know it won't be long before the connection fizzles out again. This time, the bond doesn't waver, and Kylo feels himself growing impatient. He feels as if he wants to pick up his lightsaber and take it to the walls of his quarters, unleashing his frustrations and pain at the dark paneled walls.
"We can't keep going like this."
Her voice is soft, but in the still silence of his quarters, it feels as if she's standing right next to him. Kylo suppresses the urge to turn around. He can see her reflection in the polished, unblemished glass - she is sitting on the wrinkled, twisted sheets atop the bed he hasn't made since his last nightmare, and she is watching him.
"Ben," Rey speaks again when she receives no reply, her tone firmer, more insistent. "I know you can hear me."
Kylo finally turns around. There are deep circles beneath his eyes and the scar she gave him stands out in stark relief against his skin, which seems to be paler now. His long waves of hair are dull. His dark brown eyes are sad as he regards her with them. Rey feels only slightly self-conscious when she realizes she is clad in her sleepwear, which is a matching pair of thin, white linen shorts and a matching sleeveless top. She casually draws her legs up and wraps her sunkissed arms around them, though he doesn't look at her with hunger in his eyes like men on Jakku used to. Her hair is loose and her feet are bare as well, and Rey wonders if he knows that she has been chasing sleep that won't come.
"You're free to suggest an alternative."
His voice is low and he speaks only briefly, but his tone is not hostile. It sparks a bit of hope in Rey. Maybe he understands why she had to turn down his offer in the throne room after Snoke and the Praetorian guard had fallen, and why she had to close the door of the Millenium Falcon on him when the Force connected them on Crait. Maybe he forgives her
"I meant what I said – on the turbolift." Kylo's eyebrows furrow and his eyes search her face, but Rey knows he remembers. "It's not too late," She insists. Rey knows she is treading into dangerous territory, teetering on the verge of another argument, but Kylo remains surprisingly impassive. He is wilting beneath the weight of a vision he no longer upholds and his own loneliness, and Rey can tell that ruling the First Order is slowly eating away at whatever was left of him.
Kylo wonders how Rey manages to cling to that hope after all he's put her through. The corners of his lips turn up into the ghost of a smirk. Rey remembers seeing something like this before, back when she still hadn't entirely known who Ben Solo was, only this time he was completely clothed and her cheeks weren't burning with embarrassment at the sight of his half-naked form.
"We'll see."
The bond severs before Rey can ask him what that means, leaving them both with more questions than answers.