A/N: Hey there everyone! For those of you who have read 'The Kids Are Alright' and who have been keeping up with 'Life of a Mercenary', this is the series of one-shots looking into the childhood and lives of Skylar Christmas and Jake Jensen, called Growing Pains! This first chapter is pretty short because it's really just a test and a small taste, showing what it is I'm trying to get across with these one-shots. The next chapters I update on here will more than likely be much longer than this especially since some of the things I want to touch on will have to be written in certain parts. Also if this series of one-shot goes well, I think I might also write another one to focus on the Losers explicitly, because I just love them. It would probably touch upon how the Losers were formed, different missions, their bonding, etc. But tell me what you guys think of this one! And if you have any ideas as to what you want to see on here, feel free to review or message me with your ideas! I'd love to hear them!

Full Summary: No one ever said having kids was easy. Especially not when the two kids in question are Jake Jensen—certified genius, motor-mouth, and son of 'the Viking', Gunnar Jensen—and Sky Christmas—sarcastic, determined, and daughter of 'Knives Out', Lee Christmas. Throw these two kids together in a house full of mercenaries as guardians and you're in for fun ride. Follow these two kids as they move through life kicking ass, taking names, and getting into a bit of trouble along the way.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Expendables or the Losers, just my OC, Sky.

Growing Pains

New Orleans, Louisiana

July 14th, 1997

It was a mystery to him. He had no idea how things had changed so much in such a short amount of time. Barney had gotten used to having Sky around. She'd been with them for around a year, so he definitely found time to adjust. He had cut down on the excessive drinking and smoking cigars indoors. He had cut down on the one-night stands and whenever he did have one, he made sure it was at her place or a motel. Tool still hadn't cut down on his women of the night, but whenever he found himself a new girl, either he or Lee would take her on a 'field trip' to go to the park, the movies, or to eat ice cream. Sky never knew what Tool was up to and she got treats out of the deal, so she was always excited for a field trip. And Lee had morphed into the image of a doting father. He'd cut down almost entirely on one-night stands and drank less frequently. He would buy Sky new clothes and toys, spend time making healthy meals for her, and he made sure that there were rules in place to teach her discipline. He showered her with attention and affection—and Barney and Tool were pretty big on spoiling the small brunette as well.

And Sky was a really good kid. She was quiet most of the time, just keeping her comments to herself and watching everything around her. Often times, Barney could practically see the gears turning in her head. She loved running around and she liked learning new things. She had her small tantrums and her moments where she tried their patience, but those moments were far and few between. Overall she was a great kid and he'd adjusted to all her tendencies.

And then just two weeks ago Gunnar Jensen joined the Expendables, bringing along his seven year old son, Jake Jensen.

Barney hadn't known the kid for long, but he didn't need to in order to realize that Jake was the exact opposite of Sky. Where she was quiet and liked to observe, he was loud and always chattering on about anything and everything that popped into his mind. It was like he ran on an endless supply of energy and had no brain to mouth filter. Sometimes the quirk was endearing, but more often than not it would try the Italian's patience to critical levels. And the small boy was smart. Now, Sky was smart and intelligent for a girl her age, but Jake was so smart it was almost scary. He was quick-witted, fast to point out flaws in logic he saw, and he knew things that Barney was sure seven year olds didn't learn in elementary school. If he had to guess, the Italian would say that Jake inherited his genius intellect from his father.

And Gunnar absolutely loved it. He always encouraged Jake to ask questions and reason out problems. But in certain instances—like three days ago when Jake pointed out quite loudly that they only got to go on field trips whenever 'Uncle Tool' brought home a lady-friend before asking why—Barney wished the Swedish man encouraged the small blonde to keep his mouth shut in some situations. He and Lee had floundered for an answer with that one, especially when Sky nodded her agreement and looked up with wide eyes to ask why Tool had so many lady-friends.

But Jake wasn't a bad kid. From what the Italian saw, Jake was an awesome kid. He was funny, sweet as could be, and he was very caring. He was fun to talk to—since he always had a response for something, even if it was some weird sort of logic—and it was absolutely adorable watching Sky follow him around anywhere he went. For some reason, whenever Jake arrived, Sky had taken an immediate liking to him. It might have been because she'd never had people her age around her, but for whatever reason she would trail after him wherever he went. And she often ended up the person that he talked to most, since she was always around. It was easy to see that they were going to be extremely close in the future, and watching them together warmed his heart. It brought a bit of color to the bleak life full of death and despair he'd lived for so long.

But despite how colorful and bright they made his life he couldn't forget the fact that they were a handful.

Sky hadn't been one to get into much trouble on her own, but with Jake there poking and prodding her into different situations, convincing her to go through with his plans and ideas… they'd become a mischievous duo. And that was how he found himself in his current situation, standing in the front room of the tattoo shop with the two mud-stained children, making sure they didn't move anywhere. Gunnar and Lee had gone off to go get towels to wrap the two up so they didn't track any more mud into the shop and Tool was in the middle of doing a tattoo, so it was up to him to watch the two kids. Sky was looking guiltily at her feet, standing slightly behind Jake who didn't look even the slightest bit apologetic. He just stood there with a toothy grin, itching at a patch of dried up mud on his neck.

"So… tell me again what you kids were doing?"

"We were playing pirates!" Jake beamed proudly. "We just kinda fell in the mud puddle!"

"There's no grass or dirt in the alley, where would there be a mud puddle?" Barney pointed out.

"There's dirt in the back lot of the café three stores down! Mr. and Mrs. Thibodeaux let us play back there and even gave us some of their cookies!" Jake explained, reaching back to tug on Sky's sleeve slightly, smiling at her before looking back up at the Italian and puffing out his chest in pride. "We took out the entire fleet of British forces trying to take us in for piracy!"

Again, Barney was reminded that Jake was way too smart. Using historical references while playing pretend couldn't be normal.

"Who said you two could go to the café?" Barney challenged looking at them.

"Dad and Lee said we could play outside," the blonde replied with a small shrug. "The café is outside."

Kid was a smartass.

Barney counted to ten in his head to keep from replying with a smart comment of his own—he would not be riled up by a seven year old—before he turned to look at Sky, sending her a serious look. Almost immediately her cheeks heated up, without him having to say anything. "Sky, you know the rules. What are they?"

"No going away from the shop or garage without one of you," she recited.

"That's right," he agreed. "And Jake, you might not know these rules since you haven't been here long, but Sky does. So there's no excuse as to why you both broke the rule."

"But Mr. and Mrs. Thibodeaux are really nice," Jake pointed out.

"Doesn't matter kid," Barney said with a shake of his head. "A lot of people can seem nice, but they might not be. We're going to have to give you a rundown of the rules, just like we did to Sky, got it?"

Jake pouted.

"Alright you two, don't move!" Lee called out as he and Gunnar walked back over to the kids with large towels in their arms. The knife thrower swooped in and wrapped his daughter up in the towel, lifting her up into his arms and wrapping her up like a burrito. Her laughter bubbled up and filled the air while Gunnar crouched down in front of his son and held the towel out wide.

"Big arms," Gunnar ordered. Immediately, Jake opened his arms wide and launched himself at his father, getting engulfed in the large towel so it was nearly impossible to see his face. Gunnar smiled at his son and lifted him up into his arms before looking to the Italian and smiling. "Thanks for making sure he didn't run off anywhere."

"Not a problem," Barney replied easily.

"We're going to give these two munchkins a bath," Lee replied bouncing Sky slightly in his arms, smearing off a bit of mud on her cheek. "Then we're going to talk about the rules again."

"No rules!" Jake cheered as he wrangled his arm out of the towel. He pumped his fist in the air and grinned. "Anarchy!"

"What's anarchy?" Sky questioned as the two fathers shared exasperated looks and started walking off, ignoring the chuckles coming from Tool and the biker he was tattooing. Gunnar had just started explaining his most simplified definition of anarchy by the time they were in the lift heading upstairs.

"Having those two kids around is bound to be interesting," Tool grinned, looking up at the Italian briefly.

Barney reached for his cigar, before heading towards the door. "You got that right. I said it before and I'll say it again: those two are going to be a handful together."