Normally I prefer to focus on one fic at a time, but I just came up with this idea and I had to start writing these. Hope this first one is as funny to you as it was to me!

"Let me read a letter I recently received. 'Dear Doctor Breen, Why has the Combine seen fit to suppress our reproductive cycle. Sincerely, a concerned citizen.' Thank you for writing concerned…."

Jay let out a deep sigh as he stared at the T.V, he was really getting tired of hearing Doctor Breen's propaganda. The crazy doctor was the reason Earth had surrendered when it had. If that wasn't enough to make him the symbol of everything to hate, then it was the fact that his constant droning never ended.

A throbbing feeling was creeping inside his skull, Breen's words would echo inside his head, he wasn't surprised it was giving him a headache. Wanting to end his torment, Jay grabbed the T.V, ripped the plug out of the outlet and hurled it out his apartment window. He leaned out the window and shouted, "That's what I think of Doctor Breen!"

Jay's eyes widened when he noticed that the T.V had hit a CP square in the face, the cop was sprawled out on the ground while his partner looked at Jay. The CP's radio crackled, "Threat detected, apartment unit 009 on third floor. Assistance requested."

Fear gripped Jay at the thought of metro-cops with stun-sticks. Their olive coloured uniforms and white skull coloured masks were a terrifying sight to any citizen.

The sound of a door opening made Jay snap his head to the front door of his apartment, he stood frozen to the spot. He was fearful not only of the CPs, but of their quick response. The door slowly parted and Jay couldn't help but hold his breath; he breathed out a sigh of relief when Ryan came through.

Ryan was his best friend; the two had survived constant dealings with the Combine and their friendship was enough to bring light into their dark lives. Jay got Ryan's attention and said, "Ryan, CPs are heading this way!"

"Are they doing more raids? Unless they want our propaganda spewing T.V, there's nothing of value."

"Yeah...about the T.V," Jay said nervously, "I kind of threw it out the window, and it hit a CP in the face."

Ryan couldn't help but hang his head, "Great job."

"I've got an idea though. I just need you to distract them for a second."

"So you can jump out of the apartment to safety? How about no."

"Don't worry, I can get us out of this."

Ryan thought for a moment, but since he didn't have a plan he had no choice but to agree. "Alright, but you owe me for this."

"Deal," Jay said with a slight grin.

No sooner had he said that, then the two could hear the sounds of heavy footsteps thudding on the apartment floor. CP radio chatter echoed throughout the building as the metro-cops moved into position. Jay looked at Ryan and motioned for him to move behind the door to their apartment, ""Follow my lead and move when I give a signal."

"No problem, you want me to protect you from bullets and stun-sticks too?"

"If you wouldn't mind," Jay said with a grin.

Ryan just shook his head, trying to hide his own amusement as he moved into his designated position. As soon as Ryan stood to the side of the front door, CPs kicked the door in and stormed their room, stun-sticks drawn. Ryan watched with a grin as Jay sat down at the kitchen table, his arm held up as he shouted, "Hey CPs!"

One of the metro-cops moved toward his holstered pistol, but Jay rolled his eyes and yelld, "Arm wrestle!"

The lead CP shrugged as if to say, Why not? The others holster their stun-sticks while the lead metro-cop moved to sit at the chair on the other side of Jay. He grabbed Jay's hand and started pushing it down. Jay waited a few seconds until Ryan looked in his direction, he gave a slight nod before using all his strength to slam the CPs hand down with enough force to break the wooden table.

While the CP stumbled backward, Jay quickly ripped the cop's pistol from its holster. He cocked the weapon, pointed the pistol at the three other cops in the room, saying "What? What, what!" His tone indicating he was daring them to make a move.

Ryan moved away from the doorway and took the pistol from the rearguard, the movements of the two friends almost perfectly synched. Ryan looked at Jay wondering what he was going to say now. Jay answered that with a quick command, his pistol still pointing to the three CPs, "Weapons on the floor!"

The CPs look at each other but don't comply. Jay waved his pistol around saying, "Don't make me shoot all of you right here in this room!"

Despite the warning, the CPs draw their stun-sticks and moved toward Jay. The ends of the batons crackled to life, a visible blue emanation signifying that the weapons were powered. They start getting closer and closer, herding Jay into a corner while he continued to wave his captured pistol around, shouting, "I will shoot you right here in this room!"

"I will shoot you right here in this room!"

"Jay! Jay!"

The shouts stirred Jay from sleep; he slowly opened his eyes to see that he had his right hand held up as if he was holding a pistol. Ryan stood over him with a look of amusement on his face, "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Jay said as he attempted to brush off the question. A quick glance confirmed that what he already suspected, he had fallen asleep on the couch in their apartment. Ah, crap, Jay thought with a sigh.

So, two possible ratings. Great or Greatest. You decide!

More to come if people like!