Strength
I have always been demanding strength.
I have killed the strong ones one by one and have rose above them.
I had just fought with my Yato instinct that demanded the will to fight...
...without being able to figure out what I actually had wanted.
I had figured out... that true strength was not obtained by beating strong opponents...
...just only after I reached the top.
What was left in me after rising above every person...?
No one came near me because of fear...
I came to realise how solitary I was.
And then... I lost my way of life.
I then asked myself... what did I come all the way here for?
What was I expecting...?
I thought I didn't need anything to protect,
But without anyone to protect, I am truly... all alone.
This isn't true strength...
People do not win against others to become strong...
They win against themselves...
By the time I had figured this out, nobody was with me... beside me... any longer.
I had lost everything.
I became... a loser.
Kagura probably had figured this out much, much earlier than me...
And had tried to tell me that truth...
She was trying to save me, help me out.
But what did I do? I put my back against her and ignored her...
I thought Kagura was weak.
I thought her facing her back on the bloodline trait and going against those wills was just her trying to deny herself, fooling herself.
But it wasn't...
I was the one who was wrong...
Kagura was had more strength than I ever had.
She was winning against herself.
She had the ones she wanted to protect, she had friends,
and she had chosen a path where she hadn't the need to bloody her hands...
She fought against the Yato instincts all this time and had never failed to overcome it.
And as for me, I was losing to it... right from the start...
But deep within me... I probably had been craving for the same path as what she was taking...
I blamed the bloodline trait, the Yato instinct, and let it control me.
I was endlessly losing all this time.
Why am I... so weak?
It's all so dark now...
I can't see anything... feel anything... hear-
Footsteps were heard from behind me.
In this doomed darkness, somebody was coming from behind.
Perhaps another person trying to kill me.
I raised my arms in defence, but soon sighed deeply and lowered those arms again.
No more... I'm too tired of all this. I don't want to fight anymore...
I rested my eyes in defeat...
But moments later I opened them because of the voice.
"Kamui"
An unexpected, familiar voice reached my ears and my eyes opened wide.
Perhaps my head had gone all funny now and I was hearing things?
Not able to believe it, I slowly turned around.
In the pitch black darkness, a small, red Chinese dressed, girl was in front of me, glowing brightly, contrasting the surrounding.
My little sister, Kagura... who I had ditched ages ago.
I waited for the slightly smiling Kagura to disappear in front of my eyes.
My face is now probably looking just as crushed as my heart was as I feel the sadness and the pain, the deepness of the wrong doings I have had been doing.
What have I done, to my dearest sister who had always given me a warm smile...
The longer she exists before my eyes, the more painful it gets, and it was too hard for me to handle. But the illusion didn't quite disappear as immediately as I had wished.
"It's alright. You don't have to worry about anything anymore."
She said those words with the cute voice like she had a long time ago.
How can everything be alright?
I have done... something that can never be redeemed...
I have become all alone...
My throat became too dry to be able to speak.
Kagura stood on her tip toes, wrapped her arms around my neck, and embraced me.
It was then that I realised that she wasn't an illusion...
W-why... was Kagura... here?
With my body forced to lean forward a little, my heart nearly stopped from shock.
"You don't have to worry anymore, because I will protect you, Kamui."
With those words, a tear suddenly ran down my cheek.
I didn't know why she was caring for me this much.
The brother who ditched his family... the brother who left Kagura all alone...
I couldn't understand why she wanted to protect me.
The person who was a murderer... The person who became the enemy of all people in space...
"...why?"
"To protect a brother is a sister's job. It's obvious. Why are we siblings for?
Closing my eyes, I felt my legs collapsing and falling to the ground, taking Kagura with me, but Kagura never let go of me.
I put my head against Kagura's shoulders, I felt the comfort and ease, and the tears wouldn't stop flowing.
"You don't have to fight anymore. Let's go home, Kamui."
Kagura whispered ever so softly beside my ear.
"Kagura..."
For the first time, I heard affection coming from my own voice when I said her name.