Disclaimer: I do not claim rights to any of the SEGA characters within this fanfic. In addition, much of the dialogue, as well as the basis for this fanfic, is borrowed and inspired by Rooster Teeth Productions. Remember; it's not a copyright infrigment, it's a tribute!

S.O.N.I.C.

(Sapient Organisms Near Incredible Catastrophe)

The silence of the office building's third floor was disrupted by Jet the Hawk as he quickly rushed out of the elevator.

Tightly gripping his peculiarly designed gun, he zigzagged through the darkly-lit hallway lying ahead, skillfully maneuvering past furniture and other obstacles. He came to stop in a small, rectangular room with two entry ways from front to back. From the looks of the desk with the computer, and the sofa placed in the corner, the room was used by some higher up in the company.

Jet pressed his headset radio to his ear and switched on the transmission. "All clear, move it up."

"Roger that."

Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow zoomed from the elevator in much the same fashion Jet had. Upon reaching the room, they separated and spread to every vacant spot available.

Each one of them not only carried a different variation of the odd-looking gun design, but they each were completely outfitted in what could easily be mistaken as military-grade equipment. Of course, the color schemes of their individual equipment would most likely eliminate any affiliation. As usual, each one of them decided to paint their tools after their own traditional color patterns.

Sonic, taking a position just behind the desk, made a hand gesture towards Jet's direction.

Jet understood completely and whirled around to the front of the room, pivoting around the corner. He carefully scanned the gloomy corridors outside, only to confirm that the entire building was devoid of life, save for a few wilted plants.

Jet turned back towards the group and sent them a thumbs up.

Sonic nodded and raised his gun at the ready. "Shadow, you go with Jet. Knuckles, you secure the perimeter and…"

My name is Miles "Tails' Prower, and this is the first time my help was requested for a mission. With the rise in reports involving paranormal anomalies, my friends and a few of our rivals got the idea to get together and find out why. Me and Wave were able to create and equipped everyone with gear that should be able to deal with anything otherworldly in theory, but I can't actually say that we tested our inventions thoroughly enough to-."

"Will you just shut up already?!" Knuckles demanded loudly.

Sonic turned towards the echidna with an agitated expression. "Knux, hey, you listening to me?"

"I would if Tails cut out the narration. It keeps distracting me."

Sonic groaned and faced his surrogate brother. "Dang it Tails, what did I tell you about talking to yourself?"

"Sorry, it just helps calm me down… I'm nervous."

"Well chew some gum or something," Jet snapped. "That running commentary's freaking me out."

"Yeah, and don't refer to me in the past tense. That's rude," Shadow added.

"And stop calling me Rad Red. We are not using codenames."

"Sorry everyone, really I am. It's just that it's my first day and I'm really nervous. I know you guys have been doing this for two month now, but I've never seen a ghost before."

"Neither have we," said Shadow, "but you don't hear us making monologues about how dark the hallways are, or how it always feels like something's right behind us..."

"Okay, now you're freaking me out." Jet pulled his gun closer to his chest. "Stop it, ya assholes!"

Tails blinked in disbelief. "You guys haven't seen a ghost before? That was the whole point of making this team, to find out about all the ghost reports in the city!"

"All because we hunt for a bunch of movie-grade, haunted house crap doesn't mean we ever find anything," Knuckles stated simply.

Shadow arrogantly huffed. "I don't even believe in ghosts."

"What?!"

"Me neither," Jet chimed in.

"Then what've you guys been doing this entire time?! Why are we even in here?!"

"Ha! We're collecting the easiest paycheck in the world, that's why we're here," Jet answered.

"Yep," Knuckles agreed."Let me set the scenario for you; a few employee feels a chill down their spine, or a coffee mug moves across the room. They call us in."

"We go in, look around, say we say some weird stuff and chased it off. Case closed, then it's Miller time," Shadow summed up.

"Let's have a cold one."

"I still have to write up assessments you know," Sonic complained.

"You guys are a bunch of phonies!" Tails exclaimed, pointing at each of them. "Me and Wave spent days working in the lab to make all of this equipment, and you mean to tell me that you treated this whole project like some vacation?!"

Sonic threw his hands up in a pleading manner. "Whoa, chill out little buddy. No one ever said that we'd actually find anything. After all, when has anyone ever seen a real ghost?"

Shadow grabbed a nearby chair and took a seat. "Besides, do you know how ludicrous half of these reports sound? Take this mission for example; these people claim that the ghost of a little girl in a red dress is terrorizing them daily."

"What'd you expect?" Crossing his arms, Knuckles leaned up against the wall nonchalantly. "Considering this company's reputation, the head honchos probably thought that it'd be good publicity to have the famous 'Sonic Heroes and company' check this place out."

Jet placed his gun down and held his hands out dramatically. "I can see the headlines now. Superb Sapients Scare Away Spooks and Specters! Gives Armachan Two Blue Thumbs Up!"

Giving up, Tails slumped to the floor. His ears flopped down and each of his tails slinked limply behind him. "This is ridiculous."

Jet scoffed. "I'll tell you what's ridiculous; you arm us with a bunch of guns straight out of a NERF commercial and you expect us to fight spirits with these things? Heh, I might as well try to stab one of them with a dinner – f#$k!" Suddenly, Jet was yanked from the entrance and deeper into the office.

Sonic, who had been lying down with his eyes closed, looked up curiously. "What the hell's a dinner f#$k?.. Jet?" He jumped up and swiveled his head around. "Where'd he go?"

Knuckles, who also had been resting his eyes, scratched his head in confusion. "That's weird; he was here a second ago."

"I didn't ask where he was a second ago; I'm askin' where he is now!"

Yawning loudly and stretching his arms, Shadow glanced at the two in boredom. "Calm down, I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all of this."

The air began to fill with Jet's agonized and unbelievably high-pitched screams, accompanied by the sound of snapping bones.

The entire group jumped to their feet and grabbed up their guns.

"How the hell do you explain that?!" Knuckles demanded.

Shadow cocked his gun and backed away from the entryway catiously. "That's simple, he just stepped around the corner… And started screaming at the top of his lungs… And making bone-crunching noises."

A significantly louder snap echoed throughout the floor. It was immediately followed by a blood-curdling scream.

"W-when do w-we get to s-say nothing h-happened?" Tails stammered out.

Sonic crouched down behind the desk. "Aw man, I'm really not looking forward to writing the assessment for this."

A/N: Well, I hope that was as fun to read as it was to write. Part two will be coming out soon. Thank you for readings, and please review.