Sitting alone at the side of the motel room table, the chair cold and stiff against his bones, he grabbed the complimentary notepad and pen and began to write.
My Love,
I do this for you and for our country.
My last thought will be of you and our children.
You know what to do.
I am not afraid.
S.
******"Are you ready?" Tony asked as he finished spreading the jam and handed her a slice of freshly baked toast.
"Almost." She mumbled, placing it into her mouth and holding it tightly between her teeth as she balanced precariously while putting her right shoe on. "I just need to find my red blouse." She continued as she took a bite and took the toast back out of her mouth. Her clothes were fitting more snugly nowadays, her breasts had filled out more, not that Tony minded, and her tailored suits were becoming more and more difficult to button up. She didn't have anything else to wear and sooner or later she would have to bite the bullet and go shopping.
"You look fine." Tony said as he forced the glass of water into her hand and motioned for her to drink up, "Here drink this." Tony said, taking a bite of the other piece of toast on the counter top.
"If I have anymore to drink I'll burst." Michelle groaned.
"You know what the doctor said." Tony did everything by the book, he'd read everything he could get his hands on like this was some kind of high priority missing, she wished he'd just relax a little and let himself enjoy the experience more.
"Whose having this baby?" Michelle bit back, with a grin before downing the glass of water and taking another bite of her toast.
"You look gorgeous." Tony said as he kissed her gently on the cheek, then pulled her closer as he made her way down her neck.
"We'll be late." She warned him, kissing him back as she ran her fingers through his hair, and ran her palm down the side of his face.
"I don't care." Tony bluffed, enjoying the embrace.
"Hmm, No! Not now." Michelle pulled away, "Let's get this over with, my bladder is killing me." Tony laughed then grabbed the keys and followed her out to the car. It was a beautiful summer's morning, the sun was warm and bright and the air smelled sweet. It took longer than normal to a get to their destination. It had been just over five weeks since they had returned from Africa. Tony drove more carefully nowadays, but she didn't mind. Her injuries had healed and Tony allowed her to be out of bed as long as she took it easy. The doctors had given her some medication which she took daily to help her carry to term, and so far it was working. She still helped Tony prepare all of the reports for their clients, but it was Tony who ran all the meetings. She wished that other people would get to see the lighter side of him like she did. He was so serious at work.
*********The doctors clinic was busy this morning and the nurses were moving all over the place. Tony checked Michelle in then went to sit with her by the window. The sun shone brightly through the long narrow windows and it illuminated her face as she leaned down to pick up a TV soap magazine, amused with the headlines on the front cover.
"Wow!" She scoffed, "People will report anything as news these days." She read an article about some celebrity getting drunk and causing a scene.
"People are so small minded. They'd have a fit if they ever knew what truly went on out there." Tony agreed as he reached under the magazine and placed his hand on her abdomen. He couldn't feel anything, except for the smoothness of Michelle's red blouse, but he knew she was in there somewhere, so tiny and helpless.
"Do you ever worry that we won't be any good at this?" Michelle asked, picking up on Tony's thoughts and looking at some of the other mothers in the waiting room.
"No." He lied, "Honey you're a natural."
"Yeah right. What kind of mum can't even cook?"
"That's what I'm here for. You can take care of all the other stuff like hugs and kisses."
"Ms Dessler."
"Finally."
"Just breath." Tony told her. The nurse escorted them to the tiny room . Lying on her back, her blouse pulled up exposing her abdomen Michelle took a deep breath, The gel felt cool against her skin as she the nurse spread it across her belly, Tony held her hand tightly neither one of them had the courage to look at the screen.
"There'll be some light pressure, not that I need to tell you this. You guys are old pros at this by now…. There, let's see." The nurse commented as she worked. "How far along are you now?"
"Fourteen weeks." Michelle said hesitantly.
"Is everything ok?" Tony asked nervously. Their last scan had showed some minor distress from the foetus, but he hoped that a week of bed rest had helped calm things down.
"See for yourself." The nurse told them, "There, you can see his head and his toes." The nurse turned the volume up on the machine, "And this" She paused, positing the ultrasound just right, "Is the heartbeat, nice and strong."
Michelle and Tony stared at the screen and listened closely to the tiny rapid thumps.
"Is she ok?" Tony asked, looking intently at the screen.
"You're baby is doing just fine." The nurse informed them. They stared at the screen for ages. "There is no sign of distress, it looks like what ever it was has passed." They'd been through so much pain and heartache that standing there, watching the tiny limbs floating around and moving inside of her, watching the heart flicker in rapid succession was quite surreal.
"Did you want to know?" The nurse asked them.
"No." Michelle quickly responded
"Yes." Tony wanted to do the nursery and he needed to know what colours to buy, but then he corrected himself, "No." he was happy to wait for Michelle to be ready.
"That's ok, you'll have a chance to decide before your next visit, which, if the doctor agrees, shouldn't be for another four weeks."
"That's our baby Tony." Michelle finally started to calm down. She squeezed his hand as she pointed with her free hand at the heartbeat on the screen.
"Now it goes without saying that this is still a risky pregnancy, but I think that given we've gotten this far that we can start to relax a little."
"Are you sure?"
"You know there are no guarantees. But yes, as long as you take it easy, no exercise and a healthy diet I see no reason why you should worry. Of course as the pregnancy progresses we'll have to keep an eye on how your uterus stretches but for now sit back, relax and enjoy. Your going to be a mum, and a dad of course."
"He's beautiful sweetheart." Tony said leaning down to kiss her. "God I love you."
"I love you too." She whispered back, tears running down her face as he squeezed her hand and stroked her hair, "You are Amazing." He wanted to hold her tight forever.
******As they waited for the boom gates to go up so they could exit the car park, Tony placed his free hand on her belly again, the grin on his face declaring how excited he was.
"This is really happening!"
"Yep."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm not sure." She had tried hard not to get attached, just in case, but now the wall had been torn down and all those emotions she'd been hiding from were flooding in. The boom gate lifted and Tony drove on. He moved his hand and took hers, holding her tight.
"Everything's going to be all right. I know it is." He had a good feeling.
"I know." She tried to convince herself. "I guess I just have to get used to all of this, that's all. There's nothing else to it."
Tony squeezed her hand and smiled at her. "There's just one more thing we need to do." He said hesitantly.
"Are you sure you're ready?" Michelle asked, knowing what a big moment this was going to be for him.
"Sweetheart. I don't think I'll ever be ready but it's you I'm worried about. Are you sure you can handle it?"
"Let's find out." Tony turned left out of the car park and headed towards the freeway to the outskirts of town, it was time to tell his mother.
Tony's mumWalking up to the big open windows that adorned the front of the house Michelle caught a glimpse of her reflection. She was wearing her black pants, with her red blouse and a black jacket that buttoned just above her naval. She stared at herself for a moment.
"What's wrong?" Tony asked as he came up behind her and put his hands around her waist.
"I don't look pregnant. I just look chubby."
"I think you look perfect." He said kissing her neck, "My mothers going to eat you alive."
"She's not that bad."
"Do you remember my mother?"
"Aghhh…. Antonio.. mi bebe…" His mother came crashing through the front door towards them.
"Hey mama." He stepped in front of Michelle and took his mothers embrace full on.
"How come you don't call anymore huh? It's been months"
"Hello Maria." Michelle greeted her trying to break the tension. Michelle's mother was ecstatic to see Michelle again. "You and Tony…"
"Married." Tony said as Maria held up Michelle's hand to look at the ring.
"Aghhh." She cried again as she held Michelle tight.
"Take it easy mum." Tony warned her, trying to loosen his mothers grip on Michelle.
"Salir aquí a tu hijo está en casa. ¿Cómo no me lo dijiste?" She started ranting in Spanish before looking at Tony and Michelle. She pinched Michelle's cheek and gave her another, more gentle hug. "Get out here." She called out to her husband, "Antonio and Michelle are here….."
"Yes." Michelle smiled, understanding the look in her eye, her Spanish was rusty but she knew that his mother had guessed she was pregnant.
"Nieto, Oh, estoy tan feliz…" his mother was so happy. Then she turned to Tony and slapped him across the face.
"Ma." He recoiled, rubbing the soreness away.
"That's for not telling me." Then she grabbed Michelle's arm.
"How did you know?" Michele asked surprised that she had guessed.
"A mother always knows these things." She said hugging her more gently this time. "Come, come." She said escorting her inside.
"That wasn't too bad." Michelle whispered to him.
"Just wait." He warned her following them inside.
Tony's father was in the yard, tending to his vegetable garden. When he turned around and saw Tony standing in the doorway it was like watching an apparition. His father stood up, dusted himself off and made his way inside. "Antonio." He said sternly.
"Dad." Tony had felt so ashamed at how things had turned out that he'd cut himself off from his family all together, he wasn't sure how his father was going to react.
"It's been a while. Do you know what you put your mother through?"
"I know. I'm sorry."
"What brings you here today?"
"I've brought Michelle with me." He motioned to where Michelle was bailed up in the kitchen talking to his mother. His dad grinned to see that she was clearly well.
"She looks well. It's good to see you two back together again."
"We're married again pop."
"Good. You make sure you hang onto her this time." His father was so matter of fact. Like father, like son.
"I intend to." Tony hadn't seen his parents since Michelle left. They'd tried to visit him once or twice but he drove them away. It was good to be home.
"Alavro, Alavro did he tell you?" His mother dragged Michelle outside to show her off.
"Michelle." His dad greeted her. "It's lovely to see you again. We've missed you." He said extending out his hand.
"Me too." She grinned shyly, she hated being the shiny new toy.
"Michelle is pregnant Alavro. You're going to be un abuelo."
"Congratulations." He shook her hand and kissed her on the cheek.
"Thank you." She replied, turning red with embarrassment.
"Come, come. You stay for lunch yes." Tony's mother insisted.
"Umm." Michelle looked at Tony.
"It's best just to go along with her my dear." His father warned her with a smile.
"Lunch it is." Michelle agreed, glancing back at Tony.
"Good. You can help."
"Oh no…" Michelle stuttered.
"Michelle doesn't cook remember." Tony reminded his mum.
"That's ok. I teach." Tony threw his hands up in surrender as his mum took Micelle's arm and led her back inside. "A good mum needs to know how to cook. Yes?" Michelle looked back at Tony, but he just grinned and looked away, she was on her own.
"Come." His father said. "We talk."
"That would be good." They walked out into the garden.
"You look worried." His father noted.
"It's been a tough few weeks."
"I never asked you much about your line of work. I new you couldn't say much."
"I'm sorry about that."
"No, no. I understand. I know you're job was quite important. I raised you well. I know you know how to look after yourself."
"You did a good job pop."
"That said. If you need me, I'm here for you."
"Thanks."
"You and Michelle huh. How long have you been back together?"
"Almost six months."
"Tell me. You didn't get married because of the baby did you?"
"No pop. We didn't find out about the baby until five weeks ago."
"But…." He sensed there was something more.
"It's complicated. There have been some complications. I didn't want to tell mum until we were certain it would be okay."
"And is it, okay I mean?"
"The doctors seem to think so."
"You're mother had a hell of a time with you, you know."
"She told me."
"Doctors said she'd never have another child, but then we were blessed with your sisters. Just goes to show those doctors don't know everything hey."
"Yeah." Tony huffed unconvincingly.
"That serious?"
"I'm afraid so."
"She'll be right son." He said, a reassuring hand on his back. "Come. Michelle will need rescuing by now." They headed back into the kitchen, "Just remember, no one is guaranteed a tomorrow, we need to make the most of what we have today."
"That's it. You keep stirring and I'll get started on the vegetables." His mum was cooking enough to feed a whole football team.
"I'm very grateful for you trying to teach me. Tony's a wonderful cook. You taught him well."
"He was a natural growing up." She remembered fondly.
"Maria." Michelle wondered what she was thinking?
"Yes dear?"
"What did Tony tell you? About before I mean?"
"Not a lot. But a mother knows."
"It wasn't all his fault."
"I can imagine. Almeida's are stubborn, the men especially."
"It broke my heart to walk away…"
"You don't need to tell me if you don't want to dear. That's all in the past now. What matters is that your here now, and your having my grandchild yes?"
"I do love your son."
"My dear, no one would ever doubt it. He loves you too. The room lights up for him whenever you're around." Then she lowered her head, "I'm just glad he's not mopping around that apartment of his anymore. It broke his fathers heart to see him like that" Hers too.
"Things are different now."
"I can see that too. He's a changed man, for the better. Being with you agrees with him." His mother said, staring out the window, watching a longed for vision, Tony and his father side by side again. "Thankyou for bringing him back to us."
"I hope your not working this poor girl to the bone." Tony's father baited his mother. Tony came in and kissed Michelle on the cheek then took a look at the soup Michelle was stirring.
"It looks good." His mouth watering with anticipation as the aroma of the spices filled his nostrils.
"It's all your mothers doing." She said, wiping a stray strand of hair.
"You look tired." He said, "Ma. I told you to take it easy with her."
"She's fine." His mother told him,
"It's ok. Honest." Michelle insisted.
"Maria." His father said sternly.
"Here" Tony said escorting her to a chair, "I'll finish this."
"She's not well." Alavro whispered to his wife. Maria looked at her son, and saw the worry on his face.
"She never told me." Maria strengthened her composure, "Let Antonio fuss over you my dear. It will all change once the baby is born."
"Not a chance." Tony smiled at Michelle as he handed her a glass of water.
"Oh. I forgot the sour cream. Alavro be a dear and run down t the corner shop for me."
"Can't you leave it out?"
"Must I do everything myself?" Tony's mother started ranting, waving her ladle around towards Alavro.
"All right, all right. I'll go"
"Thank you…. Be a good boy Antonio, keep him company."
"Maria." Alavro could see she was up to her tricks again.
"What?"
"It's okay. I'll go pop." He grabbed his jacket and kissed Michelle on the forehead. "I'll be back soon. Promise you wont overdo things?"
"Scouts honour." She said. As the front door closed behind them Maria took up a chair opposite Michelle.
"Anything I can do?" Michelle asked.
"Just sit right there. I think it's time we had a little chat."
"Tony's just being overprotective."
"I think it's a little more than that. He was down right apprehensive."
"It's been hard on him. I don't know what I would have done without him."
"Tell me. Maybe I can help." Michelle didn't say anything, so his mother continued "Father said you weren't well. Is it the baby?"
"The baby's fine for now. It's just that, well… the doctors said I had some scaring. The truth is, I could miscarry at any time. They said I had a 20% chance of making it to full term."
"There's more?" His mother could sense she was holding something back.
"I've already miscarried once before, just after I left Tony."
"Oh my dear. I didn't know. You should have told me."
"I didn't know what was happening at the time. I didn't want anybody to know, not even Tony."
"But he knows now?"
"Tony's terrified it will happen again, and there's nothing he or I can do to stop it. I've been on complete bed rest since we found out and Tony's been wonderful but he worries about me all the time."
"Oh love." She said giving her a hug.
"Please. We didn't want you to worry, that's why we didn't tell you earlier."
"Nonsense. I'm a mother. It's my prerogative to worry."
"Hmm."
"There's more." Maria sensed.
"It's nothing…" Michelle started, but decided it would be easier if there were no secrets. "Tony has good cause to worry. We were attacked a few weeks ago. I can't go into details just to say that I was knocked to the ground and had some bruising on my right hip. Like I said. It's been tough for him, but he's been coping really well."
"Are you sure about that?"
"No, but I need to keep up a brave face for him."
"As I'm sure he's doing for you."
"Hmm." Michelle scoffed, "He deserves better than this. I've already put him through so much."
"You both do my child." She held out a welcoming hand, "and you can't blame yourself for what happened before. I know my son, he wouldn't have given you much choice" She said, as the front door announced there return, "You sit right there. You can shell these peas for me. Yes" She said handing her a bowl of peas fresh from the garden.
"Thank you."
"Nonsense. You're family, you're my daughter. Anything you need you just ask. Don't worry my dear that baby will be here safe and sound before you know it."
"Don't tell Tony we talked."
"Mum's the word." She mimicked, "Speaking of which is it a boy or a girl?"
"I'm not sure. We didn't want to know."
"I think it's a boy. I have a sense about these things."
"I think Tony wants a boy"
"Tony will be happy with whatever it may be. He adores you and he adores that child of yours, we all do."
*****Samuels put the burger wrapper down as he pulled in slowly beside the gate. Checking the coast was clear he reached for his bolt cutters on the back seat and made his way over to the perimeter fence line. He cut a large section of the fence away, big enough for is van to fit inside, then once back in his vehicle, made his way silently towards a tower to the east, away from the main bunker enough to keep him out of sight but close enough to be effective. Parking the car, he kissed the image of the woman stuck to his visor and holding his necklace, prayed. It was the longest fifteen minutes of his life, the last fifteen minutes of his life. As the clock radio ticked over to eleven am, he held his necklace tight.
The explosion sent debris everywhere, the fireball was unmistakable, setting off a chain reaction which took out twelve of the fuel tanks around him. Petroleum fuel, burning alight, spewed out everywhere, trickling its way through the sight like a river of lava. The workers were helpless to stop it as the evacuation horn sounded, men scrambled to save themselves. The oil field had held over half of Los Angeles supply of gasoline, with these storage tanks taken out there was going to be chaos. Even if fire fighters could get close enough, it would take days even weeks to put all the fires out.
*****It took twenty minutes for CTU to respond. By the time they got there, there wasn't much left they could do. Agent Williams gathered the survivors and his men took as many accounts as they could collect but they all arrived at the same dead end. "I'm sorry I didn't see anything." Their man was a ghost, not even a make or model on the car, just a few small parts blown far enough away that they had been retrieved by the fire fighters who had tried to go in and fight the fires. A rear view mirror, a door handle and a piece of plastic which had covered something in the engine block, not much to go on.
"Do you have a copy of the security tapes?" Williams asked the shift supervisor. With any luck they may have caught a glimpse of something, and the main building was still intact enough to give him hope.
"Yes sir. We keep them down in the basement. They should have been protected. But it's not safe to go in there."
"Let me worry about that."
"Sir. Was this a terrorist strike?"
"I don't have enough information at this time"
"Do you think we should warn our employees?"
"Just sit tight for now. Information is on a need to know basis. I let you know when I have something concrete."
"But."
"Please sir. You do your job, and let me do mine." The supervisor wasn't happy, but he knew enough to walk away. Agent Williams grabbed one of his men and ordered him to go and retrieve the tapes. Risky or not they needed to know what had happened here.
*****'And in other news today, there has been an attack on Los Angeles major oil refinery. Police believe that it may be linked to three other attacks on service stations over the last two days. In each case the businesses have been destroyed by fire and left guttered. We'll have more for you once the information comes to hand.'
Maria turned off the wireless placed a large bowl of soup in the middle of the table. "Lunch is ready. Come and get it." She called out to where the three of them were sitting, chatting on the porch. Tony and Michelle enjoyed a lovely soup entrée followed by a meal of sour cream and pesto chicken with a side of fresh vegetables. Michelle had never eaten so much in her life.
"That was delicious. Thank you."
"Would you like some more?"
"No I couldn't possibly."
"Ma."
"I know, I know." She winked at Michelle.
"Apple rhubarb pie?"
"Maybe later."
"Antonio?"
"I'd love another helping ma. Thank you."
As the morning disappeared the family continued to eat and laugh, remembering good times and talking of the future. "Well." Michelle started as she stood at the front door almost too tired to stand. "It's been lovely."
"Thank you for coming to see us."
"You take care now you hear." His dad said swiftly, never one for goodbyes.
"Look after her Tony. This girl's special."
"I know." He said smiling at her as she squeezed his hand.
"We'll see you soon" His mother insisted
"You bet ma." Tony kissed his mother on the cheek then escorted Michelle to the car.
"That wasn't so bad." She smiled contently.
"I'm sorry about my mother. She can be a little intense sometimes."
"We had a good chat. I think everything's going to be fine."
"She's corrupted you." Tony said coyly,
"Maybe?" Michelle laughed.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just don't think I should have had that second helping."
"We'll be home soon."
"She misses you, you know." Michelle told him.
"I know."
"It's funny. We were so caught up in how things affected us that we never considered how it would affect those around us."
"I have a lot to make up for." Tony acknowledged.
"We both do." She said, then placed a firm hand on her stomach, trying to make out the movements she felt inside. "This child is like a fresh start, for everybody."
"It will be ok. We Almeida's are tough."
"That's what your mum said….. she thinks I'm having a boy you know."
"A boy huh. You know my mum's usually right about these things."
"Would that make you happy?"
"Sweetheart. I'm just happy knowing that you are both safe. Boy, girl it makes no difference to me."
"But…"
"But nothing."
"Fine."
"Sweetheart." Michelle still wasn't responding. "All right a boy would be great, someone to carry on the Almeida name…"
"I knew it."
"But I'd also love a little girl just as beautiful as her mother with long brown hair and eyes as warm as the sun on a summers day."
"There you go, trying to sweet talk me again."
"What about you?"
"I'm not sure. I'd love a girl, but I also want a boy, just like his father."
"With more sense than his father I hope."
"Don't be so hard on yourself."
"Just being honest. I've made a lot of mistakes, a lot of decisions I'm not proud of, the way I treated you.."
"None of that matters now. Like your mother says it's in the past. This." She said placing his hand over their child, "This is the future and it's all that matters."