Author note:

Serious TW for all chapters of this story for self-harm, and some for sex, sexual assault, and suicidality. These are written in the second person about how the guys (and I might write Jaehee as well) would deal with a self-harming MC. Review to let me know your thoughts!

Yoosung knocked on the door to your apartment, with a wide grin on his face, and a bouquet clutched in his hands. He had read somewhere about surprising a cherished girlfriend with flowers on a day that wasn't Valentines Day to increase the surprise, and he couldn't wait to see the dimples on your cheeks.

But you didn't answer the door. You were clearly there - the lights were on and you were environmentally conscious. Yoosung frowned momentarily, but shook it off and used the key you'd given him to let himself in. You had probably just gotten wrapped up in a gaming session (because of course you started playing casually to try to keep up with him after you got tired of losing in Mario Kart), lost in a book, or were listening to music. He set the flowers down on your counter when he didn't see you, and resolved to wake you up with a kiss if you were napping.

But you weren't in the bed. You weren't curled up on the couch. Your laptop was closed, and the book on your dresser lay conspicuously closed. Weird.

"MC," he said quietly, and knocked on the bathroom. "Are you in there?" He heard a soft sob. "Uh - um… are you… dressed? I'm going to open the door, okay?" You didn't answer, so he turned the doorknob. A sliver of light came out of the door, and he could hear you breathing raggedly.

"Are you okay?"
"No," you whimpered. He steeled his nerves and opened the door. You were in the bathtub. He turned away, his face red. This wasn't his first time seeing you undressed, but there was a vulnerability to seeing someone in a bath that somehow felt violative to him.

"MC, you should have said something if needed privacy."

"Yoosung," you whispered. "Please. I need you." He perked up a little, but something in your voice sounded… wrong. He went back inside, and his already pale face went white with shock when he saw you. You had small cuts on your wrists and mascara was streamed down your face. There was a razor blade on the side of the tub.

"MC!" He practically shouted your name as he ran to you. "What did you do?" His fingers were fumbling in his pocket as he reached for his cell phone, dialing an emergency number.

"It's okay," you said meekly. "I cut across. I won't die."

"How much blood have you lost?" Yoosung had wanted to be a vet to protect Rika's pet. He had never thought of being a doctor until now, when he saw the blood on your skin pooling into the bathtub. A tear ran down his face.

You lifted your arm up, and he noticed what he hadn't before. A million criss-crossing scars.

"How could you do this to yourself? Why?" he was practically shouting. "I thought you were happy." Another tear streamed down your face.

"I didn't want you to see me like this. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what that must have felt like, after…" You were shaking. "I was just taking a bath, and I wanted to drown. I wanted to let water fill my lungs. So I do this, instead. It's the only way I know to keep myself… afloat. And I always feel that way… I've always felt that way. Yoosung… I couldn't tell you this before. The way you reacted to Rika's mental illness… I didn't want you to be distant from me. I'm depressed. There's a lot you don't know about my past. You made me feel light."

"Dr-drown? You wanted to drown? Please, MC… don't leave me." His voice cracked. "I know I said you were like Rika before… how I wanted you to be like her. But… not like this. Never like this."