A/N: This is my first fanfic so if you're confused or anything please tell me! I want to get better!

Two weeks.

It's been two weeks since she last saw her people. Her friends. Her family.

She closed her eyes and thought about the last few moments she had at her home, at Camp Jaha.

People silently began entering Camp Jaha, carrying wounded who are barely holding on to their lives. Clarke can't bear to look at them anyone. She stands outside the gate, watching as other people hug and greet each other. Bellamy walks up to Clarke, he's speaking and she's replying, but she isn't paying very much attention. The image of innocent dead children are still flashing in front of her eyes.

"…I'm not going in."

Bellamy was stunned for a minute, or at least she assumed that, because she was still avoiding eye contact. Please understand, she thought.

"Okay," Bellamy sighed, turning to look at her, "If you need forgiveness, I'll give that to you," Those familiar words, though slightly comforting, were not what she needed to hear, "You're forgiven."

Clarke said nothing. So much had happened

"Please come inside…"

"Take care of them for me," Clarke was holding back tears at this point.

"Clarke…"

"Seeing their faces every day… It's just going to remind me of what I did to get them here," The hundreds of dead innocent bodies flashed in front of her eyes once again as she spoke.

"What WE did," Bellamy was shaken up, too. He nodded, "You don't have to do this alone."

Clarke could barely see from the tears she was desperately trying to hold back. Looking back out at her friends and family, and her home, one last time. The horrid image came back to her mind once again.

"I bear it so they don't have to." The idea that no one else felt this made her feel relieved and depressed at the same time.

Bellamy sighed, defeated, "Where are you gonna go?"

Clarke didn't even think about that,"…I don't know," Anywhere but here, she thought.

She kissed his cheek and hugged him tightly, knowing that this may be the last time she ever saw him again.

"May we meet again," She said just above a whisper, her voice shaking. Before she could stop herself, her mind let her jump to someone else's face. Someone who she trusted, someone who betrayed her. Someone who said those exact words before leaving her. The thought of that someone was pushed out as soon as it entered.

She couldn't do this anymore. Without looking at Bellamy, or back at her home, she pulled back from the hug and began walking into the woods, finally letting her tears fall.

Bellamy's feet stayed planted to the ground, "May we meet again," he whispered. He tried not to look back at her, but when he finally did, she had already disappeared into the woods.

That had happened two weeks ago. It felt like yesterday.

Clarke had been wandering through the forest for two weeks. Finding her own food and shelter was difficult, and she only had the protection of a gun with limited bullets. She tried not to use it, she didn't want to waste the ammo. The first week was the hardest. Clarke went hungry for days. She thought about going back home so many times, and every time she considered it, that awful image came back to her mind. It was like her memories were haunting her.

Clarke sat down and rested her back against a tree, feeling tired from walking so far. She closed her eyes, and let her body relax, feeling the heat of the sun against her face. Everything hurt. Her back was aching from two weeks of laying on the ground, her feet ached from walking. She was covered in dirt and grime. She had given up on bathing in the lake, in fear that the same snake like monster that had attacked Octavia was waiting for her. She felt weak. She was visibly skinnier. The stress and fear from living out here was beginning to show on her face. She just wanted to rest. As soon as her eyes closed, her mind began to wander. She thought about the dreams she usually has. Sometimes, she would keep herself awake at night, afraid that if she fell asleep the awful memories of what happened at Mount Weather would visit her in a nightmare.

She could only be awake for so long, though; Sleep would get to her. And when it did, her nightmares would be worse than the actual memories. She would wake up in tears, or screaming. Or both.

Those weren't the only dreams she had, though.

She also had a recurring dream- about someone. Someone she dared not to say her name. In the dream Clarke was in someone's tent. It was the same scene that happened in real life, when that someone had kissed her.

"Maybe life should be more than just surviving. Don't we deserve that?"

"Maybe we do."

Then that someone kissed her. Clarke was not expecting it at all. And was even more surprised when that someone was so soft, and so gentle with her. Clarke immediately felt butterflies and kissed her back, she was afraid that would happen. But Finn. The thought always came to her every time she had this dream. Clarke pulled back. Finn, Finn, Finn. You just lost someone. Finn.

Clarke would try to apologize to that someone, but when she pulled back and opened her eyes, they were in front of Mount Weather, and that someone was covered in blood and war paint.

No…Don't…

"May we meet again," and she walks off, leaving Clarke to fight for her people by herself and killing hundreds of innocent lives. Lexa.

Clarke immediately cursed herself for thinking of her name. She opened her eyes and stood up. If anything, her Lexa dream was worse than her Mount Weather dream. Lexa made Clarke feel something. Clarke trusted her.

Sometimes she thought about forgiving her. Clarke would have done the same thing for her people… maybe. Lexa turned out to be so gentle when she was alone with Clarke… No, you hate her. She left you and you hate her.

She felt her stomach grumble, reminding her of the last time she ate. She picked up her hand-made spear, and began walking to search for food. Again.

She wasn't very successful in the hunting department…like at all. She always ended up settling for berries, (the first time she ate them she prayed they weren't poisonous, eating berries made her extremely stressed out) but her pride always made her think she could hunt and kill something if she tried hard enough.

She heard something crunching a few feet away from her. She looked up, her eyes trying to follow the sound. It was behind a tree. This could be her first full meal in two weeks.

She walked as quietly as she could, which wasn't very quiet. Every time a branch would snap or leaves would crunch she winced. Whatever it was, it ran off. "I'm never gonna find anything."

"YU BRANWADA!" Clarke heard a deep voice screech. An arrow wizzed by her and hit a tree behind her, missing her head by literally centimeters. Without another second to think Clarke's began running in the opposite direction. Her feet couldn't move faster than her brain wanted them to. She made a bee line through the trees, panting hard as she ran. Running was tiring her out, it was making her weaker. Did I lose him? Another arrow flew by her face, barely missing her again. Nope.

That language... She's being chased by a grounder. Was she in grounder territory? Clarke gasped as another arrow flew by her. She couldn't run fast enough.

"Ah!" Another arrow hit her in the back if her calf. Clarke fell over and immediately grabbed her leg. She felt the sharp pain spread around the wound. She looked up and saw the grounder racing towards her, he was going to kill her.

Panicking, Clarke pulled out her gun and pointed it at him, "Stop! Please!"