Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Hollyoaks!
Summary: Brendan sings to Ste while he sleeps. One-shot.
Sing To You
Brendan lay in bed shirtless, dozing from time to time but still unable to sleep. He glanced over at the alarm clock: Two am. Sighing, Brendan attempted to re-arrange his body to make himself more comfortable while trying to avoid disturbing the peaceful sleeping figure beside him. Stephen mumbled something in his sleep, making Brendan smile. It felt so good to have him here and to feel his lithe body against his own. Most of it all it felt good to have him where Brendan could keep an eye on him; could protect him from all of the terrible things in the world, from all of the terrible things they had done themselves.
They had had quite a thorough evening; time apart could do that to people. Stephen had burst through his door and grabbed at Brendan desperately, stripping him completely of his clothes. Things had been sour between them lately; sure they had talked a little but the situation between them was highly uncomfortable and awkward. Brendan had been overwhelmed by Stephen's presence; clasping him tightly to his body, pressing against him with an eagerness he had never felt the necessity of before.
They never even made it to the bedroom for the first time. Lying on the floor together they both laughed and looked at each other, leaning in for a kiss. It confirmed everything that had just happened. Stephen was back; Stephen was his once more. Brendan wasn't inclined to let him go again.
Perhaps that was why he couldn't sleep. Maybe he was scared that if he closed his eyes, Stephen would disappear and all of this would just be a dream. Brendan brushed his fingers gently against Stephen's cheek. He certainly felt real. It was natural to Brendan to believe that the people he loved would eventually leave him.
His father had done it first. Brendan remembered that last night before he left their lives. Brendan hadn't been able to sleep then either. He was only young and he was restless. Something didn't feel quite right and yet he was too young at the time to make sense of it. His parents had shouted a lot that night but Brendan had blocked out their sounds with his hands pressed firmly over his ears, rocking himself back and forth trying to pretend it wasn't happening.
His father had peered into his room whilst Brendan was tossing and turning in his bed. He had smiled at him and walked inside, closing the door.
"Can't sleep, Bren?" He had said gently, sitting on the edge of Brendan's bed.
"Nope" Brendan had said sulkily.
"Something the matter?" His father had asked inquisitively, raising his eyebrows.
"It's nothing…" Brendan had muttered, sinking beneath his covers.
"Tell me" His father commanded firmly. Brendan obeyed; a rare occurrence except when his father was concerned.
"Ye and Ma were arguing earlier, I heard ye" Brendan said, his head beneath the covers.
His father sighed, pulling the covers off of him. "That's nothing for ye to worry about, alright?" He said softly, brushing the hair from Brendan's forehead as he was wont to do.
Brendan opened his mouth but closed it again. He didn't like arguing with his father. It never ended well.
His father nodded, satisfied. "Now, let's see if we can help ye get some sleep. Close ye eyes"
Brendan did so, trying to relax. His father began to hum softly and eventually started to sing. Brendan didn't recognise the words so he assumed it was another of his father's creations.
My dear boy, it's time to rest, time to dream,
Of a thousand ways I can make you happy,
Make you safe, make you see that all I do,
Everything I strive for, I do for you.
I might not always be around,
But always in your heart, in your soul I will exist,
I'll always watch over you, distance holds no meaning to me,
Happiness and love you will always find, wherever I will be.
So I say to you, my perfect boy,
Dream sweetly, and always true
Time holds no meaning, when you love someone,
As I do, you
Present day Brendan found himself singing along in time to his memory. It didn't hold the same meaning as it did for his father to him, as it did for himself to Stephen. His father was singing about family, and never losing that bond of love, whatever the distance. Singing it now, and thinking of Stephen, Brendan felt as though the song could also relate to his love for Stephen and how he would never cease to love him, whatever might happen between them to keep them apart.
Brendan felt tears in his eyes and hastily wiped them away. He smiled down at Stephen, who was curled up into a ball as he often did in his sleep. Bending down, Brendan gently kissed Stephen's hair, allowing his lips to linger there.
He was glad that Stephen had been asleep for his emotional flashback; Brendan hated the vulnerability of it all; hated his father for leaving that night and for making Brendan so paranoid to allow himself to love people, to believe that they wouldn't leave him. How could they not when the one person who was supposed to be there for him, was supposed to protect him, had left? It made Brendan want to look after people himself, keep them safe. More than anything it prevented him from allowing himself to get too attached. He would always hold back just that little bit; hide a part of himself that no one was allowed to see.
But now that he had found Stephen, everything had changed. Stephen had laid everything out on the table; had told Brendan outright that he wanted to be with him, that he loved him. He had persisted him, he had pushed him away, lashed out, ignored him, moved on. Brendan could relate; he understood it all too well. But Stephen had come back. Despite everything he had stormed back into Brendan's life, declaring himself and his feelings to him and claiming what he rightfully believed was his.
"I love you, I can't change it, I can't hide from it anymore. I can't not be with you" He had said before Brendan had kissed him again.
It made all the difference.
Stephen mumbled again in his sleep. "Love you" it sounded like. Brendan smiled again.
Yes, that was it now. He tightened his grasp on Stephen. He wasn't going anywhere this time and neither was Brendan. Humming again, Brendan shifted himself so that he was curled around Stephen, his arm across his waist, his lips by his neck. Stephen shifted a little to accommodate him but slept on. Brendan's humming ceased after a while as he found himself finally drifting off to sleep.