This is intended to be a parody of not just AU fanfictions but ALL fanfictions. Recently I noticed that there are tons of fanfiction where the group goes to shikon high... okay it was original when one person did it but after 25 it's not so original... there's an over amout of pop star!Inuyasha and model!Kagome... so I was bored one day and thought "why not write this peice of... stuff."

so enjoy I hope please don't take too much offence hopefully everyone will love the ending I have planned for this... when you're done with the chapter leave a review please. I've put all thoughts by Kagome in italics simply because I'm forcing her to think a lot.

I don't own anything and yadda yadda yadda

One day the billionaire-playboy-model-slash-pop-singing-sensation-slash-everyday-highschool girl Kagome Higarishi begin walking down the road looking for the plot line.

"I know I left it around here somewhere." She became lost in deep thought… "Aren't I supposed to be on a seemingly-never-ending quest to collect all the shards of the shikon jewel and kill a seemingly un-killable evil demon named Naraku. And was I not accompanied by a short fused half-demon, a young fox kit, a perverted monk and demon slayer and said demon slayer's two tailed cat? The school girl part seems to be about right but wasn't I only in middle school? I wonder when I became a play-boy model or when I moved to America or when I became a pop singer." she shook her head "Oh well I suppose after a while there's not much a fanfiction writer can come up for that scenario, well it's not like I have a choice in things in this fanfiction so I'll just go with the flow." With that she skipped away to the nearest book-store, being the pop star-model-school girl she was obviously there weren't many people who stopped her to harass her.

"Inuyasha it's you!" she waved to the white-haired-puppy-eared boy, he looked very hot in his slightly faded jeans and casual black t-shirt. He smiled and waved back.

This is not the Inuyasha I know and love, and why doesn't anyone care that he has dog ears, and where the hell did he get those clothes and more importantly what the heck is going on with the fanfiction and why have I used the word hell so many times already?

"Must be the writer's intentions." Kagome mumbled this with a sigh, she had no choice but to do and say everything the fanfiction parody writer wanted, she realize now… she had lost.

"Hey Kagome, are you still coming to the baby murder car crashing death fest of tears and music concert with everyone?"

The writer insisted that Kagome nod and smile at Inuyasha's question. Then the writer made Kagome ask "Is your brother coming too this time?"

WHAT? Why would I ask that I know they hate each other there's no way that he would ever, and what is this concert crap about shouldn't he be talking about finding jewel shards?

"Yeah he wouldn't miss it for the world this time even if his cancer did relapse."

Sesshoumaru has cancer?

"But he's doing better right?"

"Yeah, I think all the nude posing we did tougher with you as a photographer helped."

They did WHAT? And I took… no… no no no and NO.

"Kagome…" Inuyasha tried vain attempts to get her attention

"Ka-go-me!" he hissed sounding a bit more like himself "what-the-hell-is going on here-" it seemed hard for him to talk, Kagome realized he must be trying to go against the writer's plot "what is this con-cert and this can-cer? And why would I want to do anything with Sesshoumaru? More importantly why is it so… so hard for me to say." He paused and bit his lip a bit "Fuck… or." Another pause. "Damn."

Kagome found it hard to talk about it as well but still tried. "I think someone's writing an alternate universe fanfiction with us again, you know the kind where we're all pretty much completely different besides our names? Like the ones with me as a princess and you a servant, or the ones where we all go to shikon high? Some writer wanted to write a fanfiction but couldn't come up with anything to take place in our original plot so they cooked up a new one."

"Okay then." Inuyasha sighed "How do we get back to our plot."

Kagome laughed a bit "Well see I'm not really sure how, I think we have to play along and do what the writer wants, when the story's over and the reviews are all in everything should be back to normal."

"Why can't I just kill someone to get us out?"

"Well it might have been possible is the narrator was in the story but since the narrator isn't in the story and you don't have a sword in this fanfiction, there's not much that can be done." Her wrist felt strange she looked at it and scowled "I'm open to suggestions; apparently this writer wants me to be a cutter."

"What's a cutter?" Inuyasha's ears twitched in confusion

"It's complicated to explain. This is probably one of those 'Kagome gets abused when no one's looking' fanfictions" Kagome sighed "Let's just go see if we can find the others, and the plot."

The parody writer became bored of tormenting the two of them so she decided it was time to bother Miroku and Sango who were walking home after staying late at shikon high for detention.

"Miroku, this is strange, you haven't done anything perverted all day and I don't get how we're here. I've wanted to point out how weird it all was earlier but the writer kept stopping me until now."

"It must be because this fanfiction is a parody of most alternate universe fanfictions where we're all put into weird situations and usually pretty out of character… kind of like the plot line from a movie with us as characters." Miroku stared at his hand, where was his wind tunnel and why hadn't he touched Sango's butt yet? He would have to try, to him it seemed that maybe if he broke the writer's wishes and touched Sango's butt things could easily go back to normal.

He couldn't move a bit. The monk was now a very displeased monk… but on the bright side of things this 'school-girl-Sango' was in a mini skirt, a pleasing sight indeed.

"So I guess we should try to find the others, maybe that's all we have to do to get out of here." Sango suggested

"I'm not so sure remember that this is a parody fanfiction. A conclusion like that might only come from a more serious comedy fiction."

"So Miroku, let's go meet Kagome and Inuyasha and the others at the hot tub!" Sango chirped… what was she saying? Now she couldn't control the words coming form her mouth.

"Ah a great idea!" though Miroku would have probably said this had he known what a hot tub was.

Now the writer was yet again bored. Time to manipu- erm… see what Sesshoumaru was up to. After all being a billionaire-school-boy-king-model with cancer had to be interesting. His cousin that he happened to be baby-sitting Rin walked into the room with his butler Jocken.

Sesshoumaru stared at the narrator slash writer, whom he couldn't really stare at since she was kind of more or less a random voice that well… narrated things.

"What kind of alternate universe parody fanfiction is this?" he then realized he had answered his own question. The writer then saw it fit to get Sesshoumaru to go into his hot tub and wait for his friends to come along. After all nothing brings in the reviews like a nearly-naked Sesshoumaru, of course he would be in the hot tube with only his fluff and a pair of shorts on.

Sesshoumaru of course, was not pleased by this, in fact he was down right annoyed that this fanfiction writer had the nerve to try and manipulate him. When this story was over, he would show her.

"Will you please stop narrating my every thought and movement?" Sesshoumaru asked, of course with in a few words he knew that the writer did not intend to stop.

With the use of deus ex machina the writer slash narrator made all the other characters automatically appear in Sesshoumaru's hot tub. Sesshoumaru sighed "You have got to be kidding me."

The writer slash narrator sipped on her raspberry flavored water and turned her computer chair to put what was left of her drink back in the refrigerator, she quickly realized she wasn't supposed to narrate her own life in this fanfiction and went back to work.

"Ok… what the heck…" Inuyasha stopped for a second, he never had to keep anything PG in his life and he wasn't about to start now just for the whims of the writer. "What the hell are we all doing here and why the fuck is everyone wearing next to no clothing?"

It seemed to be getting harder for him to break the fourth wall the writer's power must be getting stronger as the fanfiction continued.

"Ah well there you are my friends! Now Inuyasha why don't you give your big bro a hug it's been so long since I've seen you." Sesshoumaru had no control over the words coming out of his mouth or over the hug he was forcing on Inuyasha.

"How's the cancer going?" Inuyasha's voice was full of concern

Oh no, this means the writer's powers are getting stronger as the fanfiction progresses.

Kagome's thoughts pointed out the obvious that had already been pointed out once before in this fanfiction.

"I think I might have finally beaten it once and for all, how's the modeling job going?"

"Great as usual." Inuyasha gagged and mumbled something about murdering everyone who dared to speak of this.

"This is a real problem, this alternate universe fanfiction is beginning to make us go against out own nature." Sango said this while running her hands down Miroku's back

"Now, now some aspects aren't all bad." Miroku smiled, though he was still unable to touch Sango's butt as he so desired to do.

"Hey, hey hey Kagome!" Koga moved closer to Kagome "What did I tell you about leaving the house?" Koga was shocked by his own words and threatningness of his voice.

This must be a Koga is abusive fanfiction.

Kagome sighed, she might as well let the writer have her say what was needed to progress the plot. "I'm sorry Koga; I'll never do it again."

"Damn straight you won't."

"You should leave Kagome alone!" Hojo happened to be nearby "I want to be a main character in this alternate universe fanfiction, in order to do so I cannot be my usual obvious self. Kagome I cannot believe that you would hang around jackasses like these." Now it seemed the writer intended to use abusive Hojo but the writer decided against it, she didn't want this story to become too annoying. Once again with the use of deus ex machine the writer decided to get to the plot of the parody. She also decided it was high time she stopped breaking the fourth wall and that it probably wasn't funny anymore, but some things can't really be helped.

The annoying insert-know-it-all character was now talking "I am going to explain to all of you, how to survive an alternate universe parody fanfiction." The writer forced everyone to nod and pay attention.

"Number one rule, beating the crap out of things usually won't get you anywhere. If it would you'd have weapons in this fiction, and as you probably already noticed…well you don't."

"I still have my claws." Inuyasha mumbled but he was unable to use them since the writer slash narrator wouldn't let him.

The insert character sighed, it wasn't much of a sue trying so he left, never to be used as a plot device ever again.

"This is pretty messed up." Shippo stared at all the people around him "I mean usually I do a lot of talking but this is my first set of lines in this fanfiction." Kirara blinked "I'll say chapter one is almost over and there still isn't a clear plot."

"Since when could you talk?" Sango stared a her pet

"Since I sold my soul to the writer slash narrator, I love you mine fuhrer!"

Well this chapter hasn't gotten us anywhere.

Will the writer slash narrator put the cast of Inuyasha through even more hell? Will Inuyasha and the others find a way out of this? Will Kagome stop being a cutter?

Uhhh hell-lo writer person that was your idea for this alternate universe parody

Will Kagome stop interrupting me with her thoughts? And more importantly will Kirara get my pizza to me on time?

You'll have to wait for chapter two to find all that out and chapter two can only come with reviews.

well... you heard the evil writer... review already.