Summary: He said, "To me, you're a special woman." So she gave herself to him over & over just not fully. Was that why he couldn't stay loyal? Why he broke her heart? It wasn't fair, but she blamed herself for the horrible web they were tangled in. Limes/Lemon. Two-piece.
.{.Oh, the Web We've Weaved.}.
{.x.}
He said, "To me, you're a special woman," and the world stopped for a moment before swirling around to make the taijiya's head twirl, she barely even heard the added, "I guess."
He had told her, "I never thought I would treasure and trust a girl so much."
Her heart had soared so high in the sky that she was certain she had reached heaven; she was in a blissful haze as he finally asked her the question he had often beseeched on others, "will you bear my children?"
"Yes!" She had said without second thought; of course it took no time for him to essentially ruin the encounter. That was the moment she should have known he'd shatter her heart, if he could not even muster up a single word to deny that he wouldn't continue to fraternize with other females.
Though, she refused to allow it to break the precious time. Instead, she rested her head upon his shoulder and smiled.
But how much of what he said could be taken as truth? They were comrades in battle but he had assured her that not until Naraku was dead and his curse gone could he think of her as a woman, for the time being she was but an alley. Was that his justification for her flirtation? It was harmless, as least she was certain he thought so and generally it did not lead to anything more than some giggles and slaps for his wandering hand.
That didn't make it easier on her, perhaps she should not have said yes, perhaps she would have been better off if she sheltered her heart and willed it harder against the notion of falling for the charmer…
"Sango?" His voice was so soothing, so charismatic and pleasant; it was one of the many features that delighted her. But she had stiffened from it instead of melting, she wouldn't be another flimsy female for him to manipulate like putty in his hands. At least… that's what she told herself.
"Yes, Houshi-sama?" She replied with a rather weak attempt at a smile as she pushed off the futon she received for the night, thanks to him and his deceitful ways with the inn keeper, to turn and look at the door he had yet to open.
"Can we talk?"
"Yes," she nodded before giving him the permission he sought, "come in."
It took a moment longer than it should have for him to reach out and open it, did he know then that it was a bad idea? When the door opened though he had his usual subtle smile on as he stepped in before shutting it, she lifted her knees up to her chest to loosely wrap them around.
"What is it, Houshi-sama?"
"You seemed," he paused for a moment as he shifted weight in from one foot to the other while he mulled over the proper term, "unhappy tonight, at dinner."
The dinner that they received only because he lied about exercising the inn of ill spirits they did not have just like the room she had all to herself, all lies with sweet rewards. "Did I?" She mused as she shook her head lightly, thought it could have had a little something to do with the two pretty daughters of the inn keepers and his constant courting though he did not go as far as to ask either to bare his child, at least not while she was in the room. She had lost her appetite and left before the others to retire early for the night.
"You did," he confirmed as he cautiously walked over to kneel down beside her, placing his Shakujou staff to the side.
Well, now that that was settled she didn't see the point in continuing the conversation. So she turned to tell him she wished to sleep only to be struck by the rather serious façade that he held, "Houshi-sama…?"
"Sango," for some reason, the way he said her name enchanted her. He had a way of making it seem as if it were precious, as if she was truly the only special someone in his life. Even if that was but an illusion, it caused her to relax. "What is the matter?"
You are, seemed too harsh so she didn't dare say it. Instead she put on a synthetic smile, "I'm just tried, that's all. We haven't received a proper night's rest in a long while."
"Ah, is that all?" He mumbled as he looked away, "then I should allow you to sleep."
"Thank you for worrying about me, Hosuhi-sama."
"Sango," again, just to hear him say her name made her heart skip a beat. The way he smiled as he looked back to her caused a clench to hold it stilled even longer, "I always worry about you."
She was certain all the blood rushed to her cheeks then but she couldn't turn away, she didn't want to let her eyes leave his endless violets. Never had she fancied herself a weak woman, but around him that's all she felt—helpless, that her front, her strength, was withered and cast aside for him to see deeper within her than she would have liked.
"Good night," he nodded as he began to stand, but without thought she reached out to grab his robe. It stopped him, froze him, before he knelt down fully once more to look at him oddly.
"I…" she choked as she retracted her hand to grasp it in her other and look away. Why did she do that? She had no intention to, she hadn't willed herself to, at least her mind had played no part in it…
Then he asked, "would you like me to stay?"
It was a simple question but laced with so much more, it was the first step to a series that she would learn to regret… all the same, she told him, "yes."
It appeared as if he held an internal debate within himself, a swift one at that, whether he should oblige her or not but regardless he did.
In the end, he stayed the night. Alone, with her… she barely got any sleep as he shared the futon with her. To her surprise, his hand did not wander where it shouldn't, as she had feared it may, not while she was awake at least.
{.x.}
"Again," Sango mumbled while her fingers began to dance around the blades of grass for a means of amusement.
"Hm?" Her companion replied as he rested upon the hill next to her, his eyes long ago shut.
"It's just," she started slowly before sighing once more and wrapping her arms around her lifted legs, "I don't know…"
"You do," he countered, "or else you wouldn't have said anything."
She pressed her lips together before glancing down to the lying man, "does it bother you?"
"Kagome-sama returning to home like she does?" he guessed as he finally opened his violets to look up at her, "is that what you mean?"
She nodded, it sure bothered her. It was a waste of time, in her opinion. All of her friend's 'school' and 'tests' only slowed them, they needed to kill Naraku so they did not have time to waste like this. It wasn't purely for revenge's sake that she wanted to hurry along their way; she needed to find her brother—he was all that she had left in the world. And… her eyes shifted over the man beside her before glancing up to the pink and purple sky. He needed Naraku dead or else…
So why, why did Kagome continue to go to her era? Why did they have to wait around for her?
"I understand," he assured her, "sometimes… it gets to me but more often than naught I understand it. Kagome-sama has a family to return, another life, a happier one. We don't have that."
"She does," she sighed.
"She'll be back shortly and it is nice to have a rest. Inuyasha has gone to retrieve her," Miroku reminded her.
"Well, it's also night and they have yet to return, I have a feeling he has gotten side-tracked there once more."
"I do wonder what it is that always does that to him," he smirked.
"Hentai," she accused, "it is probably something innocent like endless ramen. Kagome-chan says that her younger… brother," she paused for a second, "really likes Inuyasha and that he has grown fond of him, too. And that her mother likes Inuyasha a great deal, so it is probably that."
"Of course, that's all," he replied with a grin as he pushed off the ground to sit up, "you miss Kohaku, don't you?"
"Of course," she mumbled with a shrug.
"I'm sorry you have to endure all this. I'm sure it is hard to wait to be reunited but you will Sango," he couldn't have emphasized that more as his gaze met with hers.
"Do you really believe that, Houshi-sama?" She whispered. A glimmer of hope in her mahogany orbs.
"I do," he smiled, it was only a fraction of a movement on his part, just a slight lean towards her to give her the wrong impression, to make her heart light up and speed to pump more and more blood through her and redden her cheeks as she, too, leaned towards him.
They were only a fraction apart as their eyes searched the others for an answer to the question that plagued both of them—is this right?
Sango thought so, she wanted it to occur, to have one kiss—her first kiss—with the man that would become her husband. If they both lived, that was… so she shut her eyes and closed the gap. Surprisingly enough, it was completely innocent, just lips to lips. It was he, though, that pulled away.
Was there a glimmer of regret in his violets? That was enough to kill all the joy she had and stop her heart.
Still, he mustered up a smile for her and turned his attention to the kitsune that was calling out for them.
{.x.}
"Be more careful, you are losing more and more time with each foolish mistake," his mentor had scolded in a way the old drunk only could to pierce right threw his front and strike fear in his heart.
"How long?" he had muttered in return as he examined the hand that was once again operated on. It had never hurt like that before; he could feel the massive gap in the midst of his palm that shot out more and more.
"I can't say with complete certainty… but there is little more I can do for you now. Miroku, stop using it unless absolutely necessary or you will not live to see the death of that monster," Mushin had lectured him, for the first time in his memory the man that had raised him as his own seemed completely sober—it only made the horror strike him deeper. "You don't even have an heir, the curse will die with you along with your chance at redeem your family's honor."
"I know," he had whispered. Nothing could sooth the dread that ate away from within, he had always been fearful of death and whatever it held even thought it had been hanging over his head since birth. Now that he was so close… he tried his best to drown out such thoughts, the terrible terror, by meditating under the roaring falls like he had so many times before. Usually, it had worked, almost always in fact but this time…
This time, it didn't work at all. The chilling water that drenched him to the bone couldn't freeze his mind like he had hoped. No matter how long he sat there he could not clear his mind. It was miserable… he was failing his forefathers in more ways than one. Not only would it appear that he would not be the son to destroy Naraku but… he did not have an heir to carry on the duty. If things ended such as they were, his family would end with him but so would his curse—and was that such a bad thing?
But where was his ancestral honor? Did he not own it to them to produce the heir that would carry on the task?
He sighed deeply as he exited the falls to find his robes in the room that had been his as a child. Would he live his son with Mushin, too? Yes, if he ever had one. He knew the old drunk could raise a child properly, he turned out fine. But what happens to his son once Mushin dies? Would he pass on the trait of tending to the curse to someone else, so his son would have someone to turn to at times like these? He hoped.
His shoulders sagged as he discarded his wet white robes to begin to tie the first knot. That was when a knock on the door caught his attention. "Who is it?"
"It's me, Houshi-sama."
Sango… he sped his task until he had the final knot of his black robe completed, "you may come in now."
There was a pause on her end this time before the door opened enough for her to step all the way in; her eyes were to the wall instead of him as she shut it to lean against.
"Is there something the matter, Sango?" he inquired as he bent down to grab his purple robe to begin to tie.
"I was thinking," she began cautiously as she pushed off the door to walk up to him, gently she pushed his fumbling hands away to aid him, "how Houshi-sama has done so much for all of us thus far but at great peril to himself…"
"It's fine," he assured, "I will be fine."
"That's a lie," she muttered, finally allowing her eyes to meet his, "you won't be with the way you act. Mushin-sama told me that you don't…"
"Sango," he sighed as he pushed her hands away before she could finish the knot she was halfheartedly working on, "he has been wrong before, all will be fine, don't worry—"
"Houshi-sama," she snapped, causing him to freeze, "do not lie to me."
He meant to say something charming or clever in response but each time he parted his lips nothing formed. He had never seen her so determined outside the battle field, "Sango…"
"Stay," she whispered as she loosely linked her fingers in front of her, "rest, we'll take care of everything else."
"Are you asking me not to go on? To stay to the side and allow the rest of you to fight Naraku without me?"
"Yes," she simply stated.
"I can't do that, I won't," he shook his head as he tied the final knot roughly.
"Houshi-sama—"
"I understand your concern," Miroku interrupted, "but I want to see this to the end."
"Your end," she muttered, he flinched from that and she looked away.
"Do you not have faith in my abilities, Sango?"
She shook her head and sighed as she stepped away, "that's not the point."
"I think it is."
"You know it's not," she retorted with a glare, "you could stay here and live longer, giving us more time to kill Naraku. You come with us, you'll have less time, we'll have less time…"
Why and how she found the effort to worry about him when she already had so much on her shoulders was beyond him, "I'm coming."
"Stubborn man," she scoffed as she folded her arms and turned to him once more, "is it your pride or something else?"
"I think it's only logical that I want to take part in the destruction of Naraku, what would you say if I asked you stay behind and allow the rest of us to save your brother?"
"I'm not dying," she replied in a hush as her stare sank down to his cursed limb. Gradually, she walked back up to him to take his freshly tended to hand. Delicately she lifted it up in both of hers as he froze; the sorrowful expression caused a pang to clench around her heart.
"Sango…"
"Houshi-sama still hasn't the heir he wishes for either," she whispered so silently that he almost did not catch it.
"That's true," he swallowed as his violets ventured down to his hand as one of hers gently started to swirl her fingers around his hand.
"If Houshi-sama stays then he could…"
"Sango, please," he muttered as he took his hand away from hers, "I am coming, whether it is a good idea or not. I can't bear the idea of you fighting alone."
"I'm not—"
"You would be," he countered as his gaze shifted to the left wall, "Inuyasha and Kagome-sama are loyal friends and great allies but it is no secret that the most important thing to both is each other, they would never intentionally allow anything to happen to you but in the worst case scenario they would save each other."
"And," her eyes fluttered up to his, "you would save me?"
"And you would save me," he nodded.
"Then promise me something, if I cannot talk you out of coming," she requested.
"If it is within my power I will."
"Do not use your Kazaana unless absolutely necessary to save yourself," she thoroughly beseeched as her firm gaze locked with his, "Mushin-sama told me that you cannot use it until at least the full moon or else it will only tear again. You need time to heal, but after that use it as little as possible, Houshi-sama."
He pressed his lips together as his brows bent together before he looked away, himself?
"Houshi-sama, promise me this," she ordered as she grabbed his arm and shook it lightly to force him to look at her again, "just give me this one thing, please. Promise me, give me your word."
He couldn't stand to stare into her watery mahogany orbs and know it was all by his doing, that she could find it in her fragmented heart to hurt it more for his sake.
"Please, Houshi-sama," she demanded again while she grabbed his other arm to pull him closer, "give me your word."
Instead of giving her that, any sense of ease, he leaned forward and locked lips with her once more. It took a moment before she finally shut her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck. That was when he grabbed her hips and parted her lips as he pulled her closer.
She felt her heart soar once more as she discovered a desire that she did not know she could possess devour her while his tongue twirled in her mouth—she knew he had done so before. He shut his eyes finally as her hands moved down to grasp his shoulders and press her fine figure against his, he grinned into their kiss before his hands wandered from her hips to her rear. Instead of slapping him away she allowed it, so he squeezed and she rose up on her toes as he kissed her deeper.
Her hands wandered up to his still wet locks of ebony to pull him closer with a tight tug, it almost hurt but he didn't care as they stumbled backwards until they hit the wall. They did not break away; he only pushed upon her more until they could not last any longer. They pulled apart to let air flow into their burning lungs. She just barely parted her lids to see his lustful violets examine every bit of her body; she could feel another squeeze behind her.
How many other woman had allowed him to do this?
That caused a terrible clench to crush her heart for a moment as her eyes glanced away from his while her hands moved down to undo the first knot of his purple robes.
"Sango…" he almost seemed weary of the idea, but he made no effort to stop her—and that told her the truth. He wanted her to continue.
"Sh," she replied as she finished the final knot, his purple robes fell before she could reach the black ties.
There was something all together alluring about her undressing him that made his body stiffen all around. She needn't focus her full attention on the task so he brought his lips to hers again as he reluctantly allowed his hands to move away from the sweet spot to part her yukata. It fell to the ground at the same time his robes did. He almost groaned at the task of free her from her tight black youkai slaying outfit.
But then a smirk slid up his lips instead as he led her to lie upon his the futon in the room, his lips pressed to her neck as his hands worked to pry off the outfit.
Finally, she was bare below him. So often he had fantasized about the moment for so long.
And she knew, she thought at least, that this was not his first time like it was hers… that's why she looked away instead of watching as his gaze devoured her.
"Sango," he whispered before his lips met her collarbone to move down to her bosom. He paused for a moment before taking hold of the other with his curse hand—the only still clothed part of either—while his mouth encompassed the other.
She closed her eyes as his other hand wandered down her side and up her inner thighs, nothing but gasped names and soft moans were exchanged as her hands grasped his hair once more.
"Sango," he repeated as he paid heed to her other breast.
"Miroku," she gasped—how many others had said the same thing in the same situation? The thought caused a tear to streak down her cheek as she turned her head away and tightened her shut lids.
They were both alive, that was what the heightened pulse and throbbing need whispered to both as he fully parted her thighs to look down at her. They were alive… and they could together create life.
He froze as he felt a knot form in his stomach, one that wasn't as pleasurable, and swallowed back the need, "Sango, we… can't."
Her eyes shot open at that and swiftly met with his, painful confusion spewed within them, "Houshi-sama?"
Houshi-sama, not Miroku like it was but a few moments again, he smiled weakly as he shook his head, "we can't. I can't ask this of you, not yet."
"What…?"
"Would you be willing to do what you just asked me? To stay here, out of the fight to bear our child? Would we name him Kohaku?" It was her turn to flinch at his words.
"No…"
"I know," he whispered, "that's fine."
"Don't," she whispered as she grabbed his shoulders to keep him from getting up like he meant to.
His eyes shifted across her excruciating expression before they moved down her bare body, as if to engrave the sight into his mind, how could he deny her? Not that he wanted to.
He dipped his head down again, lower this time, to kiss her stomach; she held her breath as he moved further down. "There is a way…" he began but bit his tongue as he kissed her just below the naval.
"F-for?" She stuttered, was it wrong that his touch felt so good to her?
"Intimacy without… worries."
He'd know from experience, she tensed at the thought before she nodded. She wanted to know him like any other woman had. She had to keep him enthralled in her instead of the next pretty thing to walk by… but she could not give herself to him fully, if she had told him 'yes, she would' only a short while ago he would have continued, he would not have stopped but she hadn't…
Once more, he parted her thighs but this time allowed his hand to wander all the way up to her core. She gasped as he inserted a digit to stroke her to trig the delight she had felt building up before. He quickened his pace while he lifted up to take care to pay heed to her breast again.
She had never experienced such throbbing, aching, building pleasure—he seemed so experienced. She gasped as he inserted another digit to double the delight.
At her pinnacle she called out his name, just as he whispered hers into her ear. That was worth the pain, the uncertainty of where his loyalties and love lied.
Over and over again from that day forward she would give into his need to touch her, to kiss her, to hold her, to see her bare below him but never did she allow herself to fully become his, never did he get to penetrate her innocence like she knew he yearned to, and though she was happy each time they ended, each time he whispered her name in her ear, the fear only built up in the end…
Someday, what she was willing to give him would not be good enough… Someday, another would be willing to go where she could not… Someday, that would pull him away from her...
And finally, that day came.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed and please review. I'll have the second and final chapter up within the week hopefully.