The Twilight characters are not of my thought or creations. They are the creative thoughts and dreams of Stephanie Meyer. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without expressive writing guaranteed by the writer, ©2011 Scarlett Valencia (E.).
All rights reserved worldwide.
Many thanks to my incredible friend/Beta: This Guilty Blood. Not only does she know how to handle sentences but also a whip when things don't go to plan. Ciao and enjoy xo
The printing for the ads needs to be done, ASAP. On that note, call George.
Must get the marketing and advertising team, to make something up with a creative jiggle for the company that just hired us. Something to do with, 'munch' or 'crunch'.
Need to call Edward.
"Oh baby."
Respond.
"Mmph I like that... Oh...Your big cock..."
Faker.
Also, have to call Edward about the journals that Sophia was meant to pick up; they were meant to be at the office yesterday. I'll bet she hasn't done them again.
Will need to seek someone else to do the run.
"Oh Baby... You feel so good."
Respond.
"Mmmmm, you too."
Ohmygod, is that a cobweb in the corner over my bed? Damn, I seriously need to hire someone to clean my apartment. I wonder if Alice knows anyone?
Also, confirm appointment with, Business League, and see how they want their PR work to be handled. That's if they have any ideas on what they want. Idiots.
Also, need to confirm lunch date with Alice.
"Oh Bella... You feel so fucking good, nice and tight. Like a balloon."
Don't think about him mentioning that your coot feels like a balloon...
"Tyler... Oh god. Fuck me harder, you nasty man whore!"
Man whore? That's an original one for you, Bella.
"Tyler... Oh god, I think I'm nearly there. Fuck me harder!"
" Fucking Jesus... Bella." Tyler gritted through his teeth before pumping even harder.
"Fuck baby."
And... Five; Four; Three; Two... One.
Let out a moan and clench vagina muscles with repetition, breaking for five seconds between each tightening.
"Captain Tyler is ready for takeoff."
Pull fake orgasm face, clench muscles and… shudder.
I clenched my muscles and lifted my back off the bed as if I was trying to do some type of yoga position and let out a massive scream. If I had been an actress, I'd have been nominated for an Oscar, for most realistic effect.
Panting heavily as if I had just run in a marathon, I looked up into the face of my fuck buddy of eight months and proceeded to watch Tyler pull a face before groaning loudly in my ear. With the combination of ear ringing, fake orgasmic, vagina exercises and not wanting to hear Tyler fart, I was ready to get out and get in the shower.
However, the plans changed when a heavy body slumped on top of mine. It felt like I was being smothered by a breathing wall of bricks.
I tapped Tyler on the back, to remind him that someone was in fact still under him and that I couldn't breathe; he murmured an apology before pulling out roughly.
That's going to hurt in the morning while you're pissing razor blades, I thought wincing as he slumped next to me on the bed. He covered his eyes with a forearm, then let out a moan that sounded like it had travelled up from his toes.
I rolled quickly onto my side, hoping it would send a sign that there was to be none of the cuddly bullshit that he had been trying to do for the past few weeks. Once I was settled comfortably, I close my eyes and feign slowly fall asleep, thinking about how nice it would feel having an orgasm that wasn't battery operated; or manual.
The real bullet to the head was that everyone I knew had partners who not only could make their toes curl, but their legs feel like jelly three days later. Unintentionally, they seemed to remind me that my sex life, (or lack of) sucked like lemons between the sheets while they got to be ridden to kingdom come and back.
Then to seal the cut with super glue, they glowed for days or weeks after. Assholes.
Sadly, in my household, my lemons were somewhat less… satisfying. They all followed a mundane routine…Tyler moans and groans about wanting to get his rocks off, I finally give in. and fucks me…blandly. I fake orgasm while he gets off on a real one. Oh, and all this usually takes a grand total of five minutes, from the time I enter the bedroom, to rolling over onto my side.
Talk about going for gold!
Hearing the snap of the condom as it's tied and tissues being pulled out from the box, I keep my eyes closed when the light is snapped on and Tyler presses his sticky, cum wet, lower body against mine.
"Baby, you still awake?" He whispers heavily into my ear.
"Go Away! No one is here… So FUCK OFF!" Would have been what the sign would have said, if there had been one attached to the back of my head.
"Baby?" he tried again, only this time in that whiney voice men get when they suspect you really aren't asleep.
"Tyler," I moan, rolling over and peering at him through my eyelashes. "I have had a busy day at work and now all I want to do is get some sleep."
Lame excuse, I know but it's not like I could come out and openly say: "I have to fuck myself with a vibrator since you came too quickly, that and the fact your tiny cock can't, won't and doesn't do the job properly.
"Well I've had a busy day too, you know," he whines, making me cringe at the sound. "Working behind a bar all day long can get pretty boring, if you ever bothered to ask me. Which you don't. Because you are either working away on your laptop after we make love, taking phone calls from God knows who. And your sister is constantly forcing you to go out with her to clubs to pick up men."
He paused to take a breath and I suspect, to wipe away tears. "You never seem to ask how my day is because we are always talking about how your day was." More silence followed, broken by a sniff and more skin encountering wet skin. "What happened to it just being us?"
The inner voice in my mind started screaming: There never was an 'us'. Just you and I, having a quick fuck. And what I mean by a quick fuck, is you out of me and my house in under ten minutes.
Sighing heavily, I pulled the cover up to my chest and sat up in bed. Leaning against the headboard and staring down at my feet, I watched my toes wriggle underneath the white sheet before turning to look at Tyler.
"You knew what the conditions were going to be like when we first agreed to this. You knew that there wasn't going to be a relationship of any kind or anything permanent. It was merely you and I agreeing to be fuck buddies, while we casually saw other people. As such, we were both booty calls to one another."
With Tyler talking about there being an 'us', a future and his clear jealousy over me seeing other people; our casual fuck buddy time had come to an end. That not only frustrated me because I was going to become 'the wicked witch with a capital B', but also it fucked me off. We had both discussed what 'casual fuck buddies' meant, and that nothing was going to come out of this.
At the end of the day it would only be, he and I parting ways.. No broken feelings, and therefore, no broken hearts. But in this case, someone was going to walk away with a broken heart and it wasn't going to be me.
"I know we had conditions to begin with, but I don't want to be fuck buddies anymore. I am over that and I want something more permanent in my life. I want to freely call you my girlfriend without you cutting my balls off."
Just hearing that had sealed the final deal for me. Shoving back the sheet and getting out of bed, I walked over to my dressing gown and threw it on; so when it came time, I wouldn't be standing there naked.
"Tyler, I am too young to be in a serious relationship," I told him, yanking the sash around my waist and tying it in a bow. "I know where serious relationships end up and I am not interested in that right now."
Tyler stared at me as if I had just confessed that I was into girl on girl action and I'd decided on becoming a lesbian in the last two seconds. "But, you're only 25. That's not young by some people's standard."
"And sometimes, you act like you're going on sixteen rather than twenty two," I snarled. Letting out a sigh and briefly closing my eyes, he shrugged what I had just said off when I looked at him.
"Look, Ty," I felt horrible for what I was about to say, but I had to say it. "What you are looking for and wanting, you won't...aren't going to find it here. And for that, I am truly sorry."
At least you let the poor critter down somewhat gently. The voice told me, it reminded me faintly of what my grandmother would have said at a moment like this.
Tyler's face crumbled and a look of pain and insecurity flashed across his face, I sat down on the edge of the bed and took his hand in mine.
Looking him in the eye and squeezing his hand, I apologised before telling him that I just wasn't ready for something serious. It wasn't long before he swung his legs out of bed and padded across the floor, closing the door of the ensuite behind him, I waited for the water to go on before I picked up my phone and quickly emailed my sister.
To: DrGreenEyes
From: Bella Swan,
Private Email Account
CEO Red Swans PR Incorp.
Date: Tuesday, 15th Novemeber 2011
Subject: Ducks in the Hen House
Just wanted to tell you, Duck is out of hen house and moving back into Duck house. Don't call, am going to bed.
B.
After putting my phone back down on the table, I got up from the bed and stripped off the sheets so I wouldn't have any reminders to look at. Quickly I shoved them into the washing machine added powder and closed the door behind me.
When I was done, I looked distantly into the kitchen and let out a gut heaving sigh, before roughly dragging myself away from the laundry door as Tyler walked in.
My eyes automatically went roaming over the broadness of his shoulders before moving down to his muscly chest and downwards. And just like that, my excitement over his chest and shoulders fizzled to nothing.
He came to a stop next to me and took a sip from my coffee when I held it out to him. Tyler stared out of the balcony door before letting out a sigh.
I took a sip from the place where he had just taken his; the bitterness of the coffee replaced the taste of disgust. I was feeling like the biggest bitch on earth, as if I should have been shot at birth. I patted Tyler on the shoulder as he continued to stare out the door.
"Tyler?" I asked, as he turned to look at me.
I didn't feel comfortable asking him if everything was okay, because I could see the pools of hurt, bitterness and betrayal swirling around in his eyes. Plus I had the Gibbs gut happening, and it was telling me that if I thought about touching him, he would go off the deep end.
Slowly he began to move away, finally turning and heading towards the door. Following him out of the kitchen and down the hallway, I watch as he picked up his leather jacket and car keys before pocketing them. Visibly shaking, he gave my shoulder a squeeze before leaning down and kissing my cheek.
I smiled apologetically at him, as he ran a hand over the spot he had just kissed.
"See you around sometime." was all he said before the closing the door behind him.
After three days of mentally torturing myself by replaying the look on Tyler's face as I told him it wasn't going to work, I finally packed it in and called my sister. I had finally accepted the fact that not only had I gotten rid of Tyler, but I was now going to have to find another fuck buddy.
And that meant, having to put up with my sister trying to hook me up with moron's, who acted like breaking a nail was the end of the world.
Seriously I would take small cocks over Mamma's boys any day.
I call the business and was told by a snarky bitch that my sister wasn't there and that she "claimed" to be sick.
I made a mental note to mention it to her when we met up for our next lunch date, because that bitch was not only bad for business but she was bad for Karma.
After hanging up, I hit 4 on speed dial, and waited for the lunatic to pick up or to see what this month's answering machine recording was.
"Hello, this is Alice and Jasper's answering machine. They're not here, but I'm open to suggestions..." the answering machine purred.
The sound of the phone being ripped off the jack made me jerk the handset away from my ear, and hiss in pain. After a few seconds though, I heard Alice answer, breathlessly.
"Hey, it's me," I chirped, since I was the only one who said that.
"Hey 'Me,'" Alice replied before ruining the happy moment with, "Fuck, I am so fucking sick that I swear I just puked up a horse's arse."
I fought back my laugh, our well-bred mother didn't like swearing or cussing or any other vulgar language. Alice liked defying our Mother, and went out of her way to swear in front of her. She was now considered a major failure in life because whenever someone tried to "fix" Alice, she only got worse.
"I didn't need to know that, thanks." I chided her. "I know we are close, but there are some things that need to be secret."
"Secret? What's that?" she sarcastically asked. "So what's up with the call?"
"Just wanted to see how you were going since you haven't called for three days; must be a new record for you."
Alice groaned about dying and not being able to pick up the phone before dry retching in my ear. A few minutes later, she heaved a sigh and coughed. "Sorry. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. Michelle came down with the fucking flu and I swear if that fucking bitch has given it to me; I am so going to fucking fire her arse."
I rolled my eyes at how stupid my sister could be sometimes. "You don't vomit if you have the flu, you dick. Did you eat anything that could have been off or did Jazz cook?"
Jasper aka, Dr. Death In the Making, had the ability to kill anything off. Whether it was a potted plant in a neighbour's window across the road, or anything that resembled food. You always jump at the opportunity to do the cooking. Even when Jazz announces he is going to pop something into the microwave.
To this day, there is a family joke about Jazz and his cooking expedition.
He decided to cook his Momma's Texan Stew one night. It smelt like it had been concocted out of car battery acid and looked like Hades in a pot. I hadn't been game on trying it, so I feigned Jenny Craig's and ate the salad that Alice had prepared. I was thankful that I hadn't tried it because the smell of 'Momma's Texan Stew' had killed the outside plants and we'd had to rush his colleague to hospital.
That was the last time I ever saw and spoke to him because when he had recovered, he moved to another State shortly afterwards.
I wonder why?
"Are you suggesting that my boyfriend can't cook?"
I imagined Alice's tiny little hands on her hips, even though she was probably either in bed or on the couch.
"Now, Ali, would I say anything like that? Besides you both know I love him to pieces and that I wouldn't say anything about Jazz's horrible... er, lovely cooking."
Alice laughed before it was cut off with a moan. "Yeah, yeah. Just you wait 'till I tell him what you said! Anyway, do you think I would still be alive if my douche had cooked?"
"Probably not, in fact there is a good chance I would be attending your funeral by now." I agreed. "Well the only other possibility I can think of, is that you are knocked up or your body is protesting against you."
There were a few beeping sounds on Ali's side of the phone before complete silence.
"Mother Mary, are you still there?"
"I, er, just got a message from the Boutique telling me I have to ring and confirm a shipment. I'll call you tomorrow or something. Better yet, we'll do lunch at South Bank. Get Edward to find us a place."
I knew she was lying, I could hear the quiver in her voice. "That's what all the boys say when they come to my milkshake bar."
Alice would have laughed at the joke. "Well, I'll talk to you later. Bye, Bells." she states before hanging up.
Placing the phone back into its jack, I sat there staring at the blank screen of my television. I couldn't decide if I wanted to spend the rest of the day in front of the screen watching movies while eating take out or get out of the house.
Getting out of the house won.
Bending down and pulling on my joggers, I grabbed my wallet and mobile from the hallway table and the house keys before punching in the code and closing the door behind me.
Going through the missed calls. Five of which were from Mum as well as text messages.
I was busy reading what my assistant had sent to me via text when I got knocked over. Landing on my back as a heavy weight pinned me down; my phone fell from my hand as a slippery, wet tongue made its way into my mouth when I opened it to scream.
Judging by the weight, breathing pattern, as well as the fact the hair didn't feel like a human's, I had been knocked over by a dog.
I turned to the side so then the awful, slobbery kissing would stop. When I straighten my legs, the dogs paw landed right on my nipple. My eyes shot open in pain while wondering if anything had been seriously damaged in the process but it wasn't like I could lift up my shirt and check in a public area.
I shoved the dog off me as its owner reached down to drag it off me, I heaved a breath of fresh air through my hair before rolling over onto my hands and knees. Lifting up the corner of my shirt to wipe my mouth out, my body felt like it had just been pounded into the ground by a professional wrestler.
"You should have the dog on a leash or something." I suggest, wincing at how sore my throat and body was. "Or maybe take it to doggy school, where it can be taught not to jump on people."
I heard a door being unlocked and the dog being pushed in before it was closed.
Great, now the dick leaves me here without so much as an apology. What a fuckhead!
"MacBeth has been trained better than to behave like that." The owner apologised. "I thought I had his leash but I must have dropped it when I was holding onto the box. I'm helping my brother move into his apartment. And I am sorry about MacBeth jumping on you, Mrs...?"
"It's Miss, actually." I volunteered, wondering how old this guy thought I was from behind. "And don't worry about it; I have been knocked over by harder and larger things."
Things with longer, larger cocks that's for sure I thought, rising to my feet. I make sure that my tits weren't sticking out over the band of my shirt and inhale before turning to look at the owner. And literally felt what I was just about to say, shrivel and die on my lips.
And mentally kicked myself since my betraying body has just woken up from its nap and realised it was horny. I blush as the Niagra Falls suddenly appear in my panties. And pray that the ground would open up and swallow me whole, while skin tight, jean wearing Adonis continues to smirk at me.
"Talk about having foot in arse syndrome," I joke, finding myself suddenly uncomfortable to be around him. "I can honestly say this never happens. I'm Bella and I live in apartment 26C, as you probably would have seen before your dog knocked me over. And you are?"
His smirk grew wider and all of my attention was drawn to the two perfect dimples set in his cheeks.
Mr. Adonis introduces himself as Emmett, smiling broadly and I find myself smiling along with him. Looking up into his emerald green eyes, I wonder where I have seen similar if not familiar eyes before but can't pin it down. He once again mentions that it wasn't his dog but rather his brother's.
I try to look over his shoulder to see if Emmett had another Adonis like brother, but since he was clocking at six foot one and I was only reaching just below his shoulder, I soon give up. So instead, I peer around him and am more than a bit disappointed that I don't see Mr. Adonis Two behind us.
I'm laughing at the story Emmett is telling me about his family when the sound of shattering glass and cardboard crunch stops Emmett in mid-sentence.
Having moved to stand in front of him, I notice that the colour in Emmett's tanned face has diminished somewhat and my head turns automatically in curiosity to see who was staring at.
The chuckles of laughter died up on the tip of my tongue and I felt like I was standing outside of the principals blinking door, waiting to be asked to come in.
In midst of broken glass fragments and a crinkly box that looked it would break even with a slight gust of wind, stood the last person I ever expected to see on a weekend much less outside of the office.
On his tall body, it looked like he had taken clothes from the late eighties, nineties to mid-2000's and had merged them all together.
Pulling myself out of the memory sand pit, I knew that all it would take to complete the outfit was a baseball cap, clock pendent swinging from his neck and his pants to be below his arse cheeks.
"What the fuck? Cullen." I said, startling Emmett. "What are you doing here?"
I cross my arms and eye ball him as his brother gazes back and forth between us.
"You know her, Eddie Boy?"
Edward turned his gaze away from mine and sighed. "She's my Boss."
"Who's 'She'? The cat's mother?" I snarled before telling Emmett, "Cullen is my personal assistant, soon to be assistant to someone else."
I felt Emmett's shocked gaze turn to look at me before bursting into laughter. "Oh I like her, Eddie. But then, I love a woman on top... holding me, cuddling me, riding me... You get the drift?"
"I'm sure we both do and I don't think my employer would like to know about your girlfriend riding you. A little TMI if you ask me."
"Oh, Eddie; are you jealous?" Emmett sing-songs, in a little girl's voice while skipping on the spot.
Edward gets down onto one knee and begins to pick up the few pieces of glass that have escaped from the box without making a comment to Emmett's question.
The uncomfortable tension between all three of us could have been cut with a blunt knife as we watch Edward rise to his full height. Shuffling a foot back and forth, it's at the moment of catching Edward eyeballing his brother that I decide I'm going to bail on the situation.
After picking up my property from the ground and wiping the dog drool off, I hold out my hand for Emmett to shake while mentioning it was nice to meet him finally. I smile sweetly and tell him how his brother has mentioned him a lot (translate to, not at all) at work. Turning around and saying goodbye to Edward, I tell him that I will see him Monday morning.
Bright and Early.
Saying good bye once again, I headed towards the elevator and was stepping inside when Emmett burst into another round of hysterical laughter, I overheard Edward tell him to, "Shut the fuck up."
As the doors slid shut, I turned to look at my reflection in the mirrors and let out a groan.
My hair that had once been straight, thanks to my straightener, was now standing up in a clump of curls at the front. The light foundation that I had put on to hide the bags under my eyes had been washed away when MacBeth licked me and the dry patches of dog slobber were now visible to the naked eye.
After scrubbing my face to get rid of what I could only describe as: Freddy Kruger inspired makeup; I felt like the family member that you would stick in the corner because of how they dressed. My ripped jeans and white shirt combo had been completed with dog paw prints over my nipples and an invisible sign that read: FUCKED BEYOND WORDS...
Quickly snapped a picture of me looking pathetic amongst the muck and captioned it: This is why people shouldn't have dogs before sending it off to Alice.
Twenty minutes later, while I was staring down at the containers of ice cream and deciding if I wanted cookies 'n' cream or cookies 'n' cream, my BlackBerry vibrated against my arse cheek.
I open Alice's email and read:
To: Bella Swan,
Private Email Account
CEO Red Swans PR Incorp.
From: DrGreenEyes
Date: Saturday 19th November 2011
Subject: What the hell happened?
What happened? When I mentioned extreme sex last time I saw you, I literally didn't mean with a dog. I meant buying a swing or some extra sex toys, not something that has four legs and a tail. Besides, is that even legal? And who owns the dog?
To: DrGreenEyes
From: Bella Swan,
Private Email Account
CEO Red Swans PR Incorp.
Date: Saturday 19th November 2011
Subject: Toys with four legs
It is illegal to have sex with any type of animal. Plus I wouldn't even dream/think of having sex with, let alone buying anything to do with a dog. Dog + sold 28C = new owner. And this is where it becomes funny; the new owner turns out to be my P.A. How is that even possible? It's clear the atmosphere/ Earth hate me.
.
P.s Met the brother too... Hot! But taken )':
To: Bella Swan,
Private Email Account
CEO Red Swans PR Incorp.
From: DrGreenEyes
Date: Saturday 19th November 2011
Subject: Hot Brother Out, P.A IN!
When you mention P.A, you happen to be mentioning Assward right? Assward = Edward btw. Because his arse is so smouldering that you must either be blind or near stupid to miss an opportunity when it comes to staring at that fine piece of meat.
Also while we are talking about him, are we going to have a little house warming party for him? And when I mention "we" I mean him and you. Sitting over a candle lit dinner, eating spaghetti meatballs, sipping deliciously cook wine while staring deeply into each other's eyes? *Sighing*
Oh by the way, ColdShower Mafia just uploaded and holy shiznick... Am I going to beat the drum hard tonight.
(;
I fought to keep my lunch down my neck at the thought of Alice and Jazz going hard at it because I had already unfortunately witnessed some funky shit, which I never wanted to see, nor talk about again.
Ten minutes later I dump my bags onto the kitchen counter and sigh heavily as my heart continued to pound and my legs shake uncontrollably. Since I had taken the pussy's guide to "Missing-your-next-door-neighbour", I had climbed some of the stairs before cheating and taking the elevator. Are you seriously going to take the stairs in case you happen to "run" into him everytime you step outside of your apartment? For God sakes, that is so fucking childish.
I hated it when my conscious was correct. "Fuck me!" I exclaimed, slapping myself on my forehead. "This fucking sucks donkey's nuts."
With a quick glance down at my answering machine, I notice that there is a flashing 5 in the window. I stab the button with a finger and start putting away my groceries.
"Hi sweetie, it's Mum. Just wanted to see how you have been and to remind you that family dinner isn't tomorrow night but rather this Friday coming. So pack an overnight bag and don't forget to bring your date because everyone will be present. Love you."
I groan at the thought of "everyone" being present. I'm pissed that guns are illegal in Australia since I wanted to shot something. But then I'd already been planning something on how to get out of it without alerting Mum's sniffer nose.
My mood seemed to drop even further, when I heard Alice's voice across the speakers.
"Don't think about deleting this because I know you too well, Sister of mine. Just wanted to tell you that Assward has the perfect arse you want to cup in your hands and fucking squeeze. Also check out picture number eight on TCS. It's fucking hot! My kitty is purring..."
I pressed the delete button while the puke tried to rise in my throat again.
"You have to get onto TCS NOW! I never thought bondage would look so hot."
That one seemed like it was normal so I allowed it to stay on my answering machine for the mean time.
"Have you got on ColdShower Mafia yet? Tina has just added another fucking picture... And let's just say, Tina Baby, you are so fucking rocking my world with peens and peens."
I had been afraid of introducing Alice to TCS, because when Alice loved something, she becomes addicted to it. And sure enough, my predictions had become a realisation. And I fear that I will have to do a 'sisterfrention' because Jazz told me that she was forever on the site.
It had been MySpace, Tumblr, Skype, Facebook, Twitter, and now it was ColdShower Mafia.
Whoever had thought of "When the cats are away, the mice will play" I had no doubt had been dreaming of my sister when making this quote.
The next message was another of my sister reminding me about 'Assward' as Alice had now dubbed him, Tina's wonderfully talented fingers and mouse as well as TCS newest photos of 'gorgeous looking peens and fine lookin' young men that made her kitty meow.'
Pressing delete for that one, I prayed that no one make the suggestion that it would be cool to snap pictures of your partners cock and put them up on screen. If so, my internet life was over.
My ice cream had melted and had to make room for it when the next message played and it caught me off guard. "Miss Swan, this is Edward Cullen. I'm just wishing to apologise on behalf of my obnoxious brother, in case he has said anything offensive to you...Fuck! MacBeth, you bad dog...FUCK, STOP!"
And that was my message from Edward 'Assward' Cullen, apologising on behalf of his brother.
I never had imagined Edward apologising since he was always so picture perfect down to the tee and he had certainly never sworn. That was until I burst out into tears of laughter.
There went my theory of him being a robot planted on the planet for scientific research, he had just proven that he was human after all.
Wiping tears off from my cheeks while still chuckling, I left the messages that hadn't been deleted and wondered into the lounge room.
Lying down on my couch with a sigh, I stare up at the creamy white ceiling before my gaze slides to where my laptop sits, blinking at me. I debate with myself. Go in or flick on the television and blank out for a while. My urge got the better hold of me.
As my leg bounces up and down like a crack whore waiting for her next fix; I clicked onto Google Chrime and watch as the main page appears on screen. Signing in with my private email and password and with a quick scroll downwards, I see ColdShower Mafia on the side bar and click on it.
A shot of adrenaline went racing through my body as I nibbled on the side of my thumbnail. Wriggling impatiently and crossing my legs, finally, the pictures came up on my screen and I had to fight back a howl of excitement. It felt like my fetish for being naughty was being allowed to come out of the box.
ColdShower Mafia was anything a girl could possibly think, dream, sniff, smell, touch, crave about regarding cocks, all wrapped up in one convenient site.
Scrolling past the guy who had his cock in a metal contraption that made me wince, I got to the goodies. Licking my lips at the pictures of guys in the shower, a cowboy walking across the lawn completely naked and couples making out, I was ready to call it quits when I finally found the ultimate panty melter.
Mouthing "holy shit!" I couldn't tear my eyes away from one tanned hand holding a cock and the other hand holding onto a can of shaving cream in comparison. The guy should have been dubbed "King of Peens" because the can looked small compared to his wonder peen.
Continuing through the others, I was two seconds off from signing out and signing in with my vibrator when my phone started ringing 'Queens of Noise.'
I fought back a groan as I picked my phone up from the coffee table. "Hello Alice."
I was greeted with, "What the fuck is wrong with your voice? You sound like you have been sucking too much Assward cock and not enough water."
"Clearly you have forgotten that Duck has left my house and I'm currently fuck buddy-less"
"Well of course I haven't forgotten that. However I am suggesting that you should at least suck some Assward Cock."
"Alice." I warned.
"The reason I'm calling is because a friend of Jazz, his brother's band is playing..."
I grounded my teeth. "And?"
Alice sighed. "I know you must be getting horny because it has been three days since Duck left the building. So I thought it would be a good time to get back into the shagging wagon."
I slammed my head against the back of the couch and refrained from doing it repeatedly.
"I'm only looking out for your best interests. Besides, it will be crammed packed full of fucking hot, young guys who will have eager cocks looking for a hole to pillage and plunder."
"Alice, please..." I started, before she cut me off.
"No! No 'Alice, please' bullshit. Last time you got all pussy-footed, I didn't say anything because I knew you were fucking heart broken when dipshit did the deep on you. This time, I am putting down my foot and you will be fucking coming with us, whether you like it or fucking not. You fucking got that?"
She was correct about how I had been a pussy and had claimed to have food poisoning to get out of it.
"Besides, Jazz's other friend that is coming tonight; you are going to love him."
I groaned inside because when Alice said I was going to love him, it either meant he'd either spent the last year behind bars because he was up to no good or he was seriously damaged and I needed a fixer-upper.
"Fine," I sighed, hoping that it would shut her up. "What time do I have to be there?"
"We have to be there at 9.30 but that means it will give you enough time to have a little nap, get waxed and pampered and then we hit the scene. And wear something sexy." Were Alice's parting words. After putting the phone back on the coffee table and signing out of TCS, I closed everything down and walked into my room. Shuffling my feet over the cool timber flooring, I fell face down onto the mattress and let out a groan.
All was quiet until a thump from next door broke the silence. Peering through a partially open eye, I wait to see what else would happen when the next thump, only louder this time happened again. I glare at the wall like it was deliberately doing this and counted to ten when it happened again.
I didn't want to be one of the psyco next door neighbours that complained about everything even down to the smallest detail, but I knew that if this continued; not only would I be losing sleep but Edward would be losing strips off his arse when I ripped him one.
So I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Call it a neighbourly thing to do, but he was going to pay miserably when it didn't stop.
Settling back and getting comfortable again, I closed my eye and breathed deeply through my nose and let it out through my mouth while practicing the meditation from the yoga dvd.
Breathe in... Hold for ten and slowly release for five... Breathe in...Ignore the thump and exhale...
I drifted off when the thumping sound stopped while meditating and woke with a start. Turning my head and seeing that it had been an hour, I blinked tiredly and rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
Swinging my legs over the bed and stumbling a bit as I got up, I walked into my ensuite and put the plug into the bath tub before turning it on.
From previous experience when dealing with Alice, a soak in a bathtub for a few hours seemed to be the cure but in this case, I only had thirty minutes.
When the bubble bath had been poured in and my clothes lay in a jumbled mess, I place a foot into the tub and wince at how hot the water is. Leaning over and with a quick adjustment with the cold water, I leave it running and slip in.
With the sound of water rushing, bubbles popping, the sound of a dog barking madly and its owner telling it shut the fuck up, my life seemed different than what it had been three days ago.
Taking a deep breath of air, I close my eyes and slide underneath the bubbly layer and into the water below….And I enjoyed the silence that filled my head. Staying underneath the water until my lungs started to feel strained; I rose from the water with a gasp and blinked to clear the water.
After washing my hair and body, I hop out and wrap a bath sheet around my body before making my way into my closet. I flick on the light and the room becomes a shiny treasure trove that any girl would have an orgasm over except to me it was a total waste.
I'm your basic jean and shirt girl but Alice keeps on insisting about how I should try to get out of my comfort zone. And tonight was the night I was going to do that.
Hopefully that would keep her off my back for a while. Well at least a night.
Walking past my tailored jeans, white cotton dress shirts, coloured tees, short and long evening dresses and power suits; I settled for a pair of skintight leather pants and a see through top.
I see a pair of ankle booties and quickly grab them before walking out and throwing my clothes onto my bed. Then go in search of killer undies and bra. Pushing aside the virginal white crap that my Mother insisted on buying me for my birthday, I located a tiny g-string that left nothing to the imagination and its matching push up bra. Glancing down at my 14E chest, I knew everyone would be staring at me tonight.
Guy or Girl.
Donning everything but my shirt, I gave myself a quick do over before going into the bathroom and blow drying my hair until it was semi dry. I reached over and grabbed some hair gel and rubbed it into the length before scrunching it dry. Watching my lifeless curly hair go to amazing ringlets and waves, I turned my head from side to side and felt the ends of my hair, brush against my lower back.
Quickly applying some moisturiser, concealer and mascara, I was smoothing on some paw paw cream when my phone went off. Throwing my I.D, condoms and gum into my clutch and the last two things that soon followed were travel size toothbrush and toothpaste.
I bend down and put on booties then give my hair a final toss and scrunch. Walking through the house and out the front door, the key was put into my clutch before grabbing out my phone. I scroll through my messages and see that Jazz has sent me one.
Babe da Garden Pub nw. Alice going 2 send driver 2 pick U from apartment. No drink driving...Cops out In force 2 nite.
For a man who had a degree in medicine, he certainly likes to shorten nearly every word down if possible in a text.
Pushing the elevator down arrow button and boarding, I quickly typed a reply back.
Driver would be great, thanks. See you in about thirty when I get there. Are you at the bar or in our normal spot? B x.
Thankfully, when I got outside of the apartment complex, I spotted our normal driver for such occasions and walked over to him.
"Evening Felix, I see that you are looking happy today." I stated at a sour faced Felix.
Grunting a hello, Felix opened the door and waited for me to step inside before closing it behind me. He walked around the back of the car and hopped in behind the wheel and waited for me to tell him where to go. I glanced up from my BlackBerry and told him that I needed to go to the Garden.
Lounging back in the seat with a sigh, Felix took off from the corner and stopped at the set of lights a block down from my house. Staring out the window at smiling people and ones who were laughing, I smiled at the sight of pure happiness on their faces as Felix took off again.
My phone vibrates since I had turned it onto silent and I opened the reply Jazz had sent me.
Normal place taken bi skank bitches. Go 2 bar n I will cum get u or Ali will. C u sooner rather than later judging bi how Felix drives. J x
Pulling up a block and a half from the Garden Pub since there was nowhere we could get there and get out without the car being smashed, I waited for Felix to open the door before stepping out. Straightening my shirt and pulling the chain to my clutch over my chest, I thanked Felix and told him that I would call him when I needed him to pick me up.
I waited for Felix to pull away before walking the block and a half to the pub. After showing my I.D and debating with the newbie bouncer that I really was 25 and not 17, I finally was allowed in after nearly screaming blue murder.
I knew that if I hadn't been a regular, the cops would have been called and I would have been spending the next 20 minutes behind bars while Alice got money out of the bank.
Sliding up to the bar and grabbing the only available seat after sending Jazz a text saying that I was here, I ordered a vodka with cranberry from Jake, the bartender and sat staring at the racks of bottles.
I sip my drink through the straw when a light tap was applied to my right shoulder. I turn around to see Jazz standing there with a massive smile on his face. The drink was finished in two mouthfuls and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Jazz laughed loudly at me except it was washed out by the noise.
Wrapping my arms around his shoulders since it felt like it had been ages since I had seen him last, I grabbed hold of his blonde hair that wasn't tied up in a ponytail and gave him a kiss on the lips. Leaning back and staring at him, his grin got even wider at what I had done before he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a cuddle.
When the greetings and long lost conversations were over, we finally made it back to Alice, who sat on a stool swaying to the music. Sensing that I must have been near, she turned her body towards me and let out an ear piercing scream before rushing over towards me. For someone who was less than five feet five, Alice could put a body builder's strength to shame.
Releasing me only to grab me by the cheeks, Alice grinned up at me before screaming, "Finally you arrived. I thought it was only going to be me surrounded by males."
"Felix drives like a lunatic so I would have been on time, "I yelled jokingly. "There's nothing wrong with being surrounded by males, if I remember correctly."
"You got it." Alice replied. "You want a drink? I'm having some orange juice."
Looking at Alice with a weird look on my face since she was normally half tanked by now, I raised a brow and she shrugged her shoulders in a "tell you tomorrow over breakfast" kind of way.
Bending down until I was ear height with her I whispered, "You owe me."
Like someone had lit a fire crack under her skirt, Alice went white in the face before flushing brightly. We didn't have to be twins to know what happened in each other's lives and what we meant.
"Tomorrow, ten O'clock. At my house." I ordered her, surveying the crowd while nodding my head to the music.
The band finally headed onto stage while waving lazily at the crowd in greeting, a few dumb bitches of cattle screamed in excitement.
Rolling my eyes at how stupid some people could be, I nodded my head towards the bar before leaning down and asking into Alice's ear if she wanted something to drink.
"Orange juice." Alice yelled to me before turning to look at Jazz with a puzzled expression on her face.
I head to the bar and order my usual as well as a straight OJ before handing over the crash when the total was tallied up. Taking a sip from both glasses since they were filled to the brim, I turned on a heel and had to dodge some arseholes that were standing in my way.
After Alice took her drink, I glared at the guys who were staring at me with annoyed expressions on their faces; I take a much needed sip. Swallowing it, I hissed through my teeth when the vodka hit the bottom of my stomach like a freight train and watched Alice bopping along to an emo version of 'Valerie'.
While Alice continued to bop away, I realize that Jazz isn't with us anymore and wonder where he is. Scanning the crowd, I spot him a few meters away talking to a person with his back to me.
Ruining my eyes over his delectable shoulders that made me along with every other female within the vicinity, want to go up to him and lick them. Licking my lips at the thought of him naked beneath me, my eyes drop to his arse and I felt like I had died and gone to Arse Heaven.
He had two cute little handfuls that made me want to push him onto the bar and do body shots off his arse.
Alice bumped me with her elbow and said, "Who's that talking to Jazz?"
"I don't know but I reckon he is going to come home with me tonight." I grin at Alice before turning my attention back onto Mr. McAss.
"If I wasn't with Jazz, I would be going up to him and asking him to fuck me on a bed of satin sheets." Alice yells, blushing.
"You and your bloody satin sheets," I said, rolling my eyes. "Don't tell me they would be crimson too?"
"Fuck yeah!" Alice exclaimed with excitement. "Oh look Jazz is bringing him over. Bring on the fucking cannibals of fucking arse munching."
Smiling at her and turning to look at the band and nodded my head along with the beat to one of the band's original songs that they had played last time they were here. Sipping and nodding, I turned to watch Jazz dodge around a herd of cattle before spotting us.
Smiling at him I gave his cheek a kiss and a fond pat as he smiles at me and pats my cheek back before throwing an arm over Alice's tiny shoulders and rubbing his chin over her head. Grabbing the hand near her boob and giving it a kiss, she squeezes it before turning her attention to the guy that had followed Jazz.
Pasting a smile on my face and turning, the colour drains out of my face and the empty glass that I had been holding must have slipped out of my fingers because Jazz caught it with a quick swipe of his hand.
I can see the end of my social life, my privacy and my work life all being blown up in a single blink of an eyelid from him. It was like the end of my existence had been shattered.
And like any other sentence that had been spoken to him today, I yelled "What the fuck are you doing here, Cullen?"
So what did you think?
Goodnight and Good luck with writing your own stories.