The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

Prologue

Big deal you skipped a period.

That was the thought that circulated around her head all morning.

And you've been vomiting for the last week among other signs.

Cleaning up any traces of last night's dinner, Aeris stared at the mirror and grimaced when her gaunt and pallid face stared back.

Really it's not possible. It could be anything…

She frowned and touched her cheekbone and winced when she realized it felt much more bonier and protruding than she remembered.

Stress it has to be stress.

However the more she told herself this, the more positive she was that it simply wasn't true. How long had it been since she had lain with Sephiroth? Almost two months ago it seemed so surely…

Her next course was bound to be due. Maybe her natural body functions were responding to the strain she felt from the Planet because of the increased intensity of the Mako Reactors. The thought was cut short when she felt the familiar queasiness return. She groaned. It had only dissipated moments ago.

Although the thoughts of pregnancy returned she knew it just couldn't be true because she just wasn't compatible with him. The differences in the mutations of their DNA made it impossible for them to conceive and it was a feat that neither of them had given much thought supposed to have been infertile so there was absolutely no way she was pregnant. The researchers had made sure that their soldiers were not capable of physical reproduction because of the extreme concentration of Mako they harboured in their veins.

Numbly she bit her lip and stared at herself again. She looked…unhealthy. She definitely looked sick as she had been for the last few weeks, but also emaciated and thin like she could fade away with the next coming season. Swallowing hard and turning away from the W.R.O. restroom mirror, Aeris headed out not exactly sure where she would go now.

She couldn't possibly-it was absurd-no- it was just plain ridiculous what she was thinking. Despite the fact that she had every symptom and wasn't so oblivious as to ignore how her breasts had suddenly swelled and were tender or how her back slightly ached among the other things, she just couldn't see how such a development could have taken place.

It definitely had to be stress even though she didn't have too much to be stressed about and the fact that she had never actually been a person to let stress overcome her made her reasoning seem less plausible. Maybe bottling it all up was finally taking its toll now that she had this newfound freedom and didn't have to fear the wrath of Shinra so much?

That didn't really make sense, but then again neither was the sickness she was feeling. She was a Cetra and a science experiment. She didn't really get sick (save for when the Planet screamed in her ears) and she certainly had never felt like this before so what was wrong with her?

Biting her bottom lip and running her fingers through her hair with a weary sigh, Aeris couldn't shake the nagging feeling that was compelling her to go and clear up this mishap. It was eating away at her and her inner conscience was telling her to go and confirm the truth. If anything, Aeris was sure she would be laughing this off as her first pregnancy scare and what would probably be her only one.

She felt like an idiot and wondered why she hadn't thought of something more logical. Perhaps her body wasn't coping well with this newfound transition out of Midgar? Maybe she should-

She gulped when she thought of that. The last people she wanted to see or go to were Researchers and even though the scientists of the W.R.O. had their humanity intact, she didn't want to sit down and be prodded and poked and listen over their stupid theories about the phenomena of her Cetra Ancient body. And worse still, if the tests yielded the very results she feared then there would be hell to pay and the Turks were the least of her fears.

That idea was out the door leaving her to grimace. Deciding to find herself an isolated place outside to think and get some fresh air, Aeris headed that way hoping to avoid any attempt at social interaction. Some W.R.O. workers regarded her with mild curiosity. Others with poorly concealed hostility, but she didn't care. It was common knowledge here that she wasn't exactly human, but it was still considered to be in the rumour mill. One that the Turks (when they visited) did their best to contain.

Wanting very much to be alone with her own thoughts, she found herself a nice spot on a quiet balcony and took her chance to overlook the gravel that surrounded the W.R.O. headquarters. This area was for helicopters and airships to land respectfully as she recalled.

"I've been looking everywhere for you." Slightly startled, Aeris whirled around to see Tseng, tall and imposing standing a few feet away from her. He was dressed casually which was something Aeris had found hard to grow use to since she had only ever seen him in formal suits or his uniform. Not that the clothes didn't suit him.

He was wearing a long sleeve navy blue sweat shirt and jeans. His hair had been recently cut. It looked good on him, but for a pained instant his muscular and fine carved features although very contrasting, reminded her of Sephiroth and it was the first time in a long time that she had felt an ache creep up the back of her throat. She didn't know why she had been so emotional over the last couple of weeks and it deeply annoyed her, but she just couldn't help it.

It made her want to laugh really. Why would her throat constrict thinking about him now of all times? She had made it clear to Sephiroth that she didn't have any feelings for him anymore nor had she considered the possibility of a fixated future of them together. She was loyal to him and respected him as her commander and likewise he valued her skills as a W.R.O. medic, but that was where it ended or at least where she wanted it to end. He hadn't seemed to accept it yet. Despite the fact that they had spent five years together almost taking a big leap in their relationship, Aeris reminded herself that it had amounted to nothing.

"Oh," she replied pretending to sound interested. She didn't really care why he was looking for her, but once she noticed his cold glare at her lack of subtlety, she shrank a little. Of course her odd and rude behaviour had driven an unspoken wedge between them and had this happened while she was still so young and naïve without the W.R.O.'s protection or her career within it, Tseng's protection and friendship with her would have quickly dwindled.

Clearing her throat and deciding to let go of her hidden resentment, she spoke up. "Is something wrong?" She said weakly. It was unintentional and it earned her a bewildering glance from her childhood friend and sometimes enemy. "We require your assistance down in the medical wing. My colleague requires it actually. I will explain on the way."

A little concerned, she followed him down the halls wondering what they needed her to do down there. She wasn't in the mood to speculate and so decided to wait for Tseng to deliberate the situation. He didn't do so until they both wordlessly entered the elevator.

"He came back from a mission. Injuries are moderate, but apparently things escalated a little and he seems to have been poisoned with an unknown substance. There is no time to head back to Midgar." She gave him a pointed look knowing very well it would irritate him. To her surprise he barely concealed his annoyance, but she more or less supposed that he was still brooding over her stance of independence ever since she started working for the W.R.O. She could understand why he wanted to maintain that level of control and superiority over her as he thought it was best for her protection, but there was no point.

He would just have to adjust to this new life she had made for herself and accept it, whether she was with Sephiroth or not. "What escalated?" She dared ask earning her the hint of a scowl. It was dangerous territory to speculate about Turk missions. God knows they only came to her because they knew she was a good healer. "A disagreement between Veld and some Wutaian diplomats," he replied. Aeris didn't bother to pry for more details other than asking for a better account of Commander Veld's injuries.

"Nothing substantial," he replied flatly. Aeris said no more.

The elevator doors opened and she followed him out to the medical wing. He was walking unusually slow and she wondered why. "You've been acting quite strange lately," he said out of nowhere. Aeris stopped walking for a moment to glare at the back of his head.

When he turned his head, she started walking again wondering what to say. "Have I now?" It came out more sarcastically than she intended and no doubt he would take it as her being a smart alec. His head turned to her walking demurely beside him and his eyes narrowed. "Yes," he said finally after scrutinizing her up and down. "And don't think I am not the only one who has noticed."

Aeris felt a pang of fear rise up to her chest and felt her body go cold. "Noticed what?" She said weakly hoping he wasn't insinuating what she thought he was. He scowled at her again and she could tell he was barely holding on to any restraint he had at lashing out at her verbally or physically. It seemed to happen a lot these days. Everything she did or said infuriated him so. "Your behaviour," he deadpanned. Once she registered what he said, she inwardly sighed in relief.

"Oh," was her uncanny reply before nodding to the guards and entering the medical wing. It didn't take her long to find Veld who was sitting on the bed shirtless and bandaged. Just what exactly did happen? As expected, surrounding him was Doctor Rayleigh, Reeve and a handful of scientists whom he was desperately trying to shoo away. Tseng's presence did enough to have them back away though in mistrust and fear. Veld himself was an intimidating man to be around, but Tseng's cold exterior was even more so.

"Ah Aeris," said Veld in a feigned cheerful voice although she knew he wasn't upset at her. Probably blaming himself for whatever happened. "You required my assistance?" She said while her eyes travelled over the wounds on his body noticing his nose was bleeding and that he was looking quite…exhausted. "Yes well I am sure Doctor Rayleigh will explain…" Reeve said hoping that she could at least give some insight about the poison in Veld's system.

She offered him a weak smile and placed a hand on his injuries through the bandages. "You were attacked?" She said neutrally seeing as the injuries through the bandages were deep cuts from what was mostly likely a sword or perhaps even a kunai.

"Yes," he said, his voice faltering a little. Aeris held back a grimace and let a bit of magic flow through to heal the wounds. Subconsciously he stroked her arm as she worked on him. She wondered if it was an old fondness he had for her when he remembered her as a child with her mother in his custody or if she simply reminded him of his daughter. "I think we should do an MRI. I take it your nose is bleeding because of the poison leaking into your brain. It doesn't appear broken. It must be putting heavy strain on your neurons so before I heal I think we should check what sort of damage there is," she suggested earning her a very concerned look from Reeve and co. Veld didn't seem the slightest bit daunted by the prospect but Reeve was already bombarding her with questions to which Aeris ignored with much effort.

Veld sighed and reluctantly lay down so the doctors could wheel the bed to perform a scan. One began to change his bandages seeing as the wounds were just scars and would heal on their own from now. "Your abilities are amazing," he said to her. Aeris nodded to him with a weak smile and did her best to ignore Tseng's analysing gaze.

"Is this a new poison?" Aeris said as she read the charts and the results of the blood tests. "It seems so," Doctor Rayleigh replied dryly knowing full well the use of this poison would have to be collaborated with the board and be put on alert for soldiers. "What do you think it means? Aeris inquired as she began comparing the symptoms to various other poisons while she awaited scans from Veld's MRI. If worse came to worse she would just heal him, but she usually kept it as a last resort.

"That policy with Wutai is about to take a turn for the worst," Tseng commented. The colour drained from Aeris's face as she realized the significance of this. Another war? Her thoughts immediately went to Sephiroth although she didn't fear for him. She feared for them. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that," she said quietly as she looked over the scans of the inner neural workings of Veld's head. "Always the pacifist," Tseng chuckled. She gave him a bland smile feeling a little content that he had found it within himself to joke with her.

Her attention returned back to the screen and she frowned a little. "I think I know what the poison may be doing," she conceded although further tests might have to be done before they commenced treatment or healing with materia. She looked at Veld who although was having his head scanned was listening intently. "I am not sure what it is, but it is definitely working by scrambling the communications your nervous system sends for your motor sensory control. That is probably why you can't move properly."

Her verdict seemed to ease the atmosphere in the room and Doctor Rayleigh X-Rayed the results and wheeled Veld back to his designated area. "You can fix it?" Tseng asked in concern for his boss. Aeris ran her fingers through her thick hair which had recently been cut. "At the moment it doesn't appear to be life threatening so we'll just put him on a saline drip now until we come up with an antidote." That seemed to be enough and Tseng thanked her for her help.

Deciding Doctor Rayleigh and her cohorts would be able to use this information to tackle whatever was affecting Veld, Aeris saw it fit to excuse herself and leave the room. She really needed to be alone. Perhaps Rayleigh could look through some of Hojo's files (the man's very name made her shiver) from notes of poisons gathered during the Wutai war if that would ease her job any better.

But more importantly she was just glad to be away from the Turks. Through her relationship with Sephiroth for the last five years and her recent job as a medic here in Junon, she had been brought closer to Shinra than ever before and the Turks had seemed it fit to make this understanding with her of mutual trust and friendship. They kept Hojo at bay (as did Sephiroth) on the good faith that she would reveal the secrets the President was dying to know. Apparently the President didn't want to burst the bubble he thought was around her at finally seeing Shinra as something worthy and noble.

She stifled a snort. When she was nineteen and had moved in with the General, she had been invited to annual Shinra gatherings, official parties and other celebrated events where she had had to meet and collaborate with many people on the board who were of course curious about the girl who was supposed to lead them to the Promised Land. Sephiroth had protected her most of the time, evading questions, giving cold glares or departing with her rudely from these places. However it seemed now she would have to rely on her own wit if ever such an occasion occurred. But she was not 'with' Sephiroth anymore so there was no need or cause for her to show up at these celebrations.

Aeris was brought back to the first thoughts at hand. She was sure Tseng was well aware of the decline of their relationship though he kept it to himself. The fact that she had moved out from Sephiroth's apartment over a month ago was enough proof of that. But lately she had found Tseng's presence quite bothersome ever since he had transferred from Midgar. He was always around here now. She didn't know why…she almost felt guilty around him. He was the one who had after all, warned her all those years ago not to pursue any sort of relationship with Sephiroth and naturally she hadn't listened to him.

And of course when she hadn't, he kept whatever reservations he felt about the matter completely to himself, but she sensed that she had hurt him somehow and that was why she felt the guilt. Now though, her feelings about their friendship were the least of her problems.

The thought of being pregnant and pregnant to him after a heartbreaking and ugly break up filled her gut with a wrenching fear. She really did not want to entertain the prospect, but what else could it be? She had to know. Deciding she would go and rest for a while and eat some lunch when she was feeling better, she proceeded to make her way to the new apartment she purchased a week after she left Sephiroth. She had enough money and was doing alright budget wise, but a baby in the picture was a no go.

When she returned home, her appetite had diminished so she settled for taking off her uniform so that she was only in her tank top and underwear. She slipped into bed relishing in the comfortable piece of furniture and ignored the feeling of loneliness at not having Sephiroth lay beside her. She checked her phone and found that she had four missed calls and eight text messages. All the missed calls were from Sephiroth as well as six of the eight text messages. She ignored them.

Tseng sat quietly at his desk at Junon headquarters. It wasn't too hard to decide on the medicine to give Veld and Rayleigh assured him that the Commander was going to make a full recovery. The opening of the door to his office turned his attention to one of his female colleagues. The blonde hair which had been precisely cut in a straight perm had never changed in the years she had worked alongside him. "Rosaline," he said cordially as she swept him a kind smile. "How is he?"

Tseng arranged the papers on his desk. "Well I suppose, considering the circumstances. They will discharge him from the hospital in a day or so." The answer seemed to satisfy her and she took a seat opposite him. "I heard Aeris was the one who diagnosed and treated him. Who'd have thought the girl from the slums would make something of herself and become so renowned for her medical skills." As well as become the lover of Sephiroth was the unspoken term, but what was old news.

"Indeed," Tseng said very much wanting to avoid the topic of Aeris at the moment. "She's been taking a lot of sick leave," Rosaline added slyly. It certainly did the trick to pique Tseng's curiosity. "Really? She has been at this job for a year now and has hardly taken off a day." He was the only one who usually looked through her files anyway. "I know, but she has been doing that a lot lately and she hasn't been looking…" Rosaline trailed off.

"Looking?" Tseng questioned as he encouraged her for an answer. "Well," she finished as if that was an explanation. "She hasn't been looking well and one of the W.R.O. soldiers heard her vomiting in the restroom this morning. Same thing happened yesterday when she was with Rayleigh when they went out for lunch."

"Vomiting?" Tseng said dubiously, more of a statement than a question. It was bizarre since as a Cetra and spending a few early years of her life in Hojo's lab, she wasn't prone to common human illnesses. Granted, Aeris's experimentation when she was a child wasn't to such an extent to render or mutate her genes. Just a few mako shots nothing more.

"It must be serious then," he said quietly and slightly concerned for her, but the situation with Wutai was a more pressing matter. Rosaline nodded in agreement. "I think she is purposely avoiding the medical facility and hoping it will just go away. Understandable, but not the wisest course of action." Tseng who was still sorting through files twitched his mouth in acknowledgement. "It would explain her distant behaviour as of late. She has become quite defensive and snarky, qualities not befitting of her usual and regular attitude. I suppose a few words from you should do the trick. She is fond of you after all," he said that almost bitterly, but Aeris did talk to Rosaline more openly than she did with any of the other Turks including himself.

Rosaline hid a smile and asked him to fill her on the latest report on what had happened to Veld in Wutai. Calmly and concisely as possible, he explained how the fight took place and Aeris's verdict on the issue. Rosaline listened to this news gravely and agreed with their next course of action. "Rude says there has been a disturbance in the North somewhere."

Tseng stared at her with a raised brow, but the rest of his face was impassive. "And?" Rosaline gave him a lazy smile, one that didn't really suit her and cleared her throat. "Well no one is exactly sure. There was just a raid on some Shinra supplies in Icicle, surveillance all shot out and weapon materials taken." Tseng's look was quizzical but he nodded all the same. "A lot of strange things appear to be happening around the world in recent months," he said dryly.

Rosaline nodded and sighed.

Aeris stirred on her bed as a loud and persistent knocking awoke her from her sleep. Groaning and rolling out of bed to shove some pants on, Aeris stumbled half afraid Sephiroth was at her door. However looking through the eye piece eased her fears. Gingerly she unbolted the door. "Sleeping at this time of the day?" Her friend asked curiously. Despite being half asleep, Aeris still humoured her. "I was tired," she offered lamely opening the door wider to let Rosaline in.

The small fair haired woman entered the room and Aeris actually took the advantage to admire the many hues of gold in her hair. A pity she kept it so short. She hadn't really noticed it before and she wondered how Rosaline had kept it so healthy and shiny. She supposed fighting with short hair did have its advantages after all. "I'm worried about you."

The comment was so off and so uncharacteristic that it caused Aeris to actually pause as she shut the door. Contemplating on what to say next, she locked up and turned to the Turk in question. "What is the cause for your worry?" She said in irritation. Did Tseng set her up to this? It didn't matter either way. She was exceptionally tired of them asking her these sorts of questions when they no longer had the right to do so.

Rosaline didn't miss the irritation in her look and scowled at her. "For one," she began in a thick military voice that was to impose her Turk authority, "you've been acting strange for the last couple of weeks. Distant, quiet, secretive. Qualities that was not present in your former self. Two, you've been sleeping for hours on end at bizarre times of the day even though you haven't done anything exertive to put you into that state and three which is what I am worried about the most is the fact that you have been vomiting for the last week."

Aeris hoped to whatever Gods were above that Rosaline didn't see the traces of distress in her face and after a few moments of hesitation, she slightly pursed her lips instead. "How did you know that I've been sick?" Rosaline resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the Cetra girl's lack of understanding for her perception skills.

"People talk Aeris. I've witnessed some of your…episodes and a few women heard you in the restroom this morning." She paled a little when Rosaline revealed this to her and cursed herself for not being more subtle, but she couldn't control herself. These bouts of nausea hit her severely at random times of the day, normally when she was doing something important so efforts to conceal the mishaps weren't met.

"I'm just…I haven't been feeling well. I don't know what it is and haven't theorized anything yet. I am just waiting for it to pass really," she lied hoping Rosaline wouldn't see through it. The older woman gave her a long hard look making her shift uncomfortably wondering if she was about to say something incriminating.

"This might be serious Aeris. If you are vomiting then I think it would be best if you simply headed to the medical wing and have the doctors look at you. I will accompany if you are…erm…frightened. We both know very well that your body can't succumb to lower illnesses so there is definitely something causing an imbalance in your homeostasis."

Aeris nervously rubbed her palm and bit her bottom lip. Of course she wanted to go and see what was wrong with her, but she was so worried the test would turn up with what she actually thought was wrong with her. "I-I don't know…" she said quietly earning her a disapproving glare from Rosaline. "It's not the Shinra labs," her friend reminded, but Aeris was too cautious to budge.

Hesitating again and finally letting out a defeating sigh, she nodded. "Well if it doesn't desist within the next few days or so, I suppose I can go and have it checked out." Rosaline's lips pursed disdainfully, but she didn't protest to her decision and simply nodded while taking a seat on Aeris's bed.

"I miss him," she said in an attempt to get the topic removed from her physical condition. Rosaline looked up at her in surprise and smiled wanly. "So you did break up?" Aeris nodded reluctantly. "H-he won't accept it," she said weakly wondering if the Turk in question could give her some advice. "What exactly happened Aeris?" She inquired quietly. Aeris stilled at the question. She really did not want to say.

Swallowing hard and staring out the window, she gave a low sigh. "My career," she said grudgingly. Rosaline stared at wide eyed and in the mild surprise. "He wanted you to quit?" Aeris nodded demurely although she kept her eyes averted. Rosaline bit her lip. "But Aeris he was the one that paid for your scholarship and didn't you say yourself he was the one who encouraged you to pursue your education."

Pursue my education but not put it to use it seems she thought numbly. "Yes…but he was so use to me always being home for the first few years and when I finally accepted the job in Junon and he transferred with me, he didn't like the fact I was working so much." She paused for a moment and saw she had Rosaline's full attention. She hesitated a moment and continued although carefully to leave out bits and pieces of information (as she usually did). "We had a fight," she mumbled and sighed.

"A big one."

Rosaline's face was grim and Aeris wondered what she thought. "Is that why you moved out?" She eventually asked. She gave her a wry smile and moved to sit in the chair. "More or less. He is making me choose. My job or him."

Rosaline stayed another hour prodding for more particulars, but Aeris successfully avoided the confrontation opting to ask whether the Turk thought Sephiroth was a man who could compromise. He had after all compromised a lot for her over the years and she had repaid him by using his own generosity against him. She had left him.

But the reasons ran far deeper than that because despite what he did for her, he had done a lot to her over the years and she no longer felt confident in her abilities to mend this broken man. Not since he-

No. She didn't want to think about it. Bidding Rosaline goodbye and jumping onto her bed again, Aeris couldn't contain herself anymore and reached over for the phone. Slowly she flipped it open and read the last text he had sent her.

That would make it seven.

I hear that you are unwell

Boy did news travel fast. Could he sound any more condescending?

Please come back home.

I'll take care of you

You need me

Aeris…

I'm sorry.