Note: this will probably be the goriest chapter i promise! and dont worry! erik will be in it a lot more next chapter!
It was so dark.
And before that... I dont know. Maybe it was always this dark but I dont think so.
I felt trapped. LIke I was buried alive or- I dont even know.
I was aware of a constant heavy breathing. I dont know how long it was there but it scared me. God it was so dark.
It took a little while and then I realized what it was: it was my breathing.
It was jagged and broken off. Like I was struggling or out of breath. And when I really tried to stop, I couldnt. My heart was racing I realized. But over what? I made to call out, maybe then I would understand.
All that came out were muffled sounds. I was unable to open my mouth.
I guess that was when I started to panic. I tried to move to break free and then I realized I was tied down. All at once I began to realize my surroundings, or at least something because I couldnt see so I didnt know what it looke dlike where I was because I couldnt see. It was cold. but I wasnt outside. and the smell! oh my god! I nevere smelled anything like this before. I imagine if death had a smell that this would be it.
And I held my breath and all there was was my heart beat... my heart beat was all I heard but-
No.
It wasn't all I heard.
It was raspy. And deep. And loud. It was not my breathing. If the lights were on I guess you would have seen them go wide in terror.
Ignoring the tie around my mouth I was about to scream and that was when there were lights. When I began to scream. Which only made me scream more.
Oh why did I wish that I would be able to see? Why? Why? The room it couldnt be what I imagined it to be but it was the walls were covered in oh god I dont even want to imagine what I thought I saw but I knew it was true. There were bright stains all ove the walls and it could only be one thing and all at once i thought of the smell and next thing I knew I was throwing up all over and
There was laughter.
Not like a funny ha-ha laughter but this laughter was different. It was different like the bowels of hell. That's where this laughter must have been from.
I saw the man approaching me and in a surge it all came back.
Oh my god! It was my date! We had been going steady for months! We had even talked about marriage and the future and children and how we would grow old together and sing and dance throughout the years and how wonderful it would be. I actually started believing in soul mates and thought about turning back to my faith.
We had gone out and he was no of himself. Him and his brother. When we left there had been a fight. Over another lady, I'm not sure. Anyways Phillipe had been out of sorts but I didnt think muchof it. We went to a pub which was something new for me but once again I didnt think much of it. We did shots of Jack Daniels and I went to the bathroom. Then I got really dizzy and-
-and I ended up hear.
Phillipes hair was a wild mess. What was usually well kept and of teh foppish style wasfull of mad tangles and dangerous looking. But that was nothing compared to his eyes.
Oh. His eyes. How can i begin to describe them?
Oh Phillipe those gorgeous eyes. Your beutiful eyes that I used to kiss every time I saw them, when we woke up together in the mornigns. How often I would speak to you about those eyes and how much I loved him.
They werent anything I remembered. They were full of madness and a desire that I didnt quite understand. I had seen lust before in those beautiful orbs. But this? Oh no, this wasnt the lust that I had seen those wonderful days on the beach. This was full of carnage.
Looking back, I didn't have the time to be as scared as I should have been. HOwever the lust was answered in the next moment when a glint caught my eye. A glint of steel. cold unforgiving steel that would ravage me without a second thought.
Had i noticed i would have put up a futile fight. But I didnt'. I met his eyes with mine. Pleading. I didnt understand.
I read in places that when you are injured that you don't feel the pain. I never believed it. How could that make sense. Breaking bone. Breaking skin, Slicing you like you slice a turkey at thanksgiving. I don't understand it, but it's true.
I only felt wet and I figured that was sweat from me. Sweat from him dripping on me as he straddled me on the chair I was bound at. He was still laughing. And I realized he had cut away the binding around my mouth.
"Oh Phillipe!" I cried out. "Please, Please what are you doing my pet?"
"Lilith...oh my dear."
It was when the sweat dripped into my mouth I realized the truth. It wasn't sweat. It was blood. My blood. I screamed and started to struggle.
"My my my dear Lilly Lilly Lith. Be a good doll and do not struggle so. YOu were doing so well."
"Please." I begged. "I don't understand. I dont..." I coughed. I was already losing a lot of blood.
"Oh youre all the same. So kind. When you get what you want. Look t you beg now. youre not getting what you want now are you? Little dolly sluts. Little harlets! I spit on you all"
And as you can imagine he spit on me.
After what must have been a few seconds but felt liek eternity he cut my bindings.
"You can go." is all he said.
I got up. I had to get out of there. Somehow he was letting me go with my life still. I went to take a step and somehow I dont understand how, ended up on the ground. I began to cry. I had been so strong, but I couldnt be strong anymore. I'm sorry, I just couldnt. And that laughing. Did it ever end?
"Oh Lilly Lilly Lith you can go. As long asyou can exit the door!" he continued laughing and repeating things to himself and I did not understand him. I just knew what I had to do so I did it I began to crawl towards the door.
He let me to. Till i got out the open door and was outside. It was in an alley and it was raining. I just wanted to rest a moment. REst and close my eyes.
But he was behind me. But he said I could go. I dont understand.
I did close my eyes. But I didnt fall asleep. I began to pray. I prayed to the god and the son and all the saints that I never really believed in. Except that moment when soul mates were real. When everything was grand and gay.
I didnt know anymore what was blood and what was tears and what was rain. But I didn know I was so tired. And at least it didnt hurt. I dont think I was even scared.
There was as cream. I didnt understand why I was screaming. I was so relaxed. So comfortable.
And there he was scooping me up like a fractured doll. My angel.