Disclaimer: I don't own HP.
A/N: I usually use James/Lily to write fluff or humour. I wrote this ages ago when I really wanted to write some J/L angst. I'm not sure how I feel about it, though.
Dearest James,
I'm not strong enough to fight this battle, this ongoing war around us. I can't stand it when you go off on Auror missions, leaving the baby and I alone for weeks, sometimes months, at a time. And now the Order has asked us to help them, asked us to join them. But I can't do it, James, I just can't. I've never been good at duels, anyway, you know that. But that's not the problem.
I'm not emotionally or mentally ready yet. You put sweat, blood and tears into Auror training. You've seen death first hand, you can handle it, you can deal with the fighting and the pain and the death. But I can't. Death scares me, James. Not death itself, I suppose, but rather, not existing. It scares me to think that, while people are losing their lives at war, the world goes on without them, seemingly unaffected.
The chances of us all getting out alive are not in our favour, I understand that. But I want you to try for me. Try to stay alive, to overcome any injuries you may receive while fighting, to keep going through thick and thin. I want you to stay strong, to let our love help you find the strength to move on, to fight through the hardest barriers. With Baby Prongs on the way, I'm not in any physical condition to fight, even if I was emotionally ready. I need you to be part of Baby Prongs' life, I need you to be here when Baby Prongs comes into the world. You can't let our baby grow up without a father.
Tell Sirius that I miss his witty jokes and constant innuendoes. Tell Alice I miss her gossip and her girly ways, and tell her that I highly disapprove of her fighting while she's pregnant, and that she needs to get back here this instant because battling cannot be good for the baby. Tell Marlene I miss her wonderful cooking. Tell Peter I miss his adorable dimples and his high-pitched laugh. Tell Remus I miss our intelligent conversations. Tell Gideon I miss his goofy grin. Tell everyone that I can't wait to see them again.
I miss you so much, James. It's been three months since you left for the Order, three months since I've heard anything from you. For all I know, you could have been on the receiving end of an Avada Kedavra, or taken hostage and being tortured to the brink of insanity, but love is keeping hope in my heart. I need to stay strong for the baby, I know, but I'm so worried and I need to see you. Come home soon. Please.
All my love,
Lily.
Every time you review, James dodges an attack. Bring him back to Lily safe and sound? ;D