It's some Cophine... Ah ah, see what I did there.
For the last four months, every day, she sees her. The blonde curls fallen over her face, as she keeps her head down, moving it slowly between the giant book in front of her and the notes she scribbles on the piece of paper next to it. Ear buds in, sometimes wobbling her head while stretching her back, probably aching from the several hours curved over the books. Cosima often finds herself imagining that the stranger only does that when a particular song starts playing, one that the blonde loves so much that she can't keep her concentration on her studies until it ends. Her hazel eyes shut, occasionally even mouthing a few verses. Then it's over and she returns her attention back to the books, from where her eyes won't leave for another hour or so.
As much as Cosima loves to stare at the mysterious blonde during her study hours, the fact is that these last few months have been the least productive ever. The brunette makes herself come to the library every day to study, because she knows that if she stays at home she'll get nothing done. Easily distracted. Always was, since she was a child. Had she been a teen these days and not in the late 90's early 2000's she would've been diagnosed with some sort of condition, like attention deficit or something and drenched in drugs.
Cosima sighs deeply and forces her eyes to leave the woman at the other end of the big room and back to her own book, still opened in the same page since she arrived, almost one hour ago. It doesn't help that the blonde had to make a home for herself in a table to where Cosima had an unobstructed view. She remembers her surprise when, in an unsuspecting day, as Cosima arrived at the library, like she's done for the past year, and saw the blonde already there and seated at the table she would, eventually, end up staying every day since. Now - it was not that unusual for different people to come and go all the time, probably just coming for the short duration programs that the University of Toronto had to offer. What was unusual was anyone get Cosima's attention longer than a few minutes.
She doesn't consider herself an unsociable person or a loner, quite the contrary. Cosima is usually easygoing and most people find her very friendly, but something about Toronto makes her more guarded than usual. She's not sure if it's the cold that causes her warm Californian personally to shrink or because, for the first time ever, she's in a place where she knows no one to begin with. Whatever reason, Cosima has been feeling out of place for the last year.
Sure, she ended up meeting people, fellow students, and even goes out with them in a semi-regular basis, but she has the distinct knowledge that, once she's gone, back to San Francisco, she will not leave any friends behind. That was sad, really, but, on the other hand, at least she won't miss anyone and she would return home with her heart intact.
Movement on the "blonde's table" takes her eyes from the voluminous book in front of her. She's leaving - already? - Cosima looks at her watch - yep, that's her hour.
The hazel eyes find Cosima's and, as it had happened for the last two months, ever since they met by chance in the bathroom, exchanging awkward glances, the blonde waves her goodbye with her free hand, while the other has a tight hold on her books, close to her chest. The movement is always accompanied by a small smile that turns the brunette to a puddle.
Cosima signs again and starts to gather her things. One day you need to get some balls, Niehaus!
If there is a time of the year Cosima viscerally hates it's Christmas. A profound cynicism gets hold of her brain. Like, why the fuck has everybody to be so freaking happy this time of the year, forced to smile and give the customary "happy holidays" or "Merry Christmas" all the time. A stupid, fake, excuse for people to be nice, when they should be doing that the entire year, not just now. Why can't people be generous all the time, instead of only just during one fucking month out of twelve?
Yep, Cosima hates Christmas, not because of what it represents, per se, but because of all the fake happiness that surrounds the season.
She has to admit, though, Christmas in Toronto it's a beautiful time. During the day a white blanket covers the streets, made more bright at night by all the lights. Take the good with the bad, she thinks on her way to the library in the morning, eager to take the opportunity of an entire day of study, like she has been doing since the Christmas break started.
As she approaches the door for the library, she feels the breath caught in her throat. The blonde standing in front of the door, starting at a paper pinned to it, the corner of her mouth curled in a discontent frown. Cosima shakes her head slightly and gives two more steps so she can see what's the paper about.
"It's Christmas Eve, people! Go home and be with your families!" It reads, Cosima rolls her eyes as she reads the PS "And Happy Holidays!"
"Crap!" She says under her breath. Cosima had actually forgotten about the day.
"Yeah, I know what you mean!" The blonde says, her frown turning into a little smile.
Cosima chuckles. "You hate Christmas too?" She asks, hoping to find someone who she could share her distaste with.
"No, not really." The taller woman answers.
"Then what are you doing here on Christmas Eve?"
"I was hoping to check out a book that I forgot about yesterday. I thought they could be open in the morning at least." The French inclination on her words not lost on the brunette. "What about you?"
"Oh, I just... I kinda forgot about it." Cosima's not really sure why she's embarrassed by her answer.
The blonde laughs and the smaller woman can not help the smile tugging her lips. "You forgot about Christmas?" The disbelieved question is answered with a nod from Cosima's head. "I'm Delphine, by the way." She extends her hand, after humming something.
"Cosima." She takes the hand, letting it linger for a little bit longer than necessary. "Enchantée!" She adds with a smile, her tongue poking between her teeth.
Delphine's laugh getting louder. "Enchantée!"
"What? That bad?" Cosima asks.
"Oh... Non, non... Parfait!"
"I don't believe you." The brunette pretends to pout. "And here I was, trying so hard."
"Well, you just keep practicing, then." Delphine showing her the most adorable teasing smile.
"That's not cool." Cosima mumbles, then, as an idea pops into her mind, she grins widely. "For that I'll charge a coffee!"
"You want me to pay you a coffee?" The blonde asks a little confused.
Cosima shakes her head. "Nop! I demand you pay me a coffee!"
Delphine puts a thoughtful expression. "Très bien!" She concedes after a while.
It took longer than it really should for them to find a place opened. After they got their order, the two women find a table by the window, sipping their hot beverages and talking idly. As it turns out Delphine is French, but moved to Toronto when she was seven, when her father's company decided to open a branch in North America. The blonde, however, had spent the last four years in Paris, attending the University, returning now to Canada to continue her studies.
"Don't you miss Paris?" Cosima asks, after listening for a while. She could hear Delphine talk for hours on end, but she could sense the French was starting to feel self-conscious with Cosima's never ending questions.
"Some, yes. But I missed my family more when I was there." Delphine answers with a sip to her coffee. "You probably know what I mean, with you here and your family back in San Francisco."
"Yeah, I guess..." Cosima agrees, lowering her head.
"I imagine it's harder this time of year. I never spent Christmas away from my family, always came back during this season." Delphine comments. "Why didn't you go home?"
"I told you: I hate Christmas."
"Right! But that's not your family's fault. Why should they pay for that?" Delphine asks lowly, but then starts to wave her hands awkwardly. "I mean... It's not my place to judge, you can do what you want and I don't know you and here I am saying these things to you when I have no right, I just wanted to..."
Cosima's laugh interrupts her. "Calm down, okay! I know what you mean." She reaches for the long hands suspended in the air still and pushes them down to settle on the table, patting them gently, noticing how soft and warm they feel under the pads of her fingers, but removing them fast enough so it doesn't become too weird. "My parents got used to it. They call me Grinch this time of the year."
With that the awkwardness faded and the conversation returned to a light discussion of their fields of study. It was refreshing to Cosima to find someone she could talk with and not feel the constant need to make sure she hadn't lost the other person along the way with her rumbling.
Too soon, at least in Cosima's mind, they're interrupted by the single waiter working that day. "I'm sorry, but... We kinda need to close." He says apologetically, getting closer to the two women.
"Oh..." Delphine looks around the small coffee shop, her eyes wide open as she notices no one else's in there, then takes her phone from her pocket. "Merde! My... My parents have been calling." She says, her finger moving quickly over the screen.
"Yeah... You can like... Go home." Cosima says, feeling a squeeze in her heart. "I don't want to keep you away from your family... Obvs..." She starts to get up and walk to the door, Delphine right behind her and the door shutting, the poor guy working on Christmas Eve immediately turning the card hanging on the door to "Closed".
"Well, then..." Cosima cuts the awkward silence. "This was nice."
Delphine energetically nods. "Hmmm... Oui."
"I'll let you go then. See you around, I guess." The brunette's words sounding more like a question than anything else.
The blonde continues to nod, her teeth lightly nibbling her bottom lip. Cosima sighs and turns to walk away. She gives but a few steps before she feels a hand gripping gently on her shoulder, Delphine removing her hand as soon as Cosima turns back around with a question in her eyes.
"I..." The blonde takes a deep breath and laughs a little to herself. "I know this will sound... Strange, but why don't you come spend the night with my family?"
Cosima chuckles. "Are you really asking a stranger to spend Christmas Eve with your family?"
Delphine blushes softly. "Yeah... I said it sounded strange."
"It really does! Is that like a Christmas thing? Like take home a stray dog for a hot meal?"
"No, no... A puppy, at best."
"Oh, God!" Cosima groans. "Thank you, but I can't accept it."
"Why not?"
"Well, for starters, I don't even have a present to take and that's just unacceptable." The small woman explains. "Even I know that." The blonde was going to start to protest, but Cosima didn't allow. "And... C'mon, Delphine, you can't just show up in Christmas Eve with a perfect stranger for dinner."
"What if we're not strangers?" Delphine asks with a small sparkle in her eyes. "What if we're long time friends?"
"What do you mean?" Cosima knows this is a very bad idea, but she finds herself unable to deny something from the blonde when the brightness in her eyes seem to rival with the brightest of the Christmas lights.
"Oh... You know. We can say we're friends and you lost your plane to return home." Delphine lays out her plan. "And, out of the goodness of my heart, I invite you over."
"I could be a psychopath maniac killer!" Cosima makes a serious face. "A serial killer who hates Christmas and picks her victims in Christmas Eve!"
"If you were, you wouldn't say." The blonde laughs and grabs her arm, starting to pull at it playfully. "C'mon, Cosima, this could be fun and... oh, wait! Annnnddddd... you can save me from spending an entire night hearing about how marvelous my older sister is."
"Is she really that great?" Cosima's phony serious facade getting more serious.
"My mother certainly seems to think so!" Delphine puffs out.
"Oh... Then I have to meet her!" The brunette answers with a grin. "Is she taken?"
The taller woman's hands go weak on Cosima's arm, as the realization of the other woman's words sink in. But soon she's shoving Cosima's shoulder jokingly. "Of course she is, that's one of the reason my mother likes her so much. She has a kid too."
Cosima hums, considering this oh so very stupid proposal. Who am I kidding? "Sure! But I'll meet you there."
If the little smile Delphine has been giving her these last two months turned Cosima into a puddle, the one she's giving her now has the ability to transform the poor brunette into vapor.
They exchange phone numbers and Delphine gives her home address, just outside the city.
It was close to lunch time and the last thing Cosima wanted was to go to a mall filled with last minute hurry shoppers, but there was no way she would show up without at least one gift. As she goes to shop after shop, looking for something to buy, nice enough and that doesn't break her bank, Cosima remembers something else that she just hates about Christmas: shopping for gifts.
It was hard enough under normal circumstances, but shopping for a present for someone she never even freaking met. That is all kinds of crazy. She ends up choosing the nicest bottle of whiskey she can afford for Delphine's father, while her mother would get a deep red and black scarf. A box of chocolates for the little kid (who she doesn't know if it's a boy or a girl) and she is on her merry way. Relieved to leave the crowded shopping mall behind.
Cosima's almost passed the sliding glass doors when she stops suddenly. Fuck, Delphine! She almost forgot a gift for her new old time friend. When Cosima's eyes lays on it, she stops dead in her tracks. Yep, that's perfect!
Cosima's nerves are very close to get the best of her, the butterflies in her stomach doing crazy somersaults as she's standing at the door of the Cormier Residence, gathering her strength to ring the bell. One last deep breath and she raises her hand, occupied with bags, to the button.
She doesn't have to wait long before the door opens and Delphine gives her a wide smile, pushing her cheeks to plant a kiss on each side of her face.
"Cosima!" She releases the smaller woman and places her hands on her shoulders, staring at her from top to bottom. "You look nice."
The brunette internally high-fives herself for choosing to dress up a little bit, with a burgundy tight dress and knee high black boots. "You don't look so bad yourself." She smirks, staring at the blonde, who is on a black and white dress and her hair pulled up in a sloppy bun. "I like your slippers." Cosima laughs, pointing at the stuffed Rudolph slippers.
"Don't laugh, Ruddy has been my Christmas companion for the last five years." The French says, reaching for her bags and the gift under Cosima's arm, too big for any bag. "Let me get those."
Cosima let's her take the bags. "It's Ruddy, then?" She continues to laugh.
To say Cosima's overwhelmed is the understatement of the year. The party consists only of Delphine's parents, her sister, brother-in-law and nephew, but it is too much for the young woman. The conviction that this is a terrible idea gaining ground in her mind.
"How come we never heard Delphine talk about you?" It was bound to happen, the feared question coming from Delphine's sister.
"Because I don't need to tell you everything, Chloe, do I?" Delphine answers quickly.
"Well, I'm just saying... If you're old friends we should've heard about you." She insists.
"Leave it alone." Mr. Cormier says. "We're just happy to have some else to help us eat all the food your mother decided to get."
"There's never too much food." Mrs. Cormier scolds at her husband. "Especially if your daughter only tells us last minute she invited someone over."
Cosima feels Delphine shift uncomfortably in the couch next to her. "I really can't thank you enough for having me and welcoming me so gracefully to your family's celebration." Cosima cringes at her own words, but she had to say something to take the blonde out of the grill.
"We're glad to have you, dear." Delphine's father says with a warm smile. "Speaking of food, I think it's time for it, non?"
"We weren't talking about food." James, the little boy, points out.
"We are now!" Paul, Delphine's brother-in-law says, getting up and starting to walk to the bathroom, taking the boy with him. "C'mon, let's wash our hands."
"Thank you." Delphine whispers in Cosima's ear, making her shiver lightly.
"Yeah... Hmmm... Sure, no prob." The brunette gives a reassuring squeeze on Delphine's arm. "They seem... nice."
"Okay..." The blonde chuckles a little. "C'mon... Food, lots of food." She says, tugging Cosima by the wrist in order to get her to stand up from the couch.
And there was... Lots and lots of food. Mr. Cormier wasn't joking, they could be eating for three days and still have food left.
"Did you make all this, Mrs. Cormier?" Cosima asks, getting another slice of turkey.
"Some... Chloe brought some over too." Delphine's mother answers. "She's a wonderful cook. I tried to teach Delphine as well, but she lacks the palate it requires to be a good cook. Or perhaps, she just ruined it with smoking."
Next to Cosima, Delphine sets, a little too forcefully, the knife on her plate and reaches for the wine, taking a generous sip. Under the table, the brunette puts her hand on her knee, sensing her losing control.
"Well, Delphine has other abilities. Not everyone can be good at the same things." Cosima says with a tentative smile, feeling all eyes on her, yet only the beautiful hazel pair seem to matter.
"You should say that to my teacher." James says with a frown. "She wants everyone to be good at math."
"God, I hated math growing up." Delphine says, relaxing a little under Cosima's touch.
"Don't encourage him." Her sister says harshly. "He needs to be good at it!"
"I'm not saying the contrary, I'm just saying he doesn't have to like it."
"Isn't that basically the same thing?"
"No, it's not! You can be good at something and don't like it." Delphine's starting to talk faster. "The same way you can like something but suck at it..."
"Girls! That's enough!" Mr. Cormier is forced to put a stop to it again. "Honestly, it's Christmas! Sometimes I feel like I'm still father to two obnoxious teenagers."
An uncomfortable silence sits on the table, everyone can see it right in front of their eyes, like it has taken a corporeal form.
Everyone could see it except the nine year old boy. "I think I hate math, like auntie Del."
That's followed by a death glare from Chloe at Delphine's way.
Such a fucking bad idea!
The meal progressed and slowly, very slowly the awkwardness starts to dissipate. After coffee, Delphine leans into Cosima. "I need a smoke." Her eyes going to the glass door that leads to the backyard. "Come with me?"
The brunette nods and follows the other woman outside. Delphine takes a few drags in silence and Cosima could see the tension leaving her body with every push.
"Now I know what you mean when you say your sister is all kinds of wonderful!" She comments, getting closer to the blonde.
"I don't say that! My mother does." Delphine corrects her, pushing the smoke out of her lungs.
"Yeah... Too bad she's taken." Delphine hums at her words, chuckling softly. "Maybe I should settle for her sister." Cosima says before her brain could process her words.
Delphine's eyes open wide, staring at Cosima, who really can't read her expression. The fact that she isn't screaming at her seems like a good sign. Cosima's sure Delphine is about to say something when the door opens and James' head peeks through it.
"Presents!" He screams and runs back inside.
Cosima's looking at her feet, not really sure if she wants to see what she'll find in Delphine's expression. Until she feels a push to her hand.
"Let's go inside." Delphine says, pushing her.
The fact that the blonde it's not avoiding contact tells Cosima she's, at least, not upset by her words and, when they sit back on the couch in the living room, side by side, that idea solidifies. Don't get too invested, Niehaus! Cosima warns herself. But it's hard to keep that in mind when, this time around, Delphine sits a lot closer to her.
And even more when a brilliant smile pushes the corner of her lips up as she opens Cosima's gift. Everyone thanked the guest for the presents, but it was Delphine's reaction that Cosima only cared for.
Ripping the wrapping paper and revealing a stuffed puppy, with golden hair, floppy long ears. In its collar a Christmas card that Cosima picked along the way. An enormous laugh escaping the blonde's mouth when she opens and reads it.
"What does it say?" Her nephew wants to know.
"You're the puppy!" Delphine reads it out loud.
"I don't get it." Chloe says annoyed.
"Private joke." Delphine answers her sister, but looking with a wide smile at the woman next to her.
At the end of the night, Delphine offers to drive Cosima home, who, after some insistence, eventually gives in. The drive is quiet. The blonde focusing on the slippery road, from the ice. The brunette too afraid to contemplate what she said earlier, but not able to let it go. The silence only broken by Cosima's directions.
"Is this it?" Delphine asks, parking the car next to the building Cosima indicated.
"Yep." Cosima answers quietly, fumbling with her hands. "I would invite you up for a drink, but you still have to drive. And besides, you probably want to get back home as soon as possible."
"Yes, to the magic that is Christmas!" Delphine says sarcastically. "I think I'm starting to understand why you're not a fan."
"Oh... No, no, no... This is my thing! You need to find your own."
"Christmas is a time for sharing..."
"Yeah... Just not too much." Cosima answers softly. "About earlier, I might have said too much. I'm really sorry."
"Cosima... I'm... I'm not upset." Delphine says, turning a little on her seat, so she's facing the American.
"You're not?"
"Well, maybe a little, when you said you needed to settle for me." She's joking, Cosima knows by the smile on her lips.
"You know that's not what I meant." She still wants to make sure.
"Hmmh..."
Delphine holds Cosima's hand and starts to softly trace her fingers. They are quiet again, but this once there's nothing awkward about it. The smaller woman closes her eyes, her mind refusing to focus on anything other than the soft touch on her hand.
"I would love to come up, but..." The French eventually says, making Cosima open her eyes.
"Yeah... I know. Don't worry."
"But you know what I've just realized?"
"Huh?" Cosima frowns her brow.
"I never gave you a present." Delphine reveals smiling.
"I knowwww... And after I put so much thought into yours. Like weeks ahead of planing." Cosima's faking a stern glare. "You should be ashamed of..."
"Cosima, shut up, I'm trying to do something nice here."
Delphine pushes Cosima's face close to hers with her hands involving the brunette's cheeks, her thumb gently caressing Cosima's lower lip, before her own lips follow. Cosima can sense them trembling a little as they touch, but then relaxing as the smaller woman returns the kiss, softly and slowly. It's a good kiss, born out of curiosity and softness. It's a smiling kiss. Until Cosima's will get to her and she runs her fingers under the blonde curls, pushing the back of Delphine's neck, sinking more into it.
When they part for air, their foreheads remain in contact and their hands gently stroking each other's cheeks. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this." Cosima confesses.
The French's laugh fills the car. "Do you think I haven't noticed all the salacious looks you've been given me?"
"Oh god, was I that obvious?"
Delphine pushes her face again. "Maybe." She mumbles against the brunette's lips.
"Now I really want you to come up." Cosima says, stealing another kiss.
"You mean, you didn't mean it earlier?"
"Nop! Just being polite." Cosima jokes.
"Can I see you tomorrow?" Delphine asks, her voice low.
"Let me check my schedule and I'll get back to you." The brunette startles Delphine as she gets out of the car, right after that.
The blonde looking at her, as Cosima closes the door of her building, phone in hand, typing something.
Delphine laughs to herself as she hears the text tone of her own phone.
Checked my schedule and am free from 8 till 24. The sooner the better! Sorry for leaving so quickly but if I stayed longer I wouldn't let you go back home. - C
The smile only growing in Delphine's lips as she turns the engine on. Another ring of her phone, making her check it again.
Oh... And Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays or whatever.