Swear It Again, a csi: new york fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Song rightfully belongs to Westlife!

A/N: Another CSI: NY songfic/one-shot! Hope its lovely!

Swear It Again

Danny's POV

It was 11 o'clock and I was driving home to Lindsay and I's apartment from work on the busy streets of New York. I should have been relieved I was leaving work after a long, hard, tiring day. But I wasn't, not even the least. The past week I was feeling like Lindsay was pulling away from me. And that's one of the worst feelings a man can get, the feeling of their wife pulling away from them.

I don't think I've ever felt a worse feeling.

I wanna know
Who ever told you I was letting go
Of the only joy that I have ever known
Girl, they were lying

Though, being rejected by her those few times didn't feel so good either.

Just look around
And all of the people that we used to know
Have just given up, they wanna let it go
But we're still trying

Pulling into the lot I quickly got out and locked my car, hurrying to the doors. This couldn't wait another day, this feeling was eating me from the inside out. I decided to take the stairs because I didn't have the pacentice for the elevator right now, plus we didn't live that far up.

But as I was running on stair at a time, I got a thought. Maybe one of the worst thoughts I've ever thought up.

What if she's pulling away because...because she thinks I don't love her anymore?

Thinking this, I took almost three steps now. I reached the door and almost broke it down...Almost.

So you should know this love we share was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I
Just you and I

I burst through the door, I saw Lindsay sitting on the couch in silence. Her face showed that she had been crying, and she looked stressed. Over what? I had no clue, work maybe?

"Oh god," I walked over to the couch and sat by Lindsay. I reached for her hand but she pulled it away. "Lindsay, what's wrong?" I asked.

She looked into my eyes, I could see all the hurt, it broke my heart. I hated seeing her like this.

"What's wrong?" She repeated. "Maybe you should ask your work that, I bet it would know."

I looked at her confused, "Wha-What are you talking about?"

She shook her head, "Danny, you were supposed to be home at seven."

I nodded, "Yeah, I know. I had to finish a few things and then I wanted to get a head start on a few others. But what does this have to do with-" I froze. I knew exactly what she meant.

I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again

It hit me, it wasn't her pulling away from me, it was me pulling away from her.

All over again

I had been so focused on my work, I don't think I've talked to her in a week. A week? I haven't talked to my wife in a week. My fucking wife! I'm her damn husband and I haven't talked to her in a week!

I haven't talked to the one person I love more then anything and anyone in the whole world, in a week!

She thinks I'm going to leave her and Lucy for my work!

"Oh god, no Lindsay, no, Lindsay I love you more then anything or anyone in the world. I would never- I'm so sorry I-" I stopped, I felt like such a selfish bastard. Putting my work before my own family? That was the most fucked up thing any man could do.

Some people say
That everything has got its place in time
Even the day must give way to the night
But I'm not buying
Cos in your eyes
I see a love that burns eternally
And if you see how beautiful you are to me
You'll know I'm not lying

"Lindsay, listen," I grabbed her hand and held it in mine tightly, I looked straight into her eyes.

"I love you Lindsay, you and Lucy both. I love you guys more then anything in the world and I would never leave you guys. Not for anything. I would be a cold-hearted jerk to walk out on you two. And probably out of my right mind. You two are my life, and if I ever walked out on you guys for my work, or another women, I'd have to kill myself. Without you guys I'm nothing, I would have no life. Imagining life without you two just isn't possible, and it never was. Right when I met you I knew that without, I'd be nothing. My life would mean absolutely nothing if you weren't in it. The world would mean nothing.

Sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye
But even if we try
There are some things in this life won't be denied
Won't be denied

"You and Lucy are everything to me. I can't even comprehend the love I have for you guys, the love I feel for you guys. You two are my rock, my whole entire life, my world. You guys are the only thing that should come first in my life, not work. Work doesn't even matter to me right now. I'd rather die then ever give you the feeling that I'm pushing away from you. I feel like a complete and utter bastard knowing I made you feel this way Lindsay. I'm so, so, so sorry." I stopped. It looked as if she was about to cry, and I got the feeling I probably looked that way too.

I don't know how I'll go on living with the feeling that the one person I love more then anything, I made feel like I was pushing away and walking out.

I wasn't done though, not at all.

The more I know of you is the more I know I love you
And the more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more
And the more that you love me, the more that I know
Oh that I'm never gonna let you go
Gotta let you know that I

"This Lindsay, is the worst feeling I have ever felt. It makes me not even want to live, but the thing that makes it great that I actually can live, even with that feeling, is that I have you. Every man dreams to have someone like you, Lindsay. And have an amazing daughter like we do. Every man dreams to one day have a love as strong as we do. Our love now is probably stronger then ever before. And I'm happy it's our love, nobody can ever take it away. I'm never going to let you go Lindsay, not ever. And if you ever felt that way, it's never going to happen. I love you so much, and I know I've said that a million times but it's true. You are my everything, you and Lucy," I saw a tear fall from her eye, and I moved in closer to her.

I remember hearing this song once, and the chorus was the part that made me think, 'That's how I feel towards Lindsay, and I hope she knows that'. And the chorus never left my head. I remember ever since then, whenever I felt I couldn't take the world anymore, got stressed over work, or just missed Lindsay, I sung the chorus to myself. Or hummed it even. It always reminded me of her and how much I love her, and that my love for her was so strong it would never go away. Not ever.

I'm never gonna say goodbye
(I'm never gonna say goodbye)
Cos I never wanna see you cry
(never wanna see you cry) All:
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
(swear it all over again and I)
I'm never gonna treat you bad
(never gonna treat you bad)
Cos I never wanna see you sad
(never wanna see you sad)
I swore to share your joy and your pain
(oh no, oh no)
And I swear it all over again

So, I sang her the lyrics softly,

"I'm never gonna say goodbye
'Cause I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
'Cause I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again."

I looked deeply into her eyes, by now, she had many tears and I had managed to let one fall. I lifted the hand I wasn't holding her's with and used my thumb to wipe away some of the tears.

"Lindsay," I whispered, leaning my forehead against hers, "I love you so much, and am so, so sorry."

All over again
All over again
And I swear it all over again

A/N: The song is amazing! So I'd give it a listen! As for the story, I cried a little bit while writing it! I'm to tired to edit it and read it over so if there are mistakes and errors, its because of my laziness! Haha!

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