You Gave Me Two Options, When I Only Ever Really Had One.
First Fiction, please review and let me know if its good enough to keep going, please :)
I do not own any of the Hollyoaks characters or storylines!
"Cam! We can't keep doing this, my mum is going spare, she says if she gets one more phone call from the head master about me skipping school she's sending me off to boarding school, in France!" Even as I said this though, I wasn't really bothered and the thought never even slowed me down as I ran after Cameron up onto the school roof, the irony was that we never actually skipped school, we just spent the time we should be in lessons on the roof.
All Cameron had to say was, "she'd never do that to you babe she would miss you too much, come 'ere" and then he grabbed me and we twirled round and round and round just laughing and smiling until we fell onto the floor in a tangled mess. He leant in to kiss me, this wasn't the first time, but it was the first time that it had ever felt like this, there was such a need, an urgency, a passion to it, I never wanted it to end and it didn't, the next thing I knew his hand was sliding up my leg and what followed next was when everything started to go wrong..
Approximately ten minutes later I was buttoning my top up all hot and flustered and feeling very self-conscious and embarrassed, "I can't believe we just did that, we're only 13, what were we thinking, and on the school roof as well!" that's when I felt his arm slide round me "shush babe, it's alright, I'm sorry, I just can't help myself when I'm around you, I promise though that the next time we do it, we'll both be ready and prepare ourselves slightly more, okay?" all he got back was an "okay" before I made some awkward excuse about having to go and pick Tegan up.
Over the next few days I spent my time dodging calls and texts from Cameron, I loved him, I really did and in the moment it felt right, but now I can't help but regret it, I know what we did was reckless and stupid but I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen, karma shall we say for the stress I put my mum through.
A week later, I finally felt back to myself enough and after a few apologies and an awkward meeting with Cam everything was back as it once was before, us two teenagers running around causing havoc leaving others to pick up the pieces after us, but I was happy, I was in love and I felt like I was floating.
Two months later though I was brought down to earth with a bang when it was revealed that my little sister Tegan had been diagnosed with cancer, it progressed quickly and within a month she was in hospital along with my mum and dad who had pretty much moved in there with her, leaving me and my thoughts to be alone. One Tuesday afternoon I was lying on Tegan's bedroom floor remembering all the fun we'd had in there when I saw one of my old pyjama tops sticking out of her drawers, I took the top to my room, folded it up and went to put it in my cupboard and that's when I saw them, the box of Tampons, and it hit me then, when was the last time I'd had a period. You see I hadn't long been having them so I'd kind of forgotten about them, well until that Tuesday afternoon, so I sat and I thought and the last one I could remember was before me and Cam, you know.. did it.
That was the moment I entered panic mode, we'd only done it once, I'd been too self-conscious ever since, how could it have happened from one time? I didn't know what to do, I couldn't tell Cameron because what if I was wrong and I couldn't do that to him and it just be a false alarm and I certainly couldn't tell my mum and dad with what they were going through, so for once in my life I came to the realisation that this was one thing I'd have to do on my own. That night I couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned until 8am when I knew the shops would open and walked myself down to the local convenience store, once in there I was overwhelmed by the choice of pregnancy tests so I just picked up the most expensive one figuring it be the best, stuffed it down my top and walked out, after all I couldn't take it up to the counter as the man knew my mum.
When I got home I rushed to the bathroom, followed the instructions and waited for the agonizing two minutes to be up, when I finally got the courage to look at the little screen, my heart stopped and my life changed, all because of that little blue plus sign or 'positive' as the pack said, but I couldn't look at it as positive, I was 13 and pregnant, I repeat 13 and pregnant. The week that followed was terrifying, I was the sort of person that knew exactly who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do and now everything had changed, me and Cam had been planning on running away because nobody took our relationship seriously but we couldn't do that now and anyway Cam had been acting funny around me lately always being busy with 'friends' and sketchier than usual around my policewoman mum, so that didn't exactly fill me with confidence about telling him. I came to the conclusion I couldn't do this on my own and I realised I needed my mum, I didn't want to disappoint her even more than I already had or put more pressure on her, what with Tegan's cancer but I needed her, so that afternoon I planned my speech, but when I actually came to tell her it didn't go as I planned.
"Mum, I'm pregnant, please just listen to me, please, I know, I'm sorry, I was stupid, I know, please" that's basically the only words I said, the rest of the time was filled with her screaming and shouting at me followed by her shoving me out the house with the door being slammed behind me with her words of "go and think about what you want to do about your mess and then come back to me" and something about "it's all that boys fault, I knew he was trouble, I never approved, he has got to go" ringing in my ears. So much for her supportive conversation I had imagined, with her sitting down with me and going through my options, nope I was on my own.. again.
I wandered around the village for a while before I came to my favourite place, a big old oak tree that had a Leela shaped curve for me to sit in overlooking the city, I sat for what felt like hours but in reality had only been thirty or so minutes and that's when I let my guard down and really started to think. I thought about how this child would be a mix of me and Cameron, good and bad qualities alike, it excited me but kind of scared me too, my blonde hair and blue eyes and Cameron's charm would create a kid that would break hearts but my stubbornness and Cameron's attitude would test the patience of a saint. As I thought I noticed my hand was resting on my stomach and the ever so slight bulge that was there, I'd figured out I was three months along by now, which did not give me much time if I was to have an abortion, but even as I thought that word I felt bile rise up in my throat and my arms crossed around my stomach, no way was I ever going to have an abortion, and nobody could make me.
I returned home safe in my decision that I was going to keep the baby and raise it myself and was going to tell Cameron in the evening, however as soon as I shut the front door behind me, my mum was on me, she barely allowed me to get out "I'm keeping.." before she started screaming, "no way in hell, you're not keeping it, you've ruined your life enough, I'm not letting you ruin it further, I've booked you in for an abortion in two days' time, keeping it, pfft you can't look after yourself, you're 13 you child, how in god's name could a child raise a child." And with that I was gone, back out the front door running as fast as my legs could carry me to my one true love, to the father of my baby, to Cameron. I ran to where I knew he'd be, to the skate park and found him sat on the concrete steps on his own, I sat next to him, my shoulders heaving from running and crying, he wrapped his arms around me and whispered "shush babe, everything is going to be ok, I've sorted it, we're free now, we can run, we can leave" I lifted my head and looked at him the confusion written on my face "what have you done? It doesn't matter I need to tell you something I'm.." I paused, out of breath and with that pause the sirens and flashing lights descended on us and he was whisked away from me in handcuffs before either of us had a chance to say anything. As I watched him being driven off in the back of the police car, I finished my sentence, "I'm pregnant" I whispered as the tears rolled down my cheeks and I realised how truly alone I was.