Title: Poking the Bear with a Stick (Or, Washington's death wish)
Author: yourstar202
Claim: Detroit 1-8-7
Table: Buffet
Prompt: #7 ("Okay, Mr. Crankypants. Geeze!")
Rating: T (Language)
Disclaimer: Detroit 1-8-7 does not belong to me in any way
Author's Note: Unbeta-ed; all mistakes are mine. This was written for my prompt table over at fc_smorgasbord
Summary: "I'm not working with you for the rest of the day!"
Warnings: Slightly on crack, but other than that…none
Notes: Spoilers for the whole Season so far...

Detective Louis Fitch was in a black mood. He did not have the patience to deal with his partner's inane babbling today. He thought he had gotten the point across earlier when he told the kid to "please for the love of God, shut it for ten minutes".

It had worked.

For that precious, blissful, ten minute quiet period.

After that, off Damon Washington went, talking non-stop about everything that apparently crossed his mind. He went on about his boy, which Fitch didn't mind so much, then moved to trying to find a new ringtone for him, then jumped to the topic of lunch. It was giving Fitch a headache at the rate his partner subject jumped.

"Kid! Just shut the hell up and do some work!" Fitch finally snapped at him, when Washington jumped to the topic of what movie he should take his wife to see on their next day night which was coming up in two days.

Washington blinked at him and replied, "Okay, Mr. Crankypants. Geeze!"

That was last straw. "THAT'S IT!" Fitch yelled, "I'm not working with you for the rest of the day!"

"Wha—"

Fitch got to his feet. "Stone, trade me desks right now!"

John Stone turned and opened his mouth to tell him to shove it, not wanting to move away from his partner, Ariana Sanchez. But decided not to when he saw the murderous look in Fitch's eyes. He collected his stuff and did as he was told. Fitch sat down heavily in Stone's chair and found his day looking up as he saw Sanchez smiling beautifully at him. And he overlooked the fact her shoulder were shaking slightly with held in laughter.

Fitch picked up the phone to his right and quickly dialed it. It rang twice before the other end was picked up and John Stone answered it with a formal greeting.

"Don't touch my things." Fitch warned him, then hung up.

As he placed the phone back in the cradle, Ariana Sanchez broke down into a fit of laughter, resting her head on her desktop. Fitch watched her until her laughter faded and she wiped away the tears that had trailed down her cheeks.

"You done?" He asked her.

"For now," She replied, still smiling.

"Good. Don't make me switch partners again."

Her smile turned smug. "You wouldn't."

He actually smiled at that. "No, I wouldn't."

There was the sound of plastic wheels against the floor and Washington was beside him. "Why wouldn't you trade Sanchez?" His voice was a mix of teasing and indignation.

Fitch looked at him for a minute. "She's beautiful and you are not." Then leaned in and warned him one more time, "Now get away from me."

"Aye Aye, sir," Washington replied, rolling back to his desk.

Fitch let out a long suffering sigh and pulled his holster from his waistband. He handed it over to Sanchez, who took it without second thought.

"Hold on to that for me before I shoot him."

"Try getting it back from me," She rose to her feet; put his holster beside hers, inside the waistband of her pants, "We've got a lead, by the way."

Fitch stood and followed as she led the way past Washington and Stone. They paused, almost out of the bullpen, when Washington called Fitch's name. Fitch looked at the young man expectantly.

"Should we alert HR?"

"Why would we need to do that?" Fitch's brows furrowed.

"Your piece is in Sanchez's pants." His tone dripped with innuendo and he had a shit eating grin on his face.

Sanchez chuckled at that. "Don't I wish?"

Fitch's head whipped around from glaring at Washington to look at Sanchez with a look of surprise. She just grinned at him.

"C'mon, let's get out of here before you kill him and I have to cuff you."

Fitch inclined his head, not trusting what would come out of his mouth at that moment, and they moved to leave but not before hearing Washington's voice.

"He might enjoy that!"

They ignored him and kept moving toward the exit. Once they were gone, Stone raised an eyebrow at Washington.

"Do you have a death wish or something?"

Washington just laughed in response.