AN: Abby! Sorry I'm a little late, but I had no internet for a few days during the week! But I'm just in time for the New Year! I hope you had a Merry Christmas! And have an extraordinary New Year! I hope you enjoy your gift!
It's Peaceful in the Deep: A Finn/Rachel Story
The Finchel Secret Santa Project: For Abby
Looking out from underneath,
Fractured moonlight on the sea
Reflections still look the same to me,
As before I went under.
It's incredibly warm, and it smells like cinnamon. Funny, Rachel always smells like cinnamon which reminds him of Christmas. He loves Christmas. There's this heavy lump on top of him, and he knows it's not his blanket, but it's warm and it's definitely softer than the floor he's lying on. With a moan, Finn opens his eyes, groggy, content and really, really, sleepy because Rachel is currently sleeping on top of him.
Wait.
Finn freezes, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion, because why is Rachel here? Not that he's complaining, his fantasies are coming true right now, and then everything just snaps into place for him. The fire place, the blankets, his grogginess, and why he's on the floor right now acting as a big "Finn pillow" as Rachel likes to call him sometimes.
He just had sex.
Well, he just had sex with Rachel Berry the greatest, best girlfriend in the world and it meant everything, and it felt so right. He wouldn't mind doing it again, and again, and again-because she's always about practicing and making things perfect.
She's perfect, everything is perfect. The love he's feeling in his chest right now threatens to swallow him and he could easily spend the rest of his life like this. It's scary to think about that too, because he's only eighteen, should he be feeling like this? Should waking up next to a sleeping (not to mention naked) Rachel Berry feel this perfect?
Finn's not going to think about that right now, because this is much more important.
His crooked half grin appears on his face, because whenever Rachel sleeps, her nose scrunches up in this cute way. He begins to stroke her hair, hoping not to wake her up. A quick glance at the cable box, tells him is just a quarter after three am. His mom and Burt will be coming home at around nine in the morning, and who knows where Kurt is?
But he's really good right now, and the idea of just keeping Rachel in bed forever is looking more and more plausible.
See? A Rachel word.
Finn notices his tiny girlfriend stir in his arms, and he wonders if he is thinking too loud. She's always saying that she has some form of psychic ability. With a small little moan, Rachel opens her big brown eyes. For a moment she's confused, like she doesn't quite believe what she's seeing, and then this small smile forms on her lips. His heart drops to his stomach as Rachel begins rubbing small circles on his chest.
The glow from the fire gives her this heavenly glow, and he wonders if she believes in angles.
"Hi." Rachel says softly. Their legs are tangled together under the covers, he knows this because she keeps running her toes along his calves.
"Hey baby girl." Finn replies, his voice somewhat hoarse. He hears her breath catch at the nickname.
It's not the first time he called her baby girl, and it's definitely not the last time either. He likes calling her that when they're alone, or that time she came home crying after that NYADA showcase. It's special, they're special and she's never voiced that she didn't like it anyway.
"I like it when you call me that." Rachel says, crossing her arms over his chest and laying her head on them. "It makes me feel warm and safe."
See? Psychic.
Finn smiles and then concern crosses his features. "Are you okay? You know…down there?" Finn asks, hoping he didn't like scar her for life, or hurt her in any way.
"I'm fine, Finn" she tells him, dropping a kiss to his cheek. "Just a little sore, but that's to be expected."
He stares at her for a minute, making sure she isn't lying to him and says, "Good."
"Wanna go upstairs? My back is kinda killing me" Finn says later, and Rachel giggles commenting on how lumbar support is important for growing boys.
It still scares him, how insanely perfect waking up with Rachel is, and it worries him that he might not be able to have this later on. But he wants this peacefulness he has with her, and he can picture it in his future too. It's foggy and a little blurry, but Rachel is in it-he can just feel it.
He carries her up the stairs (it's hard when you're 6'3 and have the coordination of a mule) because she gives him this look that screams 'you better carry me or else' look. He laughs out loud when they clumsily collapse together on his big bed. Finn traps her with his body and starts to tickle Rachel's belly, causing her to have an intense giggle fit-complete with the little unladylike snorts he loves so much.
When she finally controls her breathing, a wide cheeky grin appears on her face. Finn smiles back because he feels different, and he wants to ask her if she feels any different too. Like everything is the way it should be.
"We'll figure out your dreams, Finn" she says, her eyes getting all droopy. It is close to four in the morning now. "Just don't give up on yourself."
He stares back at her; the lump that's now clogged in his throat is stopping him from saying anything coherent. Instead, Finn pulls the comforter over them and snuggles into her, smelling that lovely scent of her cinnamon shampoo. He closes his eyes just as he presses a final kiss to her temple, because he knows she loves forehead and temple kisses.
It's nice, this peacefulness. So he won't give up on it. Not that easily.
It's three in the morning when Finn crawls through the door one cold night in December. The 6 foot artificial Christmas tree gives their apartment a nice warm glow, and not to mention the little menorah that adorns the mantle, of their fake fireplace. Rachel says it will make the apartment more homey and rustic, while Finn thought it would burn a hole in their savings. It did both, but Finn could care less—the news that followed after their little fight sort of changed his feelings on that.
He can't wait to spend these next three days off with her.
Finn enters their bedroom, mindful that Rachel is probably knocked out. He removes his shiny black shoes, his holster, and the rest of his blues—a tradition that began almost four years ago. Changing into his favorite reindeer pajamas (a gift from Rachel last year) he takes off his gold chain where his wedding band hangs and places it back on his finger.
He can't risk losing it, especially on the job.
Finally, Finn manages to burrow himself under the covers, Rachel's cinnamon perfume calming his senses. In her sleep, Rachel turns her head toward Finn, and it never fails how much he loves this woman. He buries his nose into her hair, her little snores lulling him into a nice peaceful doze.
His doze only lasts for about thirty minutes, because Rachel's moans and groans abruptly wakes him. Finn is about to go back to sleep when he realizes what moaning and groaning might mean…
'Rachel!" he says with a hoarse cry, kicking the sheets away. "Is the baby coming? Oh shit! I have to call Kurt, Mom, Burt, maybe Mr. Shue-"
Rachel swats him over the head, her face more than annoyed. "Ow!" Finn cries, rubbing the back of his head.
"The baby is not due for another three weeks!" Rachel says hotly, rubbing her belly and sitting up so her back is against the headboard.
"Sorry, it's just so close to the date that I freak out a little." Finn says, propping himself on his elbow. "What woke you up?"
With an unladylike grunt Rachel begins, "Your daughter is going to be one amazing dancer, most likely a ballerina."
"Why in the world would you say that?" Finn asks, raising a confused eyebrow.
"From the way she's performing in my ribcage!" she gasps, as the baby continues to kick sharply. "I guess she knows that you're here now, isn't that right?" Rachel asks her big belly, her small hands rubbing comforting circles to relax the small life inside.
With an amused smile Finn places his own large hand on her belly, humming softly as the baby again kicks against his hand. He's man enough to admit that he cried the first time their baby kicked; they were shopping for a crib when Rachel just stopped in her tracks, holding her stomach. When he asked what was wrong, Rachel wordlessly placed his hand, along with hers, and he just felt it.
It's safe to say at least two Baby's R US managers came by to ask what was wrong, when everything was just perfect.
He lifts up Rachel's night gown, and begins to pepper her belly with little kisses. "Baby girl, you gotta stop waking momma like this." Finn playfully scolds. "She gets all cranky."
At that comment, Rachel thwacks him over the ear. "She's not even out of the womb yet, don't start pitting her against me!"
Finn just laughs, leaning over to drop a kiss on her forehead, and laying face first on his pillow. His hand still remains on her belly, "Think you can go back to sleep now?" Finn asks, somewhat muffled.
"How was your patrol?" she asks, ignoring his question.
"Good." Finn says, shrugging his shoulders. "Nothing exciting happened, but Lennie really likes me for some reason, he wants me to take the Dectective's Exam in a few months."
"That's great Finn!" Rachel says proudly, and Finn can tell from the way her voice is sounding she's going to knock herself out again. "Think these late nights will-?
"Yeah, they're going to happen a lot less frequently, but that's if I pass." Finn cuts her off, because really it was just a conversation he had with Lennie just a few hours ago. Did he really want to be a detective? Detective Third Grade Finn Hudson. It did have a nice ring to it.
"I think she's better now." Rachel says absently, changing the subject. "She must be anxious to meet us as we are to meet her."
Finn agrees, he can't wait to be able to hold that little girl in his arms. He knows she's going to be just like Rachel. With that same shiny brown hair, brown eyes, and a cute little smile—maybe even Rachel's voice. He can just picture them all together having karaoke nights, musicals, recitals and maybe even a baseball game or two.
After all, it's safe to try all sorts of extracurriculars.
"I think she's going to be a remarkable dancer, maybe a ballerina." Rachel says, looking over to Finn just in time to see a smirk play on his lips.
"I think you're wrong there, she's going to be a baseball star, or maybe a soccer player" Finn teases, watching how her face turns into a little pout. "I'm absolutely certain our child is going to be well-rounded in both the performing arts and athletic ability, I mean look at our individual prowess?" she says, crossing her arms.
"Whatever you say baby girl, now can we please get some sleep? I'm not letting you leave this bed tomorrow or the next few days I have off." Finn replies sleepily, the past ten night shifts finally catching up with him.
"But Finn! I want some of that Nutella in the cupboard!"
Ten years is a long time to be with someone and Finn knows this, the guys at work are kind of shocked that he's been with the same girl since high school. But really, Finn looks at these past thirteen years as nothing short of amazing and the next seventy are going to be just as awesome.
But right now, it's quiet, maybe too quiet and he wants to say something but he's afraid he might shatter this perfect moment. He smiles at the little newborn in his arms, her pink little cap almost swallowing her whole, but isn't she cold? Babies get cold easily don't they? He doesn't understand how he can just love her after only holding her a few short seconds. It's like this overwhelming feeling in his heart, like the first time he heard Rachel sing.
"Sweet Caroline…" Finn softly sings, breaking the silence as he counts ten little fingers and ten little toes. His parents and her dads, are coming over in the morning while Kurt and Blaine are currently setting up the Welcome Home party at the apartment. Caroline Elizabeth Hudson continues to sleep peacefully, unaware of the huge world around them.
It had been a tough decision choosing a name for her, especially since they were so sure it was going to be a boy. Rachel really wanted to name their baby Barbara, Fanny, or Evita maybe even a weird complex combination of the three. He was pretty sure she was watching Twilight again, because he shot down every last one of those names. So he came up the idea of choosing a name from a song, so they can sing to her. You know, make it special.
Rachel simply loved the idea.
So they looked up as many songs as possible, narrowing it down to the top four, Jackie, Michelle, Delilah and finally Caroline. Rachel eventually chose the name Caroline.
"It's kind of like a tribute to your mother." Rachel had said, because it's no secret that she adores his mother. He chose Elizabeth as her middle name, simply because Kurt threatened to destroy all their worldly possession if their first child did not carry some form of tribute to the great Kurt Hummel in the name.
He looks over to Rachel who is sleeping after a grueling eight hours of labor and bearing no complications will be able to go home shortly after she wakes up. The boys at the precinct gave him the whole weekend to enjoy fatherhood, before heading back out on patrol. Finn felt proud that he made such a strong impact on them, having been only on the force a little more than four years, a rookie in the eyes of a now retired after 55 years Lennie.
"And now I, I look at the night…" Finn continues to sing, and another voice joins in. The same voice that got him to New York, that made all his dreams possible, including the one in his arms.
A sleepy, groggy, Rachel smiles with him as she continues to sing, eyeing the little bundle with tears in her eyes. "And it don't seem so lonely…"
Finn hands the baby over to Rachel, already missing holding her. And really is it selfish to have her all to himself?
"Hey, baby girl," she says. There's this motherly glow illuminating from Rachel's smile, finally being able to hold little Caroline in her arms. "I've been wanting to meet you for so long." Rachel kisses the little girl's head, and Finn bats away the tears that collected in his own eyes.
Because it's peaceful here, especially in the deep.
As it turns out, his little girl has both the ability to perform as a ballerina and the ability to strike out three boys twice her size. No matter what Rachel has told her, Caroline wants to continue doing ballerina and baseball. She calls it her two favorite B things of all time. Right now Rachel has her hands full with three year old Christopher William Hudson, who can currently belch his ABCs. Let's just say Finn is ultimately proud of that feat, a chip of the old rock as the saying goes. Or is it block?
"Daddy! Did you see that fastball? I call it Barbara's Knuckle Sandwich." Six year old Caroline yells over to her father, whose sitting on the bleachers of the little league park with her bright pink baseball bag.
It's a hot summer day in June, and Finn decided that he would much rather spend the day with his daughter than sleep the day away. Besides, who's going to teach her how to throw a curveball? Even though he was made detective a when Chris was born, his days got a little more flexible but not by that much.
"I sure did! I'm pretty sure Ms. Streisand is going love that fastball when she hears about it." He tells her when she comes bounding down the pitcher's mound for her celebratory hug.
"Really? Momma says she would rather see me do the Sugar Plum Fairy dance instead." Caroline says, making sure to organize her bat bag before heading home. Despite the fact that Caroline did not inherit Rachel's love for all things vocal, she definitely loves to dance and that's good enough for Rachel.
It struck him just how alike Caroline and Rachel are, but at the same time—he's pretty sure those dimples are Hudson dimples.
"C'mon, Sweet, time to get you home." Finn says, "I have to go to work early tomorrow, and your momma has another early rehearsal."
"I like it when you call me that." Caroline says, holding her father's hand tightly as they walk towards their Ford Explorer. He looks down at her, smiling when she grins back at him, brown eyes alight with happiness. "It makes me feel really warm."
Later that night, when the kids are sound asleep, he asks Rachel something that's been bugging him for a while now.
"Do you have a nickname for me?"
Rachel grins, "You have to guess."
Finn pouts, his face an exaggerated frown before devilishly tickling her sides and pinning her underneath him. Her laughter filling their bedroom, "C'mon Rach, tell me!" Finn says, blowing raspberries into her neck causing her to squeal.
"We're going to wake up the kids." Finn taunts further, before he finally relents.
With a breathless laugh, she whispers, "My man…"
No need to pray, no need to speak
Now I am under.
And it's breaking over me,
A thousand miles onto the sea bed,
Found the place to rest my head.
Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.