Witches
By: Hermione L. Granger
Disclaimer: don't own anything you see
"In eighteen thirty four, Salem burned more witches than ever before, setting the record of," Professor Binns dronned on, putting half the class to sleep. The fading ghost didn't even turn around when Dean Thomas began to snicker.
"What?" Ron whispered at him, as Dean's snickers turned to full laughter.
"We've found a witch, may we burn her?" Dean choked out, not botheirng to keep his voice down.
"I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch," Hermione replied, beginning to laugh just like Dean.
"We've found a witch, may we burn her?" Dean asked, standing up.
"Well, how do you know she is a witch?" Seamus said, standing next to Dean. Even Ron began to laugh at this, Seamus's voice was high and squeaky.
"She's dressed like one!" Dean insisted, pointing to Hermione. By this time, even Binns had turned to listen.
"They dressed me up like this," Hermione argued as Dean pulled her over to Seamus.
"That's not your real nose?" Seamus asked, keeping up the weird accent.
"No, it's a false one," Hermione replied.
"Well, we did do the nose," Dean agreed, "And the hat. But she has got a wart." Hermione continued to glare.
"She turned me into a newt!" Justin Flinch-Fletchey said, standing. He then noticed the weird stares he got,"I got better."
"Burn her anyways!" Lavender shouted, standing to join Dean. The five muggle borns were now standing in the front of the room.
"Burn her, burn her!" Dean chanted along with Lavender.
"There are ways, of telling if she is a witch," Seamus interupted, "Now, why do witches burn?"
"Because, their made out of wood?" Dean asked.
"Good," Seamus said, drawing out the word, "Now, what can you also do with wood?"
"Make a bridge out of her!" Lavender shouted.
"Ah," Seamus said, acting as if Lavender's comment was normal, "But can you not also make bridges out of stone?"
"Oh yea," the three agreed.
"Does wood float?" Seamus asked.
"Um, yes," the "crowd" agreed.
"And what also floats in water?" Seamus asked.
"Wood?"
"Lead?"
"Very small rocks?"
"A duck!" cried Harry, taking a cue from Hermione who was mouthing to him.
"Ah, a duck," Seamus said.
"So, if she's a witch," Dean stammered, "Then she'd be made of wood, and would weigh the same as a duck."
"Exactly!" Seamus exclaimed, "We'll use my larges scales." The group traveled over to the large scales that just happened to be sitting in the corner of the room (A/N: plot hole), and put Hermione and a duck she quickly conjured up on the scales. They made it even so Hermione weighed the same as the duck.
"A witch, a witch, burn her!" the three chanted as they disolved into a fit of giggles along with Seamus.
"Oh that was a fair spot," Hermione just managed to get out before joining in the laughter. At that moment the bell rang to let them out of class. The three left one of the best History of Magic classes they had ever attended, shaking their heads, not explaining their weird scene.
"Monty Phyton pulls Muggles together," was all Hermione would say.
By: Hermione L. Granger
Disclaimer: don't own anything you see
"In eighteen thirty four, Salem burned more witches than ever before, setting the record of," Professor Binns dronned on, putting half the class to sleep. The fading ghost didn't even turn around when Dean Thomas began to snicker.
"What?" Ron whispered at him, as Dean's snickers turned to full laughter.
"We've found a witch, may we burn her?" Dean choked out, not botheirng to keep his voice down.
"I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch," Hermione replied, beginning to laugh just like Dean.
"We've found a witch, may we burn her?" Dean asked, standing up.
"Well, how do you know she is a witch?" Seamus said, standing next to Dean. Even Ron began to laugh at this, Seamus's voice was high and squeaky.
"She's dressed like one!" Dean insisted, pointing to Hermione. By this time, even Binns had turned to listen.
"They dressed me up like this," Hermione argued as Dean pulled her over to Seamus.
"That's not your real nose?" Seamus asked, keeping up the weird accent.
"No, it's a false one," Hermione replied.
"Well, we did do the nose," Dean agreed, "And the hat. But she has got a wart." Hermione continued to glare.
"She turned me into a newt!" Justin Flinch-Fletchey said, standing. He then noticed the weird stares he got,"I got better."
"Burn her anyways!" Lavender shouted, standing to join Dean. The five muggle borns were now standing in the front of the room.
"Burn her, burn her!" Dean chanted along with Lavender.
"There are ways, of telling if she is a witch," Seamus interupted, "Now, why do witches burn?"
"Because, their made out of wood?" Dean asked.
"Good," Seamus said, drawing out the word, "Now, what can you also do with wood?"
"Make a bridge out of her!" Lavender shouted.
"Ah," Seamus said, acting as if Lavender's comment was normal, "But can you not also make bridges out of stone?"
"Oh yea," the three agreed.
"Does wood float?" Seamus asked.
"Um, yes," the "crowd" agreed.
"And what also floats in water?" Seamus asked.
"Wood?"
"Lead?"
"Very small rocks?"
"A duck!" cried Harry, taking a cue from Hermione who was mouthing to him.
"Ah, a duck," Seamus said.
"So, if she's a witch," Dean stammered, "Then she'd be made of wood, and would weigh the same as a duck."
"Exactly!" Seamus exclaimed, "We'll use my larges scales." The group traveled over to the large scales that just happened to be sitting in the corner of the room (A/N: plot hole), and put Hermione and a duck she quickly conjured up on the scales. They made it even so Hermione weighed the same as the duck.
"A witch, a witch, burn her!" the three chanted as they disolved into a fit of giggles along with Seamus.
"Oh that was a fair spot," Hermione just managed to get out before joining in the laughter. At that moment the bell rang to let them out of class. The three left one of the best History of Magic classes they had ever attended, shaking their heads, not explaining their weird scene.
"Monty Phyton pulls Muggles together," was all Hermione would say.