This is my first story and I got a random inspiration one night when watching clips of Grey's Anatomy. Kendall takes on the roll of Meredith Grey as well as all the other characters taking on other roles. I didn't mark this a crossover because I am placing Big Time Rush characters in the Grey's Anatomy universe. This first chapter follows the Grey's first episode very closely, mainly cause I was able to track down a script, and I needed a starting point. I am hoping to be able to break it away form the show and mesh character personality's together.
This chapter took me a while, and I had a script to follow so I am assuming the next few will take a bit longer. I will keep this going as long as I feel like I can, writing is not my strong suit and I started this on a whim, thankfully I had a lovely lady there listening to me talk about the idea and read this for me giving me confidence to post it. I have a few cut scenes that maybe eventually I will publish, they just don't contain Kendall and Logan which is why they didn't make the cut. Thank you for reading, and any feed back you want to give me would be more than appreciated. Thank you.
I do not own Grey's Anatomy or Big Time Rush and bless Shondra Rhimes and Scott Fellows for writing these great shows.
Kendall (Voice Over)
The Game. They say a person either has what it takes to play, or they don't.
My mother was one of the greats. Me on the other hand… I'm kinda screwed.
Light flitters through curtains of an over cramped living room, stacked with boxes, as if the occupant has just moved in no more than three days prior. Stirring begins on the couch, which seems like its been there for months compared to the boxes that occupy the room. A young blonde, who seems to have passed out on the couch begins to stir, brushing the morning from his emerald eyes and moving from the couch to start gathering his clothes, as his cheeks redden with slight humiliation at the other raven haired man laying naked on the floor.
"This is…" says the voice from the floor
"This is embarrassing on so many levels. You have to go." Says the other as he continues to get dressed, mentally slapping himself.
"Come back down here. We'll pick up where we left off…"
"No you have to go. I'm late. Which isn't what you want to be on your first day of work so…you have to go" Says the blonde as he begins to throw clothes at the other, who is now sitting up and taking a look at the room around him, taking not of the lack of organization, the obscene amount of furniture and post-its marking everything around him. "You actually live here?" asks the raven haired gentlemen.
"No. Yes. Kind of." Says the blonde, still gathering clothes.
"it's nice. Dusty. Odd. But nice. How do you kind of live here?"
"I moved in two weeks ago. From Boston. It's my mother's house. Was my mother's house. I'm selling it."
"I'm sorry." The raven responds
"For what?"
"You said 'was'…"
"My mother's not dead, she's…You know what? We don't have to do the thing."
"Oh, we can do anything you want."
"The thing. The exchange of personal details of our lives, pretend we care…Look, I'm going upstairs to shower. And you won't be here when I get back. So goodbye…?" The blonde says waiting for a name.
"Logan."
"Logan". Stretching out a hand. "Kendall"
"it was nice making your acquaintance."
"Bye, Logan" Kendall says with a slight chuckle, only slightly hinting at how humiliated he is.
He runs upstairs, as Logan, grinning a perfect smile, begins to dress.
Kendall ran down the front steps of the moderately sized, suburban home in the middle of Seattle, running even further behind now than he was when he started his morning. Hitting the highway, pushing the previous night out of his head and remaining focused on getting to work as fast as he can. He runs parks and runs into the large building, which isn't as sterile looking on the outside as he remembers from his childhood and starts to find where he is supposed to be. He is late and sneaks in trying to go unnoticed yet a few of his new coworkers see him and turn around while listening to a taller man, with darkening hair, and dressed impeccably under his lab coat gives a speech.
"A month ago you were in med school, being taught by doctors. Now…" he says leading them into an empty operating room and flicking the switch. "you are the doctors. The seven years you spend as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to your breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under the pressure. Two of you will be asked to leave. This is the starting line. This is your arena. How well you play, it's up to you."
After this, everyone begins to look at one another, with a competitive gleam in their eye. Kendall can only swallow his nervous and hope for the best.
Kendall (V.O.)
"Like I said, I'm screwed."
"Martin! Robinson! Bond! Hawkins!" A resident calls from the door, only making Kendalls nerves stand on end. Next to him is a girl about his age, with blonde hair slightly lighter than his own, up in a ponytail. He recognizes her from the mixer event a few days earlier. They look at each other, vaguely remembering one another.
"You're Jo right?" Kendall says as the senior resident continues to call more names that aren't his.
"Which resident are you assigned to? I got Wainwright." The assumed Jo says.
"The Nazi? Me too."
A young guy, tan skinned with jet black hair, walks over, skittishly trying to interject into the conversation.
"You got the Nazi? So did I. Hey, at least we'll all be tortured together, right? –I'm Carlos? Garcia? We met at the mixer?" You had on a blue button up, with the tanned slacks…" says Carlos, almost biting his tongue. "I didn't mean anything by it, you were just pretty memorable."
Jo, disinterested in the lack of affect this has on her life begins to walk away, while Kendall just smiles politely at Carlos and turns away.
"Garcia! Taylor! Knight! Roberts!" Kendall hears, now showing a note of relief on his face. While Carlos just throws on a hap hazard smile and looks away and follows Jo and Kendall to where they were called, though the other two stop half way starring down the hall. Following their eyes, Carlos sees why they stopped. Instead of the large intimidating doctor they all expected with the nickname the Nazi, they find something mildly surprising. A woman of medium height, gorgeous brown hair and beautiful demeanor is wrapped in conversation with a nurse.
"That's the Nazi?" Jo speaks up.
"I thought the Nazi would be a guy" Carlos says.
"I thought the Nazi would be…a Nazi." Kendall interjects.
A tall brunette walks up fixing her curly locks as she goes, with a sound of panic in her voice she speaks. "Maybe it's professional jealousy. Maybe she's brilliant and everyone calls him a Nazi because they're jealous. Maybe she's nice."
Jo rolls her eyes. "Let me guess; you're the model I heard about."
Camille looks at Jo almost ready to stop dead in her tracks but her attitude 180's as they reach Dr. Wainwright. Smiling Camille introduces herself.
"Hi. I'm Camille Roberts."
With a death glare, that in all of Kendall's life has never been rivaled, Kelly Wainwright begins to address the four of them.
"I have 5 rules. Memorize them. #1: Don't bother sucking up. I already hate you; that's not going to change. Trauma protocol, phone list, pagers" she says addressing the materials on the counter behind her. "Nurses will page you. You must answer every page at a run. A RUN. That's rule #2." She says as she begins to take off leaving the four of them in the dust.
Walking across the hospital catwalk, Kelly speaks again.
"Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours-"
"48 hours?" Carlos says, shocked.
"You're interns. Grunts, nobodies, the bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders, work every second night until you drop and you don't complain." She says as she leads them into an on call room and again continues her list of rules, as they all listen intently.
"On call rooms the attending hog them. Sleep when you can, where you can. Which brings me to Rule #3: if I'm sleeping, don't wake me unless your patient is actually dying. Rule #4: the dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only will you have killed someone but you would've woken me for no good reason. We clear?"
Kelly's beeper goes off as Kendall raises his hand to ask the obvious.
"Yes?"
"You said 5 rules, that was only 4."
"Rule #5: when I move, you move." She says as she begins to run down the hallway and yelling at those in his path "GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Kendall and the rest of the interns begin to follow her.
A helicopter is landing on the top of the hospital as Kendall and Jo roll over a gurney. Where the medi-vac doctor begins to spill out the patients stats to Kelly.
"Katie Bryce. 15 year old female with new-onset seizures, intermittent for the past week. IV lost en route. Started grand mal seizing as we descended."
"Let's get her inside." Kelly yells over the helicopter.
Back in the patients room the patient begins seizing again as Kelly begins to yell orders at Camille and Kendall as they begin prepping.
"NO, NO! The white lead is on the right; righty whitey, smoke over fire!" Addressing Kendall who fixes his mistake. Camille is prepping a syringe as Carlos pulls out the IV tools.
"HEY! A large bore IV. Don't let the blood hemolyze. Let's go; 10 mg diazepam IM."
The patient finally comes down as Kendall takes note of a new presence entering the room. A tall man with brown hair, and an impeccable smile enters and addresses Kelly.
"Heard we got a wet fish on dry land" as he is handed the patients chart.
"Absolutely Dr. Stetson"
"Dr. Wainwright lets shotgun her." He says as the leaving the room almost as quickly as he entered, only this time Kendall also notices Jo's face of disappointment as the doctor leaves the room.
"Jo, you're on labs. Carlos, patient work ups. Kendall, get Katie down for a CT. She's your responsibility now." Kendalls heart drops as his eyes begin to scream how much he is not feleing this new task.
"What about me?" Camille says.
"Honey" Kelly says with a smirk "You get to do rectal exams" and leaves the room.
"You're lost" says the voice of the annoying tween on Kendalls gurney. 'Of course I'm lost but I'm not going to tell you that' He thinks.
"I'm not lost. How are you feeling?" He says outloud
"How do you think I'm feeling? I'm missing my pageant."
"Your pageant?"
"The Spokane Teen Miss. I was in the top ten after the first two rounds. This was my year. I could have won." She stops speaking as Kendall pushes her down another coradoor and turns around. "Hello?" she yells. "You are so lost. What are you, new?"
Annoyed Kendall looks at her and just says "Why don't you just tell me more about this pageant."
"Well, I twisted my ankle in the talent rehearsal? I do rhythmic gymnastics. Which is like, really cool. Nobody else does it. Al I did was trip over my ribbon and I didn't get stuck with someone this clueless." And with venom only a teen can deliver. "And that was like, a nurse." She finishes. Finally Kendall gives up, more or less due to the fact he finally found where CT was and can finally unload Katie for a few minutes of time.
"Have someone take her back to her room when she's finished and page me when her scans are printed" Kendall says walking away to go get lunch for the day.
Carlos sees Jo and Camille sitting at a table, Camille not eating, Jo her head buried in a book and sits down to eat with them.
"Eat this is a marathon not a sprint, you'll need your strength." He says to Camille who hasn't looked away from the spot behind Jo's head since he originally saw him.
"I can't. You try eating after 17 rectal exams. The Nazi hates me." Camille finishes pushing her tray away.
"You think that's bad? The Nazi's a resident. I have attending hating me. I pissed him off when I was dealing with our patient earlier and I don't think it's going to go over well."
"Did you know Kendall is inbred?" Jo interrupts caring nothing for the current conversation her fellow interns are having.
"Like it's not uncommon to have doctors for parents around here." Carlos says
"No, royally inbred, his mother is Jennifer Knight."
"Shut up, the Jennifer Knight?" Camille says.
"Who's Jennifer Knight?" Carlos asks
"Who's Jennifer Kni-, the Knight method? Where'd you go to medical school? Mexico?" Jo says annoyed
"She was one of the first big chick surgeons, she practically invented the abdominal retractor." Camille adds for Carlos.
"The woman's a living legend. A genius. She won the Harper-Avery. Twice."
"So I didn't know. ONE THING."
"Talk about parental pressure." Camille says.
Jo reclining in her chair, says "I'd kill to have Jennifer Knight as a mother. I'd kill to be Jennifer Knight. All I need is one good case and-"
But Carlos stops her, hushing her as he stuffs his face, seeing Kendall approach the table munching harshly on his food as he walks.
"Katie Bryce is a pain in the ass. If I hadn't taken the Hippocratic oath, I'd Kevorkian her with my bare hands." …Silence through the table as they all stare at him, which only aggravates Kendall further. "What?" he says but is interrupted by Dr. Jett Stetson approaching the table and speaking.
"Good afternoon, interns. It's posted but I thought I'd share the news. As you know, the honor of performing the first surgery is reserved for the intern who shows the most...promise." He says with a weird tone in his voice, that Kendall notices. "As I am running the OR today, I get to make the choice." Looking around his eyes land on the head of the table
"Carlos Garcia"
"Me?" Carlos says looking up at Dr. Stetson.
"You'll scrub in for an appendectomy this afternoon. Congratulations." He says and leaves the cafeteria. The other interns stare with jealousy in their eyes. Looking to Kendall he says
"Did he say me?"
Kendall overhears a conversation he probably shouldn't be hearing between Kelly and Jett, Kelly not wanting Carlos to be the intern to get broken in. He couldn't pay much attention due to tending to Katie's parents at the same time.
"They gave her a sedative for the sedative for the CT so she's a little groggy." Kendall tells them.
"Our doctor at home said she might need an operation. Is that true? Mr. Bryce asks Kendall but not before his wife adds by saying "What kind of operation?"
Slowly trying to escape the room due to his lack of knowledge, something he wont forgive himself for Kendall says "I'm not the doctor. I mean, I'm a doctor but I'm not the doctor. I'll get him for you." Quickly leaving and looking for either Kelly or Jett, Kendall bumps into Kelly by accident.
"Watch were you're going Knight." Kelly yells.
"Um, Katie's parents have questions. Do you talk to them or should I ask Stetson?"
"Stetson's off the case. Katie belongs to the new attending now. Dr. Mitchell. He's over there."
Kendall follows were Kelly pointed and sees a short raven haired man in discussion with two other doctors. The indicated doctor looks up and sees Kendall in the doorway and wears a look of surprise with a hint of amusement. Kendall's embarrassment shown throw, he began to feel like a deer in the headlights but managed to turn around and leave the room quickly. The new attending – Dr. Mitchell – was his one night stand from the night before; Logan.
Kendall picks up the pace as he can tell that he now has someone following him as he tries to casually walk through the hospital halls. He isn't fast enough though because he hears his name behind him.
"Kendall, can I have a word?"
"Actually, I was-" but he never finishes as the hand that matches the voice pulls him into a staircase near them.
Looking up and down the stairs to make sure it is unoccupied Kendall begins to speak.
"Dr. Mitchell-"
"Dr. Mitchell? This morning it was Logan and now it's Dr. Mitchell?" he says stepping the tiniest bit closer
"Dr. Mitchell, we should pretend it didn't happen."
"What never happened? You sleeping with me last night?" he says with a slight smirk "Or you throwing me out this morning. Because both are fond memories I'd like to hold onto."
Swallowing hard and trying to relieve the mixture of humor and tension surrounding them. Kendall continues, attempting to get back control of this conversation.
"No. No more memories. I'm not the dude in the bar anymore, and you're not the guy. This can't exist." Kendall says, forcing his emerald eyes to avoid those perfect brown ones that are staring into him. "You get that right?"
Slightly nodding Logan starts to speak again. "So you took advantage of me and now you want to forget about it?" He finishes with a crooked smirk.
Flustered Kendall says "I did NOT take-"
"I was drunk, vulnerable and good-looking. You took advantage."
Unable to contain his laughter, Kendall rebuttals. "I was the one who was drunk and you are not that good-looking. "
"Maybe not now. But last night. Last night, I was very good-looking. I had on my dark blue shirt. My good-looking shirt. And you took advantage."
"I DID NOT-"
Never one for letting Kendall finish a sentence, Logan speaks up again. "Wanna take advantage of me again? Say, Friday night?" With a look Kendall put all his energy into resisting.
"You are an attending. I am your intern and… Stop looking at me like that!" Kendall cuts off after watching Logan's face
"Like what?"
"Like you've seen me naked!" which earns a full smile from Logan, revealing those perfect teeth to Kendall for the first time since the night before.
"Dr. Mitchell, this is inappropriate. Did that ever occur to you?" Kendall blurts out and rushes away. Leaving Logan to ponder his words alone in the stair case, nodding his head for the air around him.
The four interns are in the hospital basement where spare beds and tray wracks are aplenty. Kendall is laying on a hospital bed while Camille does yoga stretches on the floor and Jo is reading a journal, not far from them. Carlos is fooling around in wheelchair, unrelentingly going off about his flub in the OR where he nearly killed a patient by messing up in surgery with Stetson.
"007. They're calling me 007, aren't they?"
Simultaneously Kendall and Camille comfort him "No ones calling you 007."
"Then how come I walked on the elevator and I hear 007 being whispered a floor later?"
"How many times are we going to need to go over this Carlos? Give me a number or I'll hit you." Jo says.
"They weren't talking about you, Carlos." Camille says.
"Would we lie to you?" Kendall adds.
"Yes!" Carlos says point out the fact that they've barely known each other.
"007 is a state of mind." Says Jo as she walks to the vending machine around the corner.
"Says the girl who finished first in her class at Stanford!" Carlos yells exasperated. Sighing he says "I should've gone into geriatrics. No one minds when you kill an old person."
"Surgery is hot, Carlos. It's the Marines. It's macho, it's hostile, it's hard core. Geriatrics is for freaks hwo live with their mothers and never have sex." Jo confidently retorts. Which causes Carlos to blush and say "I have got to get my own place." Bringing a chuckle from Camille and Kendall.
Kendall's beep goes off, cutting the mood just as quickly as it arrived and he jumps off, "911 on Katie Bryce. Oh man, I gotta go." And leaves everyone else in his dust.
As Kendall arrives up on Katie's level he is shocked by the panic going on in the room. He runs in and medical noise is thrown his way left with him to deal with it as he watches his patient seize. Frozen he begins to think and focus as nurses yell at him to get going.
"Okay she's full on lorazepam?" He questions
"yes" says a nurse
"You paged Dr. Wainright and Dr. Mitchell?"
"yes" says the same nurse, who then adds "Lorazepam's not working."
"Um load her with Phenobarbital! Load her with Phenobarbital." Kendall watches as it has no affect and checks Katie's chart but tosses it aside as she flatlines. He rushes to the crash cart by her bed. "Page Mitchell again!" he yells as he preps the paddles for the shocking.
"Charge paddles to 200! Clear!" still nothing, and Kendall just continues to panic and yell, "Charge again!" nothing again.
"Charge to 300! Everyone clear!" the monitor revealing nothing new but a solid line and the worst buzz in the world.
"Charge to 360! Clear!"
When still nothing Kendall grows impatient and demands the paddles be charged again, despite normal protocol. This time however, they work.
"I see sinus rhythm." Says a nurse.
"Blood pressure's coming up." another adds.
Relief sets in as Kendall and the nurses relax. Logan finally enters the room at a run.
"What the hell happened?"
"She had a seizure and then her heart stopped-" Kendall says but is cut short.
"Her heart stopped? You were supposed to be monitoring her!"
"Logan, I-"
"I've got her. Just, just go. GO!" He adds as he walks towards the patient checking her status and her heart himself.
Kendall, defeated and humiliated, walks from the room. He continues to walk, with a blanker stare than has ever been worn on his dimpley face. He makes his way towards the ground floor, outside as the rain falls. He hears Jo yell his name but continues out. He makes it as far as a tree and throws up on the ground. Turning, and realizing that Jo followed him he addresses her
"If you ever tell anyone I did that…" and they separate just as quickly as they united.
Later on, all the surgical interns are being ushered into a room. Kendall watches as Camille keeps falling asleep, Carlos eats and Jo is practicing surgical techniques on a banana. He starts walking in a circle.
"Sit down. You're making me nervous" Jo says
"If I sit, I'll never get back up. What are you doing?" he questions
"Practicing surgical knots in the hope that it wakes my brain." Which earns a chuckle from Carlos however Jo doesn't let that slide.
"What are you smiling about, 007?" though noting Carlos's slight mood shift she apologizes. "I'm sorry. I get mean when I am tired."
"You know what? I don't care. I'm hanging out in the OR today during a bypass with Stetson and I got to make sure the family was comfortable and relaxed. All is well."
Does anyone know why we are hear?" Camille asks. Almost to answer her question, Logan walks into the room followed by Kelly. Kendalls body tenses and he sits up as he begins to speak.
"I'm going to do something pretty rare for a surgeon. I'm going to ask interns for help. I've got a kid named Katie Bryce. Right now, she's a mystery. She doesn't respond to meds, her scans are pure and her labs are clean. But she's having grand mal seizures with no visible cause. She's essentially a ticking clock, and if I can't make a diagnosis she's going to die. I however can't do this alone. I need help and that is where you come in. I know you are all busy and have more work than you can handle, but I've been there. However, I am going to make it worth your while. Whoever finds the answer rides with me and assists on an advanced procedure. Dr. Wainwright will hand you copies of Katie's chart. We are running out of time so have at it."
Logan looks up to see his boss, Dr. Gustavo Rocque in the doorway nodding and he sighs with relief as he leaves the room to let the interns begin their research. After Logan leaves and Jo and Kendall each have a file Jo looks to Kendall and suggests the two of them work on the case together.
"You've been on Katie's case since the beginning if we figure it out we have a 50/50 shot at the surgery."
"We can work together but if we figure it out the surgery is yours. The less time I have to spend with Mitchell the better."
Jo's eyes light up like Christmas day. "Deal." Kendall sighs to himself thankful that she didn't ask any questions.
Kendall and Jo are sitting in the Seattle Grace Hospital research center surrounded by books and labs. They've been discussing the case back and forth for ages. Jo turns to Kendall and starts rambling.
"So she doesn't have anorexia, chronic renal failure or acidosis. It can't be a tumor. NO evidence on the Ct. You're seriously not gonna tell me why you won't work with Mitchell?" The last bit refocusing Kendall on the conversation between the two.
"No. What about infection?"
"No white count, no CT lesions, no fevers, nothing in the spinal tap." Jo pauses but continues. "Just tell me."
Sighing and looking at her he says "You can't comment, make a face or react in anyway." He looks at her and then decides its fine to trust her. "We had sex."
Shock sets in but Jo, quickly covers it remembering Kendalls rules. "What about an aneurysm?"
"No blood on the CT and no headache."
"No drug use, no pregnancy, no trauma." Looking to Kendall. "Was it good? I mean, he looks like he'd be good. I didn't expect him to be into guys but that happens, it's the new age, free love and all that. Was he good?" Letting all her inquiries pour out of the poor girl, Kendall just smirks and shrugs it off.
"We're out of answers. What if no one comes up with anything?"
"You mean, what if she dies? This is gonna sound terrible but I really wanted that surgery."
Laying back against a bookshelf across from Jo, Kendall begins "She's never gonna get the chance to turn into a person. The sum total of her existence will be almost winning Miss Teen Whatever." He looks to Jo and starts to chuckle. "You know what her pageant talent was? Rhythmic gymnastics. Who does rhythmic gymnastics? I mean-" Just as Jo starts to join in the mockery Kendall stops and looks at her.
"What?" she wonders, stunned by Kendall sudden realization which she does not understand.
"Get up. Come on." He says as he pulls her up and pulls her away with him to go find Dr. Mitchell and explain himself as they go.
They catch Logan just as the elevator is closing but Jo throws herself in front having it recline in and she then puts her hand there while Kendall stands behind her sheepishly as she begins to fill Dr. Mitchell in on the revelation.
"Katie competes in beauty pageants-"
"I know that. But we have to save her life anyway." Logan says with a smirk
"she has no headaches, no neck pain and her CT is clean. No medical proof of an aneurysm."
"Right"
"But what if she has an aneurysm anyway?"
"There are no indicators…"
"She twisted her ankle a few weeks ago practicing for the pageant."
"Look I appreciate that you are trying to help out but-"
Kendall cuts Logan off. Finally speaking up tired of the back and forth. "She fell. When she twisted her ankle. She fell." Logan looks at him.
Jo takes Logan's minute of silence as an opportunity. "it was no big deal. Not even a bump on the head. She got right back up, iced her ankle and felt fine. The fall was so minor her doctor never even thought to mention it when I was taking her history but she did fall."
"Do you know what the chances are that a minor fall could burst an aneurysm? One in a million. Literally." With that Jo moves and the elevator closes. Kendall and Jo walk away but are surprised when they turn around to see Logan rushing from the elevator.
"Let's go see if Katie is one in a million." and the threesome rush off.
Kendall finds Jo, silenced by anger, trying to be comforted by Camille. Opening her mouth to speak, Jo shoots her down immediately.
"Camille…"
"Maybe Kendall didn't mean to-"
"CAMILLE"
Kendall reveals himself filling the basement with tension, but cuts through it with his words.
"Ill tell him I changed my mind. You can have the surgery."
"You did a cutthroat thing. Deal with it. Don't do me any favors and don't come to me for absolution. You wanna be a shark, be a shark." Jo's words cutting a bit deeper than Kendall anticipated.
"I'm not-"
"Yes, you are. Only it makes you feel all bad in your warm gooey places. Screw you. I don't get picked for surgeries because I slept with my boss. And I didn't get into med school because I have a famous mother. Some of us have to earn what we get." Hurt beyond belief Kendall turns and leaves, defeated.
Kendall, continuing to carrying the weight of Jo's words, he decides to go find Logan, resolved in getting off the surgery and giving it to Jo to make up for his mistakes. He finds him in Katie's room shaving her head, in preparation for the surgery.
"I promised her I'd make her look cool. Apparently, being a bald beauty queen is the worst thing to ever happen in the history of the world." He says with a chuckle.
"Look, did you choose me for the surgery because I slept with you?" Kendall says cutting to the point.
"Yes." Looking Kendall dead in the face. When he just sighs and looks frustrated, Logan finishes. "I'm kidding."
"I'm not going to scrub in for the surgery. You should ask Jo. She wants it and I-"
"You're one of Katie's doctors." Logan begins with absolution, making it clear that what he is about to say is not to be argued. "and on your first day, with very little training, you helped save her life. You earned the right to see her case through to the finish. Don't let the fact that we had sex get in the way of you taking your shot."
Kendall lets the words set in and leaves the room, allowing Logan to finish his buzz job.
Kendall found Carlos and the two sit outside enjoying the fresh air and take a minute to relax on a window ledge.
"I wish I wanted to be a chef. Or a ski instructor. Or a kindergarten teacher." Kendall says.
"I would have made a really good postal worker. I'm dependable." Carlos says. He looks to Kendall and continues. "my parents tell everybody their song is a surgeon. It's this special accomplishment to them. Like I'm a superhero or something. If they could see me right now. Kendall, I destroyed a women's spirit. I promised her her husband's future and then it was taken away. Stetson destroyed me and made me deliver that news. I don't think that is something I can handle for seven more years."
"when I told my mom I was going to go to medical school, she tried to talk me out of it. She told me that I don't have what it takes to be a surgeon. That I'd never make it. The way I see it, a superheroes pretty damn good. The patient thing, you had to keep them happy, it wasn't your fault her husband passed away, I read the chart. His heart was weak and no one knew before hand. Promises are something you will just have to leave out of the comforting next time. Your intentions were good, and she won't forget that. Now you just have to move on to the next one. We both do."
Sighing, Carlos looks at him. "We're gonna survive this, right?" All Kendall can do is look at Carlos, not knowing the answer to that one himself.
Leaving Carlos to finish his work, Kendall heads to Post OP to fill out some labs. There he sees the chief, a man he would have recognized had he not gotten the job. Gustavo Rocque, a man from his past, is talking to a man whose height is similar to his own but his brunette hair was perfectly fixed. His back hunched and eyes darting, not wanting to meet the Chiefs as he reprimands him.
"Your patient is still short of breath. Did you get an ABG or chest film?"
"Yes, sir." He answers quietly.
"And? What did you see?"
"Sir, I had a lot of patients last night-"
"Name the common causes of post-op fever." The chief says cutting him off. "No, don't take out your notes. Off the top of your head. You don't look it up, you learn it. It should be in your head." He says calmly but loudly. "Now, name the common causes of post-op fever."
"I…" he responds sinking as lower as his spin can allow without falling over.
Turning to address everyone in the room, Gustavo speaks. "Can anybody name the common causes of post-op fever?"
Looking at the man before him, Kendall swallows and begins to speak, louder than usual.
"Wind, water, wound, walking, wonder drugs. The five W's. most of the time it's wind –splint or pneumonia. Pneumonia is easy to assume; especially if you're too busy to do the tests" at which point, the chief looks at the women he had been addressing and turns back to Kendall.
"What do you think is wrong with 4B?"
"The fourth W: walking. She's a prime candidate for a pulmonary embolus."
"How would you diagnose" Gustavo asks, continuing to push Kendall in front of everyone.
"Spiral CT, VQ scan. Provide O-2, dose with heparin. Consult for IVC filter. "
Gustavo, content with the diagnosis turns to the male. "Diamond, you do exactly what she said. Then go tell your resident I want you off this case."
He turns back to face Kendall. "I'd know you anywhere. You're the spitting image of your mother. Welcome to the game." Patting him on the shoulder and leaving. Kendall returns to work with more confidence.
Kendall sits in the hallway by the OR's. He is astonished at what he just saw. Pushing his guilt aside, he realizes just he watched his first live brain surgery. Logan performed it brilliantly. The two had been made eye contact during the surgery that made Kendall's heart speed up almost as much as the surgery itself. Jo approaches him to bring him out of his post surgical haze.
"Good surgery." She says.
"Yeah." Kendall agrees. They sit in silence for a moment both waiting for the other to speak up. Jo starts.
"We don't have to do the thing where I say something and you say something and then somebody cries and it's a whole moment or whatever?" she says
"Yuck." Kendall responds laughing.
"Thank god. Go get some sleep. You look like crap."
"Hey, I look better than you."
"Not possible." Jo says as she leaves. Making Kendall smile. Finally Logan enters the hallway where Kendall is sitting. Kendall adjusts his posture and begins to speak.
"That was amazing. You practice on cadavers, you observe and you think you know what it's going to be like when you're actually standing at the table but that…it was a high. I don't know why anyone does drugs." He finishes, looking at Logan with a somewhat longing stare.
"Yeah…" is all Logan can muster. Their eyes meet, still sensing a connection between them. "Well…I should go. Do this." Logan says motioning to Katie's chart. "See you around?"
"Yeah. See you around." Kendall says with a smile, as Logan leaves him to his silence.
Kendall V.O.
I can't think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field.
Kendall leaves the hospital with Camille, Jo and Carlos. The four of them enjoying themselves, and relieved they made it through their first shift. He looks at them and turns around at the hospital, proud of himself for making it through the first step. He turns back and catches up with everyone else and drapes and arm over Carlos who is handing out his number to everyone eagerly, and they all laugh at his energy.
However Kendall's day is not yet finished. He drives to an older looking building and enters and says hello to the receptionist. He sits across from a women who is in her fifties, who just stares at him as he talks.
"So I made it through my first shift. The other interns…they're pretty good people. You'd like them. I think. I don't know. Maybe. I like them. I changed my mind, by the way. About selling the house? I'm gonna keep it. I'll have to get a couple of roommates, but…I don't know. It's home. You know? He says waiting for the women next to him to respond. However it was not what he was hoping for.
"Are you the doctor?" she asks
"I'm not your doctor. But, I am a doctor." Kendall says, sadly.
"What's your name?" says the women.
"It's me, Mom. Kendall."
"Oh. Right." Silence falls between them,
"Are you the doctor?" Jennifer Knight asks her son once more.
"No." Kendall says, shaking his head.
"I used to be a doctor, I think." As the words leave his mothers mouth, Kendall grabs her hand.
"You were a doctor Mom, you were a surgeon." He says, reassuringly, grasping her hand tightly.