HELLO! This is a little story about Gwen feeling insecure as queen. I know that I see Gwen as a strong woman who has insecurities but has always triumphed. But this is a story where she needs someone to believe in her. Reviews would be fantastic!
Doesn't Matter (I have you) (Revised: 1/10/13)
Guinevere had been queen for three months. Despite the anguish and stress that filled he heart, she wanted only to please her husband and her kingdom. The daughter of a blacksmith was the only title she thought she would ever know. That is until Arthur had found the queen of his heart, and his kingdom. He had no doubt in his mind that Guinevere would be a just and loyal queen. Still, deep inside, she was scared.
She felt eyes burning through her skin as she sat in court. Arthur was speaking with another king about bandits and other problems that they shared. He knew that some, albeit many, did not agree with his decision to marry Gwen and make her his queen. But he knew where his heart was, and who held it, and there was only one person who would ever have it. And that same person would hold it forever. It didn't matter what others thought, he knew what was right.
They had been sitting in this meeting for several hours. She was tiring of idle conversation. Of the same argument going around in circles. She wanted to be away from these eyes, away from the whispers and looks. Arthur interrupted her deep thoughts when he cleared his throat and smiled at her. He then nodded to Merlin who approached the queen. "Is there anything you need?" he knew that she was growing restless with the stares and the whispers.
"A day without whispering and stares would be nice." she said with a hint of sarcasm. Merlin chuckled.
"It will be over soon. But know that Arthur has been pitting up with this his entire life." he smiled at her as he backed away. Although grateful for the encouragement of her friend she sighed heavily, but near silently to the bystander. Something she had learned to do since she was young was to sigh, and show her emotions silently. She put a slight smile on her face and focused back on the issues at hand. As Merlin had predicted, the meeting was soon adjourned. The king stood and offered his hand to his queen. They exited the room almost silently.
When thy returned back to their chambers, Arthur closed the door and looked at Gwen as she sat down at the table. She was hoping she could retire her feelings and hopefully slide pass as fine. Arthur knows better.
"What's the matter?" he said, removing his cape.
She sighed. "Am I a good queen?" She tried, and failed, to hide the emotion in her voice.
Arthur stopped what he was doing. He looked at her and saw her eyes downcast and her finger picking aimlessly at the table. He moved to sit at the table with her. He took her small hand in his. She looked up at him to reveal tear filled eyes. "Guinevere, you are a wonderful queen. Loved and respected. Why do you question yourself?" he search her eyes for an answer.
This time she completely melted. Tears ran freely from her eyes. She took a moment before she could speak. "The court does not see me as a queen. They see me as they always have. As a poor servant, an orphan no less." she shook her head. "nobody thinks that I'm good enough for you." she sobbed.
Arthur looked at his beautiful wife. She was gorgeous. She looked spectacular. Adorned in a deep blue gown that was both attractive and respectable. But more than looks she had brains that would make Geoffrey speechless. She was everything to him. "Gwen," he said standing tall. "I thought you were gone when Morgana took Camelot, but somehow you and Leon found us..." he reached to put his hand on the nape of his neck. He breathed out as he prepared to make his confession. "I vowed that I would fight for you. If for nothing else then for the woman that I love.
"I knew that when I expressed my love for you that some would not agree with my views. I didn't care. I just knew that I would have you and settle for no one else. I know that we are young we have much to learn. I know that when I asked you to marry me that I was asking a lot. I knew that I was asking you to change a lot of what you were brought up to know. But I know that if anyone can rule this land, it's you.
"People will believe what they will. Nobody thought that I would love you this long. But when I stayed at your house and you told me off." Gwen chuckled through her steady tears. " I knew that I was going to make the right decision." he was walking around the table now.
"I never had a second thought. I would fight for you. Didn't matter how long. I didn't care what anybody thought." He faced her now. He took her hands in his and pulled her to stand up. "You were already the queen of my heart. People talk. Despite the wrong they proclaim, I have never loved another, never will." He brushes a tear away from her face an gazed down at her as she was looking up at him with tears in her eyes.
"You are full of love. You know the people of Camelot better than any king ever could. You are strong. You have a good heart," He smiled at the memory that was coming into his head, "don't change that, not for anyone."
Arthur gently moved her hand from his chest to his shoulder and took the other in his hand. He gently started to lead her in a waltz. The first dance they had together as husband and wife. She laid her head on his chest as the moved slowly. Any doubt that had been in her mind was gone. He believed in her. That's all that mattered. He had her and she had him.
Their intimate moment ended when a knock came to the door. She had stopped crying so there was no need to hide her face. "Yes?" Arthur said hugging Gwen tightly.
Merlin stepped into the room an smiled at his king and queen in a loving embrace. "The feast is in a hour I just wanted to make sure you had time to prepare." he put his hands behind his back and turned to leave.
"Thank you Merlin." Gwen said sweetly as he shut the door with a smile. After the door was shut she Looked up at her husband. He gently leaned down and kissed her lips, ever so lovingly and gentle.
When he pulled away the smile that was on Gwen's face was enough to make fireworks explode and run through his entire body. "May I now do the honor of escorting the beautiful Queen Guinevere of Camelot to the feast?" he bowed to her in a formal fashion. She giggled.
"It would be an honor your highness." She said returning the bow with a curtsy of her own. They both laughed turned to get ready.
Arthur wore his red cape and ceremonial shirt and fresh black trousers. Guinevere on the other hand, she had something else in mind. She had asked and old seamstress friend to help her. She knew how much the Pendragon red meant to Arthur so she had conspired to get a simple gown to show her husband. This was perfect timing to show it off for the first time. The dress was long, accenting her delicate waist and bosom while elongating her legs. Although the oval neck line draped down a bit to her chest she was still covered to the point where she felt comfortable. Most importantly the starkness of the deep red made her "eyes sparkle like the stars." Gala had told her when it was finished.
When she came out from behind the screen with her maid to face Arthur and Merlin she had to look down to hide her cheeks at the gasps. Both men stood dumb founded. "Dear God." Arthur said. Merlin smiled and he and Gwen's maid left quickly.
"I'm guessing you like it?" Gwen said approaching her husband.
"you look absolutely spectacular." he kissed her hand. "Shall me my queen?" He said offering his arm.
"We shall." and with that they started for the banquet hall.
Although to her expectation, Gwen was not completely prepared for the responses to her new dress. All the women said something and the nearly all the men commented to Arthur on the state of his wife. He smiled and looked at her with love and pride in his eyes. She was truly the pride and joy of his life.
He didn't need anyone or anything to make him feel this way, it was natural. As if he was meant to see her this way from the beginning of time.
After the banquet Arthur sent Merlin to escort Gwen to their chambers because he wanted to make are the visiting king left safely.
When he returned to their chambers, Gwen was already in her night dress. She was sitting by the fire. When she heard the door open she smiled when she saw Arthur walk in. She helped him change into night clothes without saying a word. When he was comfortable she lead him to the bed.
She went to her side and climbed in. He did the same on his side. When they were under the blankets he reached out and brought her close to him and snaked his arm around her middle.
"Thank you." she finally spoke. Emotion tightening her voice.
Arthur leaned nestling his chin into her neck. Causing her to lean deeper into him. "for?"
She looked up at him and let a tear escape her eyes. "For believing in me."
He leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to her lips. He then laid back down and pulled her to him once more. "I can't remember a day when I didn't believe in you. In us. I love you Guinevere." He kissed her head.
She was the luckiest girl in the world. She believed Arthur, I didn't matter what anyone said she had him and that's all that mattered. She snuggled deeper into him as she let sleep claim her.
More episodes to come! ~Emily