Mea Culpa
A.N. I know, I know. But I daydreamed this up in class, and the idea would not go away! I will not be abandoning the other story and am indeed still alive. I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own A Series Of Unfortunate Events either, which may share some similarities with this story. I am not saying that suicide is okay infact, if you or someone you know is thinking about this, call the numbers on this website depending on country. /resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines . This started out as more of a vent fic, than a planned story. I like it nontheless. Okay, the regression part of this fic are fiction. Mostly. No one remembers thst much, and even then, best to do it yourself.
Chapter 1: Prologue
Everything felt hopeless ever since Lily had broken off our friendship. She was the one light in my dark life, the one person who made life worth living.
I was being bullied at both school and home. It was bearable when I had Lily in my life, but now... I had barely managed to survive last summer. I sat on the couch in the Slytherin common room and got a clean sheet of parchment and began to write a note. The common room was empty because it was late at night.
Dear Lily,
Please don't burn this in the fireplace just yet. There are a few things I need to tell you even though I know that it's far too late. The first thing is something I should have told you before, but I didn't want to ruin our friendship (although it got ruined by me anyway). Okay, here it goes. I've always loved you. Always. I never wanted to see you in unhappy or in pain, which leads to the other thing. Why I wanted to be a Death Eater. The older Slytherin's kept telling me how the Dark Lord was the right side to be on, and stuff like that. That combined with The Maurader's bullying alone made the younger me want revenge. The other reason was that I thought that if I could find out The Dark Lord's plans, I could better protect you. That may seem ironic because The Dark Lord is so evil, but it made sense to me at the time. Recently though, I realized that joining the Death Eaters is not worth it at all if it can make you lose the ones that you love.
Also, remember when we were kid's and I just told you that my parents argued when you asked about my home life? Well, that wasn't even half of it. Let's just say that I didn't get those bruises from being reckless. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to burden anyone with my problems. Lily, you were the sun in my life. The one light that shone in the darkness. Now that your gone, there is nothing left. You don't want to be my friend anymore, and I understand. I leave you with my potions book, the only thing of worth that I own. Goodbye Lily.
Love,
Severus
There. That will have to do. I grabbed the package and put the note on top of it. Then I set out to go to the Gryffindor common room. I couldn't send it by owl since the recipient is at Hogwarts. I would have to put them outside the portrait hole of the Gryffindor common room. Nobody was awake this late at night, anyway. I hurried along the corridors until I found the portrait of the Fat Lady. Quickly I muttered a silencing charm, so the Fat Lady couldn't wake up anybody. I crept closer to the portrait hole, and when I was close enough, I laid the package and the note on the floor beside the hole. I looked up at the Portrait of the Fat Lady. Sure enough, she looked at me with disgust.
"Make sure Lily gets these." I quietly told her.
I didn't wait around to see how she responded. Instead, I made sure I had my wand and then walked to the Astronomy Tower, the anxiety of what I am about to do growing with every step. It was a coward's way out, but that didn't seem to matter anymore.
Once I got to the Astronomy Tower, I stood still for a few seconds. Soon my heart will stop beating. I closed my eyes for a moment picturing Lily and letting sadness wash over me. Then I walked to the edge of the window ledge. It was a good thing that unlike the rest of the castle there was no glass on the windows of the Astronomy Tower. I stood to face the inside of the tower. Slowly, I raised my wand, tip pointing towards me. I closed my eyes for the last time, breathing heavily. "I'm sorry Lily," I said in a whisper. "Avada Kedavra." Then everything went black.
The force of the spell pushed his body off the ledge and sent him falling towards the ground.