The brunette let out a heavy sigh as she pushed open the door and, dead tired, dragged herself into the apartment. After one of the longest shifts she'd ever had - 60 hours – it felt great to be home. "God, I'm glad that's over," she said out loud to the emptiness. Setting the Chinese food container on the coffee table, she slipped out of her leather jacket and tossed it over the back of the couch. Jo walked over to the kitchen area of the large loft space, removing her gun holster and badge as she did, and stretched out her neck and back muscles. Leaning on the counter, she chastised herself. You were the one who volunteered to work the holiday.
With a beer and fork in hand, Jo made her way back to the couch and, letting out another sigh, sat down heavily. Opening the food container, she shook her head at the hell the past two days had been and started to eat. Assaults, muggings and homicides, sadly, Jo had become fairly used to them. You'd think people would be kinder this time of year. How can people be so cruel to each other? It's Christmas for God's sake she thought. She knew that was stupid reasoning. When people over imbibe on Christmas 'cheer' to get into the 'spirit' of the holiday, things are bound to go wrong.
Sadly, Jo had become fairly used to the assaults, muggings and homicides, even during the holiday season, but it was the domestic disturbance calls that bothered her the most. This time of year these calls usually involved kids and the last one was the worst. A stupid argument had gotten out of hand, and now the father was on his way to jail and the mother was being transported to the hospital with severe, possibly critical, injuries. Their little girl, no more than five, had clung to the brunette, crying, while her brother – who said he was nine – tried to act brave and strong. Jo hadn't been fooled though. She'd seen the fear in his eyes and the bruises on his arms and face.
Her fork halfway to her mouth, Jo paused. The kid had obviously tried to protect his mom. Her appetite gone, Jo dropped her fork. She'd stayed with the kids until their aunt arrived and, after listening to how the woman had warned her sister about the 'Miserable SOB', Jo gave the woman her card and told her to call if she needed anything at all. Jo closed her eyes trying to push the memories away. The more experienced detectives she worked with had told her to let it go; keep her distance, or 'It'll eat you up inside', but she wasn't like them.
Jo opened her eyes. No...she wasn't like them at all. She gave it her all on the job – every day, every case. The 'job' was all she had. That's why she was home, alone, on Christmas night. Her gaze drifted to the small, barely five foot-tall, fake tree in the corner by the window. The lights and minimal decorations twinkling back at her. A small grin touched the brunette's lips. Natalie. She never understood how her Jewish friend had gotten so into Christmas. Jo shook her head remembering how she'd come home the week before to find her friend - who'd used the 'emergency' key Jo had given her – putting up the tree. "It's Christmas! Ya gotta have a tree," Nat had explained, smiling widely, in response to the cross look on Jo's face that night. Sooooo….despite Jo's protestations, the tree stayed and Natalie had, on the way out, invited the Bronx native to her place for holiday festivities.
With her beer in hand, Jo got up and walked over to the tree. She gently fingered a couple of the older ornaments, smiling softly at the memories they brought. She then turned her gaze out the window to look at the lights of the city. Truth be told, her job wasn't all Jo had. She did have family – her mom, pop, uncle and cousins- but, Rose was in Florida and the Bronx native hadn't heard from Charlie since she came out to him. The brunette took a swig of beer to wash down the pain that came with the remembrance of that day. She shook her head. It didn't matter, Charlie didn't matter. If he didn't want to be part of her life, that was fine with her.
A side-way glance at the little tree reminded Jo that she had another family as well. Mrs. G., Nat and Tootie, they were always there for her, sometimes more than her 'real' family was, especially when….Jo squeezed her eyes shut at the pain she felt in her heart. The fourth member of her 'family' was the reason for that pain. She believed – had trusted – that when the blonde haired woman, Blair Warner, had said she belonged with Jo, to Jo, that she would never leave, that they'd build a life together. Blair had lied. What was worse, she had left the brunette while Jo was in the hospital – unconscious – recovering from falling two stories after having been shot while chasing a suspect. The other women had no idea. They told Jo that Blair had been at the hospital for the first two days and then she was gone. They hadn't heard from her nor were they able to reach her since then. It wasn't until Jo was finally released from the hospital, that she found out the truth. Returning home to her apartment, she found it empty. All traces of the heiress were gone. The only thing left of Blair….was a note.
Jo, I'm sorry. I was wrong. I can't do this
Jo'd reached out to David and Monica Warner, hoping they'd have some answers. Even though Jo was sure they knew, they claimed to have no idea of their daughter's whereabouts. The brunette had taken small comfort in the sincerity of their sympathetic apologies. After a few more attempts at calling, Jo stopped trying to find Blair. She had chased after the blonde at the beginning of their relationship; she wouldn't do it again. It had all happened the end of November of last year.
There were tears threatening to fall when Jo opened her eyes. She wiped them away. It was time to 'move on' as Nat had kept telling her. She walked back to the couch, reconsidering Natalie's invitation. The redhead was adamant that a friend of hers was very interested in meeting with the detective. This wasn't the first time that Natalie had tried fixing Jo up with someone, they never worked out, but Nat was insistent that this time would be different. When Jo had showed no signs of interest, Nat had added, with a wink, that the woman was a hot, beautiful blonde. Blondes . . . my weakness, Jo had thought. Maybe that was the better reason for her to decline Nat's invitation. Taking one last look at the small tree – funny, she didn't remember leaving it on the other day – Jo tossed the remnants of her dinner in the trash, grabbed her badge and gun, and headed for her bedroom. She wasn't going to Natalie's. In the mood she was in, Jo knew she wouldn't be pleasant company and it wouldn't be right to spoil her friend's party. Natalie would be her usual understanding self, try to cheer the brunette up, but Jo just wasn't up for it. She'd make it up to her friend tomorrow later, much later, in the day. Right now, her plan was to get into bed and stay there as long as she possibly could.
Letting out a heavy sigh, Jo began working the buttons of her shirt as she walked into the room then...froze...staring at the figure on the bed.
"Don't stop on my account," the voice said softly. "The tree is perfect," was added when there was no response from the brunette. "Even better once I turned its lights on."
Stunned at first, by the woman who lounged comfortably on her bed, Jo quickly became enraged. "What the HELLare you doing here?! How the hell did you even get in?" she asked, making no attempt whatsoever to hide her anger. The other woman's hopeful tone only infuriated her more.
The level of disdain coming from Jo startled the woman, though - she had to admit - not that surprising. She started to rise from the bed. "Jo, I wanted to..."
Jo held up her hand stopping her. "Ya know what? I really don't want to hear it. I don't give two shits what ya got to say. Just get out," she said in a firm, dismissive tone, pointing towards the front door.
"Jo...please. I…" the woman tried again, taking a step towards the brunette.
"No! Don't!" Jo cut her off. "Just go!" Her tone matched her body language, which was wound tight with the fury she felt. "When I come out, I don't want to see you. I want you to be GONE!" Jo said through gritted teeth, barely restraining herself, before she turned, stepped into the bathroom to her left and slammed the door shut behind her. Jo was shaking when she sat down on the edge of the tub. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Jo dropped her head into her hands and pressed her palms to her forehead; desperately trying to push all the rage, hurt and pain out of her head. How dare she? How dare she just show up like this? Who the hell does she think she is?! Jo wanted to scream as loud as her mind was thinking. After a moment, Jo sighed and slowly lifted her head. She's Blair Warner...that's who.
The brunette stood, turned on the shower, and shook her head as she resumed taking off her clothes. Walking in on the blonde sitting on her bed, as if the past year never happened, as if Blair belonged there had really thrown Jo. She'd felt her heart race to the point where Jo thought her chest would burst and, honestly, couldn't say if it was from the anger she felt or...something else she felt. Even now, here in the shower, the brunette couldn't escape the image of the heiress, no matter how hard she tried. The aroma that was inherently Blair, lingered in her sinuses as the words, 'Jo...please' kept echoing in her head. Those words, and the way Blair spoke them, as only she could, had always been Jo's downfall. Somehow that utterance always brought Jo to her knees and she could deny the blonde nothing. The usually strong and stable detective leaned back against the shower wall for support, as she felt her knees start to buckle.
Mentally, Jo shook her head, moved under the shower and vigorously rubbed her hands over her face. No, she wasn't going to let Blair have that control anymore. Blair had left her...left in Jo's hour of need, with nothing but a note. Blair had not only broken Jo's trust, but her heart as well. They were over. Jo had made the right choice in sending the blonde away just now. She would not go back. With her decision, and resolve, re-affirmed, Jo dressed, stepped out into the bedroom, and froze once more.
"I want to talk to you," Blair said firmly but, with a hint of trepidation in her voice.
The vehemence with which Jo had dismissed her, before storming off, had surprised Blair. She'd expected the brunette to be angry at finding her in the room, Blair was prepared for that. But, what she wasn't ready for was the intensity of that anger directed at her. It took a moment for the heiress to react after Jo had gone into the bathroom. She'd begun to pace back and forth as she tried to decide whether to do what Jo had demanded and go. In the end, Blair couldn't bring herself to do it. She couldn't make herself leave because, for a brief instant when their eyes met, Blair saw the spark in those beautiful green eyes. The same eyes that had captured the blonde's heart the day she and Jo first met. No matter how fleeting it was, Blair saw the spark of love in Jo's eyes.
Blair had settled onto the edge of the bed to wait. She knew Jo's reaction was her fault; that she had made a terrible mistake a year ago. She should have never left Jo. She should have never have left the woman who had always been there for her - who always had Blair's back, no matter the reason or who it was against. Anytime, anywhere, Jo had been there. She'd been her friend, her lover, but always Blair's rock. Until...she wasn't. But, the brunette wasn't to blame, she was. What she had done was wrong and, she needed to apologize. She needed to explain. She needed…..
"I want to talk to you," Blair attempted to sound demanding, but could hear the shakiness in her own voice. The sight of a very toned Jo – dressed in only a tank top and boxer shorts, her hair still wet – had momentarily taken Blair's breath away but, with Jo being stunned at seeing her still there, the blonde was able to recover and voice her demand. She quickly realized her tone of voice was a mistake.
"You want?!" Jo asked bitingly, her tone even angrier than before. "You think I care what you want?" she demanded, taking a menacing step forward. "Get out...NOW!"
"No!" Blair answered back defiantly, as she stood up. "I need to talk and you need to listen to me," she said, matching the brunette's glare.
"I don't need to do anything," Jo fired back. "I don't have to listen to you. Not anymore. You lost that when you left."
The brunette was now no more than an arm's length away from Blair and, the blonde could see, not only the anger, but, the pain in the green eyes that were staring her down. Blair hated that she was the cause of that pain and, she had to fight the urge not to reach out to Jo. Instead, Blair took a deep breath to calm herself then tried again. "Please… Jo… I'm sorry," she said as evenly as possible, regret evident in her voice. "I know I hurt you but, please, let me explain."
"Explain?!" Jo erupted, taking a step back. "Explain what? Your note? 'I was wrong… I can't do this'? What do you want to explain? That you were wrong when you said you loved me? That you were wrong when you said we were forever?" Jo asked as she started to pace. "Or how bout...you can't be with someone from the wrong side of the tracks? You can't be with a 'barbarian'? You can't be with a cop? You can't be with a woman?" Jo ranted then, she stopped pacing and looked Blair in the eye. "Or….y-you just can't be with me?" she asked dejected.
Blair could hear a lifetime of doubt and pain at not being good enough in Jo's voice as she asked that last question, and the blonde could see the tears that had formed in the sad green eyes that held her gaze. "No...Jo. God, no. None of that is true," Blair answered earnestly, as she took a tentative step towards the brunette, and reached out to her. "You know that's not true."
Remembering the captioned photos she'd seen in the papers, the gist of which were that Blair Warner was back where, and with who, she belonged, Jo shifted out of reach. "Do I Blair?" she asked. As angry tears slowly made their way down her cheeks, she went on. "Ya couldn't wait to replace me with the 'bachelor of the month' could ya?" A hint of a disgusted, disbelieving smile touched Jo's lips at Blair's confused expression. "Didn'tcha think I'd see the pictures? It took ya less than four weeks – four weeks!" Jo emphasized. "Guess you're back to bein 'Love em and leave em Warner' like in school, huh? Did ya give them all the same line ya gave me?" she asked angrily.
"Jo…please…that's not…" Blair lightly implored, as she reached out again, only to have the brunette move away once more.
"Tell me, Blair…" Jo asked as she turned to face the blonde. "How many have there been? How many since you left me? Did they all believe it when you told them they were special? That they were the only one for you?" she threw at the heiress, not even attempting to hide the sarcasm in her voice. Jo knew she was being petty, but she didn't care. She wanted to hurt Blair – to make the blonde feel as much pain as much as she did.
"You take that back, Jo! You take that back right now, DAMN IT!" Blair demanded. She understood her ex was hurt, and that she was the cause, but she wasn't going to take the brunette's verbal assault anymore. The accusations, and the cruelty with which they were said, cut her deeply. With tears in her eyes, Blair became defensive and fought back the only way she knew how. "What about you, Jo?" she fired at the brunette. "You're going to tell me that there's been no one else? No one else at all? And, if I meant sooo much to you.." Blair asked, sarcasm in her tone, as she spread her hands wide before placing them on her hips. "why didn't you come after me? Why didn't you fight for me?"
"Come after you?!" Jo exploded again. "Are you crazy? I had a hard enough time walking, I could barely take care of myself, and you think I should'a come running after you?" Jo asked incredulously, as her tears were flowing freely now.
Blair watched Jo turn away; saw the brunette's shoulders sag, and was about to say something when the brunette turned back.
"I can't believe how stupid I was…I actually thought my girlfriend would be here to take care of me…to help me," Jo said shaking her head as she went on. "I chased after you once, Blair and after you…." she stopped and took a breath. "I swore I'd never chase after you, or go through that, ever again," Jo dropped her gaze, and her voice. "So…to answer your other question, yea I've had my share of opportunities. I've had dates," She looked back up at the blonde, deep pain and sadness filling the green eyes that met brown. "But, there's never been anyone else, not like..." Jo stopped herself, stared at the blonde a long moment, then let out a sigh. "Ya know, it just doesn't matter anymore. Just – just go home, Blair," she said in a tired tone, pointing towards the door as she turned her back to the debutante.
The softly spoken words hit Blair harder than when Jo had punched her back at Eastland. The blonde almost wished that Jo had screamed at her instead, because she could tell, by the brunette's tone and demeanor, that Jo was done with her. Blair had made the horrible mistake of questioning Jo's love for her, when she herself was the one who had left their relationship. Jo was loyal to a fault. It had taken her almost a year to get over Eddie Brennan back in school, and Blair knew she meant much more to the Bronx native than Eddie ever had. She also knew that Jo had tried to find her. Blair's heart was breaking – her world crashing down around her as tears ran down her cheeks. She had to fix this. She couldn't lose Jo; not like this.
"J-Jo," Blair's voice caught in her throat. She closed her eyes, swallowed, and tried again. "Jo, I-I don't want to go. Please. I made a mistake," Blair took a breath and a small hesitant step towards the brunette. "Please, give me a chance to explain?"
Although it took everything she had, Jo didn't answer or turn around. She'd let Blair say her piece then show her the door once more.
The lack of response from Jo led Blair to believe that the brunette was, at least, willing to listen. As she wiped away her tears, Blair took a deep breath to calm herself and organize her thoughts. She hoped the soft even voice she used would hide her fear. "The pictures? The guys in them? They meant nothing," The blonde saw the slight twitch of Jo's body and was sure the brunette was thinking. 'Yea, right' "It's true," she stressed. "It was all PR. The dates, the pictures, they were all social obligations, duties of the family," Blair let out a slight tutting sound. "I guess you were partially right, it did seem like I was back in school again." she said sadly.
Jo winced when Blair used the school reference taunt.
"It's actually kind of sad, isn't it?" Blair asked, shaking her head. "I thought I was past all that. That I'd matured after you and I…." she paused, took a breath, then continued. "But, I let myself get pulled back into it, into the game," Blair focused her gaze on the brunette's back. "Not one of those guys meant a thing to me," she said slowly, stressing each word. "And, they knew from the start that they could never have my heart..." she said as she took another small pause, "...because my heart was already taken. It - it didn't..." Blair stammered slightly, before she let out a small sigh, looked down and nervously wrung her hands. "It didn't belong to me anymore," she softly added. The blonde let the words hang in the air for a moment. "I swear, Jo. There's no one else. There's never been anyone else. Only you. I-I love you, Jo."
Jo had closed her eyes when Blair had begun to speak. She'd heard the sincerity, the emotion, in the blonde's voice, and she wanted to believe her. Jo wanted nothing more than for things to be the way they had been. For the two of them, to be the way they were. But, the pain in her heart and the voice in her head weren't ready to give in. "You said your heart was taken," Jo replied quietly as she opened her eyes. Tears again made their way down her cheeks. "Well, mine was ripped from my chest," she said, her words mottled with her attempt to keep from crying. Jo took a weighted breath. "You say you love me, Blair," Jo said heavily as she turned to face the blonde. "But….you left me. How was that loving me? How am I supposed to just forget that?"
Blair stared at her former lover. She didn't know what to say. She was rendered speechless by the raw emotion in Jo's voice. She wanted to go to her, wrap her arms around Jo, and beg for forgiveness while reaffirming her love for the brunette, but, she stayed where she was. The look she saw in the deep green eyes staring back at her, told Blair she needed to still keep her distance.
Breaking eye contact, Jo shook her head. "You tell me those guys meant nothing," she started again. "Great, they didn't," Jo said dismissively, waving her hand in the air, an edginess to her tone. "But, you still haven't told me why. Why did you leave me? You left like a coward. Everyone claimed that I would be the one to run, but… I didn't. You did!" she stated angrily, as she pointed a finger at the blonde who was once again rendered speechless.
After a moment under Jo's intense gaze, Blair turned her head away in shame. Jo was absolutely right. When they'd finally gotten together; those closest to them had first teased, then questioned whether the brunette could 'stick it out' with Blair. Jo had sworn that she could, no matter what. Jo said she would always stand by the blonde – and she had. It was Blair's own loyalty that had failed. Deep brown eyes drifted up to the shelf where Jo had her diploma from the Police Academy on display. The blonde walked over, picked up the framed document, and smiled softly as she traced her fingers over the brunette's name. It was time for the truth. Jo deserved to know.
"I was so proud of you when you graduated - top of your class even," Blair said proudly, not looking at her friend. "I know we didn't agree on you going to the academy," she said in response to the skeptical look she knew she was getting from Jo. "But, I really was proud of you," said the blonde sincerely, as she carefully placed the frame back on the shelf. Blair sighed before she went on, still not looking at Jo. "I didn't want you to be a police officer because, I was afraid. I was afraid something would happen to you but, I also knew how much being a cop meant to you," she said with a small understanding smile on her face. Then, her smile faded. "Do you remember what you told me when I finally agreed?" Blair asked her, a mix of anger and disillusionment in her voice. "You promised me you'd be careful – that you'd be safe – that you'd always come home to me, and you did, every night….until you didn't."
Jo had to strain to hear the last three words, they were said so softly, but, there was no mistaking the pain in Blair's voice. Jo remembered the strong argument they'd had when she'd told Blair she wanted to be a cop and, in the end, how the blonde had acquiesced. Jo also remembered making that promise, how she had reassured the heiress that...'With you to come home to? Of course I'll be careful. I promise.' For over five years, the brunette had kept her word. Jo's anger faded slightly as the memory of that day filled her mind.
Blair slowly turned to face Jo. "You broke your promise, Jo" she said quietly, trying to maintain her composure as tears ran down her cheeks. "Wh-when I-I got the call...when they t-told me….I was sure..." she stammered. "I-I don't even remember how I got to the hospital," her voice was shaky. Trying to calm herself, Blair took a breath before she went on. "By the time I arrived, you were already in the operating room," She looked Jo in the eye then, making sure the brunette was listening. "Did you know you almost died? Not only out on the street, but during the surgery as well?" Blair asked in an accusatory tone. "You almost died!"
Jo wanted to be offended by the blonde's tone, but the intense pain she saw in deep brown eyes brought about an ache in her chest that pushed all of her remaining anger aside. Jo swallowed hard and gave the slightest nod of her head. Her mom had told her about her 'near misses' when she'd finally woken up.
"Those five hours I spent waiting to hear something – anything – from the doctors were the longest, loneliest hours of my life," lamented Blair. "Yes, your mom, Mrs. Garrett, and the girls were there with me," Blair continued before Jo could respond. "But, I wanted you. I needed you. I needed you to hold me and tell me everything would be okay."
Jo heard the desperation in Blair's voice and it made her heart hurt even more.
"But...you weren't there and I – I hated you for that," Blair said with bitterness in her tone.
"Blair, I..." Jo started as she reached for the blonde, but now it was Blair who stepped away, putting a small distance between them.
"Afterwards, when they let me into the ICU," Blair went on as if Jo hadn't spoken. "You were just lying there – not moving," her voice began to rise. "You wouldn't open your eyes, you wouldn't smile at me – talk to me – yell at me! I held your hand – it was so damn cold – I begged you to squeeze my hand, to let me know you knew I was there, but nothing! Not one damn thing!" Blair sputtered out, barely containing the sob that had arisen. She took a step towards Jo. "Those damned machines you were hooked up to kept beeping, but I didn't believe them. I thought – I thought you left me! I – I thought you were...that you were..." Blair's tone, at first angry and harsh, lost its venom as she lost her composure. She covered her face with her hands as she started full on sobbing.
Her own tears now falling again, Jo moved to embrace the blonde. "Blair…" she whispered softly. The sensation of having the blonde in her arms again felt wonderful but, she'd barely begun to hug the heiress when Blair rebuffed her.
"No! No!" Blair said firmly. Even though she'd missed the security of Jo's arms around her, she pushed the brunette away, shaking her head. She worked at calming down before she went on. "You don't understand! I thought you were dead. They all told me you weren't, but I wouldn't believe them," Blair said embarrassed. "It took a lot, but your mom and Mrs. Garrett finally convinced me that you were alive."
"I'm sorry you believed that," Jo said caringly. "But if you knew I was okay? Then why..?" she asked, the hurt still evident in her voice.
"It was because I thought you were dead that I left," Blair explained, in a distraught tone. At the confused look on Jo's face, Blair went on. "You have no idea what seeing you in that hospital room did to me. You were hooked up to those machines; your body bruised, battered and bandaged, I've never been so scared or felt so much pain. Before Rose and Mrs. Garrett convinced me, I – I actually lost it for awhile," Blair said with a deep sadness in her voice before closing her eyes as the memory washed over her. When she opened her eyes, and saw concern in the green eyes that stared back at her, a sense of comfort filled her. That comfort was short-lived, however, knowing what she had to say next. Blair only hoped that Jo would understand. "I decided I never, ever wanted to go through that again, and the only way to keep that from happening – was to leave. I had to put you out of my life, I had to walk away," she said as gently as she could. The anguished look on the brunette's face had Blair taking a step forward. "But, what I've found, what I've realized this past year, is that what I told those guys was absolutely true. My heart was taken...by you," Blair's voice was soft but, filled with sincerity as she took another step forward. "You, Joanna Marie Polniaczek, are everything I've ever wanted, everything I could ever ask or hope for, in my life. That you are my other half, my heart, my soul, my love and leaving you was the greatest mistake of my life," The two stood now only an arm's length apart. "I can only pray and hope that you'll forgive me because, without you in my life – I have no life," she offered with a hopeful, sad smile paired and a slight shrug.
At a loss for words, Jo simply stared at the blonde. She knew Blair meant every word she'd said; her tone was sincere and the pain was evident in her eyes. Jo knew that the shooting and its aftermath had been traumatic for Blair, her mom, had filled her in when the heiress had left; leaving nothing but the note behind. 'Be patient sweetheart. Blair will come around' Rose had counseled Jo back then. Blair never did. Jo knew about Blair's fear that, something might happen to the brunette while on duty. It was one of the biggest arguments the blonde had about Jo being a cop, but Jo also believed that her girlfriend would always be there for her. She just figured that it would be the way it'd always been – the way they had always been – having each other's backs, being there for each other, no matter what. As she looked at the beautiful heiress, who'd captured her heart the day they met, Jo just didn't know if she could ever trust Blair that same way again.
Blair watched as varying emotions played over Jo's face. She could tell the brunette was struggling, and started to become afraid. One of the biggest things the two of them shared was the ability to read each other, and, right now, Blair was sure she was losing Jo again.
"Blair," Jo said heavily. "I don't think..."
"Please Jo, don't," Blair cut her off, and slowly reached up to place her hand against the brunette's cheek. Her heart fluttered at the way Jo closed her eyes to the touch, rather than pull away as Blair feared she would. "I – I know you think you can't trust me, but you can. I love you Jo. Please, believe in me?" she asked softly.
Jo opened her eyes, reached up to cover Blair's hand with her own, then slowly brought it down. She shook her head her eyes had become misty again. "I love you too Blair, but I just don't…"
"Shhh..." Blair said, squeezing Jo's hand. She then moved the brunette's hand to her chest and placed it over her heart. "Do you feel that Jo?" she asked staring into deep green eyes. "Do you feel how fast, how hard, my heart is beating? No one else has ever made it beat like that. Only you do that to me," Blair squeezed her hand again. "You've always been willing to give people a second chance. Please, Jo, give me another chance?"
The sincerity of the plea, and the longing in Blair's eyes, touched Jo deeply. It caused the last of the brunette's resistance to fade away as a warm sensation of love washed over her. Her heart opened, because she knew, in that moment, that Blair would never leave her again. Jo smiled softly as she let go of the blonde's hand and wrapped her arms around Blair's waist and pulled her closer. "Okay," she whispered quietly.
"Okay?" Blair questioned, not sure she heard right, despite the love that she saw radiating from the green eyes that looked deeply into her own. The small nod and loving smirk she received as an answer pushed all her doubts away. "Oh, Jo," Blair's voice was filled with relief as tears slid down her cheeks. With Jo's arms around her waist, Blair snaked her arms up around the brunette's neck, and sought out her lips with her own. When Blair broke from the passionate breath-robbing kiss, she pulled back slightly. "Are you sure Jo? I mean, do you really mean it?" she asked, while her brown eyes searched green ones for any hint of uncertainty.
"Ya changin' your mind already, blondie?" Jo teased, with a slight scowl on her face. Then her expression softened. "Shhhh..." Jo whispered reassuringly, as she put a finger to Blair's lips when the blonde started to protest. "Yes, I'm sure, Blair," she nodded slowly as she answered the blonde. "I've never been more sure." she added, smiling. The radiant smile she received, followed by another passionate kiss, filled Jo's heart with joy. The next thing she knew, the kiss was broken and Blair had her in a tight hug and was squealing with delight in Jo's ear. She winced slightly, but then, caught up in the blonde's enthusiasm and feeling the weight lifted from her own soul, Jo lifted Blair up and spun her around the room
While Blair laughed in delight, she begged the brunette to put her down, but that didn't happen until Jo bumped into the bed. They both fell onto the bed, with Jo landing on top of Blair. Both laid there laughing, until Jo eventually eased herself up onto her elbow. With a small, lazy smile on her face, Jo gazed down at the blonde heiress who started out as the bane of Jo's existence only to become the most important person in her life. She'd often wondered how two people, who were so completely opposite, could ever have become, not only friends, but also lovers. As she stared into Blair's warm brown eyes, with green and gold flecks, and felt the way her heart beat in response, Jo understood. It explained why Jo had felt so lost for the past year, why she couldn't move on, and why she now felt whole again.
Blair's giggles faded as she watched the change of emotions pass over Jo's face and in her beautiful green eyes. The warmth and tenderness, she thought she'd never see again, was back and it caused the blonde's heart to skip a beat. She couldn't help but reach up and place her palm against the brunette's cheek and shuddered slightly as Jo leaned into her touch. Tears of happiness, tinged with lingering regret for the time they'd lost, filled Blair's eyes. "Jo…I'm sorry for what I…" she started, but was stopped by the brunette.
"Don't, Blair," Jo said softly, covering the blonde's hand with her own. "As long as I believe you won't leave me…."
"I won't, Jo. I swear it. I…" Blair cut in, but was stopped just as quickly, when Jo squeezed her hand, brought it between them and placed it against her heart.
"And I do," Jo said reassuringly, as she looked directly into Blair's eyes. "It's in the past. It's over," the brunette continued. "The only thing I care about, the only thing that matters, is that you're here – with me," Jo said sincerely, before she leaned down and placed her lips against the blonde's lips in a slow, soft kiss that she hoped convinced the heiress how much she loved her. The kiss soon turned passionate as both women wanted to show the love they felt for each other.
During the kiss, Jo slipped her hand under Blair's shirt, and slowly slid it up the blonde's side to her left breast. A firm, but gentle squeeze to the fleshy mound, caused the blonde to break the kiss, let out an audible gasp, and arch her back. "Welcome home, princess," Jo whispered huskily against an exposed neck, sending shivers through Blair, before she began to ravish the beautiful blonde.
Later that evening, covers were pulled up to keep two naked forms warm. Clothes had long ago been stripped away and tossed haphazardly on the floor. Jo lay on her back, her green eyes fixed on the ceiling, with an arm curled protectively around Blair's shoulder. With her mind elsewhere, Jo ran her fingers casually through the luscious mane of the blonde, while the steady breathing of the woman next to her provided a familiar comfort.
Blair, snuggled into Jo's side, rested her head close enough to hear the brunette's heartbeat. Though she had an arm and leg draped possessively over Jo, Blair could still feel the space that seemed to have developed between them. She'd experienced this before with the Bronx native when they were together. Jo had explained she sometimes got lost in thought; it was her way of sorting things out and processing them in her head. Blair understood, but what bothered her, was that Jo usually only 'got lost' when she had to make a major decision in her life.
"Where are you, Jo?" Blair asked, worried that the brunette was thinking about them and whether she'd made a mistake letting the heiress back into her life.
It took a few seconds for the brunette to be roused from her thoughts and recognize the hint of insecurity in Blair's voice. Stunned, Jo shook her head, amazed that, after how they'd spent the last few hours, the blonde had any doubt how she felt about the heiress. She tipped her head down and placed a gentle kiss on the top of the blonde's head. "I'm here, Princess. I'm not going anywhere," she said in a hushed reassurance, as she gave Blair a small squeeze and then felt her relax and snuggle even closer.
Blair smiled in relief as she shifted a bit, but, she was still curious. "Ok, but what were you thinking about then? I know something had you distracted."
Jo had to smile to herself at how well the blonde knew her and decided to tease her just a bit. "Wellll…," she muttered slowly and a bit sleepily, as she stretched languidly. "I was thinking whether I'll have enough time tomorrow - after you leave, of course - to change the sheets before my date shows up."
Blair, who'd been lightly trailing her fingers over the brunette's toned stomach, froze. She couldn't believe what she'd heard. What?! There's not supposed to be anyone else. Blair's mind began racing.
Jo noted the change in Blair's body, but couldn't resist ribbing her just a little more. "Yea…Nat's set me up with some hot chick again," she said non-plussed. "I wasn't going to give in, but Nat just wouldn't drop it. You know how she is."
I- I thought - we're back together – aren't we? Blair's mind continued to rattle on, and she barely heard Jo.
"Besides," Jo added as she stole a glance at Blair. "the woman is apparently some well-to-do, blonde knockout from Manhattan. So, I caved. I was supposed to meet her at Nat's place tonight, but, well ..."she said with a grin.
There's not supposed to be anyone else. She said…. The blonde's mental rant was interrupted when Jo's words registered. Blonde knockout from Manhattan? Natalie's place? Blair questioned. Despite her confusion, she noticed Jo's body vibrating beneath her. Blair pushed herself up to look at the brunette and saw Jo had her notorious shit-eating grin on her face.
"Gotcha," Jo said grinning, waggling her eyebrows, before she broke into laughter.
Blair's dumbfounded expression quickly changed to one of anger, her eyes narrowed and she swatted Jo's abdomen. "Ohh...you! You are sooo going to pay for that grease monkey," she vowed, then proceeded to tickle the brunette.
Caught off guard when Blair slapped her stomach - surprisingly hard - Jo winced and wasn't prepared for the 'tickle-attack' by the blonde. It took a moment for her to recover, but when she did, Jo quickly gained the upper hand and easily flipped them over, so that Blair ended up beneath her. The brunette pinned the blonde's hands to the bed on either side of her head, and used her body to hold the wriggling heiress in place.
Blair struggled for a moment or two more, before she gave up. She had found herself becoming aroused again by the feel of Jo's body pressed against hers and the fact she couldn't escape the brunette's hold. Even so, Blair tried hard to keep up her affronted attitude. "Don't look so smug, Jo," she chastised her. "How or when did you figure it out?" Blair asked as she stared up into dark green eyes.
Amused by the petulant look on her girlfriend's face and, since Blair had given up struggling, Jo relaxed her grip. Using one hand, she carefully brushed away the hair that had fallen over Blair's face during their 'battle'. Blair looked so damn sexy with her hair all disheveled, that Jo had to take a steadying breath before she spoke. "I figured it out a while ago," she said softly. "I remembered that I'd changed the locks some months ago, and the only person with a spare key – was Nat," Jo said with her eyes locked on deep brown orbs. "She tells me about a 'hot blonde' that wants to meet me," she went on, while she continued to gently caress Blair's face. "and then...I come home to find you in my locked apartment?" she asked with a raised brow.
"So...you put two and two together?" Blair asked, trying to sound snarky, after shifting her body slightly.
Jo had to grin at the blonde. Though Blair tried to sound superior, the brunette didn't miss the slight moan that accompanied the question. Jo had felt Blair shift her body so that Jo's own leg nestled between the blonde's. "Yep, and I got four," she said in a low voice, pressing her leg down. "I am a detective ya know," Jo added in a deep husky voice and was rewarded with, not only another small moan from the blonde, but deep brown eyes fluttering closed with passion.
Although she found Blair sexy as hell at the moment, there was something; that for her own piece of mind, Jo needed Blair to know. She eased her weight up off the beautiful woman and waited for the blonde to open her eyes and look at her. "I love you, Blair Warner. You are everything to me. I took a big chance when I chased after you back then, and it was the best move I ever made, but then you left me. I'm giving you the second chance you asked for Blair, but…" Jo paused and took a deep breath. "there won't be a third chance. I can't – I won't go through that again."
The resolve Blair heard in Jo's tone and the pain she saw in the green eyes that stared into her own, nearly broke the blonde's heart. Blair hated that she had ever hurt the brunette. She also knew Jo was serious. This was her one and only shot with the woman she loved more than anything. Blair made a vow to herself, then and there, that she would do everything she could, not to see that look in Jo's eyes again. She reached up and gently placed her hand against Jo's cheek. "I swear honey, you will never – ever – have to give me another chance. I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you. I love you Jo Polniaczek, for now and forever."
Tears filled Jo's eyes and her heart filled with love at the heartfelt vow Blair had made. Slowly, she leaned down, lowering her body on to Blair again. "I'm gonna hold you to that Princess." she whispered softly, a loving smile on her face, and placed a tender kiss on the blonde's lips.
When they parted, Blair too had a loving smile on her face. "You do that, Grease Monkey."
Jo rolled off of Blair and on to her back, and the blonde immediately turned into the brunette's side. Jo wrapped her arm around Blair's shoulder and both women let out contented sighs.
Once again...they were home.