Sirius, you were always my favorite cousin, you know that right?
You were always just like me. Unlike Cissy with her pale blonde hair and blue eyes, Andy with her bronze hair and caramel colored eyes, and Reggie with his soft features, we both had the same messy black hair, the same pale completion. Hell we even had the same piercing grey eyes. We had the classic Black looks.
We even enjoyed the same things! While Andy was off talking to mother, Regalus was playing with his toy broom, and Cissy was staring at her reflection in the mirror, we were off ruining Mother and Auntie's tea parties and breaking everything in sight, using illegal magic of course!
But that all stopped when you got sorted into Gryffindor. You started hanging out with those boys. Potter and Pettigrew were barely acceptable by my standards seeing as they were purebloods. That Lupin boy however was a different story. Why would you dirty our family name by associating with half-bloods?
It was then that everything changed between us. That our friendship got messed up. But I never hated you. Not really. Not even when you got burnt off the family tree like that traitor Andromeda.
And today, when you provoked me into cursing you….
I didn't mean to kill you, Sirius. It was supposed to be just be a threat so you could stop annoying me.
You weren't supposed to die!
If it weren't for that bloody veil, you'd still be alive and taunting me about how I was unable to kill you. You'd say the that the curse I shot at you didn't hurt, with your cocky smile.
I waited for you, taunting you by chanting loudly I killed Sirius Black. I killed Sirius Black, because I know you hate to be taunted almost as much as I do. But you didn't come out.
I ran away. I ran so I wouldn't have to face the truth that I killed you.
And now, as the Dark Lord is punishing us for failing our task, I can't help but to rejoice in the pain. It helps numb the guilt that's eating me alive.
I didn't mean to kill you Sirius. I promise. And for that,
I'm Sorry.