I looked into the sky.

Failure upon failure, tragedy upon tragedy.

It was hopeless.

I sighed, and glanced out into the pale sky. The sun was blaring distantly, casting a glow onto the grass and barn door.

Cassie stood there, her shadow behind her.

"Jake," She said. "Are you okay?"

"Fine Cassie," I said, not in the mood to talk.

"Okay, but you seem stressed," Cassie argued.

"I am fine."

She shook her head. "I'm going for a small walk in the woods. Wanna come?"

I could go with Cassie. That would be nice. No, no I couldn't.

"No thanks. You go on ahead."

Cassie smiled and left, walked across the sunlight littered grass.

I just stared back at the wall.

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You should have gone with Cassie. It would have been fine," Rachel said. Then added with a grin, "We wouldn't get into any trouble."

I didn't answer that. I didn't want to.

"It's not that big a deal," I sighed.

Rachel laughed. "War is gettin' to ya', huh?"

I tried to smile, but I just couldn't. "No. I'm just a little depressed."

"We all are."

I looked back to the wall again. I couldn't stand it. Everything was wrong. Missions, all failures. Everything was wrong.

Everything…

I put my head in my hands and stared to the ground. An ant bravely marched over my shoe, and walked over to the sunlight spilled barn floor.

Rachel's voice echoed in my mind. We all are.

War does that. You come in your old self, all normal. Come out, you'll never be the same again. Your dreams will never fully be dreams, your nightmares will be realities, and you'll act differently. Never fully coped, always sad and depressed.

At least, that's me.

Some things you just can't help, you know? Like change. It comes here and you can't stop it no matter what.

I don't like change anymore. My life changed rapidly, my body changed every time I focus on animal DNA, your world perspective changes too.

I guess that happened to me.

I have changed. Everyone says that.

I'm not a little boy I once was. The sweet, but strong, innocent teenager.

But a grown man, a killer.

I guess I could think of myself like that. A killer. A murderer.

But in war, it isn't murder, is it? You kill some many…

Ka-POW!

The shot scared me.

I jumped a foot in the air. I think everyone else did too.

I ran outside, and saw someone in the distance.

I couldn't make it out, the sun…then I noticed the person swaying.

It was…

It was…

It was Cassie.

"Cassie!" I screamed, dashing down the field.

I skidded to a halt and looked down.

Cassie lay there on her side, blood spilled all over the grass beneath her.

"Cassie, wake up!" I shook her. She didn't move.

"Cassie!"

Nothing. No response.

"CAAAASSSSIIIIEEE!"

Dead.

"No!" I cried as Marco, Tobias, Rachel and Ax ran down.

"Oh, oh, oh…" Rachel dropped to her knees. "NO!!!"

I felt tears form. A lump in my throat rose. I swallowed hard.

I looked at her, so young and innocent. No. No. No.

Rachel began to cry. That scared me. Rachel never cries.

Marco rested his hand on my arm as I began to cry.

I don't cry very often.

But I was crying now.

I couldn't look at her. I could do anything but rest my head into my hands and sob.

She didn't even have a chance to morph. Dead, like that.

I glanced up. Everyone was leaving.

"C'mon," Marco said softly.

I shook my head. He understood.

I looked around. I was alone.

God, if you hear me, why? Why do things happen so abruptly? Just like that? I thought. It did happen so suddenly. Boom, she'd dead.

God, please take care of Cassie in heaven. Make sure she's an angel. Goodbye Cassie.

I leaned over and I kissed her. I pulled away.

"I love you," I said as I got up and walked back across the field.

I'll never fully understand why things happen. They just do.

Like Cassie dying so suddenly. I…I didn't get to say goodbye.

I never said goodbye. And now, I'll never see her smiling face again.

You never know how good things are till they're gone. In this case, you never know how good people are till they're gone.

Never hear her laughter again, never see her. Rap her in my arms, tell her I love her.

Never again.

It was the funeral.

I didn't think I'd come. Nor did I ever think I'd say goodbye to a friend. A friend I love.

Now I was going to.

To say goodbye now. This was my goodbye.

Goodbye. I thought. Goodbye.

I was sitting there. I was uncomfortable will the man said things about Cassie, going on and on. He never even knew Cassie.

I swallowed hard, trying not to burst out in tears.

She was placed in the hearse, and we drove to the graveyard.

The graveyard. I looked at everyone. I didn't see the person who killed Cassie. Probably couldn't bring himself.

Cassie had been shot in the woods, by that guy, so naturally he wasn't at the funeral or when we were burying Cassie.

He would come later probably, and say goodbye.

I had met him the other day. He felt so bad about it. I was mad at first, but accidents happen.

Whether we like them or not.

Cassie was in the grave, down, down, down.

I bit my lip, trying not to cry to hard.

On her grave, was a picture of Cassie.

I couldn't bring myself to read it. I just couldn't.

Everyone was crying, her family, the other Animorphs, me.

Everyone.

After everyone began to walk away, I took out a flower I had.

I set it down next to the grave.

"Goodbye Cassie. I love you," I said.

And I you Jake. And I you.