Our Envious Blue Sins
It was a cloudless sunny spring day in Athens. The Mediterranean Sea was shining like a polished turquoise as the waves lazily caressed the shores. Walking far away of the shadows of the scented olive trees, a battered tall guy slowly approached the seashore. The salty breeze played with his long sweated silky blue mane as he hurriedly sat down on the golden sand. Without noticing, hot tears went down his bruised cheeks as a steamy little cascade. After all, he didn't succeed so he must accept defeat.
With despair, he watched upwards and gave a terrifying yell so the gods up the Mount Olympus could listen to him. In fact, they seemed deaf to his prayers and sacrifices. He shook his fist at them. But nothing could change their decision and the wretched guy was doomed now.
While the olive trees gracefully danced on the fields around Cape Sounion, the scenes of what happened early this morning haunted him. He recalled the beginning of the deadly battle, the sorrow in his rival's blue sapphire eyes and how much he tried to avoid their confrontation. But the masked tall man who forced them to fight was imperturbable, so composed that he looked like one of the old painted marble statues which occupied the corners and temples of the Sanctuary area. Although his lustful eyes were concealed, he was able to feel his heated stare on them, like a toothless decrepit predator that is forced to wait in order to feed on his victims' tasty tender slices.
At the beginning, he hoped to win because he knew all his rival's attacks and weaknesses. So he used his best tricks to defeat him. He burned his cosmo to hit him with all his might. But something in that pair of challenging bright blue sapphire eyes told him that he wouldn't be surrendered so he prepared himself to fight until the end. At the end, those eyes stared at him with indescribable contempt when he was panting and bleeding on the floor. So his twin won the Gemini Gold Cloth and he was cast away by the masked old Pope. Finally, Saga was acknowledged as the new Saint by the fellow warriors, soldiers and crowd, flattered by the Sanctuary leader and showered with the blessings of Athena. The cheered new handsome acquisition for the outstanding elite group of knights devoted to the virgin goddess.
Clenching his fists, Kanon shouted again as warmer tears flooded the sand. It was not fair that he was deprived of everything and expelled from the Sanctuary. Meanwhile, his twin brother got all the praise, love and devotion that he would never have. Being condemned to lurk in the shadows, he had lost his life, too. So he would be forced to become another human being far away and the twins would never meet again. Not in this life.
Yes, he was the doomed one. In fact, he looked like the most miserable doomed creature in earth, bleeding, barefoot and having rags to scarcely cover his most private parts. He was forced to bury his dreams of grandeur and his most secret desires.
I don't feel envious of you, Saga, because I'm a better warrior and leader! You didn't deserve to win this stupid battle!
Taking into account that envy is an emotion that is felt by whom lacks another's qualities or virtues, doesn't possess them or wishes that the other lacked them, Kanon was convinced that he wasn't envious of Saga. The younger twin was sure that he was far better so he acted accordingly with pride and arrogance, too. But, all in all, he couldn't hate his twin because the rules of the Sanctuary weren't made by him. Both of them had feared of this day and dreamed of a better future for them. It would have been the best solution to have both the Gemini Gold Cloth and be recognized as the legitimate owners of the third temple.
I don't have envy, hatred, jealousy, anger… My only regret, Saga, is that our goddess is so unfair!
Because he was the younger one, Kanon was forced to live in the shadows, not being publicly acknowledged as the second trainee for the Gemini Cloth. Saga was well-known by the warriors and people, the Pope's most beloved and spoiled guy.
Since his early years, Saga was considered a wonder-boy, a beautiful charming demigod and it didn't change through time. He developed his cosmo which granted him an extraordinary power. Besides, his demure attitude and chivalric behaviour made him the very best of the warriors. Gentle and kind with the most vulnerable people, warm-hearted with his comrades, committed with Athena, the Pope and the Sanctuary rules, fierce and unmerciful with the evildoers, Saga was considered an embodiment of gentlemanliness and the human symbol of a Saint's virtues.
But… what? I am a shadow? Something to be thrown in the dumping yard? NO!
Kanon was sure of being the best of the twins, the smartest cunning and most charming of the two. But it seemed Saga was blessed by the Olympian Gods in a special way. Wherever he went, Saga was considered the best. In fact, he was admired, loved and praised by the people. Although being so young, Saga had the reputation of being an honorable man, wise and generous. So there wasn't place for Kanon neither in the the Gemini temple nor he Sanctuary.
With those bitter thoughts, he left that cozy spot and walked towards the shore. Trying to heal those painful wounds of his body and soul, he softly got into the warm Mediterranean waters.
Meanwhile, the new Gemini Gold Saint was enjoying a well-deserved warm bath in his temple. Sitting in the polished marble pool, Saga sighed as the hot water stream went down his statue-like body, caressing his strong muscles and hardening his nipples. It came down stroking and fondling him as an eager and skilled lover. Although he was the winner, he wasn't happy at all. Neither the Pope's acknowledgements, the flattering comments about him, the admiration of the younger soon-to-be Saints nor the devotion of the people could make him feel better now.
There was no happiness in condemning Kanon to a terrible fate. But he had no choice.
Yes, I have no choice at all. I'm not free to be myself because I'm supposed to be the best and perfect Saint!
Closing his eyes as the water softly came down, he realized that he was living up to the Pope's and the people's expectations. In fact, he wasn't free to say and act, he must fulfill his role no matter his feelings, ambitions or needs.
On one hand, remembering his twin's carefree and fun-seeking attitude, Saga realized how much he despised him. On the other hand, he envied Kanon's freedom. In fact, he was not free to do as he wished because he must be a perfect Saint, an embodiment of gentlemanliness and the human symbol of chivalric virtues. For that reason, he was now the Gemini Gold Saint and a demigod to the people. But deep inside, there were desires and wishes that lurked in the darkest corner of his soul. Thoughts and ideas he'd never admit… the ones which belonged to another being, an ambitious cruel creature who wanted to have power over the whole world that he swore to protect. He was terrified of those thoughts, indeed.
I'm not going to be that envious and ambitious guy! I'll be the one I'm expected to be!
Again, Saga felt a pang of envy. He wished he could be like Kanon… sometimes. But he had made a choice: to be the best Gold Saint and the next Pope. He didn't deserve less because he was almost a god. When he would have become the Pope, he would call Kanon and rule together this Sanctuary and the world, too.
No! I must obey the Pope and be a humble Saint. The most devoted one!
He shook his head to get rid of those evil thoughts but they hid again, ready to come back in time.
All in all, isn't envy a deadly sin for humans? But not for gods!