No matter how many times she washed her hands she couldn't get rid of it. She couldn't rid of the blood that stained her otherwise flawless skin. She would stand there with her hands running under the scholding waters of the sink as if she was trying to punish herself. She paniced as the blood didn't wash off.

The sounds of screaming woke her that night, the sreaming of the Dr as she ended her life. A dream, damn these dreams no scratch that they weren't dreams they were nightmares. Nightmares that were taking over her once peacful rest. Nightmares that prevented her from sleepy soundly in her lovers arms. She tried to slow her breathing down as her eyes adjusted to her room, their room. Slowly she climbed from their bed, careful not to wake her sleeping husband. Poor thing looked as tired as she felt. Taking one last look at her husband's sleeping form she smiled and walked out of their room.

The clock on the wall above his desk in the office declared it was almost 2 am. She sighed and sat down at his desk. Time, time was a funny thing. When they were happy and in love on hour seemed like a second. Then when she was held at the hands of a madman well techinaclly woman one second seemed like an hour. The entire house was still empty except for the two of them, but she was to afraid to stray to far away right now. She grabbed a book off the desk and the trembling of her own hands betrayed her causing her to drop the book and knock a picture on the desk over.

The shattering noise of the glass as it broke sent chills down her spine. She stood there momentairly frozen in place. She didn't know what to say or how to react. This was knew to her and yet at the same time very familiar. She remembered these reactions from years ago after she had taken a bullet to the heart. Back then the smiplest of things, shutting of a car door, a barking dog, her phone ringing and waking her from her sleep would all send her into panic mode.

Beckett looked down at the broken glass, she was determined she would not let herself go through that again. Carefully, she knelt to the ground as she started gathering the broken glass in her hands. It wasn't until she had removed the fourth piece of glass when the rugged edge sliced in the tip of her finger. Beckett had barley noticed the little prick from the glass, it wasn't until she felt the blood traling down from the tip of her finger into the palm of her hand that she actually became aware of the accident.

Like a deer trapped in the headlights of an on coming car she froze. This time she broke. She dropped the glass and moved away from the pile on the floor. This time the noises she made was enough to wake her sleeping husband in the the next room.

Castle jumped out of bed when he heard the sounded of what appeared to be glass, but was it? Beckett, he reached out for her but she was not there. Her side of the bed was empty and cold. He turned his head to the direction of the bathroom, no light, he jumped out of bed and headed out to find the source of the noise and his wife. He didn't have to go far to find her this time, but when he found her the sight before him was damn near more then he could take.

There was a shattered frame on the floor, and Beckett was sitting against the far wall the one that led out in the living room. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around her knees, and her head laying ontop of her arms. He could tell by the rise and fall of her shoulders that she was crying. He moved closer to her, kneeling before her he rested his hand on her shoulder so she would know he was there.

"Kate" He said very calmly as not to startle his wife. She didn't respond she just lifted her head to look at him. Castle reached out and used his thumb to wipe the tears away. "What happened?"

"I couldn't sleep. I came in here to get a book and knocked the frame over, and blood...I... its on my hands all over them Castle." She said.

Castle reached out and took both her hands in his, and sure enough her hand was stained with blood. It took him a few seconds to process this, to catch up to where her thoughts were, and when he did it hit him hard. "Baby, its not your fault." He replied.

"There was so much bloood Castle. It was on me, on the floor, I can still smell it and I can't wash it off no matter how hard I try."

"Get up." Castle ordred her as he helped her to her feet. Once she was standing he took her by the hand and led her to their bathroom. He swithced on the light by the door and stood behind Kate so that she had no choice but to look in the mirror.

"Look." Castle said to Kate.

Kate shook her head no and tried to turn away. Castle lifted her chin until her eyes met her own reflection. "Do you know what I see? I see my entire life when I look in your eyes, I see a hero, a fighter, a woman who saved her own life, because Kate if you didn't babe I don't know what we would have found when we came for you. Would we have made it in time? I don't know. I see so many things when I look at you and none of them are a killer. Don't do this. Don't let her win." Castle said.

"What if she already did?"

"She didn't you are here, I am here, and nothing else matters. We have been through so much Kate too much some might say now is not the time for giving up." He reminded her.

Kate smiled for the first time since she had been back home. She turned away from her own reflection and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I don't know what I would do without you." She said as she burried her face into his chest.

"You will never have to find out. It's you and me against the world Kate forever."

"You promise?" She asked.

"Always." He responded.