Author's note: Wee! My first slash fanfic! . . . Well, sorta. I think I'm starting to get addicted to first person. At least I can write it. =P Read and Review, all!
Author's second note: And if you don't like slash, then don't read it. =P
Why Her? Why did you choose her over me? What does she
have that I don't? I thought you cared, so why did you leave all of us
like that?
We need you, they don't, she doesn't! They can live without
you, they don't need you to help them through the day! *I* do! I need you
more than anything, but you don't care, do you? You left me behind for
some stupid girl! ME!
. . . Don't you know that I need you? Can't you see past
that lie of a mask I wear over myself? Why can't you tell that I'm in love
with you and she is only now thinking you of a suitor? She'll leave the
second she gets a better offer, don't you know that?
You care for me, for the others, don't you? Don't you?
Why did you leave us all alone?! We're just kids! You're the one that put
meat on the table, the one that worked so hard after school to make sure
we had a place to come home to every month. We're too young to get a job
without parental signatures, and you know how you were the only one that
could forge Mystique's. Now what are we supposed to do?
Todd's been scared lately. He won't admit it, but I can
tell in the way he's always on edge, the way he cries himself to sleep.
He felt a lot safer when you were around, but now he's worried that everyone
will leave him for the X-Jerks. Tabby and Fred are even afraid! Dumbass,
you're running away from the people that need you the most and would never
betray you, even though you betrayed them!
If you don't come back soon, we're not going to make it.
They're going to impound the house and then we'll be on the streets, or
worse, in foster homes. Do you want us to start that painful cycle all
over again? What if we get sent to a house that hates mutants and they
find out and have us killed? Would you even care? Would you even give a
shit about us and put flowers over our graves? . . . If we asked for help,
would you save us? Or would you let us die on the burning crucifixes of
the Friends of Humanity?
You would, wouldn't you? You don't care anymore! All you
want is that stupid 'kitten' you're always ranting about! Telling me how
beautiful she is, how pure! How can you not realize from my winces that
I love you so much? C'mon, you already know I'm gay, put two and two together!
Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why can't you see what was right
in front of your face? I always went to you if I had a problem, so you
could tell me how to solve it! I always went to you if I had a nightmare,
so you could tell me I was safe! You used to stroke my hair when I was
terrified, you used to whisper that you'd never leave me in my ear. . .
You lied! You're no better than my father, no better than
Mystique! You left us just like they did, in the ashes of our shattered
lives! I don't know what to believe anymore! I thought you cared, that
we would get through all this like a 'family' should! The second I started
to believe my life was looking up again, it all fell apart.
Don't you realize you're killing us?! We need you here,
not there! I need you so much, none of the others really care for me. You
were the one that held us together, like glue! We're ripping at the seams,
Lance, so what are you going to do? Flirt with Kitty some more? Hang out
with Daniels? Go cruising with Summers?
God, I HATE YOU! Ihateyou,Ihateyou,IHATEYOU! You left
us, you bastard, and we've no protection anymore! I saw a Friends of Humanity
supporter the other day, he was giving us all strange looks. . . I think
he knows what we are. God, I don't know what to do, the others didn't even
notice! And if I tell them, they'll freak out completely! For all we know,
we could be attacked tonight, right now, and we could all die!
But of course, you don't care. You might've at one time,
in some remote way but now you've left us to die. And we're going to die
without you, we're going to die. Why won't you come back?! We need you!
That's why we confronted you during school, why we were
so angry! You know that we need you! Can't you see past the mask I'm wearing
now? Isn't it obvious I'm hurting inside? You always saw past it before,
so why can't you see through it now?! What's made you so blind to what
I need, what I've always wanted since we've ever met?! Can't you see past
the teasing, past the cool exterior? Why can't you see that I'm dying without
you by my side, telling me it'll all work out and that I should look to
the future? There's no future for us anymore, you took it away!
You have no right to leave us! You're not allowed to!
We need you, God, *I* need you, but you're not here anymore! I'm crying
into your pillow everynight, scared, terrified of what the next day will
bring. Will I die tomorrow? Will you tell me that I'm a worthless fag-boy?
Will you just tell me to kill myself?
I would kill myself if you told me that. . . But I'd do
it in your room in the mansion. I would find a knife and slit my wrist,
watching the blood run out of me on your bed. I'd curl up under your sheets
and die there. I would make sure that you knew that you killed me, that
I listened to you and it's your fault. I'd get back at you, make you go
insane like you did me. I'm insane for you Lance, I'd do anything if it
would make you happy. . .
Anything but let Kitty have you! She doesn't care about
you half as much as I do, don't you see that?? Don't you see that I'm the
better choice, because I'll NEVER leave you for another?? Why are you so
fucking blind?!
. . . Why can you just come back home and hold me while
telling me everything's going to be okay? I just want you back; I miss
you so much. . . Sometimes you were the only reason I got up in the morning
and sometimes you were even the only reason I was still alive every night
when I went to bed. You got me through the times I felt like no one cared,
but now you're gone and I'm alone. Please, come back, I need you! Lance,
don't leave me like this, not for some stupid girl! Please. . . I'm the
one that truly needs you, truly wants you, truly loves you with all my
heart. I'd do anything to make you love me, anything to be your one. Why
can't you see that?
Please, Lance, please come back soon. . . I'm not sure
how much longer I can live without you.
I love you, Lance, more than you'll ever know, because
I didn't tell you when I had the chance.
~Fin~
Author's endnote: Finally I got a short fanfic done for XE! My other
one, Impossibilities, I'm still working on, and it's pretty much taking
forever.. u.u;; Stupid writer's block. Hopefully I'll get over that soon,
which would be rather nice. . . I have evil stuff to do to Pietro and Lance
in the next chapter~! XD Mwhahahahaha! Anyways, please R&R!