There are so many things in the world to hate, and I hate many of them. I hate overbearing adults who want to run my life, and I hate people who stare at me. I hate idiots who think they know best, but don't really know anything. I hate burnt food, and the taste of blood. I hate heat, cold, and fall leaves(the greens ones are just so much better). I hate tomatoes, beans, and milk. I hate more things than I'll ever like, but that's okay with me.
There's one thing I can't hate, and that's you. Yes, you, the overbearing, pompous jerk who thinks he knows best, and tries to run my life. See, you fit into a lot of the requirements for hate, but somehow I don't hate you. Kinda freaky weird in its way?
I did hate you-or I thought I hated you, at least. Every time you started your pompous speeches of how better you were and how you had me under your thumb it made me MAD. I'd tense all over, and I just wanted to hit you and call you a whole lot of names that I'd only just begun to learn the meanings to. Every time you smirked in your superior way I blew up, and every thing in me screamed you were a no good, spark happy, lover boy, and a horrible alchemist.
I know why that was, and why it still is the case. It didn't mean I hated you. I'd had someone over me who was supposed to take care of everything in the past, and he'd just screwed that all up terminally. He killed my mother in his absence, and hurt me a lot more than I ever really wanted to admit. It was embarrassing to have someone I had trusted so much just walk away and leave me hanging on to tattered threads of my childish trust. I taught myself then and there I couldn't trust people like you with anything, least of all my trust.
Somehow, despite my defenses and stern mental lectures, I trusted you. I had to trust you with my brother, who is the person I love most of anyone and anything. After trusting Alphonse's life to you, other things followed. Smaller thing, to be sure, but the trust grew. One day I realized with a shock(horror and revulsion, really) I TRUSTED YOU! I trusted you with almost everything. I was shocked. How had that happened? I couldn't trust you at all, with anything, much less all the things you now had.
I'm still horrified about all the things I trust to you. You could be my ruin, if you chose to be that, and I couldn't stop you anymore than I could stop a grass fire without alchemy. I'm a little boy clutching a wooden, leaky bucket in front of a raging fire that will consume everything on its path. Any you know what? That scares me. It really scares me, and that makes me think I hate you more.
As I said, I don't really hate you. I'm a rational person, and I can analyze what I feel and decide what it is. I don't hate you for having so much control over me(it's my fault you do), and I don't hate you for being the jerk you are. I resent you for making me trust you as much as I do. You certainly had something to do with that, and I know you enjoyed doing it(whatever exactly it was).
That's the crux of this. I don't hate you. I resent you. It's a hard, deep resentment I'm never going to get over, so don't hold your breath. I'll never appreciate what you've done for me, because that's way too much to ask of me, okay? I'm a kid(I admit it),and I won't feel gratitude to someone like you. It's not possible, so that's another thing for you not to expect from me. You should be happy I don't hate you, which I should in all honesty, and settle for that. I'll always resent you, but I'll always trust you too. That's really all that matters, isn't it?
From: Edward Elric, Hagane no Renkinjutsushi