THE BEST LINE LEILA HAS EVER WRITTEN
A man sat down at the Ravenclaw table. "Hello," he said. "My name is Reeves. Keanu Reeves." He whipped a pair of sunglasses out of his pocket and put them on. A big booming voice came out of nowhere.
"HELL WANTS HIM," it said. "HEAVEN WON'T TAKE HIM. EARTH NEEDS HIM,"
"AND I LOVE HIM!" screamed a girl from the Ravenclaw table. Her name was Paige. She didn't realize she had screamed this out loud right in front of Keanu Reeves, so she felt very embarrassed. She and Draco were going to have to form a Stupid People's Club. Keanu Reeves suddenly jumped up and walked over to Paige.
"I love people who love me!" he exclaimed, then bent down on one knee. "Will you marry me?"
"Oh, YES!" Paige said, and jumped up and hugged him. They drove off into the sunset, and lived happily ever after.