I think I would describe this fic as slightly off-centre, not quite a crackfic, not A/U, just something that I thought could possibly happen if Gilligan fell into the mud bath, and just intended to be tongue-in-cheek.
Rated M for the implication it contains and dedicated to the usual suspects.
FL x
Glorious Mud
Mary Ann wallowed in glorious mud. From her first hesitant foray into the gloopy grey substance she had grown to enjoy the occasional mud bath and to realise that it wasn't just stuff that got you into trouble for bringing into the house. The right mud had wonderful, soothing qualities and made the skin fabulously silky and soft. And this was most definitely the right mud. Like a lot of things on this island they were marooned on, this mud made Mary Ann feel good about herself. She even suspected that she took more mud baths than Ginger- after all, as Ginger herself was fond of pointing out, it was hard to improve on perfection.
But Mary Ann didn't consider herself to be in any way perfect, so whenever she felt like a bit of pampering and solitude, she came out here to the mud bath, stripped off and got in, giggling as the thick gloop welcomed her like a silky lover, its gooey hands inching up her thighs as she lowered herself in, cupping her buttocks then sliding up her torso, caressing her breasts and sucking her down into its cool, seductively gungey embrace where she could happily sit for a whole hour, thinking mostly about nothing.
She remembered the time Gilligan had had to pull both her and Ginger out of the mud the time he'd gotten them all worked up about headhunters. How surprisingly naïve he'd been to think that because he could only see their heads above the mud, they must have been attacked by those savage native intruders. Even though they were clearly still talking to him! And how Ginger had giggled afterwards at his face as he pulled them out one by one.
When he realised we were naked, she laughed.
The poor man looked positively terrified, Mary Ann had agreed.
At first he did, Ginger nodded, but then he looked a little disappointed that we were so covered in mud that he couldn't really see anything. And then of course, he got all flustered and had to look away.
He was being a gentleman, Mary Ann said, chiding her friend gently. I just didn't think, did you? He got us so worried about headhunters all I wanted to do was get out. Even I forgot I was naked!
I'll bet Gilligan hasn't forgotten, Ginger winked. I wonder if he'll start casually walking past that mud bath now and again, just in case he gets lucky again one day?
Mary Ann sat in the mud now, wondering the same thing.
She didn't have to wonder very long. Or had she fallen asleep? The sun was so warm and yet the mud was so cool, and she always found that she drifted off, sometimes for minutes but once for a whole half hour, her head propped against a rock upon which she had placed a rolled up towel for a pillow. It was just like being in a bed with a big, heavy blanket on it.
She heard rustling through the trees and opened her eyes sharply. The noise was too regular to be a monkey. Someone was coming. She wiggled right down into the mud so that just her head and neck was visible. That was the other good thing about mud, you couldn't see through it.
That flash of red, so conspicuous against all the greenery, and then Gilligan was on the path, heading straight for her.
"There you are!" he grinned, standing above her on the path, grinning in triumph. "I've been looking all over for you!"
"What for?" she asked, narrowing her eyes against a ray of sunshine that filtered down through overhanging palm fronds.
"The Professor's doing this experiment and he needs all of us," Gilligan said.
"Ugh," Mary Ann grumbled. "Another one of his 'many hands make light work' schemes?"
"Oh, I don't think he's making a light," Gilligan said. "I think it's just something to do with the water pump."
"Well, I guess we do need water," Mary Ann sighed. "All right, Gilligan. I guess you'd better help me out again."
Gilligan leaned forward with an obliging smile, his hand already stretched out.
"Grab hold, Mary Ann."
Mary Ann inched forward slowly. She'd settled so far down in the mud that it didn't want to let go of her. "I can't quite reach," she muttered, trying to free herself from its clutches.
"Okay, I'll just come a little closer," replied Gilligan, his foot now right on the edge of the path where it was muddy. He leaned down and reached out further, wiggling his fingers, just inches between his hand and hers.
"Just a little further," Mary Ann whispered, as the mud pulled her back.
Gilligan wore a frown of equal concentration. Just as he thought his fingers were going to reach hers, his foot slipped and he realised he was going to fall. Panicked, he scrabbled in mid air with his other hand for something to hold onto but there was nothing. With a startled yelp, Gilligan fell face first and fully clothed into the mud bath, landing right on top of Mary Ann, who let out a squeal as he plummeted towards her.
Gilligan landed with a muffled splodge with both hands sinking right down into the mud on either side of Mary Ann and his face ending up right in her breasts.
"Mmmmmmph," he mumbled.
"Gilligan!" Mary Ann exclaimed, shocked, horrified and secretly thrilled beyond words. Here was the man she'd always had a thing for, sprawled on top of her as she sat naked in the mud bath. And the mud didn't want to let either of them go!
He tried lifting himself up but the mud pulled him right back down. His hat fell off and his hair went in her mouth as he struggled. He was right on top of her, and under the mud she could feel him being pressed against her, against his will, all the way down.
"Help, Mary Ann," he mumbled, grimacing. "I can't move!"
"How do you expect me to help? I can't move either!"
"This mud is so icky!" he protested. "How can you stand it?"
She looked up into his mud spattered face and his blue-green eyes, just centimeters away from hers. "Oh, it has its benefits," she smiled.
He pulled a face. "That's not funny, Mary Ann." He squirmed again, and under the mud she felt his hips against hers. His lips twitched, he looked a little pained. She wondered what he was thinking. She knew what she was thinking, and if he knew what she was thinking he'd be out of that mud quicker than if he was wearing a jetpack.
He began struggling again, but his struggles only caused more suction. Mary Ann sank back against the edge of the mud pool and Gilligan's weight settled onto her, pressing her down. His face was now squashed right up in the crook of her neck and shoulder, and every time he muttered something she felt his lips on her skin as if he were kissing her. She sighed and let her head fall against the bank.
I'm naked and he's on top of me, she thought happily to herself. What on Earth must he be thinking right now? Did he even realise the position they were in?
She soon found out.
"I just thought of a new project for the Professor," he murmured into her neck. "A giant crane to haul us both out with!"
Mary Ann sighed. Trust Gilligan not to have a clue, even trapped in a mud pool with a naked woman. "Well, he'd better hurry up," she agreed, "because otherwise we'll be stuck here forever!"
Gilligan heaved his shoulders up with all the strength he could muster. He tried pulling his right arm up out of the mud, which slurped and squelched around them. "How can you stand this stuff, Mary Ann? Really?"
"It makes my skin all soft and smooth," Mary Ann said, squeezing her eyes shut as he moved on top of her, rubbing her breasts and her thighs and other places where he really shouldn't be rubbing but was completely unaware of.
"I just want to get out of it," Gilligan grumbled.
Finally his hand pulled out of the mud, which sighed reluctantly as it let go of his limb. He shook mud everywhere like a cat who gets its paw wet. Mud splattered all over Mary Ann's face.
"Gilligan!" she turned her face away so it wouldn't go in her eyes.
"Sorry, Mary Ann," he apologised. "I'm just trying to get us out before anyone else comes along and sees us."
He put his hand on the bank beside Mary Ann's head and pushed, attempting to elevate himself away from her. The mud between their bodies pulled hard, angry now. It wasn't going to give them up without a struggle. He scrabbled under the mud for purchase with his feet. His hips pressed down between her thighs and she moaned gently, completely unaware that she'd made a noise until she saw Gilligan staring at her.
"Did I just hurt you?" he asked, wide eyed.
"No, why?"
"You just made a noise, like I hurt you."
"I didn't!" Mary Ann protested.
"You did, you went 'uuuuh'."
Mary Ann was mortified. "I did not go 'uuuh'!" she said.
"No, not 'uuuh'," Gilligan went on. "'Uuuuh'."
Mary Ann went bright red. "Well, don't worry Gilligan, you didn't hurt me."
"Good," Gilligan said, relieved. "'Cause I'm just trying to get us out of here, so I'm gonna need to struggle some."
Struggle away, she thought to herself, resolving to bite on her lip if anything like that happened again.
Gilligan pushed one-handed against the bank. After a few moments he toppled sideways and his face became pressed into the other side of her neck, his muddy cheek slipping across hers.
"It's getting a lot harder," he said, completely innocently.
"Try not struggling so much," Mary Ann suggested. "I think it's the struggling that's causing the suction."
But Gilligan wasn't listening. He pulled and pulled and squirmed and wriggled and grunted and groaned and muttered childish curses like 'darn it' and 'for gosh sakes' and all the while the mud kept pulling him down, like a second pair of hands in the mud with them, pulling him down on top of her, making his chest rub back and forth over her slippery, mud covered nipples, pushing his hips against hers, the buttons on his jeans rubbing her in places she was very glad he didn't know about, with the mud helping to soften the delicious friction. Meanwhile, her bottom lip was going to be as swollen as a grape by the time she'd stopped biting on it...
With a monumental effort, Gilligan finally managed to extricate his other arm from the slurping, sucking mud. He sighed gratefully with his arm in the air, waggling his fingers as mud fell off in soft, squishy clumps. He placed both hands on the bank either side of Mary Ann's head and looked down at her upturned face.
"Why are you smiling?" he asked.
"Oh- just thinking how nice it will be when we're finally out of this mud," she replied, blinking slowly like a cat.
"You sure do look happy about it," he said, studying her curiously.
"That's because you're doing such a wonderful job, Gilligan," she said, enigmatically.
"I may need to struggle some more," he warned her.
"I'll be brave," she replied.
He pushed against the bank with both hands, lifting his chest away from hers. The mud oozed into the gap between them and covered her breasts before he could see them. Not that he was really looking, all his efforts were going into getting himself out of that mud. He grunted with exertion, pushing against the bottom of the mud pool with his feet. As he pushed up and forwards, Mary Ann felt her legs open wide and she sank down into the mud, unable to stop herself. She clutched at his neck, dragging herself up before she went right under.
"Gilligan!"
He stopped abruptly, realising what was happening. He was horrified to think that his struggling might have pushed her head under the mud. He stopped struggling immediately.
"Go slowly," Mary Ann told him. "Every time you pull, the mud pulls back."
"I think you're right," he agreed. "I can't fight this stuff."
"We need to go with it," she said, her awareness heightened by his pelvis wedged against hers with her legs splayed wide. Anyone walking past now would see her knees up around his waist and his hands on the bank either side of her head and wonder what the blazes was going on.
"Go with it, yeah," he repeated. He was starting to look a little flushed himself- what she could see of him under all that mud.
'Going with it' meant moving gently, bit by bit. Which meant that soon Gilligan was rocking gently back and forth on top of her, hoping to inch himself out of the mud slowly and gradually, almost as though lulling the mud into releasing him.
After a few minutes of this new approach, Gilligan looked down at her and smiled. "I think it's working," he murmured, a little breathlessly.
"So do I," Mary Ann agreed, for completely different reasons.
"I think I'm getting there."
"I think you are, too."
Gilligan carried on rocking back and forth. Slowly, gradually, the mud released him from its clutches and he began pulling himself up the bank over Mary Ann's head, but not before she had experienced the most wonderful sensations she had ever felt in her life, coursing through her like warm fireworks right down to the tips of her fingers and toes.
"Gilligan..." she murmured, watching spots dance behind her closed lids.
"Huh?" he replied, already half way up the bank, dragging his thigh between her legs one last time and almost landing his muddy hips right in her face before he was up and out at last. He struggled awkwardly to his feet on the bank, whooping and yelling in triumph, mud streaming off him in thick gooey rivers. "I did it, Mary Ann, I did it!"
Mary Ann sank down in the mud up to her shoulders, a wide, secret smile across her face, her eyes now wide open and blinking in amazement. "You certainly did, Gilligan. You certainly did."
She listened to him babbling on about looking like the Creature From The Black Lagoon while her lip throbbed from being bitten and all the other parts of her throbbed from being inadvertently manhandled.
If Ginger only knew how much fun these mud baths really were, she thought naughtily. But this was one muddy secret she was never going to tell anyone.
Mary Ann turned and let Gilligan help her out of the mud properly this time. And she smiled at his gentlemanly behaviour as he turned away so he wouldn't see her emerging naked form.
Little does he know...
He waited patiently for her while she got her towel and wrapped it around herself, then gathered up her clothes. The two of them walked back to camp, giggling, both still covered in mud.
"What's everyone going to think when they see me?" Gilligan asked. "What's my excuse for being all muddy?"
Mary Ann laughed. "We can always say that you fell in first, and I was the one who tried to help you out."
Gilligan smiled wryly. "I'd say that was a dumb idea, but they'd most likely believe you."
It's better than what really happened, Mary Ann thought. She worked hard to keep the silly grin off her face and ignore her throbbing lip as they approached camp.
Gilligan swallowed when they saw the five faces that gaped at them as they sheepishly dripped their trails of mud into the clearing. "Mary Ann," he muttered, as Mrs. Howell peered at them both through her lorgnette, "maybe you should have put your clothes on first..."
End