This is a little something that's been nagging at the back of my mind for some time now and here it is. I always wondered how Spectre felt when he discovered his "father" wasn't really who he said he was. I hope this isn't hard to read since some parts are more like flashbacks.
Anyway, neither Knuckles or the Brotherhood of Guardians belongs to me. Enjoy.
"Talk about a grudge match," Locke mused as he watched the battle on the surveillance monitors before him. Knuckles and Moritori Rex were engaged in brutal combat, neither side giving or taking any quarter.
"Knuckles will win this one. He defeated Moritori before," Sabre said. He was behind Locke, watching the battle on the screen. Thunderhawk, Sojourner, Athair, and Spectre stood behind them, also watching the battle.
Spectre's eyes narrowed as he watched the screen, his focus on Moritori. His blood boiled at the very thought of the treacherous echidna. Decades ago Moritori engaged in combat with Spectre's father, Tobor, and arranged the scenario so that he would end up being taken home by Hawking, Tobor's father, so he could impersonate Tobor and conquer his enemies from within. And it worked. For decades Moritori managed to maintain his stolen identity, slowly learning the Guardian's secrets, preparing for the time when he and the Dark Legion could strike and defeat their lifelong foes. It wasn't until Knuckles stumbled upon Haven and revealed Moritori's scheme that the Guardians even knew what was going on.
Spectre closed his eyes, silently chuckling to himself in a sad, if not slightly abashing manner. No one could believe that Moritori's ruse had worked so well for so long, that all the Guardian's had fallen prey to his brilliant scheme. The whole scenario was a humbling one for the Brotherhood and they vowed to never allow it to happen again.
And I will see that Moritori pays for everything he has done.
It was a solemn vow Spectre made when the truth was revealed, intensified by centuries of anguish and misery.
"The coward, he's running away!" Sojourner said disdainfully.
Spectre's eyes snapped open in time to see Moritori slip through Knuckles grasp and escape into a portal. Again, he had escaped again! Rage welled up within the dark echidna. It was bad enough he didn't have the chance to extract his full revenge upon Moritori when he and Locke reclaimed Haven after the Legionnaire's takeover, but the fact that Knuckles, or anyone, had failed time and again to catch Moritori was getting to be more than Spectre could bear.
"He's a hard one to catch, isn't he?" Athair said, a scowl on his face.
"Very much so," Thunderhawk grumbled.
With a cry of primal rage, Spectre turned and fired a potent energy blast at the wall behind him. The rest of the Brotherhood turned, all startled by Spectre's sudden outburst. They stared at their dark leader, who was now trembling in rage. The display of temper didn't bother them so much, they were all accustomed to it, but the manner in which it had just been displayed was a cause for concern. Never before had Spectre unleashed his anger in so furious a manner.
"Father," Thunderhawk said. He tried to conceal the nervous edge in his voice but Spectre caught it. Spectre closed his eyes in chagrin, thankful he had his back to his sons. He never liked displaying such temperament in front of his child and grandchildren.
"Father?" Thunderhawk said again, his nervousness now giving way to fear. It wasn't like his father to behave in such a manner. It would have seemed normal if Spectre ranted and raved, that was always expected, but angry silence was not.
"Grandfather Spectre," Sabre said gently. Spectre could hear him approach, not doubt ready to offer words of comfort. Not now, he'd have none of that now. He turned and left the room quickly, not daring to look at anyone as he passed.
"Grandfather!" Sabre called out again. Sabre moved to chase after him but Athair stepped in the way.
"Let him be for now," Athair said sadly. Sabre frowned, feeling that leaving Spectre alone might not be the best course of action this time around. Athair smiled, as if he knew what his son was thinking and addressed Sabre again, "Please, for his sake."
Sabre nodded and returned to discuss the current situation with Locke and the others. They would discuss and fail miserably at attempting understand what induced this fit of temper, not understanding what it was that was truly eating away at their eldest member. Athair turned to look at the door Spectre left through, his heart breaking. His gift of perspective gave him far better insight into such matters than did anyone else and he knew exactly what was bothering Spectre. His time with the Ancient Walkers allowed Athair to learn and know more about not only the world, but his own family as well, including the darkest of secrets. He knew exactly what was on Spectre's mind.
Spectre hurried down the corridor to his private quarters. He preferred to keep himself distant from everyone else. He enjoyed his privacy, the seclusion allowing him to meditate and relax himself if necessary. It also allowed him the peace of releasing his own demons, his own bottled feelings that he kept so well hidden from his family.
He stopped suddenly and leaned against the wall. His mind reeled. Seeing Moritori always brought back memories, painful memories, that he believed he had buried away permanently. Memories of his childhood. Memories of his early years as a Guardian. Memories of Janelle-Li. Memories that brought nothing but anger and pain. Memories he longed to keep hidden in the furthest recesses of his mind.
Young Spectre looked on in apprehension as his grandparents, Hawking and Sonja-Ra, tended to his wounded father. His mother, Voni-Ca, finally picked Spectre up and forcefully removed him from the room since her verbal requests to leave failed to elicit a response from her young child.
"What's wrong with Daddy?" Spectre cried, his eyes overflowing once again with tears. Young as he was, he could see and understand that his father was badly injured and knew that his beloved parent could be lost to him.
"Daddy's going to be just fine," Voni-Ca said as firmly as she could. Her voice cracked with emotion as she struggled not to cry herself. She had to be strong, for her son, for her husband. "You're Grandfather is taking good care of him."
"I want to see Daddy!" Spectre said. He struggled in his mother's arms. His only thoughts were to go back into his father's room and help heal his father.
"No, Spectre, you must stay here!"
Spectre only wailed louder. "I want to be with Daddy!"
"I know you do sweetheart, but Daddy needs his rest right now." Voni-Ca wrapped her arms tightly around her struggling child, holding him in a massive hug. "You can see him after Grandfather Hawking takes care of him."
Spectre struggled a few more minutes, not caring about his mother's words and Voni-Ca continued to hold him. Eventually he gave up his struggle and wept in his mother's arms. She cooed softly, rocking him gently as he cried. It was a good hour later when Hawking finally emerged from the room, looking worn and depressed. Voni-Ca immediately feared the worst.
"Is he?" she asked, afraid to hear the answer.
"He's alive child. He'll survive, though his injuries are severe." Hawking sat down in a nearby recliner, tears welling up in his own eyes. "His eyes are badly damaged, and he has several broken bones, a fair amount of internal bleeding, and he's suffered a concussion. He's alive though. My dear son is alive, and that's what matters most."
"How long will he be like this?" Voni-Ca asked.
"It's going to take a few months for his bones to heal, and it's hard to say how badly his brain has been damaged. If we're lucky he won't be too badly impaired."
Voni-Ca lowered her head and nodded sadly. Hawking rose from his seat and approached her. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her gently, taking care not to crush Spectre between them.
"Why don't you go in and see him," Hawking said gently. "I'll take care of Spectre."
He lifted his grandchild from Voni-Ca's arms and walked with him to the recliner while she went to Tobor's room. Spectre watched his mother disappear before focusing his attention on his grandfather who was holding him in his lap.
"Daddy is going to be just fine," Hawking assured him. He caressed Spectre's cheek, smiling sadly at him. Spectre could feel his grandfather's emotions coming off him in waves. He could feel the sorrow, the pain, and even the anger.
"Why did they do this?" Spectre asked. He knew about the Dark Legion. Not much, but he had heard some stories and all he knew was that they were evil and was warned repeatedly by his mother to stay clear of anyone with technological enhancements.
"They're our enemies son," Hawking said, his resolve hardening slightly at the thought of them. "They will do whatever it takes to get what they want and they won't hesitate to kill us if we get in their way."
"But why?" Spectre asked. He couldn't understand why anyone would want to kill him, his family, or anyone else, not at his tender age.
"I really can't give you a good answer to that question my child," Hawking replied. "All I can think to tell you is that it's just the way they are. That's why we exist, to keep them from harming the innocent."
"I'll teach them a lesson," Spectre said, feeling empowered by his childish bravado. "I'll grow up to be big and strong and then they won't hurt anyone."
Hawking chuckled. "I have no doubt of that. You're going to be a great Guardian when you grow up."
"Really?" Spectre said, his eyes brightening, encouraged by his grandfather's praise.
"Yes, really."
I wonder what you think of me now Grandfather.
As time passed, he and Hawking grew distant from one another, just as both grew distant from Tobor. The echidna they believed to be Tobor. If only they knew then what they knew now. Spectre shook his head, it was too late for regrets. What was done was done. He resumed his walk down the halls towards his room. He was so full life and energy then, and so eager to begin his Guardian training. So eager to make his father proud.
Spectre touched the ground with ease, his landing perfect. It had taken him a while to get used to landing without hurting his legs and the young Guardian was proud of his new accomplishment.
"Excellent work son," Hawking complimented, his heart full of joy. Spectre beamed and looked towards his father, who stood off to the side, for approval. Tobor didn't respond right away and it was only when both men were looking at him did he seem to display emotion.
"Yes, good job my son," Tobor said. Spectre smiled weakly, wanting to ignore the tone in Tobor's voice. He was hoping to hear pride but what he heard was more like indifference.
Ever since the battle with the Dark Legion five years earlier, Tobor had changed. He wasn't the warm caring man everyone knew and loved. He lost his memory, due to the head injuries Hawking said, and it took a lot of reminiscing about the family and the Guardian history before Tobor displayed any hint of recognition. Even once his memory was restored, he had no interest in bonding with his wife or son. Spectre wanted desperately to play with his father only to be shooed away. Sometimes he could obtain a positive response from his relative, other time he felt like he wasn't wanted at all.
As soon as Tobor was able, he had thrown himself into his work, He remembered Hawking admonishing Tobor one night, warning him that he was sacrificing his own family for duties that others could just as easily handle. Tobor responded viciously, insisting that what he did was his own business. The strain wore on everyone. Voni-Ca cried almost constantly. Hawking was at his wits end. As for Spectre, he didn't know what to do. His father was a stranger to him now. He barely took part in his training; Hawking was the one who taught most of what he knew.
He tried many times to talk to his father but their discussions always ended the same. Tobor acted warm at times, but Spectre could always feel the disdain underneath his father's words. Spectre did everything in his power to try and please his father, anything for a kind word, and he received nothing but a cold shoulder and false praise.
"Father," Spectre said one cold night. He was alone with his father, everyone else having gone off to bed. "What have I done wrong?" Tobor looked up at him. With the visor on, it was hard to read his face. "Why can't I make you happy?"
"Oh Spectre," Tobor replied. His voice was distant, as it always was. "I'm sorry son, I was lost in my thoughts."
"Father," Spectre said, almost pleading. "I want you to be proud of me."
"Oh, I am son," Tobor said, flashing him a smile. Spectre knew better. He could feel the lie as it rolled from his tongue.
"Then why won't you train me? Why won't you spend time with me?"
"You know I have better things to do Spectre," came Tobor's reply. Spectre winced. Better things to do than be with his own flesh and blood? "I grow tired of this conversation Spectre. Hawking will teach you everything you need to know. I can not. You know my memory isn't what it used to be. Besides, it's time for you to be on your own."
"But I'm only ten!"
"And what difference does that make?" Tobor replied harshly. Spectre bowed his head, feeling tears well up in his eyes. "If you wish to be as strong a Guardian as you claim to want to be, than you need to start acting like one and the first step is to be self sufficient. Learn to do what is needed without my help or anyone's guiding hand."
"Yes Father." Spectre's voice was barely a whisper.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do." Tobor walked past Spectre and stopped just next to him. He looked down at the young male, almost sneering and Spectre cringed. "If you truly wish to be strong boy, then stop crying. Tears are for the weak."
Spectre stiffened and fought back his tears. "Yes Father."
With a final sneer, Tobor turned and left the room. No doubt he was to disappear to Mobius Prime again. He never stayed on the island for very long. Spectre remained where he was, fighting the urge to cry. The sneer and harsh words were like a knife through his heart but he wanted his father's approval more than anything. Angrily he wiped the tears from his eyes. He won't allow himself to weak. He won't cry.
Spectre sighed as he closed the doors to his chambers. Very rarely had he ever shed a tear from that point on. So hard pressed as he was to be strong, he took his father's words to heart. He rarely cried. In fact, he began refraining from displaying too much emotion in general. The years following were some of his more difficult years. At the tender age of ten he was Guardian of the Floating Island. Tobor always put work first and if he ever did return to the island, he was in Haven. Very rarely did he pay a visit to Spectre or his family. Hawking did what he could to help Spectre but he couldn't afford to put off cleaning the island any longer. After the nuclear fallout several decades prior, the island needed to be restored if any were to return home.
Spectre didn't care, he learned not to. He remembered once screaming at his grandfather to leave him be when Hawking expressed concern for his well being. He was going to take care of the island and the inhabitants, even if he was still a child. He was going to be strong, he would still make his father proud. Yes, that hope filled his very being and it was what kept him going, even after his mother died from a broken heart when he turned twelve. As for the inhabitants, they weren't sure what to make ofthe young Guardian and felt pity that one so young should carry so heavy a burden. Spectre pushed aside their sympathies. He didn't want them, didn't need them. He wasn't going to be weak. He began wearing the helmet and dark robes to hide himself. No one could see the pain or how he felt, so intimidated as they were by his appearance. The ensemble gave him a false sense of strength as well as a false sense of security from the pain he felt.
"But Father, I don't know if I can do this alone."
A young Thunderhawk glanced up fearfully at his father. He was now ten years of age and as far as Spectre was concerned, it was time for him to learn self reliance and build his skills as a Guardian the way he had to years ago.
"You'll be fine Thunderhawk," Spectre replied, smiling down at his son. A small part of him screamed not to do this. He should not abandon his child, not the way his father had left him, but the years alone had hardened Spectre and he felt that it would be of benefit to Thunderhawk if he didn't have his father to run to every time he was in trouble.
"Just because you won't see me doesn't mean I won't be there for you," Spectre said. He knelt next to his son and placed a hand on the lavender one's shoulder. Thunderhawk's small hands gripped onto his father's arm, his blue eyes focused upon his father's red ones. "I had to be alone too and it hurts. It's hard. Despite that, it has helped make me what I am today. It strengthened me, as it will you."
"Yes father."
Spectre winced slightly. Those two little words always reminded him of the conversations he tried to have with Tobor, his response to his father always the same.
"Remain strong my son. Never waver, and you'll be just fine."
Thunderhawk nodded, tears beginning to flow from his eyes. Spectre had enforced a no crying rule with his son but he allowed this. Part of him wanted to cry with but he held his tears in check. He leaned forward and kissed his son on the forehead before standing. With one final smile, he turned and left his son to bear the mantel of Guardian of the Floating Island.
Spectre stood in the middle of his room as the memories flooded him. How badly he wished he could go back and change things, oh so many things. He should have listened to his instincts to remain with Thunderhawk instead of leaving him the way his father had left him. No, the way Moritori left him. It was so hard to look back and not think of him as father. After all, that's how he knew him as back then. But Moritori's actions made perfect sense. Why would he have wanted to raise a Guardian?Spectre ran a hand over his face. He should have seen that, understood it, but no. So desperate he was to gain his father's favor that he overlooked every sign that something wasn't right. He always blamed the Dark Legion for Tobor's behavior, never realizing until recently just how close to the mark he really was.
Over time the distance between him and Tobor grew. They would associate when necessary but nothing else. He gave up trying to win any favor from his father, having finally come to realize it was fruitless battle. Hawking was even distant, having now chosen to live outside Haven and among the citizens a majority of the time. The relationship between father and son had vanished between the three of them, something that concerned some of the older members of the Brotherhood. Rembrandt and Jordan tried to mend ties between the three, but to no avail. The family bonds had been broken.
Thunderhawk eventually joined him, and then Sojourner and Janelle-Li. Spectre smiled fondly, remembering his dear granddaughter. Janelle-Li was so gentle, so sweet, so loving. It was impossible not to love her and her presence in Haven seemed to brighten everyone's moods. Even Spectre himself found he couldn't remain so moody when he was in her company. His smile turned into a frown. If only he had listened to his instincts with her. If only he hadn't listened to her when she screamed at him to stay out of her life. Maybe, just maybe, if he had done what he should have, he could have saved her.
"Granddaughter, what is wrong?"
Janelle-Li was in the library, one of her favorite places in Haven, and Spectre could tell she had been crying. It pained him to see her upset. She was usually so happy but she occasionally had moments when she would be weepy and depressed. These moods were hard to pick up on, Janelle-Li was never around when she was in one of them, but Spectre had a feeling in his gut that something was bothering her. The rest of the Brotherhood had a feeling that something might not have been right but Janelle-Li insisted she was fine and her warm smile reassured everyone it was.
"It's nothing Grandfather, really," she replied weakly. "I'm just worried about Athair is all." It was true that she worried about her son, but that was expected. She was so motherly, so caring, more so than anyone else Spectre felt. At times he almost wanted to forego tradition and allow her to remain on the island with Athair. The newest Guardian was definitely a unique one. He was intelligent, took his duties seriously, but he had a spark in him that made him so different. If anything, he had an interesting sense of humor. Spectre had a feeling the little one was going to be a handful.
"Janelle-Li," Spectre said, hoping this time he could coax something out of her. "I know you worry about your son, but I think there's something else. Tell me what's wrong, please."
"I told you, it's nothing," Janelle-Li insisted. Spectre could tell from her tone that she had no interest in wanting to continue this conversation. "It's probably just… hormones or something." She gave a little laugh and shrugged her shoulders.
"Very well, if you insist," Spectre replied. He could tell she was hiding something but decided not to press the issue. He frowned immediately when Janelle-Li's face pinched in fear. Her gaze was focused behind him and he turned to see Tobor standing in the doorway. He was on guard immediately. Tobor smiled warmly but Spectre did not return it. He cared nothing about his father's feelings now.
"I didn't mean to interrupt. I was just thinking to myself that a good book might be in order and when I heard Janelle-Li was here, well, it was even more of an incentive to come down." Tobor smiled, his gaze resting upon Janelle-Li. There seemed to a perverse nature to his smile but Spectre paid it no heed. He paid little attention to anything his father did anymore.
"Well, there's plenty of good books here," Janelle-Li said nervously, gesturing around her. She was on her feet in an instant. "I hate to leave so suddenly but I think I'll take over surveillance from my father. I'd like to see how Athair's doing." She hurried out of the room, not bothering to look at Tobor as she passed.
There was that shift in mood again. It was so unlike her and if he had given it thought at that time he might have noticed sooner that she seemed nervous around Tobor, a feeling she never displayed around anyone else. In fact, she didn't bother to associate much with him but Spectre thought nothing of it. No one associated much with him. But Janelle-Li seemed to go out of her way to avoid Tobor when she could. Spectre couldn't blame her though. He didn't care to spend any time with the man that he didn't have to,
Still, that didn't quell the nagging voice at the back of his head that screamed that something was very seriously wrong. The voice became more pronounced after Athair responded to the calling of the Ancient Walkers, abandoning his position as Guardian, much to the dismay of everyone, save for Janelle-Li. She seemed to welcome it and eagerly offered to take up his duties. She went back to the island with glee, something that should have sent warning bells ringing in the minds of the rest of the Brotherhood.
I should have known. Spectre berated himself for it over and over again. He should have known. He should have seen that there was more going on than what was readily visible. In detaching himself from his own feelings, he became less aware to the feelings of others. He could sense emotions, but he never gave them the thought he once did. Perhaps if he had, he could have done something to save Janelle-Li.
Janelle-Li's reports were always sporadic. Sometimes she'd keep in touch regularly, other times she'd keep her communications simple and short. Occasionally one of the Brotherhood would wander onto the island to check on her, a job Tobor volunteered for whenever he was around. He had visited her again a couple days ago, saying that she was doing well and left it at that. That was what she always said and eventually everyone stopped questioning her about it.
Spectre wanted to see her again. Her time away from Haven depressed several members and he missed her horribly. There were times he wanted to convince her to come back but he knew she wouldn't. The way she had been behaving, he could almost swear she was avoiding the Brotherhood. It was bad enough his father put duty first, but Janelle-Li? It just didn't feel right, no matter what Spectre told himself.
"Spectre!"
Janelle-Li was surprised to see him, no doubt wondering why he had come out to her.
"Before you begin fearing for the worst let me just say that I'm only here to check up on you. We don't get to see you much anymore."
Janelle-Li hung her head and turned away. "I'm sorry Grandfather. It's just that the island still needs so much care and attention."
Spectre tilted his head to the side, trying to see her face. Why did she hide herself? This wasn't the Janelle-Li he knew years ago. He opened his mouth to speak when his eyes caught something black on her neck. His curiosity turned into wide-eyed shock, and horror, when he realized that what he was seeing a large bruise, surrounding a vicious bite mark.
"What happened?" Spectre growled. Janelle-Li's eyes widened in horror and she turned her back to Spectre.
"I… I don't know what you're talking about," she stammered.
"I think you do," Spectre said firmly. He seized Janelle-Li by the shoulders and turned her around. The female gasped in shock at Spectre's sudden display of force. He pushed aside her spines to get a better look. It was exactly as he had seen.
"Who did this to you?" Spectre demanded.
"It's nothing," Janelle-Li insisted. She raised her arms and pushed Spectre's hands off of her. She took a few steps back, her face a mix of anger, fear, and sorrow.
"Nothing? That doesn't look like 'nothing' to me child," Spectre replied.
"It's what I say it is," Janelle-Li said, her voice rising.
"Don't take that tone with me," Spectre admonished lightly.
"I'll take whatever tone I damn well feel like!" Janelle-Li screamed. Spectre stepped back a few paces. Never, in all the years he had known her, would he have expected Janelle-Li to raise her voice. Tears flowed from her eyes, her arms trembling at her sides as she glowered at Spectre.
"I told you, I'm fine. I don't care what you think. I can take care of myself and don't you dare say a thing to anyone about this. It's my own business and I'll deal with it on my own!"
Spectre sputtered for a few seconds, not sure how to respond. Janelle-Li's fury was unlike anything he had ever encountered before. After a few more seconds he was able to form a coherent thought and he tried to placate his grandchild.
"Janelle-Li, I'm sorry. I just want to help," Spectre said softly.
"If you truly want to help me Grandfather-" Janelle-Li spat, the last word spoken almost venomously. "-stay out of my life. All of you can stay out of my life. Now leave!"
Spectre remained frozen. He tried once again to speak only to be cut off by Janelle-Li's fury.
"Leave!"
Spectre stepped back again, his heart shattering. What on Mobius could have happened to cause such a change in his beautiful granddaughter? He turned and left quickly for Haven. His mind, his heart, screamed at him to do something. To help her. To involve the Brotherhood, despite her wishes.
No, she'd hate me. She'd never forgive me and I don't want to be any more estranged from her than I already am. The bonds between me and my family are so fragile as it is.
Spectre sunk to the floor on his knees and leaned forward, resting his forehead against the floor. He should have risked it. He should have opened his mouth. He remembered approaching his father, simply because he was the last one who had seen her and he had said that she was fine. Did she do the same to him, or was it something more? Tobor was definitely uncomfortable when Spectre approached him with the news. His reactions raised some suspicions but Tobor had quelled them quickly. Dare he go against Janelle-Li's wishes? She had no marks when he had seen her, so she must have had a run in with a wild animal on the island. It was a lame excuse, but Tobor pressed him on one point, and it was keeping his silence. Janelle-Li demanded it. Had he no respect for her? Was he going to cry to the Brotherhood? Was the fact that Janelle-Li was a female that kept him from allowing her to self sufficient as she wanted to be?
Tobor had beaten so many of those points into his head that he finally caved in. He wasn't going to disrespect Janelle-Li. As much as he wanted to help her, he had to leave her be, as he had to with Thunderhawk and Sojourner. Tobor had beaten him down once again, as he did so many years ago. It wasn't until a few years later, when Janelle-Li passed away, that he wondered if his greatest neglect to her was keeping silent.
"I just don't know what's wrong with her," Hawking said. He sighed and tossed the medical reports on to the table.
Janelle-Li's health had been failing her for some time and no one could find a reason as to why. Sojourner was beside himself with grief. Sabre, the newest Guardian, Athair's son, had come to Haven to see Janelle-Li for Athair could not come himself. Sabre was going to take up the mantel of Guardian now, under the tutelage of Archimedes. For now though, he remained by Sojourner's side, giving comfort as best he could to his grieving grandfather.
It was several days later that her health took a turn for the worse and everyone knew she would not last much longer. Everyone had filed in to say their goodbyes individually, Spectre waiting till the very last. He walked in slowly, wondering how she'd respond to him. The last conversation he had with her was the one on the island several years ago when she told him to leave. He stood by her side, glancing down at her frail form. Janelle-Li was no older than sixty and yet she looked over one hundred, she had aged so much. Spectre gently grasped her hand between his own. She opened her eyes to look at him and smiled weakly.
"Grandfather," she said, her voice hoarse.
"Hush now," Spectre whispered. He smiled warmly at her, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. He fought them, he always fought his tears, regardless of how badly they need to flow. "There's no need for words."
Janelle-Li squeezed his hand. "But there is." Spectre shushed her as she tried to speak.
"Please, "she rasped. "Please, allow me to speak." Spectre nodded and fell silent.
"Despite everything that happened, everything that has been said between us, I love you." Spectre nodded. That went without saying but he said nothing and allowed her to continue. "Please take care of everyone for me, especially my grandchildren. He can't be trusted."
Spectre's froze and he stared at her. He wasn't expecting those words but at the same time, he couldn't help but feel that he knew what she meant.
"Don't trust him," she said again. Spectre leaned in close and squeezed her hand as hard as he dared.
"Why, what has he done? Please tell me." Spectre searched her face, looking for a sign, anything, that could explain to him what she was trying to say. There was more to her words but in his confused and saddened state, he could not figure out what.
Janelle-Li smiled weakly. Spectre could see the strength fading from her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak again and Spectre put his ear close to her mouth.
"Don't hold it back," She said. Spectre frowned. What did she mean? What was she talking about? "Don't hold it back. Don't hide."
"I'm afraid I don't understand," Spectre replied. His eyes were blurry and he wiped away at them furiously.
"Don't hide," Janelle-Li said again, her voice barely a whisper. Spectre panicked as her eyes closed.
"No, please. Tell me what you mean. Please tell me!" Spectre insisted, trying to keep his voice from rising, but no response came from Janelle-Li.
A hand on his shoulder startled him. Spectre turned his head to see Hawking and the rest of the Brotherhood behind him. Sojourner and Sabre were both crying and Thunderhawk was fighting his own tears. Hawking placed a sympathetic hand on Spectre's shoulder and squeezed lightly while Tobor displayed no visible emotion. Spectre growled when his gaze settled upon his father. He can't be trusted. Somehow, for some reason he didn't yet understand, he knew it was Tobor Janelle-Li had been referring too. He released Janelle-Li's hand, ready to lunge for him but Hawking held him firm, using some of his chaos power to keep Spectre in place.
"Control yourself," Hawking said firmly. "I know you're angry and that you are hurting but don't take it out on us. Janelle-Li wouldn't want that from you."
Spectre trembled like a leaf, struggling to control his anger. No, Janelle-Li wasn't one for violence, regardless of the reason. Spectre stood and left the room quickly, not bothering to look at anyone as he left. He moved down the halls, his mind a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts.
"Son," a voice called out. Spectre stopped and growled. How dare that man address him. He turned and stared down his father, a man he would have once given his life for to hear one kind word from, whom he now despised with ever fiber of his being.
"I know you're upset," Tobor said as he approached. "Janelle-Li's loss is unfortunate."
"Don't," Spectre hissed. Tobor stopped and frowned. "Don't pretend you care you heartless son of a bitch. Don't you even try to pretend you care!" Spectre roared those last words, not caring one bit if anyone else heard him.
Tobor said nothing but his expression was hard.
"Do me a favor," Spectre hissed. "Stay away from me. Stay away from the rest of my family. Just stay the hell away from all of us."
"You know I can't do that," Tobor replied. There was a cold edge to his voice, almost as if he was daring Spectre to challenge him. "I may be busy with my work but I can never be away from my family for too long."
Spectre walked forward, closing the distance between them. "Try harder," he said as coldly as he could. Before Tobor had a chance to speak, Spectre had turned and left.
Oh Janelle-Li, if only I had taken your advice sooner. You never should have had to suffer.
Spectre sat up, taking in several deep breaths. Janelle-Li's final words haunted him, constantly. He wasn't sure what she quite meant but he understood her first words to him. He never trusted Tobor. He had taken to watching Tobor constantly, though he wasn't around as much after Janelle-Li passed away. That only served to make him more suspicious. The bruises he had seen, as well as her behavior, all pointed towards abuse. Sojourner suspected as much as well as Hawking but no one did anything.
"Janelle-Li will come to us in her own time," Hawking had said.
Everyone had their suspicions but there was nothing to go on, no solid proof of what exactly happened with her. Spectre kept mum, not bothering to voice his opinions, not wanting to involve the rest of the Brotherhood in his own battle against the man he knew hatefully as his father. So many more years passedand two more Guardians, Locke and Knuckles, joined the family. It wasn't until Locke's son Knuckles stumbled upon Haven and revealed the truth that Moritori's secret was discovered. Everyone was a mix of emotions; the revelation that Tobor was really Moritori in disguise had taken them all aback. None of them, however, felt the impact of that more than Spectre.
His was furious. All these years, a Dark Legionnaire was under his nose and he never noticed. All those early years trying to appease a man who had no interest in raising a child who wasn't his own, much less a Guardian. All those years he spent to himself, believing he was just a workaholic when in reality he was plotting their downfall. And Janelle-Li. How she must have suffered at his hands. After Moritori was exposed he had no doubt that it was he who was harming her.
And he had done nothing to stop it.
Yet, under all of that, there was a small sight of hope. Knuckles had seen the real Tobor, and Spectre had the faintest glimmer of hope in his heart that he would have a chance to get to know his real father. The possibility seemed unreal to Spectre, but it existed, and it uplifted the dark echidna's spirits, if only slightly, for a little while.
But fate would not be so kind to him. In a battle to the death against Kragok, Tobor sent both of them crashing into a laser cannon on a Dark Legion battle cruiser, killing them both instantly. The small sliver of hope Spectre had of ever getting to know his true father had slipped away, like sand through his fingers, never to be reclaimed. How he hated the Dark Legion. A hatred that started out as a child's anger over the harm that had befallen his father had now grown into a vendetta. They took his father from him, his childhood, his life. Everything he could have had, gone, because of one echidna's selfish and cruel ambitions. Moritori stole everything from him. The Dark Legion stole everything from him.
Spectre started slightly, now acutely aware of a presence outside his door. A quick scan with his telepathy told him it was Athair. He had no real desire to see anyone and yet something within him said that Athair would understand. Not only because of his gift of perspective, but Athair had a knack for feeling the pain and emotions of others and he was always quick to help heal. Something inside him told him not to ignore his feelings this time around. Athair's mental plea to be allowed entrance tugged at him and Spectre relented.
Athair opened the door, entered, and closed it silently behind him. His face creased with concern for his grandfather who was still kneeling on the floor. Athair approached and knelt beside him. Both men exchanged glances, neither speaking a single word. All that could be said was there in their eyes. Spectre smiled softly. Athair's gentle manner always reminded him fondly of Janelle-Li.
Don't hold it in.
Janelle-Li's final words came back to him again full force.
Don't hide.
Spectre's bottom lip trembled as realization of what Janelle-Li was trying to say dawned on him.
"Keeping it bottled within eats away at a being's soul," Athair said. "Over time it devours one's very essence, sucking life from one like a parasite, until nothing but a hollow shell remains. Janelle-Li died because of it and she wished to spare you from the same fate, if only you'll take her words to heart."
Don't hide.
Spectre felt it welling up inside him, aching for the release he had denied himself for decades. All the pain, all the hurt, the anger, everything that had pounded against the mental and emotional damn he had built was now breaking through the cracks, wanting to spill over. Spectre released it all with a heart wrenching cry, the pain and sorrow having now found the release it had yearned for. He fell against Athair, the tears flowing freely, nothing now to hold them back. Athair wrapped Spectre in a gentle hug,consoling him as Spectre wept in his arms.