Title: A cut to let love in
Author: mikipau
Rating: K+
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Pairing: Kathryn/Regina
Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time or the characters there within, I'm just borrowing them from time to time with a promise to return them unharmed and hopefully a little bit happier.
Summary: Regina has a hard time letting her guard down - (somewhat) established relationship.
"Please, let me help you."
Regina felt her own shoulders tense at the words. Had they come from someone else, Emma Swan in particular, she would have cut them down with sarcasm or even a blatant threat, but when the words were uttered from the woman standing next to her all she could do was bite her tongue. Kathryn's blue eyes were wide, almost begging, as she searched Regina's face for some kind of sign of consent, one of her hands frozen halfway to Regina's own.
Regina felt the stiffness leave her shoulders as the protective walls she'd built and maintained for what seemed like an eternity gave way, if only for a split second. She straightened her back, forced a somewhat bleak smile on her face and turned her gaze to meet Kathryn's, walls once again intact. "Thank you for offering, but I think I can manage."
Being coddled, a need to be cared for, was a weakness Regina didn't feel she could afford. Showing weakness in any shape or form was dangerous, it could lead to getting hurt and Regina knew all about pain - the worst kind being heartache. Kathryn was already too familiar with her, Regina having let her under her skin, into her home, her bed, even into her heart - a friend at first, now her lover. She knew she was fighting a loosing battle, in fact a battle she'd probably already lost, but she couldn't help to feel she'd give up too much, risk to much, if she showed herself vulnerable.
Kathryn didn't let up, her hand enfolding Regina's, pulling the towel from it, and sighing as she inspected the injury. Regina had been slicing apples for a pie, her thoughts far away from the knife in her hand. She'd cut herself pretty badly, and even though she was bleeding profusely she knew the cut wasn't enough to warrant a trip to the hospital. She only needed to clean it up and put a compress dressing on. Trying to do so, with only one hand, had proved somewhat difficult and her frustrated grumblings must have been heard in the hallway, where the other woman had just entered.
Kathryn put Regina's hand under the running water of the kitchen tap, then turned her attention to the first aid kit lying on the counter. She rifled through it for a disinfectant and a new dressing, Regina having bled all over the one she'd unsuccessfully tried to put on earlier. Drying the injured hand off and opening the packet of disinfectant wipes, Kathryn paused to look up into Regina's face. "This is going to sting."
"Stop coddling me." The words were out of her mouth before she had time to think. They were meant to be spoken in anger, but came out more like a small, weak plea causing Kathryn to stop what she was doing. Regina looked away, down at their hands, not wanting to meet the beautiful blue she knew would completely undo her. She felt the blonde's warm hand against her cheek, tenderly caressing, trying to turn her head so their eyes could meet.
"I'm not coddling you Regina. I care about you." The words rang true, even to Regina's well-protected heart. She felt her eyes burn and blinked, trying to hide how close she was to tears. Tears that had nothing to do with the slight stinging of the disinfectant against her open wound.
"I know you hate to ask for help and feeling vulnerable obviously makes your skin crawl, but darling... Please, Regina stop being so stubborn. Can't you let your guard down, just this once? Let me take care of you." Kathryn reached out to put the dressing on and this time Regina not only tensed, but jumped.
All movement stopped. The world seemed to hold its breath, even the air seemed frozen and frigid. Kathryn's hand, holding the dressing inches away from Regina's wound, was still in the air as if someone had pressed pause on a movie. A ragged intake of breath, then a voice brimming with sadness and something very much like defeat. "You can make love to me, but you can't let me put a stupid band aid on your finger? Regina..." Kathryn's voice broke, her eyes filled with tears as she stared at the empty mask that was Regina's face, still turned slightly away from her. "I thought that maybe, someday, I could get you to love me. Really love me and let me love you..." Whatever else she had thought to say was lost as she held back a sob, a hurt whimper still managing to escape her lips.
The shuddered breath, the slumped shoulders and anguished sound of heartache made Regina feel like someone had just poured a bucketful of ice cold water over her. Paralysing panic spread throughout her body, her heart tried to beat its way out of her chest, her thoughts were jumbled and confused, sweat broke out on her forehead and she felt the acid taste of fear in her mouth, a taste more familiar than she cared to ever admit out loud. She'd lost so much in her life, some by her own hand, some by others'. If she had learned anything from those experiences it was that she couldn't loose Kathryn. She needed Kathryn. Kathryn was her happiness and she couldn't, wouldn't, throw that away for some ill-advised notion of protection born out of fear.
"I do." Regina's voice was low, but strong. "I do love you." She waited for a reaction, an answer from the woman she now realised held her heart.
"Then you have to start letting me in Regina. For real."
Regina nodded her head. She would. This time, for this woman, she would let the fortress around her heart crumble and fall. She held her hand out between them. "Would you dress my wound, please?" The simple words were anything but. The meaning behind them starkly clear to both women.
Kathryn's lips turned up into a small smile as she pressed the dressing onto Regina's wound . "All set," she said as she pressed a kiss to knuckles peeking out from the clean white gauze.
"Thank you."
Kathryn tilted her head to the side, gazing contemplatively into brown eyes. "You're welcome." She drew back, not breaking their gaze and still holding Regina's hand. She made a noise close to a snort, shaking her head from side to side as she smile widely. "You silly woman. All this emotional toll over a small cut." She leaned in, letting her lips barely touch Regina's in a soft kiss. As she drew back Regina acted out of instinct, wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist, holding her close and claiming her lips in a much more passionate kiss. A kiss Kathryn willingly returned.
When they broke for air Kathryn rested her head against Regina's shoulder. The brown eyed woman placed featherlight kisses into blonde hair, whispering "I love you", before tilting her head back down to once again claim the lips of the woman who had shown her what true love and happiness were really about.