Just like a Nightmare
Disclaimer: I own nothing, please don't sue.
A/N: A giant thankyou to audacity121 for her support, title suggestions, and last of all for beta'ing. This is chapter one of two.
Here I was lying in a lumpy uneven hospital bed, hooked up to hordes of different beeping machines. My being here in this place wasn't his fault- although I knew he would be blaming himself – it was my fault. I decided. It was my choice.
As the constant beeping of the machines around me, continued to gnaw at a feeling bubbling in the pit of my stomach, a feeling or was it a need to tell him that I was okay, to tell him that it wasn't his fault. But why should I do that? Let him suffer. Here's me thinking he had changed. Men like him were dangerous to get involved with, and it was unlike me to do so, it was inevitable that he would hurt me, and he had hurt me to the point where I felt like one of the glass walls of the lab: invisible and easily breakable.
I'm a smart girl my parents had always said so, but sometimes; I wish my knowledge wasn't so extensive. That my eyes had overlooked some of the extremely noticeable – to me – things that Danny had done. So that now I wouldn't be shattered into a million tiny pieces, my face grimaced. Everything was a mess, and it was all because of one man…Danny Messer – the man who wouldn't leave my heart or mind.
After Ruben Sandoval died Danny had turned into a piece of paper, burning, unknown to him; he was slowly destroying himself and me.
During my unwanted thought session one of the nurses came in to check on me. I forgot what her name was…So many people had come through this room in the last couple of days: nurses, doctors, and police. I hadn't really been paying attention to names. Guilt soon washed its way through my veins or was that the warmth of the pain medication slowly pulsing through my body. This wasn't me. This wasn't the normal Lindsay Monroe, she wouldn't have put herself in this situation, and if she did, she wouldn't forget anyone's name.
"How are you feeling Ms. Monroe?" The nurse's deep voice rumbled from my feet to my head, causing the loud drumming in my head to increase.
"Okay." The unknown scratchy noise retreating from my mouth lied.
"Well you be sure to get some rest, missy, you need to heal. I'll be back in half an hour and I want to see you asleep, this medication will help." she muttered as she left the room.
It seems for the last few days all I've been doing is sleeping. My mind keeps wondering through the same dream or was it a nightmare? An almost out-of-body experience, I was watching myself, and every stupid mistake that I had made before landing in the hospital. Drifting back and forth, my mind continued to visit an unwelcomed memory…
I step into the elevator, holding it for Danny and myself, not knowing that he is watching me out the corner of his eye.
"Mon-Linds-" He starts to say…
"Don't... Please don't" I look at Danny's face. Every night it was the same pained expression, and every night I felt euphoric. Did it make me a monster to see him in pain after what he did to me? But what pain was it washing through him: the pain of him acknowledging that he was losing me or the pain of losing Ruben.
The elevator make a 'ding' noise, and I quickly dodge shot out of that small metal box like a bullet.
The next scene quickly flashes before me. The entire team is crowding outside the apartment building which hold a crime scene and victim.
"You just have to wait another five minutes for the place to be properly cleared" Flack repeats as he leans against the buildings solid wall, peaking in through the door, looking for any sign of human life.
"You said that half an hour ago" I state, sounding slightly peeved. Out the corner of my eye I notice the sharp look Stella shoots at Danny, who looks away instantly trying to escape the glare. I looktoward Mac who was talking on the phone, making his way over to us.
"We have another scene, Stella, Sheldon you come with me. Danny, Lindsay you work this scene" he mutters as he stalked away, followed by Stella and Sheldon.
I walk up the stairs to the apartment followed by Flack and Danny. Flack goes in search of the cops that were supposed to clear the area, while Danny and I go into the apartment.
"Do you wanna take the body or the scene?" Danny asks. His voice slightly shaky.
"Body."I move to slowly assess the body seeing how Danny hesitated- looking like he was going to say something- but he didn't. As I scan the body I heard a sound… the sound which keeps reoccurring in my head every few hours. The noise which held my attention and started the chain of events that led me to the hospital. It is the sound of someone cocking a gun. I turn to my left searching for the sound. The shock registers on my face, at the sight before me. An unknown person – now known to me as Thomas Gefferson – who is holding a gun to an officers head – this officer I know personally, his name is James, James Swayer, and his wife gave birth to his first child a week ago. I remember he couldn't stop talking about his little boy – a horrified expression emerges across his face.
"Get out" the intruder yells at me. He points the gun toward me now. "Give me your gun" I look down the gun attached to my hip, it felt heavier when he said that. "Now" he screams.
I slowly reach down to take my gun out of the holster. "Put it on the floor and kick it to me" He instructs. I do as he said, then slowly raise my hands above my head. My thoughts drift to Danny, the night on his pool table, the fried spiders, him coming to Montana. I look back and forth from Thomas Gefferson, to James Swayer. A smile widens on my face. This was the way I am going to die, thinking about one of the happiest times in my life, with a smile on my face. Gefferson picked my gun off the ground then aimed it directly at me.
TBC